A cult forms around you. How do you react?

[Dead Seerius]

There are WAAAAY too many people on this post who would be willing to throw away the opportunity of a lifetime because it makes them feel uncomfortable.

"Your God requires offerings! I request a shrubbery Lamborghini!"

Plus I could enforce a unique cult dress-code. Everyone wears cardboard 12-pack drink cases as hats. And crazy socks. Can't forget those.

 

[waj9876]

I would separate about two hundred of them from the rest, separate that group in half, and tell one side to go out and research immortality in a scientific way. And the other half to research immortality in a mysticism way. If nothing can be done, I have them pool their efforts into one big project that combines science and magic, for the single goal of getting me, and my trusted lieutenants, immortality. (Though I may give my lieutenants a weaker version, where while they won't age, if they are killed physically, they can still die. I may consider giving them better resistance to damage than is humanly possible though. And I may allow my normal servants to live up to half a millennium. Only if they prove hard working. If only because it is such a chore to find good help.)

I would have one hundred of the three hundred that are left as my personal servants. For now, and I would send the other two hundred out converting others to my cause. If I gain immortality, and the process of conversion is slow, I shall demonstrate it. It can only help.

I would then go to TVTropes, copy and paste every page having to do with the "Evil Overlord List," have it set up in an easy to follow guideline, and make as much use of it as possible. As I would totally be an evil overlord. Hopefully with immortality. (Parts about harems and such may be ignored, if I so still wish, once all that power and evil laughing have gone to my head.)

Edit: I would have NO CHILDREN. If I must get rid of desires the old natural way, I shall make absolutely sure nothing can come from it. I don't want my followers defecting to my child, or them trying to overthrow their old man one day. I want to have my immortality and power as long as possible. Forever if I can.

 

[Sixcess]

I'd use the hot ones for sex, the rich ones for money, the influential ones for political and legal protection when the sex and money gets out of control, and the rest for suicidal attacks on my enemies should the sex, money, politics and criminality get really out of control.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

I get uncomfortable with the whole 'forum celebrity' thing around here as it is, having a cult form around me would probably make me have an aneurysm.

O Praised be Clarion, our Daily Star!

He hath spoken!

Obey his every word, cherish his name in silence, but do not openly refer to his followers as cult!

His Word is the Law!

All Hail Clarion, the Daystar!

 

[Xdeser2]

I would tell them to stop chanting about me and to get the fuck off my lawn *While standing outside the front door swinging my old man cane in the air above my head*

 

[Sacman]

Well, it looks like my grandma is gonna get a lot of free house work done...<.>

I dunno I'd probably ust ask them to help with laundry and cook me the occasional meal... I'm not really a big ideas kind of guy...

 

[Gitty101]

Demand tribute to buy myself a new desktop, ask them whether to stick with Windows 7 or move to 8. After that was sorted I would then set to work writing the new holy book. I've got radical ideas that I believe a group of crazies can implement quite beautifully.

 

[CommanderL]

well first I woul....

I'd use the hot ones for sex, the rich ones for money, the influential ones for political and legal protection when the sex and money gets out of control, and the rest for suicidal attacks on my enemies should the sex, money, politics and criminality get really out of control.

Fucking ninja I was going to use that for my cult

 

[bz316]

Initial reaction? The following words:

"Where's my cut?"

 

[War Penguin]

[HEADING=1]BOW DOWN MOTHAFUCKAS!!![/HEADING]

OT: The moral side of me would say that I'd do what I could to disband that cult. But the harsh reality is that the power would go straight to my head and I'd have that exact mentality above. Not that I'd mind, though. I mean, I got 500 fuck'n people listening to every word I say! I got it made!

 

[Souplex]

I don't have enough cultists, so more is always good.

 

[Starik20X6]

I'd be torn between trying to correct them, or exploiting their delusions for the betterment of mankind. Would it be better for the world for them to be shown the truth, or better to use their undying faith to power positive social change?

I get uncomfortable with the whole 'forum celebrity' thing around here as it is, having a cult form around me would probably make me have an aneurysm.

O Praised be Clarion, our Daily Star!

He hath spoken!

Obey his every word, cherish his name in silence, but do not openly refer to his followers as cult!

His Word is the Law!

All Hail Clarion, the Daystar!

Right, listen 'ere you: 'E's not the messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy!

 

[Kotaro]

First I'd try to get them to stop, since in my life I emphasize rational thought and logic, so religious stuff as a whole just makes me slightly uncomfortable.
But if they continued, I'd just go "what the hell" and use my newfound followers to spread my moral philosophy, which really just boils down to "Be a reasonable, decent human being."

 

[Akytalusia]

probably make a point to slap each and every one of them for being idiots and tell them to go home.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Spoiler: THE ORDER OF THE LEECH IS REBORN!!

In high school, I had tried to start my own cult which I called The Order of the Leech. I had two followers and we lasted for about a week. No sex was had, nor were there any suicide pacts which I guess completely missed the point of what a cult is meant for.

Anyway, I don't see this cult lasting long either since I would just do the usual cult-leader thing. I would demand cash and world possessions from my followers and certain ones (ie: hand-picked females aged 18 and up) will be used in the DID website I set up (Damsels in Success because Mario Party 8 gave me that idea). I don't see this cult lasting long at all but the website...will last up until people realize they're paying for clothes-on cheesecake.

 

[felbot]

are they any hot? because I don't like being a virgin, it sucks, i mean sure i can try to claim to be a paladin but i don't think they would take me in anyway.

if not i could probably just collect money from them all retire at the weird age of 16, that would be awesome.

 

[game-lover]

I think I'd have to disband it immediately.

Nothing good could really come from having a cult. I'm certain of it.

 

[Vuliev]

Renegade for life. The sacrifice of 500 people is a price I will gladly pay if it means I have a chance to get the world on to the right track. First thing on my agenda: having the more intelligent of my followers immediately start working on psychohistory.