A Poly relationship

[TheOrb]

I would not, as it would be hard to "love" the other members equally. It's the same reason that most Muslims aren't polygamous.

 

[Mr F.]

Not for me. At all. I am a one dude (Or one lady) dude. Not moral objects, just not my thing, you know? Plus I have bad enough trust issues with one person (Still trying to get used to the idea that my partner is in love with me. The main hint is she has not noticed I am arrogant, apparently) so I do not really think I could handle a poly relationship.

Personally... Sounds like a bad idea. Sounds like a way of exponentially increasing the chance of somebody get hurt. Meh. I guess that is me. I do not really want to say anything. Cause I would get dragged into some form of flame war.

Bleh. I guess the most diplomatic way of putting things is it all sounds very modern. Hah.

So... Enjoy! I hope it goes well.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'm too monogamous and straight to consider such a relationship for myself. I don't see it as an evil for others though, just a decision that tends not to work out as expected for the most part. Love isn't an easy thing, I focus my devotion to one girl and expect the same concentration of passion coming right back at me.

Sex-wise? I don't want someone else touching my girlfriend. Period. So it wouldn't work.

I actually am in one right now, and apparently I'm super French because the other guy and myself get along quite well, being that we were friends long before the relationship.

The only real problem is I don't know what we equate to with each other in the relationship.
So, she's my girlfriend, and we're both her boyfriends, but what are the boyfriends to each other if they aren't dating?

Have you had a frank discussion with him about that? I would kind of want to get that figured out if I hypothetically was inclined to be in such a situation. Seems like something I'd want to resolve in my own mind.

 

[Radoh]

I'm too monogamous and straight to consider such a relationship for myself. I don't see it as an evil for others though, just a decision that tends not to work out as expected for the most part. Love isn't an easy thing, I focus my devotion to one girl and expect the same concentration of passion coming right back at me.

Sex-wise? I don't want someone else touching my girlfriend. Period. So it wouldn't work.

I actually am in one right now, and apparently I'm super French because the other guy and myself get along quite well, being that we were friends long before the relationship.

The only real problem is I don't know what we equate to with each other in the relationship.
So, she's my girlfriend, and we're both her boyfriends, but what are the boyfriends to each other if they aren't dating?

Have you had a frank discussion with him about that? I would kind of want to get that figured out if I hypothetically was inclined to be in such a situation. Seems like something I'd want to resolve in my own mind.

I do believe you've missed the question, I mean what is the word for what we are to each other, not where do we stand with each other as that has been resolved a long time ago.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

SNIP

Oh! I see. I have no idea what the term would be. ^.^'

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

But is there one that you're prone to eat more than the other? Or what if you can eat 3 ice cream cones today? You'll have to have one of those flavors twice compared to the other. Unless you just eat two. Which one is the first that comes to mind.
There's a reason, isn't it? That favoritism exists?

Swirl! Or one scoop of each on each of my three cones.

That's the issue - why would I just have one person when I could have both?

I haven't been bringing up physical pleasure at all.

I didn't say you specifically. The thread in general has often focused on that. And, while I can no longer remember, I thought that you started by replying to my post to someone else. Hence why premises in that post would carry over to my replies.

It doesn't need standardized units for someone to love someone else more, so I don't know why you act like I said it did.

If it doesn't have units, then how can you measure it? That's not me being a jerk - I really don't see how one can compare loves. I can't think of any time I've loved two people the same way. It's always different. Because of that, it would be very hard to actually compare them.

Also, you seem to be getting rather angry about this. I'm... not sure why. You're accusing me of putting words in your mouth (or you seem to be) but mostly I'm just feeling confused.

I don't think you come off as Judgmental at all. I do think you want to skew the results of your question to suit your needs though. I think if you and your SO are prepared to try an extra partner, you should go for it by all means. I also think that this is one of the more common sexual fantasies that gets played out. For the couple that only do it once and a while and are only doing it for sex, they tend to be able to move through it with no issues. Now people who are in the situation I was in, they tend to break up. It becomes very difficult to keep an open mind when your significant other has an emotional attachment to another person.

Thank you. And if I skew my questions (which is possible) it is unintentional. I guess I'm trying to explain how I feel, so I phrase things in a way that I can understand? Does that make sense?

Anyway, I've tried it before, and I liked it while it lasted. My spouse and I have talked about it and would like to do it... but we haven't found anyone interested/available for more than casual sex.

 

[FolkLikePanda]

I'd probably have two girls as sex buddies, because I don't think being in two relationships is good morally.

 

[wottabout]

I would probably have to wait until I've had a two-person relationship before amping it up to three people, but at the moment I am not opposed to the idea, if everyone was into everyone else. The main problem wouldn't so much be jealousy as the feeling that I'm weighing the relationship down and the other two don't need me and I should just quietly leave while they spend time together being happy without me. But, as someone else said, it's two shoulders to cry on and etc, so that sounds nice. It might be doomed to fail eventually, but it's still worth trying if everyone is into it.

 

[WolfThomas]

Snip

What I'm saying at no point short of your body or life being endangered, is it ever legally or socially acceptable to attack someone. Even if they're a colossal douche hassling you. You leave, you do something else. Physical violence, not acceptable.

They'll end up in hospital with a base of skull fracture or worse dead. You'll be in civil or criminal court.

Holy shit! How hard do you think Im going to hit them if it even comes to that?! Worst case is they get a fat lip and a bloody nose. You can just sleep that off. As for the court thing, 'round these parts no one calls the cops unless unless its serious. You can fight out in the parking lot of the local bar for all they care and as long as no one is hospitalized they wont even show up.

I'm talking worse case scenarios here. But it happens. I've seen plenty of facial trauma in ED from only only or two punches. They could fall and injure themself as a result of that punch. They could die at home "sleeping it off" from a bleed into their brain. Are you willing to take the risk?

Just because no calls the police (which is severe negligence on behalf of the bar) doesn't make the act less criminal or unacceptable.

 

[Luna]

If you are a man, I feel like I have less respect for you, but you don't know me and so long as you're happy keep doing what you're doing.

 

[Myndnix]

I'd definitely try it, but it'd probably be a purely physical thing because I'm not really all that capable of maintaining any kind of romantic relationship. That kind of stuff is kind of over my head.
So basically a totally unrealistic thing to expect to happen.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

In a casual relationship I'd be fine with that, I find both sexes attractive as well, so it might work out great for me. I couldn't handle it if it were with someone I really loved though. I'm a really a sentimental romantic when it comes to that sort of thing.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I've seen plenty of facial trauma in ED from only only or two punches.

No shit, look at how many Australian State governments have scurried to try and get 'One Punch Assault' and 'One Punch Kill' laws put on the books this year... Dozens of young blokes every week around the country getting their faces put back together with titanium pins and plates... and every couple of months some poor young sod dies from a king-hit thrown by some gutless fuckhead.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

I've seen plenty of facial trauma in ED from only only or two punches.

No shit, look at how many Australian State governments have scurried to try and get 'One Punch Assault' and 'One Punch Kill' laws put on the books this year... Dozens of young blokes every week around the country getting their faces put back together with titanium pins and plates... and every couple of months some poor young sod dies from a king-hit thrown by some gutless fuckhead.

True that. Someone being king-hit on King St was a regular weekend occurence at one stage. Seems to have quietened down a bit, but that could be due to less media coverage.

 

[Faraja]

I have recently entered a poly relationship with another girl and a boy, and while I'm quite happy, I am curious: would anyone else ever consider doing the same? Entering a 3 way relationship?7

Why or Why not? What are your views on it?

Captcha: It's Super Delicious.
Yes...yes it is <3

Stands opposed to everything I believe in, and I would immediately vacate the relationship. I don't believe you can actually dedicate and devote romantic love to more than one person, and actually be dedicated. To date, I've seen nothing to prove me wrong. I have never seen an actual example of someone giving all of their love to two or more partners.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

If that works for you, that's great I guess. For me, it definitely doesn't. I'd be far too busy worrying about her deciding the other person is better than me and leaving me for them. Plus I have no interest in involving other dudes in my love life at all so if I didn't have the first issue I'd still need to find multiple bisexual ladies who are cool with the idea.

Captcha: funny farm
You know, that takes on an entirely different meaning in this context.

 

[Polarity27]

No, they're not....Yet. I'm trying, though.

**confused**

Wait, so they're both have sex with you, but not with one another? And - checks profile to make sure - yup, you're female. Are both of them male and straight? That's the only reason I could think of to exclude themselves like that.

I haven't read through this whole thread to see if someone corrects your misconceptions yet, but in case they haven't... no, poly doesn't mean that all parties must all be sleeping with each other. Poly means that the parties have entered into a relationship that involves more than two people, and involves an ongoing love relationship (i.e. not just one night stands/swinging). I'm in an open marriage (we can have sex with other people), and I'd love to be in a poly situation but I definitely do *not* want threesomes of any kind whatsoever, nor do I want to be sexually involved in any other loving relationship my husband makes (though I would prefer the woman to at least be friend-compatible with me) nor want my husband sexually involved with any woman I'd get into a loving relationship with (though I would prefer her to be at least friend-compatible with my husband). I have a friend in a long-standing poly relationship, both she and her legal husband have other partners, but neither of their OSOs fuck the other person (nor do they sleep with each other).

I mean, some poly relationships do involve multiple people who are all sleeping together and intimately and romantically involved with each other, but it's by no means definitionally required.

 

[Seydaman]

I would be fine with it, but only within 3-4 people (counting me), otherwise I think the emotions get spread too thin.