Breaking Up the Facebook Way

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Breaking Up the Facebook Way


Nearly 25 percent of Facebook [http://www.facebook.com] users have been dumped through the site, a recent survey has found, and just about as many said that if the time came, they'd do the same thing to their significant others.

Breaking up is hard to do, unless you do it on Facebook, that is. In that case, it seems pretty simple: Change your relationship status to "single" and stop answering the phone for a few days. It sounds greasy but according to a survey conducted by Are You Interested? [http://www.snap-interactive.com/] dating site on Facebook, it's also a surprisingly popular method of cutting ties.

A survey of 1000 Facebook users, self-reporting as 70 percent male and 30 percent female, found that nearly one-quarter had discovered that a past relationship had come to a screeching halt thanks to a Facebook status update. Furthermore, nearly 21 percent said they'd do the same thing themselves and dump someone by changing their status to "single" and waiting for the news to trickle down.

Facebook is also a useful tool for those who don't want to break up but aren't really interested in going out for the traditional Wednesday night beer and bowling, either. Almost 40 percent of respondents admit to having informed their partners that they have other plans for the evening through their Facebook page and 35 percent have said they've done it even when they in fact had no plans at all.

If I was smarter, I'd make some kind of pointed comment about the irony of Facebook, which is ostensibly meant to bring people together, being such an effective tool for (relatively) pain-free breakups. Instead, I'll just quote Snap Interactive CEO Clifford Lerner, who wrote, "Facebook can be a wonderful tool to manipulate a person's image for dating purposes as well as providing an easy way out when it comes to doing the dirty work."

I can't imagine ever doing something like this through a social network, but I'm also old and frightened of new things that I don't understand. So how about it, kids? Have you ever cut someone loose with a status change?

Source: VentureBeat [http://venturebeat.com/2010/06/15/facebook-breakups/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+venturebeat-digitalmedia+%28VentureBeat+%C2%BB+DigitalMedia%29]


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Deofuta

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Nov 10, 2009
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Wow, if I had to worry I'd be broken up via facebook, odds are she wasn't that important to me anyway.
 

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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I didn't, but my current girlfriend had to do that to the boy she broke up with to be with me. He was avoiding calls and such. He saw it coming. He probably realized the whole "lying" thing was a bad idea :p
 

oppp7

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Aug 29, 2009
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If I broke up with someone, I'd try not to be so impersonal about it.
 

Samurai Goomba

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Oct 7, 2008
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That's so lame. It's like, the more technology advances the easier it is for gutless people to break relationships off.

Be honest and direct-face to face is the first choice. If that doesn't work, phone. If not that, email or text. If everything else fails, THEN FB.

The exception to this rule being ZeroMachine's example of somebody who intentionally cuts his or herself off so as to avoid a breakup by not being reachable.
 

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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Samurai Goomba said:
That's so lame. It's like, the more technology advances the easier it is for gutless people to break relationships off.

Be honest and direct-face to face is the first choice. If that doesn't work, phone. If not that, email or text. If everything else fails, THEN FB.

The exception to this rule being ZeroMachine's example of somebody who intentionally cuts his or herself off so as to avoid a breakup by not being reachable.
I agree with this almost completely... I put MySpace a little lower on the food chain than Facebook, and being Tweeted "we're through" is probably the worst XD
 

Kuchinawa212

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Apr 23, 2009
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oppp7 said:
If I broke up with someone, I'd try not to be so impersonal about it.
But with all the fun of having everyone on facebook see it written on your wall.

Greaaaaaat. You get the worse of both. You don't get it face to face, and everyone knows the next day
 

Jandau

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Dec 19, 2008
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Dumping another person over mail, SMS, Facebook or any such method is proof that that individual is a spineless worm. Man up (or woman up, I guess) and do it to the other person's face. That's the least you can do...
 

hamster mk 4

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Apr 29, 2008
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On a less depressing note I found out two of my friends were getting married when they chainged their relationship status to engaged. I would have prefered to hear it in person or through the phone.
 

oppp7

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Kuchinawa212 said:
oppp7 said:
If I broke up with someone, I'd try not to be so impersonal about it.
But with all the fun of having everyone on facebook see it written on your wall.

Greaaaaaat. You get the worse of both. You don't get it face to face, and everyone knows the next day
Why would I care if other people see/know it? They'd find out anyways.
 

quiet_samurai

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Apr 24, 2009
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I think people who do this are Grad-A Wuss material. I asked a girl out from my work the other day, we used to work the same schedules and recently I moved to a much earlier shift. I actually made a trip to work on my free time hours after I already left to do so in person. Doing something like this, whether it's to begin or end a relationship, in a face to face conversation says alot about a person.

She said no by the way. Well, she said "yes but only as friends" And I feel no differently about her or myself after the fact. She even said she liked that I did it in person and not facebook.
 

Sennz0r

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May 25, 2008
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Hell no, that's the coward's way out. Even if my hypothetical(sadface) girlfriend was avoiding my calls or not answering the door I would first text her to set up a meeting, and if she wouldn't respond to that I'd break her with her through text/voicemail. It's not worth 2 to 3 weeks of hassle if she's avoiding me, but the relationship wouldn't have been so meaningless that I would just alter a relationship status and never speak a word to her.

Yes but what if she's been a ***** and she had it coming? I ask myself since I want to give an answer to that question.
Well, even then I would rather break up with her face to face so I could make her feel more guilty. In a case like that she wouldn't be getting off as easily as just checking the Facebook status updates, breathing a sigh of relief and start messaging some other guy she thinks is hot without zero repercussions.
 

runnernda

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Feb 8, 2010
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As much as I hate hurting people's feelings, I would never break up with someone via Facebook. I did break up with someone partially because of something related to Facebook, though. He wouldn't take the "Single" off his profile while we were dating...because he didn't want to hurt his ex-girlfriend's feelings. Having the Single on there didn't bother me so much as his reasoning.
 

Kasawd

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Jun 1, 2009
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Facebook is an excellent tool for social co-ordination. If I want to throw a party(Rarely happens but I do on occasion), Facebook is the easiest method of organisation.

BAM! - EVENT

Of course, using it for these purposes seems rather cowardly. Also, some folk take their usage too far but that applies to everything of quality.
 
Apr 28, 2008
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This is why I don't have a Cell Phone or Facebook.

If you want to break up with me, or vice versa, I do it face-to-face.
Doing online or through texting just seems like a massive dick move.
 

SilverUchiha

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Dec 25, 2008
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This is just depressing. I've been broken up with through phone calls and text and I honestly would have appreciated it if the people had taken their time to come to me in person. At least then I would have felt like the relationships mattered a bit. Instead, it just came off like I was wasting both their time and mine.
 

Limzz

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Apr 16, 2010
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That's pretty cold to break up with someone on Facebook... Me and my gf aren't even "Facebook official" and her friend got really worried and thought we had broken up lol.
 

Slaanax

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Oct 28, 2009
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I'd never break up with anyone with out face to face interaction, except for extreme crazies or unpreventable circumstances.