Heh, glad you ended up posting something about the whole RealID thing after all.
To be honest, though, I'm really not sure even your last suggestion would work. I think the entire RealID thing, or any trace of it, is just a wholly bad idea.
Let's assume that Mr. Eponymous Serial Killer, who plays a Mage in World of Warcraft, sees my post on a popular WoW thread explaining why a certain Mage build isn't viable and that people who use it in-game are idiots. Now, in case you couldn't tell from his name (don't know what his parents were thinking there), Mr. Killer isn't entirely "with it". He interprets my post as an invitation to kill me.
I have a fairly unique name, so it probably won't be that tough for him to find out the rest of my information. Using his vast network of serial killer buddies, he uses multiple computers to find my address online.
I'm found dead the next day because I was dishing out too much Mage hate. So it goes. But, the [City where Timbydude lives, which you will never know] Police Department thinks to go to that post and find out who exactly could be the culprit. Unfortunately, tons of people viewed it. Though everyone's real name is up there, it still really doesn't solve the dilemma. They have no idea who, in that sea of names, it could possibly be.
Keep in mind that he could have used public computers or those of friends to do his online searches (or he might know a guy who can get past the system, as would be inevitable), so they could try to track based on whitepages.com searches and the like, but their search would probably be fruitless.
Now, obviously, I'm using an extreme example, but hopefully you get my point. The two demographics of WoW players and 4Chan posters share a greater overlap than might be immediately apparent. Also, keep in mind that the average WoW player is more skilled with internet tools (such as finding out one's address from their name alone) than a lot of other places on the internet. On those forums, there are some seriously messed up people who would have access to your real name were the RealID scenario a reality.
So, basically, short of Big Brother putting tracking chips on everyone to find out where we are at all times (which would obviously be worse because that gives everyone a complete and utter lack of privacy), I really don't think RealID could ever be a truly safe reality for anyone. There are just too many factors that could endanger people, and essentially it would just force everyone with a semi-unique name off the forums entirely.