25 Things a Perfect Guy Would Do
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I both have the embarrassment(to some) of being almost everything on that list, and the annoyance of listening to people squawking about it as if it's an affront to men everywhere. True, chain letters like this are annoying and perfectionist. Just because someone has high expectations, should we throw them in their faces? Society would actually work if people tried to be the best at what they're dedicated to.
At any rate, 13 15 and 27 are out. 13 I just suck at, 15 I pretend to be mad then pull a prank on her later that even she laughs at, and 27. I've never taken drugs but that's beside the point. I WOULD quit for her if I HAD anything to quit.
At any rate, 13 15 and 27 are out. 13 I just suck at, 15 I pretend to be mad then pull a prank on her later that even she laughs at, and 27. I've never taken drugs but that's beside the point. I WOULD quit for her if I HAD anything to quit.
This is a list for a future spouse beater / passive aggressive, emotionally blackmailing control freak.
P.S. Women don't need the remote as much as men do, don't even go there.
P.S. Women don't need the remote as much as men do, don't even go there.
*wipes face* sorry, i just threw up, all the cutesy was messing with my stomach contents in a bad way
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down- whenever i ask her if something's wrong, she says no. nothing's wrong, so she's not down. problem solved.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice- umm... no, not even going to bother
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence- if she's independant, why does she need me? (sounds harsh, but i'm just calling it how i see it)
4. Give you the remote control during the game- why am i watching sport? those guys picked on me in high school, so fuck 'em
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you- umm... surprise buttsecks?
6. Play with your hair- ok, i'll do that while i'm smelling it
7. His hands always find yours- if i don't know where her hands are, i'm either scared or aroused
8. Be cute when he really wants something- i'm always cute
9. Offer you plenty of massages- is she stressed? she can't be, nothing's wrong (see #1).
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork- never saw any good reason to dance, the dork thing doesn't even get to play a role in the argument
11. Never run out of love- is it like vodka? because if i want more vodka, i buy some, and you can't buy love, so...
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious- if i'm serious, she'll know
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious- if i'm funny, i'll cheer her up (but nothing's wrong anyway, so nevermind)
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready- main reason i bought a DS
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts- so try and act cute when i'm in PAIN? sure, easy done, you abusive *****
16. Smile a lot-
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you-
18. Appreciate you- if she can tell me how, i'll give it a go, but for now i'm just going to send her a card
19. Help others out- what about those girls who like bad boys? there, fucked your list up, didn't i? was this thing written by stephanie meyer, or what?
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1- i don't do long-distance relationships
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching-
22. Sing, even if he can't- no. fuck off, i'm not doing it. you fucking sing.
23. Have a creative sense of humor- done
24. Stare at you- that's just plain fucking creepy when someone does that
25. Call for no reason- then what do we talk about?
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs, just because he loves u that much to quit it- i don't smoke or do drugs, and i don't drink that much anyway. if she doesn't like alcohol, she doesn't have to drink it
there, that's my take on this piece of shit. and for the record, fuck twilight.
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down- whenever i ask her if something's wrong, she says no. nothing's wrong, so she's not down. problem solved.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice- umm... no, not even going to bother
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence- if she's independant, why does she need me? (sounds harsh, but i'm just calling it how i see it)
4. Give you the remote control during the game- why am i watching sport? those guys picked on me in high school, so fuck 'em
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you- umm... surprise buttsecks?
6. Play with your hair- ok, i'll do that while i'm smelling it
7. His hands always find yours- if i don't know where her hands are, i'm either scared or aroused
8. Be cute when he really wants something- i'm always cute
9. Offer you plenty of massages- is she stressed? she can't be, nothing's wrong (see #1).
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork- never saw any good reason to dance, the dork thing doesn't even get to play a role in the argument
11. Never run out of love- is it like vodka? because if i want more vodka, i buy some, and you can't buy love, so...
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious- if i'm serious, she'll know
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious- if i'm funny, i'll cheer her up (but nothing's wrong anyway, so nevermind)
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready- main reason i bought a DS
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts- so try and act cute when i'm in PAIN? sure, easy done, you abusive *****
16. Smile a lot-
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you-
18. Appreciate you- if she can tell me how, i'll give it a go, but for now i'm just going to send her a card
19. Help others out- what about those girls who like bad boys? there, fucked your list up, didn't i? was this thing written by stephanie meyer, or what?
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1- i don't do long-distance relationships
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching-
22. Sing, even if he can't- no. fuck off, i'm not doing it. you fucking sing.
23. Have a creative sense of humor- done
24. Stare at you- that's just plain fucking creepy when someone does that
25. Call for no reason- then what do we talk about?
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs, just because he loves u that much to quit it- i don't smoke or do drugs, and i don't drink that much anyway. if she doesn't like alcohol, she doesn't have to drink it
there, that's my take on this piece of shit. and for the record, fuck twilight.
My own father can't get the remote out of my hand on game day, what makes you think something that has at no point in her life kicked my ass is going to get it?
And the staring thing is creepy, my ex would stare at me while I was sleeping and it would always wake me up paranoid, and that's a mood that sticks with you all day boys and girls.
Seriously, it's really REALLY creepy.
And the staring thing is creepy, my ex would stare at me while I was sleeping and it would always wake me up paranoid, and that's a mood that sticks with you all day boys and girls.
Seriously, it's really REALLY creepy.
This perfect guy sounds like a freak. Honestly, reading the list I was kind of imagining this person, and he sounds pretty creepy. If a guy was always hanging around me, playing with my hair, holding my hand, offering me massages and commenting about not running out of love, I would turn and flee.
Call me old fashioned, but I like my man to be a bit independant, not to mention having free will. The last one about quitting smoking or drugs or whatevs, that's kinda weird. I mean, it's always a good thing to quit those things, but to do it cause you just love someone else so much and they disapprove is creepy. I would quit smoking if my husband asked me to with good reason. I wouldn't be so overcome with love that I just couldn't bear to continue my habit that he didn't approve of. Creepy.
I also like the list of 25 things perfect woman would do, and I have to say I wish I got off that easy. I can list at least four ammendments to it that my huband would make.
12. Don't be funny, just know how to be serious.
13. Realize she wasting too much money on Vogue magazines that could instead be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
22. Sing, if she wants to, and I'm not within earshot. In fact, probably best to wait till I'm out of the house.
19. Don't help others out. That time and money could be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
Sigh, how tragic it is that we can't all be perfect.
Call me old fashioned, but I like my man to be a bit independant, not to mention having free will. The last one about quitting smoking or drugs or whatevs, that's kinda weird. I mean, it's always a good thing to quit those things, but to do it cause you just love someone else so much and they disapprove is creepy. I would quit smoking if my husband asked me to with good reason. I wouldn't be so overcome with love that I just couldn't bear to continue my habit that he didn't approve of. Creepy.
I also like the list of 25 things perfect woman would do, and I have to say I wish I got off that easy. I can list at least four ammendments to it that my huband would make.
12. Don't be funny, just know how to be serious.
13. Realize she wasting too much money on Vogue magazines that could instead be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
22. Sing, if she wants to, and I'm not within earshot. In fact, probably best to wait till I'm out of the house.
19. Don't help others out. That time and money could be spent on Yu-Gi-Oh.
Sigh, how tragic it is that we can't all be perfect.
Well, goodluck with your high standards. For now I'm gunna stick with the internets advice of naked girls with food, since in my experience it's a lot easier to find someone so desperate for attention she'll do whatever I say than it is to find someone actually worth speaking too.Glefistus said:
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.
http://assets.knowyourmeme.com/i/5309/original/doitus4.jpg
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
As long as it doesn't smell like shit, we're cool.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
Yeah I'll stick up for you, but if "respects your independence" means I sit at home playing the same shitty games while you go out clubbing with your friends you can f*** right off, thanks.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
Sure, I'll give you the other controller. Just make sure you shoot the zombies in the heads.
And I'm a Leaf fan, but I don't give enough of a shit to piss you off for them.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Where the hell are my hands supposed to go?
6. Play with your hair.
Sure, as long as you're not one of those scene freaks that puts enough crap in it to give anything that touches it cancer.
7. His hands always find yours.
Sure, I like holding hands...just remember to freaking wash them after you use the toilet.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
I want for nothing. If you want cute I'll give you a Pedobear doll, and while you try to figure out what the hell it is I gave you I'll go back to blasting the heads off of Korean kids who are for freaking sure using Action Replay.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Are your muscles really that achy? What the hell do you do for a living?
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
I don't dance. Make me a sandwich and I'll think about it.
11. Never run out of love.
The only thing more dead than my heart is the retard who just decided to use the left cheek of my ass as a teamkill target. If you want affection from me, you have to earn it with some of your own.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
http://assets.knowyourmeme.com/i/5309/original/doitus4.jpg
Gather from that what you will.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1pZ-xYoB7vc/SNDSchhRaTI/AAAAAAAAARE/WdujN3QPdYI/s400/I_fuckin___love_coloring_by_WhiteSt.jpg
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
As long as I've still got my freaking DS, take as long as you want, just don't complain when you have to wait for me as I cast Firaga on that freaking lich.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
You're asking me to be cute? That freaking mark is still there!
16. Smile a lot.
http://assets.knowyourmeme.com/i/5309/original/doitus4.jpg
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to you.
What can I say? I'm a open minded psycho.
18. Appreciate you.
I officially declare that I appreciate you and your sandwich-making skills.
19. Help others out.
No thanks. Every time I try to help people, it ends badly. Although there's no harm in helping newbies in freaking RuneScape (because I'm that much of a loser).
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
That one hour better be pretty damn good.
(After) I have to go back to the gas station. Again. I had a full f***ing tank. And for the last freaking time if you want me to smell your hair, wash it once in a while.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you
depart from each others company, even when his friends
are watching.
http://th07.deviantart.com/fs37/150/i/2008/265/2/4/Psycho_Bird_by_thayssharumrn.jpg
Are you sure?
22. Sing, even if he can't.
Only if you sing too.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
http://i29.tinypic.com/n1v5ab.png
24. Stare at you.
http://i31.tinypic.com/1w7r8.jpg
(actually me)
25. Call for no reason.
So if you're home alone, who's that masculine voice on the other end, and who's "sexy buns"?
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just
because he loves u that much to quit it.
I'm straight edge. I wouldn't start those for you, either.
http://assets.knowyourmeme.com/i/5309/original/doitus4.jpg
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always
notice.
As long as it doesn't smell like shit, we're cool.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your
independence.
Yeah I'll stick up for you, but if "respects your independence" means I sit at home playing the same shitty games while you go out clubbing with your friends you can f*** right off, thanks.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
Sure, I'll give you the other controller. Just make sure you shoot the zombies in the heads.
And I'm a Leaf fan, but I don't give enough of a shit to piss you off for them.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Where the hell are my hands supposed to go?
6. Play with your hair.
Sure, as long as you're not one of those scene freaks that puts enough crap in it to give anything that touches it cancer.
7. His hands always find yours.
Sure, I like holding hands...just remember to freaking wash them after you use the toilet.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
I want for nothing. If you want cute I'll give you a Pedobear doll, and while you try to figure out what the hell it is I gave you I'll go back to blasting the heads off of Korean kids who are for freaking sure using Action Replay.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
Are your muscles really that achy? What the hell do you do for a living?
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
I don't dance. Make me a sandwich and I'll think about it.
11. Never run out of love.
The only thing more dead than my heart is the retard who just decided to use the left cheek of my ass as a teamkill target. If you want affection from me, you have to earn it with some of your own.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
http://assets.knowyourmeme.com/i/5309/original/doitus4.jpg
Gather from that what you will.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be
serious.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1pZ-xYoB7vc/SNDSchhRaTI/AAAAAAAAARE/WdujN3QPdYI/s400/I_fuckin___love_coloring_by_WhiteSt.jpg
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
As long as I've still got my freaking DS, take as long as you want, just don't complain when you have to wait for me as I cast Firaga on that freaking lich.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually
hurts.
You're asking me to be cute? That freaking mark is still there!
16. Smile a lot.
http://assets.knowyourmeme.com/i/5309/original/doitus4.jpg
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he
wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it
means a lot to you.
What can I say? I'm a open minded psycho.
18. Appreciate you.
I officially declare that I appreciate you and your sandwich-making skills.
19. Help others out.
No thanks. Every time I try to help people, it ends badly. Although there's no harm in helping newbies in freaking RuneScape (because I'm that much of a loser).
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
That one hour better be pretty damn good.
(After) I have to go back to the gas station. Again. I had a full f***ing tank. And for the last freaking time if you want me to smell your hair, wash it once in a while.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you
depart from each others company, even when his friends
are watching.
http://th07.deviantart.com/fs37/150/i/2008/265/2/4/Psycho_Bird_by_thayssharumrn.jpg
Are you sure?
22. Sing, even if he can't.
Only if you sing too.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
http://i29.tinypic.com/n1v5ab.png
24. Stare at you.
http://i31.tinypic.com/1w7r8.jpg
(actually me)
25. Call for no reason.
So if you're home alone, who's that masculine voice on the other end, and who's "sexy buns"?
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just
because he loves u that much to quit it.
I'm straight edge. I wouldn't start those for you, either.
Actually, it is bullshit. I actually did all of those things and I still got dumped.Simriel said: