A Genie comes to you and gives you three wishes. What do you wish for?

[Tayh]

If I had three wishes, I would wish that:
-Hitler lost the war
-We made it to space
-The alien invasion never happened

 

[Alfredo Jones]

1: Immortality. If possible, I will try to have it so I can't feel pain but still have full control of my other feelings and emotions. Also the ability to shift how young or old I look at will would be helpful.

2: World peace. Might as well throw at least one selfless wish in there.

3: If the genie can be freed and isn't an asshole who will go on a rampage, then I'll use my last wish to free him. If not then I'll probably use my last wish for some sort of kickass superpowers. I'm thinking the ability to control light and darkness, that could have some cool applications.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

1. Never have to worry about money ever again.
2. Perfect memory recall
3. End corporate greed.

 

[pookie101]

I wish that I could wish for more wishes

and then I would wish for more wishes

enjoy your time loop hahaha

 

[THE_JOKE_KING33]

1. Give me Omnipotence without Omniscience (basically all of the power without the need to know everything past, present, and future (cause that's boring)).

Now that I can do everything/anything I want I'll ask the genie what he wants to use the last two.

 

[Majestic_Manatee]

I wish people would stop shifting all responsibility for their actions onto me.

 

[stroopwafel]

I wish people would stop shifting all responsibility for their actions onto me.

That wouldn't have been necessary if you'd done a better job! You probably shouldn't have rushed everything in just seven days.

 

[Majestic_Manatee]

That wouldn't have been necessary if you'd done a better job! You probably shouldn't have rushed everything in just seven days.

Dont believe everything you read in the scripts. They're ancient holy tabloids with narratives to push.

 

[stroopwafel]

That wouldn't have been necessary if you'd done a better job! You probably shouldn't have rushed everything in just seven days.

Dont believe everything you read in the scripts. They're ancient holy tabloids with narratives to push.

That explains the plotholes. JHWH is a total retcon.

 

[Yoopikayay]

Shapeshifting lol

Longevity for my entire bloodline/ family

And i either hold onto the last wish or ask for a more motivational outlook on life

 

[Kotaro]

1. Curing my Crohn's disease. It's not fatal as long as I keep it medicated, but it is unpleasant and I'd rather not be dealing with it.
2. Wealth. Not for any lifestyle changes or anything, just to make sure I have security. And so I can afford to buy gifts for people around the holidays without needing to make a spreadsheet to determine how I'm going to pay for them.
3. Elizabeth Warren & Rosa DeLauro winning the next US Presidential election. I've often said that in a perfect world, that would be my ideal Democratic ticket and it would be nice to see it happen.

 

[Mechamorph]

Since I am a student of the classics, whatever my first two wishes are, my third wish is for the genie to get back into the darned lamp. Suleiman's bindings on the Jinn set them free after they grant those three wishes.

My first two would be those already noted by SpringHeelJack.

1) To gain simultaneously the powers, skills and abilities of any given five fictional characters at any one time with all the necessary prerequisites to use them to their full potential. This should be more than sufficient for me to fix any problems with anyone or anything I feel like. Want to cure cancer? Use Reed Richard's intelligence. Want to reform the government to be benevolent? Not difficult with the charisma of Fate/Stay Night's Gilgamesh. This also includes the powers of fictional genies... Not to mention being a 60th level D&D wizard capable of casting the Wish spell. What? I can make fictional characters too can't I?

2) To be able to travel to any fictional universe as a fully realized world and that while I am there, no one in any other universe can learn about what I did there as well as no time passing in my "home" world. This prevents the monkey's paw logic bomb of the fictional universe becoming part of a factual accounting of my adventures. Also it allows me to live a normal life (if I so choose) and go on sojourns without much consequence.

 

[Callate]

1. All members of my family, myself included, to live in perfect health for as long as they choose.

2. The ability to win any argument.

3. Success in all endeavors I choose to undertake.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I want to change my 3rd wish. I wish ignorance, hatred, and bigotry didn't exist.

 

[Padwolf]

Well.....

1) Wealth

2) That wealth be protected and cannot be lost throughout my entire bloodline/family

3) One massive dog hotel where every single dog that is about to or has been hurt will just magical poof away and to my dog hotel. And a cat hotel and... oh just one hotel each for every kind of animal, along with the staff and means to upkeep them.

 

[Schadrach]

Finally, probably the ability to heal anything. I don't mean for myself (although I would throw that in), but for other people. Lost your arm or leg in an explosion? I can restore it. Terminal disease? Gone. Metal disorder? Healed.
I would, of course, charge for this service not because I need the money, but because I would have the money used to help others. And it would greatly depend on the type of person asking to be healed. A little boy, with his parents at their wits end trying to cover his cancer treatment? Ten bucks. A millionaire who has spent his entire life stepping on other people and just being jerk? I'll take 80% of your entire value, thank you. Am I now playing God? You bet, but it's my wish, and since I already have enough money that I don't need to worry about it, I won't have to worry about getting greedy and will stick to using that money to help others.

https://qntm.org/jesus

Don't *be* the Jesus machine, it really won't end the way you'd like.

 

[Schadrach]

Well.....

1) Wealth

2) That wealth be protected and cannot be lost throughout my entire bloodline/family

3) One massive dog hotel where every single dog that is about to or has been hurt will just magical poof away and to my dog hotel. And a cat hotel and... oh just one hotel each for every kind of animal, along with the staff and means to upkeep them.

Hmm, does that mean the rabbit hotel causes the starvation of a great number of predators, who since no one was hurting them would simply die. Also, thanks for forcing the entire world to go vegetarian.

Also, the human hotel is going to be filled with a lot of very confused masochists that keep getting teleported to different rooms...

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

Is World Peace an option?

Fuck it, I will stick to selfish desires, cause thats what people want to hear, isnt it?

Immortality (Duh)

Perfect appearance to my preference (Want to look good for the being immortal and what not)

No longer having anxiety disorders. Sure, maybe being immortal and beautiful will make that wish a waste, but better play it safe, right?

Immortality is a classic mistake. In the short term you get to watch everyone you will ever care about grow old and die until you become completely emotionally numb. In the medium term humanity either dies out or evolves to a point where they will have less in common with you biologically and mentally than we today would have in common with an immortal Homo habilis. In the long term you will drift in total darkness, frozen but unable to die, for eons as the universe slowly decays towards it's eventual heat death, because our universe, unlike you, is mortal. If you're lucky time might stop eventually.

A retort for the short and medium terms.

First wish, the religion of Islam never existed.

Second wish, the theory of communism/socialism never existed.

Third wish, a Coke.

You're welcome, hundreds of millions of people who are now alive because they weren't killed by those awful things.

One change I'd make to that first one. Have all humans born knowing what religion is actually the right one. Bam. So many questions now dealt with.

As for my wishes, infinite wealth, eternal youth, and for waifu/husbandu bots that DON'T fall into the uncanny valley to exist and be easily affordable for all.

Failing that last one, since it could probably constitute two wishes, another Genie so I can get that last one, and should both genies be amicable types wish for their freedom with the last one.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Infinite genies. Or possibly wish for the genie to forget that every following wish is not the first wish.

After that... A 12 inch pianist?

Or maybe immortality.

And the ability to create new universes and travel to them. Oh look, I didn't even need the extra wishes.

 

[Auron225]

1) More genies
2) ???
3) PROFIT