Woman Falls Off Wii Balance Board, Turns Into Nymphomaniac

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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Woman Falls Off Wii Balance Board, Turns Into Nymphomaniac


Sit up straight and listen closely, kids, while I tell you the tale of the woman who fell off her Wii Balance Board [http://www.nintendo.com/wii/what/accessories/balanceboard] and turned into a raging sex addict as a result.

One fine day, Amanda Flowers, a 24-year-old catering worker from the U.K., was enjoying some healthy activity on her Wii Balance Board. But then she slipped, fell and turned into a nymphomaniac. "Wait," I imagine you're saying right about now. "What?" Well, according to an unnamed doctor, the young Ms. Flowers - who, by the way, is single - suffered some sort of bizarre nerve damage and now just the slightest vibration, "from mobile phones to food processors," has her rarin' to go.

"It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm," she said. "With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me."

There is, in fact, a recognized syndrome called Boing Boing [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistent_genital_arousal_disorder] explains, it's not a lot of fun and being banged into satiation by a "superstud" isn't really the answer.

Nonetheless, the danger presented to women by the Wii Balance Board is clear, so for heaven's sake, ladies, be careful. And spread the word: I've already started the internet petition [http://www.petitiononline.com/sexboard/petition.html] but until we can force Nintendo to act by putting warning labels on these things, everyone - which is to say, everyone with a vagina - is at risk.

Source: The Daily Star [http://www.dailystar.co.uk/posts/view/130756/Nintendo-Wii-made-me-nympho-/]


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Katherine Kerensky

Why, or Why Not?
Mar 27, 2009
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Oh [deity]... I think I am glad not to have a Wii in my home...
Although... my sister may not be safe! I must go to her house and save her!
Really, I can't imagine what it must be like... and I suppose I am glad.
And staying the hell away from Wii Balance Boards.
 

JEBWrench

New member
Apr 23, 2009
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I rather enjoy the article starting off with: "A WOMAN has gone from Nintendo to nympho after a fall from her Wii Fit board turned her into a sex addict."

I understand it's part of the site's style to capitalize in such a fashion, but out of context it sounds like "DUDE! There's a WOMAN playing NINTENDO!"
 

Legion

Were it so easy
Oct 2, 2008
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*Shakes head* from the 'Daily Star' of all tabloids?

That is pretty damn funny though, I imagine any guy she ends up with would love it for the first week, but then would get a bit tired of it.
 

Lord_Panzer

Impractically practical
Feb 6, 2009
1,107
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. . . Is she hot?

Well that certainly is unusual. I should go test this in my lab.
 

jamesworkshop

New member
Sep 3, 2008
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Distorted Stu said:
Does this work with men? >_>
I don't know but I think a lot of women are going to find their husbands buying them a Wii+Wii fit for christmas if the word gets out.
 

lupercal27

New member
Mar 11, 2010
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I to know how to duplicate this? How much power is required in the force to what area of the head? I need to inflict this on my wife!

Damn!
 

Legion

Were it so easy
Oct 2, 2008
7,190
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Le Tueur said:
Err....

[HEADING=2]MAN TRIPS ON XBOX CABLES, BECOMES MASOCHIST.[/HEADING]

Look, I can do it too!
He must have been one already to have bought an Xbox! (I have one, check my profile before hating me).
 

Svenparty

New member
Jan 13, 2009
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*Rushes to Dip balls on the Wii Balance Board hoping for a similar effect*

Lucky woman...
 

khaimera

Perfect Strangers
Jun 23, 2009
1,957
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Anyone notice how happy the guy in the background of the picture looks? Its like he's waiting for something.
 

Simalacrum

Resident Juggler
Apr 17, 2008
5,204
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hmmm...

I think I know what to get my friends (who are girls) for their birthdays...
 

ryo02

New member
Oct 8, 2007
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sounds to me like any fall or knock couldve caused the nerve damage hard to say if it was even the wii that did it in this case either.
 

ssgt splatter

New member
Oct 8, 2008
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Oeeeeewwwwwww-kay, this is pretty random but it made me laugh. So there is a disease/nuerological disorder that makes people sex addicts?...hmm
...
...
*goes to computer, does research on area of brain used for sexual desire, begins drafting 'slave' buisness, plan retirement* :)
 

Tetranitrophenol

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Apr 4, 2010
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This reminds me of a typical Hentai movie plot in which the main heroine becomes hypnotized or spelled by an evil wizard/demon/parasite and is forced to to its "dirty" biddings.