Prison Escapee Continues to Update Facebook

Tom Goldman

Crying on the inside.
Aug 17, 2009
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Prison Escapee Continues to Update Facebook



The first thing on this escaped convict's mind is to make himself as known as possible through Facebook, even while he's evading police.

If I was to ever escape from this prison that I write news from, my primary goal would be to stay off the grid until I could prove that I was framed in that marshmallow incident years ago. To the contrary, staying off the grid is exactly what escaped convict Craig "Lazie" Lynch is not doing. He was able to elude his captors at Hollesley Bay, an open prison near Suffolk in eastern England, back in September, and has been constantly updating his Facebook page [http://www.facebook.com/#/pages/Craig-Lazie-Lynch/243291243273] ever since.

As with anything like this, there's the possibility that it's a fake, but this seems unlikely. What's more likely is that Lynch really is this dumb. According to BBC News [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/suffolk/8426802.stm], the 28-year old idiot was serving 7 years in prison for aggravated burglary and was in an open prison because he was near the end of his sentence, where day release was allowed. Day release doesn't seem like such a great idea in this case.

Lynch's updates range from completely moronic to somewhat foolish, including the recent "I'M NOT ANTI POLICE, I JUST HATE THE C*NTS." What a charming young man. Even Lynch feels that "Myspace is lame..." (the only reasonable thing he's posted) and he says he's still "Trying to figure out my plans for New Years. I know what I want to do but its not that easy." How about going back to jail and finishing your sentence you dope?

Humanity has again failed in this case, with some people actually supporting Lynch's escapades by wishing him luck and such. As of this writing, his Facebook page had over 27,000 fans. I think I want to cry.

Police are working with Facebook to see if they can pinpoint where Lynch is located, but it isn't getting any easier now that he knows they're on to him. What most likely will happen is that someone will recognize Lynch through Facebook as this story makes its rounds, which would be awesome. If you know Lynch, contact Suffolk police and get this irrelevant doofus put back where he belongs. I really hate this guy.

(Via: cnet [http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10422160-71.html])

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Katherine Kerensky

Why, or Why Not?
Mar 27, 2009
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Well, I suppose that's one way to speed up your re-capture.
*Readies a net* Oh, I'm not in Suffolk. *puts net away*
 

TheYellowCellPhone

New member
Sep 26, 2009
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Do not worry, Captain Unintelliegence has a Facebook...

If he was so close to leaving prison, why would he escape, he's probably going to get more time.
And why make a Facebook page that could possibly tell your location...

...Is it too much to ask for a link :p ?
 
Feb 13, 2008
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If ever there was a damning inditement on celebrities, bureaucracy and social websites, he would be the posterchild.

What makes me super-sad is that Facebook aren't working with the Police, a simple IP check followed by an ISP followup would give you where the idiot is.
 

TarkXT

New member
Sep 7, 2009
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I actually find this guy hilarious. He's stupid, belligerent, nonsensical and ultimately going to get kicked in the head for "resisting arrest" but he is doing something most of us have wanted to do at least once in our lives sitting on the side of the road wondering why with all the other people going over the speed limit around you you ended up being the one that was singled out.

Personally I kind of want the guy to get away. I know that ultimately that won't happen and won't shed a single tear if it does but when you think about it what he's doing now is relatively harmless. Giving the finger to the cops and basically taunting them isn't the same as some of the really nasty things that get done to them on a regular basis. Since he was getting ready to leave anyway I'd basically cut the search for him off to the most passive glances at his facebook and tell nobody. Let him sit there and worry that the next car that pulls him over is going to be the one that takes him back to prison. Let him try and hook up with chicks over the internet fearing that it's the fuzz trying to nab him. Sooner or later he'll either mess up or he'll disappear completely both of which would have happened anyway when he was released. As it stands a lot of money is being wasted on a man who is essentially just a loud mouthed braggard going "HA HA! I escaped from your easily escapeable prison with my immaculate genius! Eat me!"
 

GamerLuck

Questionably Opinionated
Jul 13, 2009
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Is this more a testament to how stupid this guy is or of how under-supplied the police are? Shouldn't they have been able to trace this sooner without letting the guy know they were on to him? Admittedly I am no expert on this stuff, but one would figure it cant be THAT hard....

Also, this makes me think one other thing? What ever happened to Metal Gear Solid box prisoner, the one that Escapist reported on a few months back?

EDIT: this guy http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/94596-Prisoner-Uses-Metal-Gears-Cardboard-Box-to-Escape
 

Lord George

New member
Aug 25, 2008
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This is quite hilarious and essentially harmless, I'd imagine the reason he hasn't been caught yet is due to the police not being very bothered with some small time crook who got away when his sentence was basically over, the force seems underfunded and overworked as it is, though with all the attention and interest he's attracting they'll probably crack down on him sooner or later.
 

DarkSaber

New member
Dec 22, 2007
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I think I'll go join his FB page too, just to piss of the articles author. He comes across as a right prick.
 

TitsMcGee1804

New member
Dec 24, 2008
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CaptainCrunch said:

[QUOTE=Sheriff John Bunnel]An escaped prisoner is on the run from the police. Miraculously, he finds time to keep his Facebook page updated. A picture, found on the site finally leads police to his hideout. The next photo update on his page is going to be a mug shot - from jail.[/QUOTE][/quote]

rofl....the worse thing is, this is ACTUALLY what he would say

unless that is a genuine quote
 

julesville

New member
Jan 25, 2008
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Are you people kidding? The idiots in this story are the police and the British penal system, not the facebook guy.

One day the guy just seemed to walk out of prison and no one knows where to find him despite his near constant contact with his former incarceraters and the rest of the planet, and the only way the cops seem to be able to find him is to contact facebook, a multi-national organization with millions of users in the hope of pinpointing the location of ONE user, which is probably fucking impossible. Why would Facebook even give a fuck. How could they even give a fuck, how do you pinpoint someone through facebook? AND HE'S STILL FREE!!

How is it you guys think he's dumb. He escaped prison and then flips the prison system the bird everyday, and he's been doing it for 4 months.

This guy is not stupid, or at least, not the stupidest person on the case. For shame England, for shame.
 

Cryo84R

Gentleman Bastard.
Jun 27, 2009
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FirstToStrike said:
I was surprised that this didn't come out of America, I'm not anti country, just think that people that come from america are idiots, like that woman who called 911 because McDonalds was out of Chicken McNuggets.
Racist ass.
 

GamingAwesome1

New member
May 22, 2009
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When you thought people couldn't get any stupider.....

Stupid people are funny! Also people fan and support this crap? He's an escaped convict you fucking retards!