a promise to the_root_of_all_evil finally fulfilled - LOLiterature

[The_root_of_all_evil]

"MUTHR. JUS KILT A MAN
PUT GUN TO IZ HED
PULT TRIG'R, NOW HE DED
MUTHR, LIEF HAZ JUS BIGGUN
N NAOW ME GON N THRONE IT ALL AWAE.

 

[Sark]

I think we should move this into classic songs too.

 

[MasterStratus]

Fire and Ice by Robert Frost?
I can haz cookie?

Yes, yes you can. That's one of my favorites.

WOOOO COOKIE

Yeah, it's a great poem.

 

[Brett Alex]

Root, my favorite of yours is still A Tail of Two Kittehs:

WAS WIN TIEM, WAS FAIL TIEM.

It's remarkably difficult to reduce classics to the LOL form without simple repetition of phrases. "Waz a drk n stromie nite" isn't really LOLspeak, but "DO NOT WANT NITE=DARK+STORMY"
covers it.

ME NOTZ WANT WHAT U RITE BUT ME DEFENDZ UR RITE TO LOL IT. - Apologies to Voltaire.

Is this kind of what you meant?

LUNDUN IZ: 'O HAI!'
2 TEH LOOOOONG-WAY TOWNZ
NAO TIME IZ 4 FITE, LAZER IZ PEW PEW

LUNDUN IN UR PHONEZ
CALLIN UR UNDERGROUNDZ
CUPOARDS: GIT OUT OF DEM BOIZ N GURLZ!!1!

LUNDUN TEL WORLD
'STFU!! NOT UZ 2 LOOK!!
PHOTOSHOPZ BEETLE-MEME=LOLS FAIL LOL!!'


(In case you didn't get it, thats London Calling.)

I'm so sorry Strummer.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Is this kind of what you meant?

LUNDUN IZ: 'O HAI!'
2 TEH LOOOOONG-WAY TOWNZ
NAO TIME IZ 4 FITE, LAZER IZ PEW PEW

LUNDUN IN UR PHONEZ
CALLIN UR UNDERGROUNDZ
CUPOARDS: GIT OUT OF DEM BOIZ N GURLZ!!1!

LUNDUN TEL WORLD
'STFU!! NOT UZ 2 LOOK!!
PHOTOSHOPZ BEETLE-MEME=LOLS FAIL LOL!!'


(In case you didn't get it, thats London Calling.)

I'm so sorry Strummer.

Brilliant

 

[HPoirot]

Is this kind of what you meant?

LUNDUN IZ: 'O HAI!'
2 TEH LOOOOONG-WAY TOWNZ
NAO TIME IZ 4 FITE, LAZER IZ PEW PEW

LUNDUN IN UR PHONEZ
CALLIN UR UNDERGROUNDZ
CUPOARDS: GIT OUT OF DEM BOIZ N GURLZ!!1!

LUNDUN TEL WORLD
'STFU!! NOT UZ 2 LOOK!!
PHOTOSHOPZ BEETLE-MEME=LOLS FAIL LOL!!'


(In case you didn't get it, thats London Calling.)

I'm so sorry Strummer.

I believe I shall go throw myself off a cliff.

 

[Soulgaunt]

Spoiler

PIKSHUR URSELF IN BOAT ON RIVR,
WITH TANGERINE TREEZ AND MARMALADE SKIEZ SOMEBODY CALLZ YOO,
YOUZ ANSWR QUITE SLOWLY,
GIRL WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYEZ.

CELLOFANE FLOWERZ OF YELLOW AND GREEN,
TOWERIN OVR YUR HEDD.
LOKAY FOR TEH GIRL WITH TEH SUN IN HR EYEZ,
AND SHEZ GONE.

LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
AH.. AH...

FOLLOW HR DOWN 2 BRIDGE BY FOUNTAIN
WHERE ROCKIN HORSE PEOPLE EAT MARSHMALLOW PIEZ,
EVERYONE SMILEZ AZ YOUZ DRIFT PAST TEH FLOWERZ,
THAT GROW SO INCREDIBLY HIGH.

NEWSPAPR TAXIZ APPEAR ON TEH SHORE,
WAITINS T TAKE YU AWAY.
CLIMB IN TEH BACK WITH YUR HEDD IN TEH CLOUDZ,
AND YOORE GONE.

LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
AH.. AH...

PIKSHUR YOARSELF ON TRAIN IN STASHUN,
WITH PLASTICINE PORTERZ WITH LOOKIN GLASZ TIEZ,
SUDDENLY SOMEONE AR TEH THERE AT TEH TURNSTILE,
TEH GIRL WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYEZ.

LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
LUCY IN TEH SKY WITH DIAMONDZ
AH.. AH...

Shame? What shame?

.......I NOA HAZ INSPARATION 2 KILZ YUR FAMILY!
I'm not very good at LOLcats.

OT: This thread is like taking a chainsaw to the face of an English teacher.

EDIT: An LOLcats version of anything said by a Chaos Space Marine would be hilarious...

 

[Landslide]

Nicene Creed

I haz beleef in 1 godz,
The furrther almitey,
Maekur uv teh hevinz and teh urfs,
An of all teh thingz vizzibul an invizzibul;

An in teh 1 lord teh Jeezus Catz,
Teh ownlee beegot-in son uv teh god,
Beegot-in uv hiz furrther be4 all teh wurlds,
God uv god, lite uv teh lites,
Vyr godz uv teh vry godz,
Beegot-in, knot maedz,
Bein uf 1 substince wif teh furrther;
by who all teh thingz wuz maed;
who 4 us catz an 4 our salivation
cumz down frum teh hevvinz,
an wuz incurnit by teh holey ghostez (OMG GHOSTEZ!!1!)
of teh Vurgin Marley,
an wuz maed catz,
an wuz crooseefied az well 4 us undar Puntus Pilates;
he liek, suffured an wuz barried (under teh groundz!!11);
an on teh thurd of dayz he rozed againz (OMG ZOMBIE CHEEZESUS!!!1)
according to teh scripchores,
an he ass-ended into teh hevvinz,
and sitted on teh right handz of teh furrther;
an he shall, liek, cumz agin, wif gloriez,
2 be judgin' bof teh quikz an teh dedz;
an his kingdum shall haes no endz.

 

[pigeon_of_doom]

Now we've branched out from classic literature, I'm seriously struggling to prevent myself murdering Churchill's famous "Nevar Surrendar!" speech.

I'll just have to destroy a marginally less monumental piece of British culture.



U SAY YEZ, I SAY NO
U SAY STOP AN I SAY GO, GO, GO
OH, NO
U SAY KTHXBAI AN I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI
I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI
I SAY Y HALO THAR

I SAY HIGH, U SAY LOW
U SAY Y, AN I SAY I DOAN KNOE
OH, NO
U SAY KTHXBAI AN I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI
I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI
I SAY Y HALO THAR

Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y
DO U SAY GUD BAI
KTHXBAI, BAI, BAI, BAI, BAI

OH, NO
U SAY KTHXBAI AN I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI
I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI
I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR, Y HALO THAR
I DOAN KNOE Y U SAY KTHXBAI I SAY Y HALO THAR
Y HALO THAR

HELA, HEBA HELLOA
HELA, HEBA HELLOA

 

[Virgil]

I'm sorry, Mr. Lennon
[hr]

HAI IS HE IS U R HE IS U R ME AZ WE R TGETHR
C HOW THEYZ RUN [a href='http://www.tdcooper.com/cat_gun.jpg']TEH LOLCATZ WIF TEH GUN[/a], C HOW FLYZ
I R CRYIN

I SITZ IN TEH BUKKIT, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/funny-pictures-kitten-is-excited-about-ice-cream1.jpg']I WAITS FOR TEH VAN 2 COME[/a]
[a href='http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/lolcat-tshirt.jpg']CORPZERASHUN TSHIRTS[/a], STPUID BLOODY TUZDAY
MAN U B [a href='http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Bad_cat_hides_lolcat.png']A BAD BOY[/a], LETZ UR FACE GRO LONG
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/8/28/islookin4da128644102781040704.jpg']I R TEH WALRUS[/a]
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-halo-dog-pew.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

MISTAH [a href='http://scienceblogs.com/deepseanews/lolcat_pirate.jpg']KITTEH PIRATE[/a] SITTIN
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-these-cats-make-up-a-committee-of-ninjas.jpg']ITTEH BITTEH NINJAZ[/a] IN A ROW
SEE HOW THEY FLYS LIEK [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/4/15/pieeatingconte128528020233125000.jpg']KITTEHZ IN A PIE[/a], C HOW RUN
IZ CRYIN
IZ CRY, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-pictures-tiger-can-hear-the-ocean-and-a-walrus-crying.jpg']IZ CRYIN[/a], IZ CRY

INVISIBLE FACESTAB, [a href='http://xkcd.com/262/']GLUIN FUNNEH CAPSHUNZ[/a]! HAI!
CHEEZBURGER FISHWIFE, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-adobe-photoshop-license-revoked.jpg']PHOTOSHOPZIN PREESTESS[/a]
UR [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/13/128814167900252956.jpg']A NAUGHTY GRRL[/a] U LET UR [a href='http://media.photobucket.com/image/lolcat%20dry/QuirkyTonya/Animals/LOL%20Cats/LOLCats28.jpg']KITTEH GET 2 HI[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), I R TEH WALRUS
[a href='http://www.addto10.com/images/funny-pictures-pews-pewing.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

I'M [a href='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eaKbvlcIK10/R-EMiFP1OeI/AAAAAAAABH8/_0f5M4J5j3c/s400/lolcat6.jpg']IN UR ENGRISH GARDIN[/a], WAITIN FOR [a href='http://talklikeaphysicist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/physics-lolcat.jpg']UR SUN[/a]
IF TEH SUN NO COME [a href='http://www.computerweekly.com/blogs/it-downtime-blog/lolcat-tan-thumb-450x394.jpg']I CAN HAS TAN[/a]
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-cats-umbrella-rain-flood.jpg']STANDIN IN TEH LOLCATZ RAIN[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), I R TEH WALRUS
[a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/5/19/pewpew128556809820013017.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

EXPURT TEXTPURT RAZER LAZURZ,
DO U THINK TEH [a href='http://scottthong.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/seriouscatjoker.jpg']JOKERZ[/a] LAFF AT U? (ke ke ke, fo fo fo, pew pew pew)
C HOW THEY SMILEZ LIKE [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-ceiling-cat-cloud.jpg']LOLCATS IN TEH SKY[/a], SEE HOW [a href='http://cache.io9.com/assets/resources/2008/01/dunecat.jpg']THEY SLIDEZ[/a]
[a href='http://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-pics/lolcats/cute-crying-kitty.jpg']IZ CRYIN[/a]

[a href='http://wordandimage.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/pc.jpg']STEALIN ALL UR INTERNETZ[/a], IN UR PC TOWAH
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/funny-pictures-penguin-does-not-have-happy-feet-but-rather-cold-ones.jpg']LITTLE FREEZIN PENGUIN[/a] SINGIN [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-hippos-sing-harmony.jpg']HARMONEEZ[/a]
OMG! U SHOULDZ SEE TEH [a href='http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/8092/funnypicturescateatsravqz4.jpg']EATIN EDGAR ALLEN POE[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), [a href='http://n2.cdn.spikedhumor.com/1/536000/126822_walrus_1.jpg']I R TEH WALRUS[/a]
PEW PEW RAWR PEW RAWR [a href='http://mirror.servut.us/kuvat/meinung/badass_lazerz_-_pew_pew_pew.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

 

[ace_of_something]

I'm sorry, Mr. Lennon
[hr]

HAI IS HE IS U R HE IS U R ME AZ WE R TGETHR
C HOW THEYZ RUN [a href='http://www.tdcooper.com/cat_gun.jpg']TEH LOLCATZ WIF TEH GUN[/a], C HOW FLYZ
I R CRYIN

I SITZ IN TEH BUKKIT, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/funny-pictures-kitten-is-excited-about-ice-cream1.jpg']I WAITS FOR TEH VAN 2 COME[/a]
[a href='http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/lolcat-tshirt.jpg']CORPZERASHUN TSHIRTS[/a], STPUID BLOODY TUZDAY
MAN U B [a href='http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Bad_cat_hides_lolcat.png']A BAD BOY[/a], LETZ UR FACE GRO LONG
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/8/28/islookin4da128644102781040704.jpg']I R TEH WALRUS[/a]
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-halo-dog-pew.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

MISTAH [a href='http://scienceblogs.com/deepseanews/lolcat_pirate.jpg']KITTEH PIRATE[/a] SITTIN
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-these-cats-make-up-a-committee-of-ninjas.jpg']ITTEH BITTEH NINJAZ[/a] IN A ROW
SEE HOW THEY FLYS LIEK [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/4/15/pieeatingconte128528020233125000.jpg']KITTEHZ IN A PIE[/a], C HOW RUN
IZ CRYIN
IZ CRY, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-pictures-tiger-can-hear-the-ocean-and-a-walrus-crying.jpg']IZ CRYIN[/a], IZ CRY

INVISIBLE FACESTAB, [a href='http://xkcd.com/262/']GLUIN FUNNEH CAPSHUNZ[/a]! HAI!
CHEEZBURGER FISHWIFE, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-adobe-photoshop-license-revoked.jpg']PHOTOSHOPZIN PREESTESS[/a]
UR [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/13/128814167900252956.jpg']A NAUGHTY GRRL[/a] U LET UR [a href='http://media.photobucket.com/image/lolcat%20dry/QuirkyTonya/Animals/LOL%20Cats/LOLCats28.jpg']KITTEH GET 2 HI[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), I R TEH WALRUS
[a href='http://www.addto10.com/images/funny-pictures-pews-pewing.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

I'M [a href='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eaKbvlcIK10/R-EMiFP1OeI/AAAAAAAABH8/_0f5M4J5j3c/s400/lolcat6.jpg']IN UR ENGRISH GARDIN[/a], WAITIN FOR [a href='http://talklikeaphysicist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/physics-lolcat.jpg']UR SUN[/a]
IF TEH SUN NO COME [a href='http://www.computerweekly.com/blogs/it-downtime-blog/lolcat-tan-thumb-450x394.jpg']I CAN HAS TAN[/a]
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-cats-umbrella-rain-flood.jpg']STANDIN IN TEH LOLCATZ RAIN[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), I R TEH WALRUS
[a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/5/19/pewpew128556809820013017.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

EXPURT TEXTPURT RAZER LAZURZ,
DO U THINK TEH [a href='http://scottthong.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/seriouscatjoker.jpg']JOKERZ[/a] LAFF AT U? (ke ke ke, fo fo fo, pew pew pew)
C HOW THEY SMILEZ LIKE [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-ceiling-cat-cloud.jpg']LOLCATS IN TEH SKY[/a], SEE HOW [a href='http://cache.io9.com/assets/resources/2008/01/dunecat.jpg']THEY SLIDEZ[/a]
[a href='http://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-pics/lolcats/cute-crying-kitty.jpg']IZ CRYIN[/a]

[a href='http://wordandimage.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/pc.jpg']STEALIN ALL UR INTERNETZ[/a], IN UR PC TOWAH
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/funny-pictures-penguin-does-not-have-happy-feet-but-rather-cold-ones.jpg']LITTLE FREEZIN PENGUIN[/a] SINGIN [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-hippos-sing-harmony.jpg']HARMONEEZ[/a]
OMG! U SHOULDZ SEE TEH [a href='http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/8092/funnypicturescateatsravqz4.jpg']EATIN EDGAR ALLEN POE[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), [a href='http://n2.cdn.spikedhumor.com/1/536000/126822_walrus_1.jpg']I R TEH WALRUS[/a]
PEW PEW RAWR PEW RAWR [a href='http://mirror.servut.us/kuvat/meinung/badass_lazerz_-_pew_pew_pew.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

*does the [a href=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main.SlowClap]slow clap[/a]*

 

[Spinwhiz]

I'm sorry, Mr. Lennon
[hr]

HAI IS HE IS U R HE IS U R ME AZ WE R TGETHR
C HOW THEYZ RUN [a href='http://www.tdcooper.com/cat_gun.jpg']TEH LOLCATZ WIF TEH GUN[/a], C HOW FLYZ
I R CRYIN

I SITZ IN TEH BUKKIT, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/funny-pictures-kitten-is-excited-about-ice-cream1.jpg']I WAITS FOR TEH VAN 2 COME[/a]
[a href='http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/lolcat-tshirt.jpg']CORPZERASHUN TSHIRTS[/a], STPUID BLOODY TUZDAY
MAN U B [a href='http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Bad_cat_hides_lolcat.png']A BAD BOY[/a], LETZ UR FACE GRO LONG
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/8/28/islookin4da128644102781040704.jpg']I R TEH WALRUS[/a]
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-halo-dog-pew.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

MISTAH [a href='http://scienceblogs.com/deepseanews/lolcat_pirate.jpg']KITTEH PIRATE[/a] SITTIN
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-these-cats-make-up-a-committee-of-ninjas.jpg']ITTEH BITTEH NINJAZ[/a] IN A ROW
SEE HOW THEY FLYS LIEK [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/4/15/pieeatingconte128528020233125000.jpg']KITTEHZ IN A PIE[/a], C HOW RUN
IZ CRYIN
IZ CRY, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-pictures-tiger-can-hear-the-ocean-and-a-walrus-crying.jpg']IZ CRYIN[/a], IZ CRY

INVISIBLE FACESTAB, [a href='http://xkcd.com/262/']GLUIN FUNNEH CAPSHUNZ[/a]! HAI!
CHEEZBURGER FISHWIFE, [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-adobe-photoshop-license-revoked.jpg']PHOTOSHOPZIN PREESTESS[/a]
UR [a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/13/128814167900252956.jpg']A NAUGHTY GRRL[/a] U LET UR [a href='http://media.photobucket.com/image/lolcat%20dry/QuirkyTonya/Animals/LOL%20Cats/LOLCats28.jpg']KITTEH GET 2 HI[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), I R TEH WALRUS
[a href='http://www.addto10.com/images/funny-pictures-pews-pewing.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

I'M [a href='http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eaKbvlcIK10/R-EMiFP1OeI/AAAAAAAABH8/_0f5M4J5j3c/s400/lolcat6.jpg']IN UR ENGRISH GARDIN[/a], WAITIN FOR [a href='http://talklikeaphysicist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/physics-lolcat.jpg']UR SUN[/a]
IF TEH SUN NO COME [a href='http://www.computerweekly.com/blogs/it-downtime-blog/lolcat-tan-thumb-450x394.jpg']I CAN HAS TAN[/a]
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-cats-umbrella-rain-flood.jpg']STANDIN IN TEH LOLCATZ RAIN[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), I R TEH WALRUS
[a href='http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/5/19/pewpew128556809820013017.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

EXPURT TEXTPURT RAZER LAZURZ,
DO U THINK TEH [a href='http://scottthong.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/seriouscatjoker.jpg']JOKERZ[/a] LAFF AT U? (ke ke ke, fo fo fo, pew pew pew)
C HOW THEY SMILEZ LIKE [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-ceiling-cat-cloud.jpg']LOLCATS IN TEH SKY[/a], SEE HOW [a href='http://cache.io9.com/assets/resources/2008/01/dunecat.jpg']THEY SLIDEZ[/a]
[a href='http://www.innocentenglish.com/funny-pics/lolcats/cute-crying-kitty.jpg']IZ CRYIN[/a]

[a href='http://wordandimage.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/pc.jpg']STEALIN ALL UR INTERNETZ[/a], IN UR PC TOWAH
[a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/funny-pictures-penguin-does-not-have-happy-feet-but-rather-cold-ones.jpg']LITTLE FREEZIN PENGUIN[/a] SINGIN [a href='http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-hippos-sing-harmony.jpg']HARMONEEZ[/a]
OMG! U SHOULDZ SEE TEH [a href='http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/8092/funnypicturescateatsravqz4.jpg']EATIN EDGAR ALLEN POE[/a]
I R TEH EGGMAN (pew), THEY R TEH EGGMEN (pew), [a href='http://n2.cdn.spikedhumor.com/1/536000/126822_walrus_1.jpg']I R TEH WALRUS[/a]
PEW PEW RAWR PEW RAWR [a href='http://mirror.servut.us/kuvat/meinung/badass_lazerz_-_pew_pew_pew.jpg']PEW PEW RAWR PEW[/a]

*does the [a href=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main.SlowClap]slow clap[/a]*

*speechless* *bow*

 

[Mana Fiend]

The first few lines of The Iliad, but Lolmer.

Original (and by original I mean a translation by Martin Hammond): Sing, goddess, of the anger of Achilleus, son of Peleus, the accursed anger uncounted anguish on the Achaians and hurled down to Hades many mighty souls of heroes, making their bodies the prey to dogs and the birds' feasting: and this was the working of Zeus' will. Sing from the time of the first quarrel which divided Atreus' son, the lord of men, and godlike Achilleus.

Translation: SIN, GODDESZ, OV TEH ANGR OF ACHILLEUZ, SON OV PELEUZ, TEH ACCURSED ANGR UNCOUNTED ANGUISH ON TEH ACHAIANZ AND HURLED DOWN T HADEZ MANY MITEY SOULZ OF HEROEZ, MAKIN THEIR BODIEZ TEH PREY TO DOGZ AND TEH BIRDZ FEASTIN: AND THIZ WAZ TEH WORKINS OV ZEUZ WILL. SINS FROM TEH TIME OF TEH FIRST QUARREL WHICH DIVIDED ATREUZ SON, TEH LORD OF MEN, AND GODLIEK ACHILLEUZ.

 

[coldfrog]

IZ IN UR MILITARY HOSPTL
CNSORIN UR MAEL
I SIN "KITTEH IRVIN" OR "IRVIN KITTEH"
I CAN HAZ SNOWDENZ?

 

[rogueshadows]

Oh my fucking god this is the gayest thing ever. And I thought that Doctor Who dude was cool. You too Labyrinth.

Satire is best served on the end of a red-hot poker.

devnitly

Lets make an already incomprehensible poem even more confusing.

Spoiler: The Jabberwocky By Lewis Carroll

`TWAZ BRILLIG, AND TEH SLITHY TOVEZ,
DID GYRE AND GIMBLE IN TEH WABE:
ALL MIMSY WERE TEH BOROGOVEZ,
AND TEH MUM RATHZ OUTGRABE.

"BEWIS TEH JABBERWOCK, MAH SON!
TEH JAWZ THAT BITE, TEH CLAWZ THAT CATCH!
BEWR TEH JUBJUB BIRD, AND SHUN
TEH FRUMIOUZ BANDERSNATCH!"

HE TOK HIZ VORPAL SWORD IN HAND:
LONG TIME TEH MANXUM FOE HE SOUGHT--
SO RESTED HE BY TEH TUMTUM TREE,
AND STOOD AWHILE IN THOUGHT.

AND, AZ IN UFFISH THOUGHT HE STOOD,
TEH JABBERWOCK, WITH EYEZ OF FLAME,
CAME WHIFFLIN THROUGH TEH TULGEY WOOD,
AND BURBLED AZ IT CAME!

ONE, TWO! ONE, TWO! AND THROUGH AND THROUGH
TEH VORPAL BLADE WENT SNICKR-SNACK!
HE LEFT IT DEDD, AND WITH ITZ HEDD,
HE WENT GALUMFIN BACK.

"AND, HAZ THOU SLAIN TEH JABBERWOCK?
CUM TO MUH ARMZ, MAH BEAMISH BOY!
O FRABJOUZ DAY! CALLOOH! CALLAY!
HE CHORTLED IN HIZ JOY.

`TWAZ BRILLIG, AND TEH SLITHY TOVEZ,
DID GYRE AND GIMBLE IN TEH WABE;
ALL MIMSY WERE TEH BOROGOVEZ,
AND TEH MUM RATHZ OUTGRABE.

wiel i iz applawd u choyz ov mateereeal, so mush moar cood b dun.

Hamlol
A ROFL in 5 copters

-------------

2 BE, ORLY NOT 2 BE, DAT IS TEH Q-
WETHER TIS NOBLER 2 HAZ MIND SUFFER
TEH SLINGS AND ARRERS OF MOAARRRR MONIEZ,
OR 2 TAK UP PEW PEW LAZERS ON TEH C IN TRUBBLE!

AN BI PEW PEW DONE THEM, 2 DED, 2 SLEEP
NO MOARRR; AND BI A SLEEP 2 CAN WE END
TEH BUTTHURT AND OVER 9000! LOLS
DAT BODIEZ IZ HAZ ALL DER TIME- TIS A SADFACE

o nose! u beetz me 2 eet!

Tu b, r nawt tu b! dat beez teh kweschun:
iv izz koolrer in teh heid to suffrin
Teh rokks n stiks ov autraijus phortoon,
r tu pwnage srsly lots an lots trubblz,
n by pwning pwn dem? deded: sleebin;
No wai! n awl teh sleebin dededz awl
teh oh noes n teh 1000 crazy omgs
dat lolcats haves to has, iz a awsmnes
srsly I can has? deded, sleebin;
sleebin: can has dreemxorz? dat beezt prawblm;
liek wen yu sleebz liek ded wat dreemz u gets
Wen u has totally combleetli deded,
maek u fink: omg deres no luv
Dat maekz prawblemz ov rly old cats;
For wat noob wants beez pwnaged bai tiem
Wen teh lolcat miet b happi lolz
Wif beezing deded? wat lolcat wud wants
Tu grrrr adn skritch at prawblmz in hiz lyf,
ehsept he phear sumtin afta dedness,
Teh rlyrly skary plaiz frum witsh
No lolcat cums bak, pzzlz teh cat
An maeks teh cat purrfur teh tings he gots
den goez finding udders he neva knowd?
Tuhs conshens iz maek stoopidz ov uz awl;
N tuhs teh uzual shaep ov rezulooshun
Iz blarghed wiv awl teh witennes ov think,
Adn enterprezentz ov amazin koolenz
Wiv tihs shaep tehyr currenz trn awry,
An looz teh naem ov Akshunkitteh.

Kthxbai.

 

[Ultrajoe]

I think people are confusing 'Lolcatify something' with 'Run something through a translator'.

It's a style, not a cypher. This is aimed at nobody in particular.

 

[TobyMobias]

Spoiler: Sgt. Peppers

IT WAZ 20 YRZ AGO 2DAI
DAT SGT PPR TAWT TEH BAND 2 PLAI
WELL IT WAZ GOIN N N OUT UF STYL
BUT DEZ GARANTEED 2 STAI A WYL

SO LEMME NTRODUZ 2 JOO,
SGT PPRZ LONLI HARTZ CLUB BAND...

 

[742]

Root and I were trading these back and forth a while back, and we always meant to thread it up, so here it is.

Take a famous(or at least famous to you) passage of literature, poetry, or prose, and lolcat it all to hell. Like this:

Spoiler: The LOLsong of J. Alfred Prufrock

DISTURB THE UNIVURSE--SRSLY?
I CAN HAZ PEACH?
IM IN UR WHITE FLANNUL TROWZERS
WALKIN ON UR BEACH

THE MERMADES SINGING - I HEARS THEM
I DO NOT THINK THEY SAY "O HAI!" TO ME.

Shakespeare? Dickens? William Burroughs? Jane Austen? Go for it. I dare ya.

And root, if you don't post to this, you are a punk.

someone needs to either kill you, very quickly, or make a religion around you. im not sure which. oh screw it, if there is a god im going to hell anyway just for quoting this, i may as well hope your it. im not very good at this, but here goes. time to channel my inner /B/tard

TEH GEYZORS CAN HAZ THREE ROFL NO ROOF NUB,
SEVEN IZ TEH SHORT THEY HAZ ROKS,
PPL CAN HAZ NINE LULZ DEAD NUB,
ONE FOR ROFL NUB CHAIR LULZ,
MORDOR IZ TEH FAIL NO LIGHTS IZ SHOPPED.
ONE IZ TEH PWNZORZ U. IT IZ IN UR BASE FINDIN UR RING U IZ IN MORDOR IT PWNZ U LULZ.

i need to go take a shower with steel wool, and then maybe set myself on fire. i feel unclean.

 

[iron codpiece]

As I walks tru da belly of da shado of deff
I takes looks at muh lyfe
And I nos eberythin is gone
Cuase I been epic winnin? and laffin 4evah
Even mommy thinks I go cwazy
?
Teel me y r kittez
so blind to see
Da kittez we hurts
R u and muh?
Weee been spendin ar hole lifes
Libbin in a kittez pwn-adise

...
Okay I suck at this