A heartfelt plea from Australia to America

[ShadowsofHope]

..People listen to Oprah Winfrey? I mean, people with some semblance of individuality still intact..?

I am shocked.

Also, watch Ellen instead. At least she's entertaining, and doesn't have a self-importance complex (*cough*Tyra Banks*cough*).

 

[Lim3]

Oprah? I can't watch the tv right now, because of all the footage of her doing inane touristy things here. What's worse is all the people watching her and screaming, it's like she heralds the Second Coming of Christ.

She is smart, popular and business-savvy, I know, but she is only a person. Sheesh, why can't we just leave her to sightsee in peace?

The Australian government paid her to come here and make noise, not to be left in peace.

 

[trophykiller]

That was easy, I don't watch oprah anyway.

 

[Dastardly]

Please, amid all this hubbub concerning R18+ games, cultural divides, and killer fluffy things, people can sometimes forget that Australians are people too. In an effort to promote understanding amongst Americans on the nuances of Australian culture, you have dispatched some kind of emissary to study us and compile a report on us.

This is a plea from me to you: For the next 2-3 weeks, just IGNORE EVERYTHING OPRAH WINFREY SAYS ABOUT AUSTRALIA, AND ANYTHING THAT MAY BE SAID ABOUT AUSTRALIA WITHIN PROXIMITY OF OPRAH WINFREY.

McDonalds never was, nor ever will be a hip popular hangout.

*pantpant*

That woman wants a cult so baaaaad...

 

[captaincabbage]

FUCKING FINALLY!! Someone has bothered to say it out loud!

Yeah, Oprah has been paid a fuckload by McDonalds to say that we don't hang out in cafes or restraunts, but we hang out in mccafes? What the fuck?

SSSSSHHHHHEEEEEEENNNNAAAAANNNNNNIIIIIIGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[The Rascal King]

So, essentially Oprah is doing this?

 

[captaincabbage]

Oh yeah, also, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE PAYING SO MUCH FOR HER TO COME OVER HERE!?!? Most Auzzies don't give a shit about her, so why are we paying so much for someone we don't care about to come here and talk up bullshit about us and we're not going to see her or anything?*



*Rhetorical question, don't bother answering since I know it's all about the advertising.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

We can get rid of her easily: just get Paul McDermott to talk to her for fifteen minutes and give Tim Ferguson the rifle.

 

[Icarion (aka Stockholm)]

Why would, what, how? I am confused. Oprah is in Australia? Also why would anyone listen to all the "world peace" crap that Oprah spews? I mean cmon, it seems Oprah is throwing herself in the face of human nature. Whoah, off topic there. Don't worry, anything that comes out of Oprah's mouth will be completely ignored. On the bright side, Australia might get a surprise bonus of a few million tourist dollars

 

[PureChaos]

does Oprah have something against Australia or something?

 

[historybuff]

I don't watch Oprah. Why would I? Please do me a favor and don't assume all Americans follow Oprah. Or McDonalds, for that matter.

 

[Dfskelleton]

Why would I listen to Oprah Winfery in the first place? My perception of Oprah's actual intelligence was lowered by 800 fold with the "9000 Penises" trolling thing. Look it up on youtube (it's not explicit, she's just overreacting to a troll if you haven't seen it.)

 

[beniki]

Doesn't Oprah have a House in Sydney?

...

Sydney's Oprah House?

*crickets*

Quick! Play me off Keyboard Cat!

 

[Mrrrgggrlllrrrg]

I approve of the sovereignty of the Principality of Hutt [sub]river[/sub]


OT: I dont watch Oprah, in fact nobody I know where I'm from does, we like Reggis.

 

[klakkat]

Well, that's easy enough. I've never listened to a thing Oprah has said. No, seriously, I can't identify her voice and forget what she looks like.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Please, God, let her get bitten by something venomous...

So, statistically, if she gets bitten by what ... three(?) different animals that are currently within a 100 metre radius of her, that would meet your requirements?

Well, assuming she's staying within a top-class hotel, there should be at least three different species of spider within her room. One will be the Daddy Long-Legs (so no hope there), but we can pray that at least one of the two remaining species is venomous (or at least big enough to give her a heart attack).

Assuming this hotel also has outdoor facilities (preferably grassed), there should be several snakes in the vicinity (it's almost guaranteed that said snakes will be lethal). No further comment needed.

Should she decide to visit the ocean... well, let's just hope she decides to visit the ocean. Box Jellyfish, Stonefish, Blue-Ringed Octopus, possibly even a shark (although I wouldn't count on it).

Come on Australia... we can do it! We can kill Oprah!

Admittedly it would probably spell the end of America-Autralia relations but still, the amount of infamy we'd get would deter any international threat ever, because they'd know they'd have to fight a venoumous, aggressive, pro-Australian nature to do it, and let's face it, if you destroy nature why bother invading in the first place.

 

[TheRealCJ]

Wait, what's she saying? I'm confused D:
I'll stick with Ellen DeGeneres, thank you very much.

Woot. *highfive for Ellen*

She told a local shop keeper to take black faced dolls off her shelves for when Oprah visits.....

thats just wrong, if you're going to visit Australia you visit Australia. If you don't like it and you change it to what you want, then you're not visiting Australia you are visiting your perception of Australia.

A) I hope to god this isn't true.

B) You make a very valid point.

C) I'm Australian (woot!) and I've never seen a black face doll in a store. Not to say it isn't here, but I hope no one thinks it is common place or something >_>

We've copped enough flak from the Lebanese for our so called 'intolerance and racism'.

You've never seen a Golliwog?

 

[TheRealCJ]

Doesn't Oprah have a House in Sydney?

...

Sydney's Oprah House?

*crickets*

Quick! Play me off Keyboard Cat!

 

[Blind Sight]

Ignore Oprah? I've been doing that for years, since I've heard of her...what next?

So, essentially Oprah is doing this?

Oh those crazy Kiwi sheep fuckers.