A Senior Dating an 8th Grader

[JMeganSnow]

Eurgh...I'm surprised the 8th grader has hit puberty.

I hit puberty in 6th grade.

I don't find it particularly weird or creepy. Everybody likes to have somebody they can talk to. If that somebody is of the opposite sex a crush/infatuation often occurs. I wouldn't worry about it.

But by all means keep teasing them, just don't be mean-spirited about it.

 

[Furious Styles]

Bit weird, but so long as its healthy I suppose its okay. That is about the limit, though.

 

[Yarkaz]

I've always thought that while an age gap like that isn't a huge deal at higher ages, it just isn't right in the middle-high school years. There's WAY too much of a maturity difference there, as both of their minds are nowhere near finished developing and they're in vastly different ages. Now if your pal was in his thirties or forties and dating a girl four to five years younger... That'd be cool. But as it is, I can't see this ending well at all.

 

[godofslack]

It's actually more common than you might think. Being a high school senior myself and someone who tends to pay very close attention to my surroundings I do gather some information about relationships. I've also been to 4 different High Schools so my data is quite spread out. I've came to the conclusion that, in many cases, older males of mediocre social status tend to date younger women, usually between 8-10th grades, with enough frequency that it is almost surely happening in any given school at any given time. Simply stated, it is a mutual benefit for both parties, the female gaining superior social status, and the male being able to date a female that would, in normal high school dynamics, be "out of his league". It's by no means uncommon and by that benchmark, amoral.

 

[Dorian6]

well 1: talking to someone on xbox live is not the same thing as dating them.

2: He's a high school senior, so that would make him 17-18, and she's in 8th grade making her 13-14. Not only is that really creepy, but in New York where I'm from, and the age of consent is 17, if they ever had sex, it would be considered statutory rape.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Yeah, that's creepy. I mean,

a. They've never actually met, so the fact that they think they're dating is just..odd.
and
b. The girl is either 13 or 14, and either way, that's too young. Standard is half your age plus 7, which in the case of your friend is 16. Tell him to grow up and get a real girlfriend.

 

[Aurgelmir]

Minimum age you can date without seeming creepy= (1/2*your age)+7, so even if the 8th grader is 14, it seems bad. That said, I wouldn't expect this to become serious in any way, so you should just let it play out however it does.

Yeah the half your age plus 7 seems to work relatively well doesn't it? It more or less extends the age back by a little every year, but still keeps it "clean"

a 5 year age difference might not be a lot when people get older, but when one is under the age of consent in most countries then it starts getting a little creepy.

 

[Telemachus]

the half-your-age-plus-7 dating age rule is a pretty good one to follow.
so if your friend is 19, half his age is 9 1/2, plus 7, so thats 16 1/2.
so i think it's a little to much of an age gap.

 

[MisterGobbles]

They haven't seen each other in person. Ever. Therefore they are not dating. Problem solved.

This. You cannot, in fact, date someone if you do not go on dates with them, or at least hang out with them and get to know them.

As for the age difference, I wouldn't be too worried about it being a serious thing. As long as they aren't talking all erotic and shit.

 

[Angerwing]

That's your cousin man. Tell your friend to stop being such a goddamn creeper and leave her alone. He's legally an adult, and as someone else said, she's barely a teen.

 

[EGtodd09]

That's 5 years age difference right? Well it's very uncommon but if they have similar interests (xbox for example) and like each others' personality there's no reason why they couldn't be in a relationship. Long distance almost never works out though.

 

[ElectroJosh]

Is this really a relationship though? I wonder if your friend would even be interested in her if he had met her in real life (because, you know, she would look like a kid). Hopefully he wouldn't. But then again when I was in 7th grade onwards I always found High School seniors hotter (because they actually looked like women which, to a horny teen, is massive). I only was interested in girls my own age when I reached my Junior year (this also explains why I didn't date anyone until that time - not many senior girls like sophomores and/or freshmen).

It is a bit creepy but I wonder if this is even based on a physical attraction or more on the idea of having someone. Did your friend have any prior relationships or is this his first? If this isn't his first were they also a bit younger?

 

[Vern]

Yeah, a senior, 18 years old, dating a 13 or 14 year old in middle school is creepy. Once you get int your twenties a four or five year difference isn't that great, but when you're still developing during teen years it's really creepy. Sounds like a pedophile waiting to happen.

 

[Agayek]

e-Dating is not real dating. There's nothing really wrong with this. I personally find it somewhat weird, but that's more because of the fact that they consider themselves dating when they've never met face to face than the age difference. I mean, I know couples who met online over games, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you can't really consider someone your boyfriend/girlfriend if you don't know what they look like.

 

[Escapist Account]

You have given us no information as to what their relationship is like. You don't describe the way they talk to each other, or about each other, or anything like that. All you say is "they've been dating," which means nothing to me since my definition of a date is dinner and/or a movie and/or "cuddling". Since you say they've never met each other in real life, I have absolutely NO information to go on. As far as I know, they could be simply good friends on Xbox Live, or they could be sexting. I need more information.

Okay, they claim to be bf and gf and they made each others Facebook accounts say that they are in a relationship. Also, they tell each other that they love each other. Every. Single. Day.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

Most, including myself, frown upon a senior dating a freshman. A senior dating a junior high schooler is a slam-dunk case of no.

 

[vic_elor]

Ask your friend if he can score me a Chris Hanson autograph.

It took me a second to get that joke... funny!

 

[Nickompoop]

Your 18 year old friend is pedophile. Unless this 8th grade cousin is pushing 16, (in my opinion, the youngest an 18 year old can date) yeah, you may be friends with a pedophile. Or, he could just be totally desperate and his goal could be to do....inappropriate....things with your cousin.

 

[jonyboy13]

I don't know if I should laugh harder at him or her but I decided at him since he should know better.
Well, like it's been said before, if they didn't meet they don't date. They talk on the interwebz. That's quite pathetic at any case because of the age diffrence. I know that age diffrence doesn't matter but that only applies when you're older. They are from diffrent worlds because of the age so I really don't know what the fuck is wrong with your friend. Just get him a real girlfriend.

 

[Xannieros]

May seem like a huge gap right now, but I know many people who are 6 years+ and married. Biggest gap I know of is like 15 years difference.

As long as nothing "happens" between them until they're both 18+, no issues.