15 year old girl kills herself after persistent bullying

chadachada123

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In Search of Username said:
chadachada123 said:
What I don't understand is how this could be an issue in an age when literally (and I do mean literally) at LEAST 30% of girls in high school have shared something nude or highly sexual with someone else.

Seriously.

I hardly know a single girl in real life from high school personally that didn't share nude pics at some point before graduation, and most of them were at some point at least viewed by someone other than the intended recipient, but never did my high school have bullying problems related to it other than ONE single case by a bunch of jock assholes and a girl that dated one of them.

Shit, I don't know what age my own damn sister was, but she's shared nude pics with her now-ex boyfriend and understood that he'd probably end up showing some of his friends (who, sadly, include most of my friends).

The case here seems a bit of an anomaly, since a huge minority (possibly a majority) of girls under 18 now have done the exact same thing without massive bullying.
Your high school sounds insane. Pretty sure it's not like that everywhere. :p
I should clarify, I don't know that 30% of my school's girls shared pics, and it's not like our school went around spreading rumors/pictures everywhere or anything like THAT, but way WAY over 30% of girls that I knew *personally* (and didn't just know by name) have shared nude pics, and practically every girl that I became friends with over the course of high school shared nude pics at some point with someone I knew or admitted to it.

I'm extrapolating because these girls don't seem unique by any stretch, and because my school is rather average for my state (from appearance, anyway). Edit: It also includes a lot of girls from other schools and even from other states that I knew personally.

Rest of the US may not be this way, but I'm pretty damn sure, for my part of the US, it is.
 

Something Amyss

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White Lightning said:
I don't want to be "that guy" but according to the article she was posting explicit videos and photos of herself online and got upset when some guy shared them with "everyone". Something tells me alot this could of been avoided if she wasn't an attention whore and kept her clothes on.
She flashed someone. Once. For that she should have expected to be bullied, harassed, blackmailed and stalked across multiple schools?

Are you seriously going to tell people that's a reasonably expectable outcome?
 
Feb 22, 2009
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chadachada123 said:
In Search of Username said:
chadachada123 said:
What I don't understand is how this could be an issue in an age when literally (and I do mean literally) at LEAST 30% of girls in high school have shared something nude or highly sexual with someone else.

Seriously.

I hardly know a single girl in real life from high school personally that didn't share nude pics at some point before graduation, and most of them were at some point at least viewed by someone other than the intended recipient, but never did my high school have bullying problems related to it other than ONE single case by a bunch of jock assholes and a girl that dated one of them.

Shit, I don't know what age my own damn sister was, but she's shared nude pics with her now-ex boyfriend and understood that he'd probably end up showing some of his friends (who, sadly, include most of my friends).

The case here seems a bit of an anomaly, since a huge minority (possibly a majority) of girls under 18 now have done the exact same thing without massive bullying.
Your high school sounds insane. Pretty sure it's not like that everywhere. :p
I should clarify, I don't know that 30% of my school's girls shared pics, and it's not like our school went around spreading rumors/pictures everywhere or anything like THAT, but way WAY over 30% of girls that I knew *personally* (and didn't just know by name) have shared nude pics, and practically every girl that I became friends with over the course of high school shared nude pics at some point with someone I knew or admitted to it.

I'm extrapolating because these girls don't seem unique by any stretch, and because my school is rather average for my state (from appearance, anyway).

Rest of the US may not be this way, but I'm pretty damn sure, for my part of the US, it is.
I'm from the UK, maybe we're all just prudes over here. :p Or maybe that's just people I know.
 

Blade_125

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Esotera said:
Midnight Llamaman said:
White Lightning said:
I don't want to be "that guy" but according to the article she was posting explicit videos and photos of herself online and got upset when some guy shared them with "everyone". Something tells me alot this could of been avoided if she wasn't an attention whore and kept her clothes on.
So it's her fault that people went out of there way to bully, torment and beat her so much she killed herself?

You have a serious problem with your view point, Jesus.
Obviously it's not anyone's fault entirely, but unless she was incredibly naive, she must have known she was posting those videos for some form of attention, either good or bad. It's a failure on the part of her family, herself, the school, and bullying individuals involved - it can't just be attributed to the bullies.
Sorry but I take serious issue with your last sentence.

You have just posted something very naive and offensive to a lot of people, and equated blaiming the victim for what happened to her. Now if I was to go out and post this post from you to various places, including your name, address, phone number would it be your fault for bringing this onto yourself? Or would it be more my fault for egging people on, and the other who would catch on and start hounding you dany and night?


People make stupid decisions in their life. You and I are no different. Making them suffer endlessly for those is not right at all, and in absolutely no way justifies the torment this poor girl suffered through. At all!

You may not want to be that guy, but you are that guy. I seriously hope you can step back and realize that in order to not be that guy, then you need to not be that guy.
 

Silvianoshei

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I think we should be asking why she felt the need to take her clothes off to get attention. She was freaking 12 years old. What the hell does that say about our peer educational environment?

You know, I don't like sounding like some crotchety old man who thinks that everything is bad for you, but I feel like we're irresponsibly exposing kids to adult themes and ideas they may not be able to handle by themselves without an adult there to talk them through it.

I volunteered at an elementary school talk about being a doctor to some 5th graders and some of the girls were dressed like sluts. If there was any other way to put it I would. I went to grab coffee with the teacher after that, and I told her that I kind of felt sick. She looked kind of surprised and told me that it's been like that for years. They can't control it, so they've given up.

Honestly, there isn't a thing about this story that doesn't disgust me. The fact that she felt pressured to use her body to stand out amongst her peers rather than her mind, perhaps because a pop culture and advertising overload has taught her that all men are interested in is her value as a sexual object; the fact that her parents clearly didn't try and filter or understand what she was being exposed to, and how that molded her school environment; or the AGONIZING AND INFURIATING FACT THAT WE HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THESE PROBLEMS EXISTING FOR YEARS, but we do NOTHING because some greedy bastards are making profit selling adult makeup and sexualized clothing to children and calling it "market diversification".

Sorry, this topic really makes me upset. We as a culture talk a lot about womens' equality, but since it's been profitable since the 1950s to sell women cosmetics, jewelry, dresses, and what have you, we (I say that as a man and an American Muslim) continue to oppress (yes, it is oppression) their rights to be given the same educational and social opportunities as men without sacrificing any of their "womanhood".

If you would like further reading on the subject, please read "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the selves of Adolecent Girls." It is brilliant.
 

saoirse13

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This is so sad, but not that shocking. Kids today are unbelievably cruel especially girls. Speaking as someone who was bullied for nearly 8 years straight I feel so horrible for the girl. Yes she made a dumb decision but jeez she really was just a kid. I may get thrashed for saying this but if it were my decision, all those involved in the bullying would get some sort of punishment for it. They tormented that poor girl to the point of suicide, and im sorry but the should be held in some way accountable for their actions. It's an absolute disgrace that people (teenagers or not) can behave and treat people like this and then walk away scot free when the shit hits the fan. And as horrible as this sounds... Karma really is a ***** and i have no sympathy for people when they get a taste of their own medicine.

EDIT: and before anyone says 'well the bullies made a stupid decision too' the bullies made a conscious decision everyday and everytime to pursue this girl and treat her like shit and bully her. They knew exactly what they were doing.
 

chadachada123

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In Search of Username said:
chadachada123 said:
I should clarify, I don't know that 30% of my school's girls shared pics, and it's not like our school went around spreading rumors/pictures everywhere or anything like THAT, but way WAY over 30% of girls that I knew *personally* (and didn't just know by name) have shared nude pics, and practically every girl that I became friends with over the course of high school shared nude pics at some point with someone I knew or admitted to it.

I'm extrapolating because these girls don't seem unique by any stretch, and because my school is rather average for my state (from appearance, anyway).

Rest of the US may not be this way, but I'm pretty damn sure, for my part of the US, it is.
I'm from the UK, maybe we're all just prudes over here. :p Or maybe that's just people I know.
Well, what do YOU guys do when you're dating someone? In (parts of) the US, it stereotypically involves sex for pretty much any relationship lasting longer than (3 months to a year), and now stereotypically can include the sending of nude pics.

Virginity ain't exactly a virtue in my home state, heh.

It's possible that my friends were just exceptionally good at convincing girls to exchange nude pictures, but most weren't exactly womanizers and just considered it a normal part of a relationship.
 

CommanderL

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what the fuck humanity why did nobody stop that guy from doing it this is terrible I feel cold and dead inside
 
Feb 22, 2009
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chadachada123 said:
In Search of Username said:
chadachada123 said:
I should clarify, I don't know that 30% of my school's girls shared pics, and it's not like our school went around spreading rumors/pictures everywhere or anything like THAT, but way WAY over 30% of girls that I knew *personally* (and didn't just know by name) have shared nude pics, and practically every girl that I became friends with over the course of high school shared nude pics at some point with someone I knew or admitted to it.

I'm extrapolating because these girls don't seem unique by any stretch, and because my school is rather average for my state (from appearance, anyway).

Rest of the US may not be this way, but I'm pretty damn sure, for my part of the US, it is.
I'm from the UK, maybe we're all just prudes over here. :p Or maybe that's just people I know.
Well, what do YOU guys do when you're dating someone? In (parts of) the US, it stereotypically involves sex for pretty much any relationship lasting longer than (3 months to a year), and now stereotypically can include the sending of nude pics.

Virginity ain't exactly a virtue in my home state, heh.

It's possible that my friends were just exceptionally good at convincing girls to exchange nude pictures, but most weren't exactly womanizers and just considered it a normal part of a relationship.
Oh, there was plenty of sex going on. Just not nude pictures. That all sounds about the same as it was here except for the nude pics part. Guess they raise us to think that's a bad idea over here?

The7Sins said:
White Lightning said:
I don't want to be "that guy" but according to the article she was posting explicit videos and photos of herself online and got upset when some guy shared them with "everyone". Something tells me alot this could of been avoided if she wasn't an attention whore and kept her clothes on.
Indeed she brought it on herself it seems. I have no sympathy for her in this case.
She was 12 years old. Everyone's a fucking idiot when they're 12.
 

generals3

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Silvianoshei said:
I think we should be asking why she felt the need to take her clothes off to get attention. She was freaking 12 years old. What the hell does that say about our peer educational environment?

You know, I don't like sounding like some crotchety old man who thinks that everything is bad for you, but I feel like we're irresponsibly exposing kids to adult themes and ideas they may not be able to handle by themselves without an adult there to talk them through it.

I volunteered at an elementary school talk about being a doctor to some 5th graders and some of the girls were dressed like sluts. If there was any other way to put it I would. I went to grab coffee with the teacher after that, and I told her that I kind of felt sick. She looked kind of surprised and told me that it's been like that for years. They can't control it, so they've given up.

Honestly, there isn't a thing about this story that doesn't disgust me. The fact that she felt pressured to use her body to stand out amongst her peers rather than her mind, perhaps because a pop culture and advertising overload has taught her that all men are interested in is her value as a sexual object; the fact that her parents clearly didn't try and filter or understand what she was being exposed to, and how that molded her school environment; or the AGONIZING AND INFURIATING FACT THAT WE HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THESE PROBLEMS EXISTING FOR YEARS, but we do NOTHING because some greedy bastards are making profit selling adult makeup and sexualized clothing to children and calling it "market diversification".

Sorry, this topic really makes me upset. We as a culture talk a lot about womens' equality, but since it's been profitable since the 1950s to sell women cosmetics, jewelry, dresses, and what have you, we (I say that as a man and an American Muslim) continue to oppress (yes, it is oppression) their rights to be given the same educational and social opportunities as men without sacrificing any of their "womanhood".

If you would like further reading on the subject, please read "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the selves of Adolecent Girls." It is brilliant.

I think you oversimplify things. Let's not also forget that technology has made it much easier to harm people or do stupid things. You can make a picture of yourself and share it with everyone with so much ease nowadays. In the past this wouldn't have happened because it would have been much harder to do it. You'd have to take the picture, than get it developed (and let's be honest, having to ask a guy to develop that nude pic of you would stop most kids who do such stupid things). And than for that guy to show it to everyone he'd have to either copy it or gather everyone and show it which takes already more efforts than clicking "attach file" and than select all the e-mail addresses and press "send".

And the fact many parents didn't grow up in this digital era also makes them less aware of the stupid things that can go totally wrong because technology makes it so much easier. I mean, i doubt my parents would ever think "my son may use that webcam to strip in front of others through the net and the person on the other side might than send that movie through". And as such parents will also be less likely to educate their children on the risks linked with this easiness to transfer data.

But yeah, there are a lot of wrongs in this story. But the culture is only one of those.
 

chadachada123

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In Search of Username said:
chadachada123 said:
In Search of Username said:
[

I'm from the UK, maybe we're all just prudes over here. :p Or maybe that's just people I know.
Well, what do YOU guys do when you're dating someone? In (parts of) the US, it stereotypically involves sex for pretty much any relationship lasting longer than (3 months to a year), and now stereotypically can include the sending of nude pics.

Virginity ain't exactly a virtue in my home state, heh.

It's possible that my friends were just exceptionally good at convincing girls to exchange nude pictures, but most weren't exactly womanizers and just considered it a normal part of a relationship.
Oh, there was plenty of sex going on. Just not nude pictures. That all sounds about the same as it was here except for the nude pics part. Guess they raise us to think that's a bad idea over here?
Oh no, they raise us to think that it's a horrendous idea, with parents that aren't totally oblivious. But here, there's a GREAT deal of rebellion in respect to parents with respect to relationships.

They never teach about the possible consequences here, though. THAT'S a possible issue I guess.
 
Feb 22, 2009
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chadachada123 said:
In Search of Username said:
chadachada123 said:
In Search of Username said:
[

I'm from the UK, maybe we're all just prudes over here. :p Or maybe that's just people I know.
Well, what do YOU guys do when you're dating someone? In (parts of) the US, it stereotypically involves sex for pretty much any relationship lasting longer than (3 months to a year), and now stereotypically can include the sending of nude pics.

Virginity ain't exactly a virtue in my home state, heh.

It's possible that my friends were just exceptionally good at convincing girls to exchange nude pictures, but most weren't exactly womanizers and just considered it a normal part of a relationship.
Oh, there was plenty of sex going on. Just not nude pictures. That all sounds about the same as it was here except for the nude pics part. Guess they raise us to think that's a bad idea over here?
Oh no, they raise us to think that it's a horrendous idea, with parents that aren't totally oblivious. But here, there's a GREAT deal of rebellion in respect to parents with respect to relationships.

They never teach about the possible consequences here, though. THAT'S a possible issue I guess.
Yeah, there's plenty of rebellion here, it's just generally a consensus among teenagers that it's a bad idea too. ;P
 

Oliver Nue

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BloatedGuppy said:
How she made it through four schools and a suicide attempt without SOMEONE being able to put a stop to this crap is beyond me. But it really pisses me off.
See also; God Bless America
EDIT- Apparently YT BBCode isn't working for me.
Yes, this is my opinion. This whole movie.
 

Esotera

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Blade_125 said:
It's a failure on the part of her family, herself, the school, and bullying individuals involved - it can't just be attributed to the bullies.
Sorry but I take serious issue with your last sentence.

You have just posted something very naive and offensive to a lot of people, and equated blaiming the victim for what happened to her. Now if I was to go out and post this post from you to various places, including your name, address, phone number would it be your fault for bringing this onto yourself? Or would it be more my fault for egging people on, and the other who would catch on and start hounding you dany and night?


People make stupid decisions in their life. You and I are no different. Making them suffer endlessly for those is not right at all, and in absolutely no way justifies the torment this poor girl suffered through. At all!

You may not want to be that guy, but you are that guy. I seriously hope you can step back and realize that in order to not be that guy, then you need to not be that guy.[/quote]

If you did hypothetically do this, then I would have partly brought it on myself for leaving so much personally identifiable information on this forum and other sites, and talking to random strangers on the internet. My family would also be at fault if they didn't recognise that something was seriously wrong with my mood & try and talk to me about it. You would also deserve a portion of the blame, because you made a deliberate effort to highlight this information for someone who has mental health issues.

And I know I'm being that guy, I'm trying to be Devil's Advocate to stop this thread turning into the self-righteous wankfest that it is almost inevitably going to degrade into. The situation isn't black and white and almost certainly involves more than just bullying.
 

Daeggreth

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Given my views on suicide and bullying and looking at the discussion so far I don't think I want to touch this with a 10 foot pole.

Just wanted to say, Caramel you help restore whatever faith in humanity I have. And since I didn't see it anywhere: *hugs Fappy*

...I'll just go back to lurking now...
 

Mojo

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Jynthor said:
Some friends she had.
"Ohai your boobs are on the internet so I hate you now."
Yeah, that's basically the thing was thinking while reading the article.
Something about the way this is presented here is really fishy. I mean its sad of course and whoever bullied her is an asshole, that's for sure. Still, how explicit was the pic that she was so scared she needed to kill herself? Inst flashing just showing her boobs? I mean come on, Id just tell that guy to go F**k himself and post it, see if I care. (If I was a girl) But maybe she was too young and scared. But still. She posted YouTube videos about it and changed her school. There is absolutely NO WAY that her parents or school counselor didn't know about this. How come nobody contacted the police or told her its not so bad? Yeah, and the friends too. How the f**k did she loose all her friends by being blackmailed? If one of my fiends told me she had this problem going on, Id sure as hell try to help her. I'm pretty sure any friend would.
 

Dreiko_v1legacy

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I came here expecting cyber bullying, this turns out to be a girl flashing people on a webcam having it bite her on the ass...sigh...I'm not sure which would be worse at this point.



Ah well, I'll go back to the original, it's her parent's fault for not supervising her properly and teaching her not to flash strangers on the internet.
 

Silvianoshei

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generals3 said:
I think you oversimplify things. Let's not also forget that technology has made it much easier to harm people or do stupid things. You can make a picture of yourself and share it with everyone with so much ease nowadays. In the past this wouldn't have happened because it would have been much harder to do it. You'd have to take the picture, than get it developed (and let's be honest, having to ask a guy to develop that nude pic of you would stop most kids who do such stupid things). And than for that guy to show it to everyone he'd have to either copy it or gather everyone and show it which takes already more efforts than clicking "attach file" and than select all the e-mail addresses and press "send".

And the fact many parents didn't grow up in this digital era also makes them less aware of the stupid things that can go totally wrong because technology makes it so much easier. I mean, i doubt my parents would ever think "my son may use that webcam to strip in front of others through the net and the person on the other side might than send that movie through". And as such parents will also be less likely to educate their children on the risks linked with this easiness to transfer data.

But yeah, there are a lot of wrongs in this story. But the culture is only one of those.
I think it has more to to with economics than simply culture. I think that just because it's now easier to do something stupid, and that parents might not know about it, doesn't really excuse them from teaching their kids the principles. I mean, my parents were born before "computer" was even a word, and they made sure that my sister never felt like she was being forced to do anything because of her peer group. She never felt that her worth was solely in her body, and she grew up in the era of the internet, webcams etc. She's now a successful attourney, and married with a kid. She doesn't have a scarred past because she, like all of us, was raised being taught that she's a human being and what matters is her intellegence, work ethic, and her character. When she was having a tough time in high school (she was kind of awkward), that kept her focused and sane.

The thing was, we had a TV in the house. We were all exposed to advertising and whatever, and we played video games with adult themes. But my parents were there to help me and my siblings to make sense of it all. They were responsible. The same thing can't be said of the parents of this girl, or a lot of other parents. Not that the parents are entirely to blame, I think that many don't know how to deal with all these new dangers and environmental changes. They feel out of touch and their kids shut them out. As a parent, however, if your kid gets to the point where they are attempting suicide, then you need to get that kid to therapy. Kicking and screaming if necessary. Parents need just as much education as kids do these days, and if you aren't prepared to be a responsible, caring, and firm parent, don't have kids.

Teenagers are not complex creatures, they are just trying to deal with new complexities in their lives. People think parenting has changed a lot, but really it hasn't. If you give your kid a good grounding in self-esteem, character, and work ethic, then they'll have something to hold onto in tough times. That has always been true, and continues to be true.

On a societal scale, we need to be more responsible with the way that we portray "ideal" men and women. It shouldn't be about one set of morals over another, it should be about following basic principles of human dignity without needing to resort to physicality to convey a message. Freedom of speech and a free market doesn't belie that responsibility. It can't be legislated, it must be imbibed.

Of course, that won't ever happen. Cheers!