This Is Why Seducing Vader Is A Bad idea

[vansau]

This Is Why Seducing Vader Is A Bad idea

Search your feelings: You know this isn't going to end well.

If there was one thing to take away from George Lucas's Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (aside from the fact that Jar Jar Binks needs to die in a fire), it was that Anakin Skywalker probably wasn't the healthiest person to be in a relationship with. However, it turns out that Skywalker is apparently even worse to hook up with after he became more machine than man, based on a new series of photos.

The series "Dreaming of the Dark Side" was created by Marc & Louis Photography. The photos show just what happens when a sexy Twi'lek lady tries to seduce Darth Vader and - it looks like - give him a lap dance. Unsurprisingly, the seduction doesn't end well and a hapless Storm Trooper winds up having to clean up the mess.

Honestly, I'm not sure I'm more impressed or creeped out by this photo project. On one hand, the photography and costumes are stylish as Hell. On the other hand, it's about Vader killing a woman who tries to get down his Sithy-y pants.

You can see the full series in the gallery below and judge for yourself. Lord Vader has been a popular subject for photo projects, though the last photo series <a href=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/111584-Photos-Capture-Darth-Vader-On-Sunny-Holiday>showed him on holiday instead of murdering women who were hitting on him.

Source: Geeks Are Sexy

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[Sassafrass]

And on the other hand, here is a reason for men to try and seduce Vader. [http://24flinching.com/word/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/darth_vader_corset.jpg]

 

[Viral_Lola]

Another thing about trying to seduce Vader is that, he's an angry stump of a man.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Is it just me, or in #6 does he look like he's going "YES!" with an arm pump.

 

[antipunt]

So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

Spoiler

seriously

 

[Kapol]

This looks like a deleted scene from Sucker Punch to me. That's mainly based on the last photo though.

 

[GaltarDude1138]

You didn't tell us it was all a dream, man...

Besides, that is probably what would happen. Vader just isn't a people person.

 

[Seventh Actuality]

Darth, dude, I'm trying hard not to hate you, but first you have a chance at Natalie goddamned Portman and blow it, and now this?

 

[Torrasque]

So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

Spoiler

seriously

Heh, he did after all stick his saber into her...
I'm just glad she wasn't dreaming of Chewwy...

 

[godofallu]

The girl wasn't dreaming of BBC, she was dreaming of Vader penetrating her with his lightsaber.

Well whatever helps her sleep at night. I'm not one to judge.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

At least it wasn't a guy in that last shot.

 

[teh_Canape]

So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

Spoiler

seriously

Spoiler

OT: what's up with that chick's head

 

[AstylahAthrys]

You know, it might be because after burning up in a lava pit like he did his "lightsaber" might not be functional. Or present. That would be embarrassing.

 

[antipunt]

So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

Spoiler

seriously

Spoiler

OT: what's up with that chick's head

Wasn't the first time I've been associated with him. This may be problematic...

 

[hermes]

My theory is that Vader wasn't up to the task, and she got killed out of frustration...

 

[BgRdMchne]

I don't understand how the lightsaber can be used as a phallic symbol. If a woman was to, er, have it "inserted", it would cut right through her.

That's a common theme in art (and religion) throughout history. Look at the Ecstasy of St. Theresa.

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying." (From Theresa's autobiography, from Wikipedia)

It sounds to me like she had a sexy/violent dream, awoke, then ascribed religious feelings to it.
Also see Freud.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Seriously? Fanfiction? An article about fanfiction?
Because that's essentially what this is. Granted, it's far more tasteful than most fanfiction on the net, but cmon!

 

[Jodah]

Spoiler

Sums it up pretty well...