A Genie comes to you and gives you three wishes. What do you wish for?

[Padwolf]

Well.....

1) Wealth

2) That wealth be protected and cannot be lost throughout my entire bloodline/family

3) One massive dog hotel where every single dog that is about to or has been hurt will just magical poof away and to my dog hotel. And a cat hotel and... oh just one hotel each for every kind of animal, along with the staff and means to upkeep them.

 

[Schadrach]

Finally, probably the ability to heal anything. I don't mean for myself (although I would throw that in), but for other people. Lost your arm or leg in an explosion? I can restore it. Terminal disease? Gone. Metal disorder? Healed.
I would, of course, charge for this service not because I need the money, but because I would have the money used to help others. And it would greatly depend on the type of person asking to be healed. A little boy, with his parents at their wits end trying to cover his cancer treatment? Ten bucks. A millionaire who has spent his entire life stepping on other people and just being jerk? I'll take 80% of your entire value, thank you. Am I now playing God? You bet, but it's my wish, and since I already have enough money that I don't need to worry about it, I won't have to worry about getting greedy and will stick to using that money to help others.

https://qntm.org/jesus

Don't *be* the Jesus machine, it really won't end the way you'd like.

 

[Schadrach]

Well.....

1) Wealth

2) That wealth be protected and cannot be lost throughout my entire bloodline/family

3) One massive dog hotel where every single dog that is about to or has been hurt will just magical poof away and to my dog hotel. And a cat hotel and... oh just one hotel each for every kind of animal, along with the staff and means to upkeep them.

Hmm, does that mean the rabbit hotel causes the starvation of a great number of predators, who since no one was hurting them would simply die. Also, thanks for forcing the entire world to go vegetarian.

Also, the human hotel is going to be filled with a lot of very confused masochists that keep getting teleported to different rooms...

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

Is World Peace an option?

Fuck it, I will stick to selfish desires, cause thats what people want to hear, isnt it?

Immortality (Duh)

Perfect appearance to my preference (Want to look good for the being immortal and what not)

No longer having anxiety disorders. Sure, maybe being immortal and beautiful will make that wish a waste, but better play it safe, right?

Immortality is a classic mistake. In the short term you get to watch everyone you will ever care about grow old and die until you become completely emotionally numb. In the medium term humanity either dies out or evolves to a point where they will have less in common with you biologically and mentally than we today would have in common with an immortal Homo habilis. In the long term you will drift in total darkness, frozen but unable to die, for eons as the universe slowly decays towards it's eventual heat death, because our universe, unlike you, is mortal. If you're lucky time might stop eventually.

A retort for the short and medium terms.

First wish, the religion of Islam never existed.

Second wish, the theory of communism/socialism never existed.

Third wish, a Coke.

You're welcome, hundreds of millions of people who are now alive because they weren't killed by those awful things.

One change I'd make to that first one. Have all humans born knowing what religion is actually the right one. Bam. So many questions now dealt with.

As for my wishes, infinite wealth, eternal youth, and for waifu/husbandu bots that DON'T fall into the uncanny valley to exist and be easily affordable for all.

Failing that last one, since it could probably constitute two wishes, another Genie so I can get that last one, and should both genies be amicable types wish for their freedom with the last one.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Infinite genies. Or possibly wish for the genie to forget that every following wish is not the first wish.

After that... A 12 inch pianist?

Or maybe immortality.

And the ability to create new universes and travel to them. Oh look, I didn't even need the extra wishes.

 

[Auron225]

1) More genies
2) ???
3) PROFIT

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

1. For humanity to enter a golden age of scientific, cultural and social progress culminating in an interstellar empire filled woth earth-like terraformed worlds.

2. Help humans perfect and tailor their bodies by creating a genetics based panacea machine.

3. To be essentially "unclip" from time Slaughterhouse 5 style and posses and control different sentient creatures thoughout spacetime at will, including my own past and future selves.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I wished-

1- The genine to have the same mindset as my.
Yes that is a waste of a wish but if media dictation of genine taught me anything (X-File, Fairy Odd Parent and the Wishmaster etc), Genine will take your wish "literally" or interpreted like eg in the X-Files, Mulder wish for "world peace" which the genie made everyone dissapear and thus "peace" and quiet!
Hopefully this means the next wish I make, the genie understood what I mean from the wish I had made!

2- ???

3- I wish the genie in front of me is free! What? It's the only noble thing to do!

Yes I left wish 2 as ??? intentionally as I really don't know what to do with it.
I mean I could be selfish with the usual wish for being rich but consider how messed up the world is right now, maybe wishing for a better world would suffice?
"Better" is a vague word which maybe would wish everyone understand each other better or shown more empathy would leave to world peace or maybe wishing for the poors/ low income/ actually everyone except for the wealthy to have more money?
Granted I have a feeling with the latter, they will just make the spending and cost more expensive and thus back to square 1.

 

[Padwolf]

Hmm, does that mean the rabbit hotel causes the starvation of a great number of predators, who since no one was hurting them would simply die. Also, thanks for forcing the entire world to go vegetarian.

Also, the human hotel is going to be filled with a lot of very confused masochists that keep getting teleported to different rooms...

Oh no, I mainly mean pet animals who are about to be beaten by humans, I don't want to upset the full balance of the world. Besides, ain't no one gonna take ma bacon from me!

 

[Mr Companion]

1: Either me or the entire human race to become genius (which I'd regret)
2: Perfect health (to fix my keratoconus and chronic excmer)
3: Schematics to the perfect spaceship

 

[Guffe]

World peace
All diseases cured/vanish
Infinite money for me

So 2 good things and one selfless, althou the infinte money can of course be used to feed and house the poor etc...

 

[pookie101]

I wish that I could wish for more wishes

and then I would wish for more wishes

enjoy your time loop hahaha

fine

just give me a sandwich then

i was nice you are the only persons wishes i fucked with in this entire thread

 

[Wrex Brogan]

1. Infinite Resources. Money, parts, chemicals... you name it, I've got access to it (and when I've got access to it it's always in a really safe container, just to the Genie can't fuck me over with 'here's 8000 pounds of highly radioactive Uranium')
2. The ability to do anything perfectly (either through skill and ability, or through construction of a machine to do so)
3. For a 16-pound, flying, disembodied talking penis to follow whichever politician I don't like the most at the time, constantly making snide comments that irritate them as much as possible. The penis is also invisible to everyone else and always shows up at the most inopportune moments.

So the first two focus on practicality, the third one on my own personal amusement. Everything works.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

1) Immortality of the 'eternal youth in perfect health and peak physical condition' variety, topped off with invulnerability, for as long as I want it.
2) Professor Xavier level mind powers.
3) For the rest of the world to now and forever accept the effects of my wishes as if it aint no thing and it always has been.

The first will allow me me to use (and abuse if need be) the second without fear for my own well-being so long as I desire it. The third ensures the sudden change to myself and anything resulting from it does not raise unwanted attention.

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

1. I get to have the physique and athleticity of Geralt of Rivia (minus all the scars) as long as I go on a jog at least three times a week, because removing all struggle from physical health is boooooring

2. I get a dispenser that gives me a one time sum of 20 million euros (to fund the remake of The Vision of Escaflowne, with 36 episodes as originally intended, with the original creators and cast, as well as several other philanthropist fantasies) and after that, let's say, 500 000 euros once a year: enough for me to enjoy life to the fullest, help those in need and around me, and make investments for the future, but not too much for me to become a deluded hedonist who pisses away money.

3. I'll put this one on hold for the time I really need it.

All of the above rests on the assumption that the genie giving me the wishes isn't this guy [https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oG_PegzpUj0/maxresdefault.jpg]. If it is, I'll just wish he'll never contact or come across me again in any way, directly or indirectly, in reality or in dreams, via an intermediary or messenger, anywhere, anytime, under any conditions.

 

[McMarbles]

I don't know what the other two wishes would be, but wish #1 would definitely be for no ironic consequences to any of my wishes. I got your number, genies.

 

[deadish]

I will wish to be a omnipotent and selectively omnipresent god.

Won't be needing the other 2 wishes.

 

[Misterian]

1.) world peace

2.) FTL space travel being invented

3.) a VR device that allows me to explore and interact with any fictional world I choose.