A Pathetic, Yet Earnest, Request

[Samurai Goomba]

Sounds like she's setting you up for the Friend Zone. I would say it's already too late, and that she's made her mind up about you already.

Ditch the treacherous wench.

 

[Pegghead]

Be kind, be gracious, be patient, listen to what she has to say, compliment her, seem interested in things that aren't her during the evening, walk with her maybe home or between the ballet and the dinner.

Spoiler: But keep these things in mind

 

[Woem]

There's two things you can do: you can play games, or you can be yourself.

By just being yourself you will see what her natural reaction is to you. Of course don't be shy to give her a compliment about her dress/outfit or the way she did her hair or what nice lipstick/gloss she has one.

If you want to play games you could say you also want to be just friends. By saying this you upped your value because you become less available and she might actually go after you.

I'm not much into playing games though. Being my honest self is what got me married this year, after a 9-year relationship and still going strong

 

[BonsaiK]

Fellow Escapists, I need advice. I have a friend whom I REALLY like: she is cute, funny, smart, witty, nerdy, loves video games and fantasy novels...essentially, if I were to imagine a PERFECT woman, she would be it. I asked her, and she agreed to go on a date with me! The only problem? The more we hang out, the more she says we feel "more friend-y, less couple-y," and thinks it will be the same after this date. We are planning on going to a ballet and dinner. Since my friends are all woefully inexperienced in this area, I turn to you: what can I do to win her heart? What can I do before, during, or after this date in order to facilitate her seeing me as more than a friend? I realize I am asking for romantic advice on the web, but I would truly appreciate any thoughtful answers.

BonsaiK, you're up pal, do your stuff

To the rescue, again...

I have answered the OP's problem in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is here ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161?page=11#3538163 <--- and it's a thread that none of you folks should be afraid to use should you ever need it. You're guaranteed one sensible reply per genuine post.

 

[orangebandguy]

Dump her ass. That's it. She's already thinking about it, isn't she?

Tell her she's absolutely right and that you are looking for something else, and that that something else is not her.

It's mean as hell but some would argue that it beats getting dumped.

On the upside, when you both grow up, and in the likely event that you don't morph into an asshole, she might find you somewhat more enticing.

I sense some truth in your harshness. I guess you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

I was trying to be funny, not cruel...which makes me suck.

I found it funny all the same.

 

[Labyrinth]

Best advice I can give you is don't hate yourself if it doesn't work out. It's not all your fault and situations like these aren't so much a matter of 'winning her heart' (rather an archaic perception in my opinion) but rather seeing if you are compatible as a couple. This relies on the both of you wanting that. If she's not comfortable with being couple-y then there's not much you're going to be able to do about it. If she is she'll probably come to terms with it on her own meter.

 

[Inverse Skies]

The important thing to remember here is that if she wants to just be friends you have to respect that. It's her right not to want to go out with you, so if she doesn't the worst thing you can do is be all sulky and upset about it, that isn't going to help anything and it's going to make her feel bad for no reason other than being honest with you. Good luck, if it doesn't work, don't worry about it. Chin up, ok it'll suck because you clearly like this girl, but don't stress, keep being friends with her and either have patience to win her over slowly, or move on to someone else. It's easier than it sounds, but you have to respect her decision as well.

 

[Claymorez]

Fellow Escapists, I need advice. I have a friend whom I REALLY like: she is cute, funny, smart, witty, nerdy, loves video games and fantasy novels...essentially, if I were to imagine a PERFECT woman, she would be it. I asked her, and she agreed to go on a date with me! The only problem? The more we hang out, the more she says we feel "more friend-y, less couple-y," and thinks it will be the same after this date. We are planning on going to a ballet and dinner. Since my friends are all woefully inexperienced in this area, I turn to you: what can I do to win her heart? What can I do before, during, or after this date in order to facilitate her seeing me as more than a friend? I realize I am asking for romantic advice on the web, but I would truly appreciate any thoughtful answers.

I can honestly say that when I first asked out a girl I turned to the interet for advice and alot of it was useful and the rest of it bull, but m8 the best bit of advice I had was being told ur still in early days, your relationship still is growing, being a bf or gf is essentially choosing a person of the opposite sex (or same if ur homosexual) who u ultimately want to me more emotionally open with then ur other friends, who u hang out with more and eventually might become physically involved, that fact ur still close friends show your in a healthy relationship - being a bf doesnt mean jumping to her mouth for that first kiss or getting into their pants straight away, from the sound of it you are looking for a good relationship, so keep doing stuff u both enjoy and with time things will either show u want to still be together or return to being friends. "Just go with it", dont do anything either of u is uncomfortable with either of u, dont rush into stuff, and remember to keep things fun, and as time goes on you'll learn about each other more and more and hopefully grow closer, also I think it important to talk to her about this, as its only by talking to ur gf or bf that you can grow closer and maintain a healthy relationship - part of the whole thing is trusting each other with this sorta information - sharing ur fears etc.....anyway sorry for the rambleing I hope you found this useful (or at least a bit of it) GOOD LUCK

 

[Claymorez]

The important thing to remember here is that if she wants to just be friends you have to respect that. It's her right not to want to go out with you, so if she doesn't the worst thing you can do is be all sulky and upset about it, that isn't going to help anything and it's going to make her feel bad for no reason other than being honest with you. Good luck, if it doesn't work, don't worry about it. Chin up, ok it'll suck because you clearly like this girl, but don't stress, keep being friends with her and either have patience to win her over slowly, or move on to someone else. It's easier than it sounds, but you have to respect her decision as well.

Also on top of what i said pay attention to this bit of advice its right up there in importance

 

[Warhobo]

Okay, here is my thinking so far: instead of bringing her flowers, I will get her the first Firefly graphic novel, since she absolutely LOVES Firefly. For dinner, I am taking her to a Japanese Steak House - the kind where the chef cooks at the table - because she loves Japanese food. Whenever we walk, I will walk close enough to "accidentally" brush against her, initiating some contact. Eventually, I will hold her hand and tell her the truth: that she is, by far, the single most AMAZING woman I have met in my entire life, going over every reason why. Then, depending on how things go, I will try and kiss her at the end? How does that sound, people?