A PRACTICAL STUDY ON MEATBAG SUBJUGATION

[Starik20X6]

Wait, I got this.

"Take ye flask."

You cannot get ye flask. And now you just have to sit there and wonder why on Earth you cannot get ye flask. Because the game's certainly not going to tell you, and there's no precious graphics to help you out either.

 

[FalloutJack]

-Dear Strong Snip-

Phew! Lucked out there. I thought this was the one where it was acting as a major support for the whole area. Well, moving along...

 

[Starik20X6]

-Dear Strong Snip-

Phew! Lucked out there. I thought this was the one where it was acting as a major support for the whole area. Well, moving along...

Nah, that's the dungeon two doors down. Now we just need a way out. Seems we can go North, South or Dennis...

 

[AstylahAthrys]

I... I am not entirely sure what it is that I am reading. I am so confused...

 

[Ruzinus]

SmashBot(Initial): Investigate remnants of prior meatbag occupation.
Sightbot_00Q: Advance North.

 

[Escape]

Scouts- Have them move towards the checkpoint and assess whether it can be of any use.

Warriors-
Primary suggestion- Move to investigate the freshly discovered ruins.

Secondary suggestion- Attack the barbarian camp.

Tertiary suggestion- Start feeling a sudden need to begin exploring in a different direction. A direction away from the big scary barbarians.

Spoiler: ONE'S ASSESSMENT AGREES WITH THIS USER. EVEN ODDS ARE NOT AN INDICATOR FOR FORWARD MILITARY PROGRESS.

AN ENLIGHTENING REPORT HAS REACHED OUR DISCUSSION.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t6/newmap.jpg]
A COASTAL LOCATION, IN A MOUNTAIN PASS.
ORANGES. A DELICACY UNKNOWN TO MOST.

TURN 7. HISTORY BEGINS TO FORM.

Spoiler: A FOREIGN ENTITY HAS MOVED INTO OUR FIELD

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/first_contact.jpg]

HAIL, SWEDISH MEATBAG.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/sweden.jpg]
I TOO HAVE MANY GOLDEN COMPONENTS. MAY YOU LIVE LONG AND PRODUCE MUCH ENERGY.

Spoiler: WE HAVE ACHIEVED PONY

PONY CAPABILITY IS NOW ONLINE.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/horsies.jpg]

A NEW RESEARCH MUST BEGIN.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/tech.jpg]PREVIOUS UN-RESEARCHED TECH NOMINATIONS ARE CUMULATIVE FOR DETERMINATION OF ACTION.

Spoiler: POSSIBLE KNOWN ACTIONS

WARRIOR
|_OVERRIDE. RESOURCE DENIAL OF RUINS DETERMINED TOO VITAL TO DEVIATE PRIOR COURSE OF ACTION.
|__ FUTURE COURSES OF ACTION ARE AVAILABLE FOR QUEUEING.

SCOUT
|_MOVEMENT ORDERS

DIPLOMACY*
|_BE SASSY WITH SWEDEN

TECH
|_DETERMINE RESEARCH - [[small]WEIGHTING TOWARDS ARCHERY CURRENTLY APPLIED TO RESULTS[/small]]

[small]*DIPLOMACY WILL BE AN OPTION AVAILABLE MOST TURNS. PLEASE REQUEST UPDATES IF INFORMATION REQUIRED FOR DIPLOMACY ACTIONS.[/small]

[small]Endless Loop, n.: see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless, n.: see Endless Loop.
-- Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary
[/small]

 

[Ruzinus]

Sight(Meatthingthingthing)---// Scout: Proceed NorthEast
INVESTIGATE BASIC MISSILE PRAXIS
INITIATE SASS

 

[gigastar]

Updates reviewed, followup suggestions following...

Team Warrior-
Continue investigating ruins for anything of value, then continue scouting the area for easy conquests.

Team Scout-
Note location for possible settlement from which conquest of the seas can be achieved, then begin scouting further north.

Team Research-
Devote time into making sticks able to fling eachother with greater efficiency, then we may be able to show those barbarians whos boss around here.

Team Diplomacy-
Play nice, for now. Also squeeze location of any settlements the contact party may have. We will need to know later.

Maintenence hours approaching, may be self-rebooting for the next turn. Will consider updates to verbose software.

 

[Escape]

INITIATE SASS

PLEASE DEFINE SASS PARAMETERS.

[small]The smallest worm will turn being trodden on. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"[/small]

 

[Ruzinus]

INITIATE SASS

PLEASE DEFINE SASS PARAMETERS.

[small]The smallest worm will turn being trodden on. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"[/small]

SASS - The being of even not what more demanded tribute of from lessers [init redact place SWEDEN BEARD MAN] on threat of punishment [init redact place WAR].

 

[Laser Priest]

THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE CAPITAL-LETTER-ABUSING CONQUEROR ON THESE FORUMS.

And it's probably you, I'm gonna go hide in my fort.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I'm going to agree with Taco and surrender.

Have mercy on our souls.

My brother said maybe it's Anonymous. I said maybe it's moot. If it were moot that'd be...fucking....yeah.

 

[Porygon-2000]

I don't know anything anymore!! I am so confus!

 

[thethird0611]

Scouts- Have them move towards the checkpoint and assess whether it can be of any use.

Warriors-
Primary suggestion- Move to investigate the freshly discovered ruins.

Secondary suggestion- Attack the barbarian camp.

Tertiary suggestion- Start feeling a sudden need to begin exploring in a different direction. A direction away from the big scary barbarians.

Spoiler: ONE'S ASSESSMENT AGREES WITH THIS USER. EVEN ODDS ARE NOT AN INDICATOR FOR FORWARD MILITARY PROGRESS.

AN ENLIGHTENING REPORT HAS REACHED OUR DISCUSSION.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t6/newmap.jpg]
A COASTAL LOCATION, IN A MOUNTAIN PASS.
ORANGES. A DELICACY UNKNOWN TO MOST.

TURN 7. HISTORY BEGINS TO FORM.

Spoiler: A FOREIGN ENTITY HAS MOVED INTO OUR FIELD

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/first_contact.jpg]

HAIL, SWEDISH MEATBAG.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/sweden.jpg]
I TOO HAVE MANY GOLDEN COMPONENTS. MAY YOU LIVE LONG AND PRODUCE MUCH ENERGY.

Spoiler: WE HAVE ACHIEVED PONY

PONY CAPABILITY IS NOW ONLINE.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/horsies.jpg]

A NEW RESEARCH MUST BEGIN.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/tech.jpg]PREVIOUS UN-RESEARCHED TECH NOMINATIONS ARE CUMULATIVE FOR DETERMINATION OF ACTION.

Spoiler: POSSIBLE KNOWN ACTIONS

WARRIOR
|_OVERRIDE. RESOURCE DENIAL OF RUINS DETERMINED TOO VITAL TO DEVIATE PRIOR COURSE OF ACTION.
|__ FUTURE COURSES OF ACTION ARE AVAILABLE FOR QUEUEING.

SCOUT
|_MOVEMENT ORDERS

DIPLOMACY*
|_BE SASSY WITH SWEDEN

TECH
|_DETERMINE RESEARCH - [[small]WEIGHTING TOWARDS ARCHERY CURRENTLY APPLIED TO RESULTS[/small]]

[small]*DIPLOMACY WILL BE AN OPTION AVAILABLE MOST TURNS. PLEASE REQUEST UPDATES IF INFORMATION REQUIRED FOR DIPLOMACY ACTIONS.[/small]

[small]Endless Loop, n.: see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless, n.: see Endless Loop.
-- Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary
[/small]

Actions -

Scouts: Move scouts North to continue study of environment, and find more MEATBAGS.

Research: Intiate archery research to motivate the local subjects!

INTIATE CYCLES..... erm, please.

 

[Escape]

Spoiler: OUR SCOUTS HAVE FOUND WINE. POURING FROM THE EARTH IN A DRUNKEN DISPLAY OF NATURE.

OUR SCOUTS HAVE FOUND WINE. POURING FROM THE EARTH IN A DRUNKEN DISPLAY OF NATURE.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/resources.jpg]

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t7/ruins.jpg]
STANDING TALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RUINS - A MONUMENT SCRAWLED WITH GEOMETRIC PATTERNS.

TURN 8 - A POLICY OF PROGRESS

FURTHER ANALYSIS OF THE PATTERNS INSCRIBED ON THE MONUMENT HAVE REVEALED UPGRADE ROUTINES REGARDING MEATBAG SOCIAL MOTIVATIONS.

PREPARING SUGGESTED SUBLIMINAL CUES IN POPULACE INTERACTIONS... DONE.

Spoiler: PLEASE DETERMINE THE FOCUS OF OUR HARMONIZING INFLUENCE.

ADVISORY ENTITIES WILL BE KEPT APPRAISED OF FUTURE UNIFYING DEVELOPMENTS

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t8/policies.jpg]

Spoiler: POSSIBLE KNOWN ACTIONS

SCOUT
|_MOVEMENT ORDERS [http://underhanded.org/c5/t8/scout.jpg]

WARRIOR
|_MOVEMENT ORDERS [http://underhanded.org/c5/t8/warrior.jpg]

SOCIAL POLICY
|_SELECT BASE POLICY [http://underhanded.org/c5/t8/policies.jpg] FOR 15 UNITS OF CULTURED MEATBAGS

[small]I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. -- Roy Croft[/small]

 

[gigastar]

C[small]ULTURAL DISCOVERY?[/small] W[small]HY IS IT NEVER AN ANCIENT SUPERWEAPON?[/small]

M[small]OVING ON...[/small]

T[SMALL]EAM[/SMALL] C[SMALL]ULTURE-[/SMALL]
R[SMALL]ECCOMEND THE HONOR CULTURAL PATH, A BETTER MILITARY WILL ALLOW FOR EASIER DOMINION OVER THE MEATBAGS WE DO NOT ALREADY HAVE DOMINION OVER.[/SMALL]

T[SMALL]EAM SCOUT-[/SMALL]
B[SMALL]EGIN EXPLORING EASTWARDS, WE MUST KNOW WHAT LIES CLOSE TO OUR CENTRAL MEATBAG REPOSITORY. OUR MEATBAGS MAY NOT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO RESIST EARLY ATTACK SHOULD WE DETECT IT TOO LATE.[/SMALL]

T[SMALL]EAM WARRIOR-[/SMALL]
B[SMALL]EGIN EXPLORING WEST, KNOWING WHERE THE LOCAL COAST IS WILL PROVE PIVOTAL TO THE FUTURE PLACEMENT OF A [/SMALL]B[SMALL]ATTLE [/SMALL]M[SMALL]EATBAG [/SMALL]E[SMALL]XPORTATION [/SMALL]F[SMALL]ACILITY.[/SMALL]

L[SMALL]IVE TEST OF UPDATED VERBOSE SOFTWARE... COMPLETE.[/SMALL] R[SMALL]ESULTS FAVORABLE.[/SMALL]

 

[Escape]

C[small]ULTURAL DISCOVERY?[/small] W[small]HY IS IT NEVER AN ANCIENT SUPERWEAPON?[/small]

OUR DEPARTMENT IS SADLY UNDER FUNDED.

T[SMALL]EAM[/SMALL] C[SMALL]ULTURE-[/SMALL]
R[SMALL]ECCOMEND THE HONOR CULTURAL PATH, A BETTER MILITARY WILL ALLOW FOR EASIER DOMINION OVER THE MEATBAGS WE DO NOT ALREADY HAVE DOMINION OVER.[/SMALL]

T[SMALL]EAM SCOUT-[/SMALL]
B[SMALL]EGIN EXPLORING EASTWARDS, WE MUST KNOW WHAT LIES CLOSE TO OUR CENTRAL MEATBAG REPOSITORY. OUR MEATBAGS MAY NOT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO RESIST EARLY ATTACK SHOULD WE DETECT IT TOO LATE.[/SMALL]

T[SMALL]EAM WARRIOR-[/SMALL]
B[SMALL]EGIN EXPLORING WEST, KNOWING WHERE THE LOCAL COAST IS WILL PROVE PIVOTAL TO THE FUTURE PLACEMENT OF A [/SMALL]B[SMALL]ATTLE [/SMALL]M[SMALL]EATBAG [/SMALL]E[SMALL]XPORTATION [/SMALL]F[SMALL]ACILITY.[/SMALL]

Spoiler: EXPLORATIONS PROVE FRUITFUL. POSSIBLE SUPPLICANTS ENCOUNTERED.

THIS CITY STATE OF RAGUSA HAS SHOWN DUE RESPECT FOR OUR BENEVOLENT EMPIRE.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t8/ragusa.jpg]

POLICY REGARDING THIS NEW ENTITY MUST BE DEFINED BEFORE FURTHER ACTION.

[http://underhanded.org/c5/t8/resources.jpg]

WE WILL REQUIRE THEIR SURRENDER OF THESE CRYSTALS AT A FUTURE DATE.

TURN ADVANCE AWAITING RAGUSA POLICY DEFINITION. WILL CONTINUE CURRENT EXPLORATION DIRECTIVES ON SUBSEQUENT TURN.

[small]When some people discover the truth, they just can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it.[/small]

 

[gigastar]

U[SMALL]PDATE INFORMATION RECIEVED.[/SMALL]

R[SMALL]ECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION IN REGARDS TO 52 41 47 55 53 41 [/SMALL]"RAGUSA"[SMALL] FOLLOWS-[/SMALL]

T[SMALL]EAM[/SMALL] D[SMALL]IPLOMACY-[/SMALL]
A[SMALL]S THIER MILITARY STRENGTH IS UNKNOWN AT THIS TIME, ESPECIALLY CONISDERING OUR ONLY ABLE SQUADRON IS TOO FAR AWAY TO BE OF USE AT THIS TIME, PROPOSE AN ALLIANCE FOR THE TIME BEING[/SMALL]. W[SMALL]E CAN ALWAYS BACKSTAB THEM LATER AND WE CAN REAP THE BENEFIT OF KNOWING WHAT THEY KNOW.[/SMALL]

C[SMALL]ONTINUED POGRESS ON STANDING ORDERS IS SATISFACTORY AT THIS TIME.[/SMALL]

 

[M0rp43vs]

I have no idea about civ but since you are OBVIOUSLY going to end with all organic lifeforms beneath your heel, have plans to build terminators and send them to the past(present) to make victory easier?

 

[Alssadar]

Run away to the ruins! Surely, they must hold ancient meatbag technology that makes the subjugation of other meatbags easier, as whoever was once there had already eliminated all the meatbags there, leaving only ruin!
Edit: Oops, didn't notice that the pages were carrying on and was replying to a past decision.

On a side note, my time machine gives me the incorrect dates to travel back in time.