Absolutely Fed Up With The "Men only care about sex" ideology

[InsanityRequiem]

I find what Bill did rather disgusting really. "A lot percentage of guys are raped? Haha, they wanted it." Disgusting really, and the sad this is that it's prevalent amongst many people his age and older (roughly 40+ really). This video is something a lot of people should see, and shows how most men who are sexually abused/raped (Heck, even guys who aren't victims as well) are forced to deal with being a victim of sexual assault/molestation/rape.


Forcibly act all buddy buddy/bro high five, because the "adults" would see you as weak and below human if you didn't.

 

[RaikuFA]

If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.

I'm as peeved as you. Imagine if it had been the other way around. Had he been joking about women being coerced into sex but secretly wanting it, he WOULD be put under fire.

Things I'm even more frustrated by are the frighteningly common notions that "men can't get raped", or "men don't get domestically abused." Both are equally ridiculous, but that's not the scary part. The scary part is that people believe this shit, and wave their hands listlessly at you when you try to tell them different. So far I've gotten the "men don't get punched/sexually abused nearly as often", and (after I've shown them the data that proves otherwise) "well it's still not as bad, because it's worse for women."

For a girl who was partly raised by three brothers that I love more dearly than any other people on earth, I get pissed off as hell when I hear people say shit like that. The reason so many people don't know that men do in fact get used, coerced, beaten, et cetera is because nobody talks about it. Nobody wants to talk about it, because that would be uncomfortable, and we sure wouldn't want that.


Sorry if I got heated. I need to go breathe into a bag now. *scowl*

Yhank you for this. I'm actually one of those guys who was in a emptionally abusive relationship. The girl I was with would actually put me down and say the stuff I liked was dumb but God forbid someone insults Harry Potter or Twilight.

 

[Tsukuyomi]

Anyone here been through one recently? because I remember sex ed . . . was back in 7th grade, around 1998, it was 10 minutes of a teacher going "this is a condom it goes on a penis" and then 3 hours discussing the process of birth. Yep, that's going to teach us everything we need to know about the chances of pregnancy from unprotected sex and that sex is not a social achievement to be awarded and a reason for scorn if not attained by the end of highschool (seriously that whole idea about graduating a virgin being somehow bad is confusing as all hell).

See, the sad part here is that it's not just confusing, it does major fucking damage in some cases. I can't count the amount of times I've been ashamed, or made to feel ashamed, that I am in my late 20s and still a virgin. The media loves shaming me, my friends give me a hard time about it, and it's generally hanging over my head quite a bit. Right up there with being a very large geek.

Now it's not that I don't want sex. I'm all for that. I think about it reasonably often when I have nothing more pressing to think about like work, college, bills, etc. There's days when all I want is to get laid.

But there's also days when that's the FARTHEST thing from my mind, and it's not because I have other worries. I'm just...not interested. There's also times and places where my sex drive takes a backseat to what's going on. I don't window-shop at work, or in class, or at other events where others might. Working is for work, class is for class. I actually like to think I have a good amount of control over my sex-drive. (something that was confirmed by past girlfriends I've had)

I don't WANT to be one of those guys who is obsessed only with sex, but the mixed signals I get from my mind, my body, and the world around me are very difficult to untangle at times.

I want sex, and that's okay, right? but it's also not because I shouldn't want just that? Just go out and get a girlfriend? But it's not fair to her for me to want her just because of that. I could find some girl who doesn't care, but isn't that dangerous and sends a bad impression?

The whole thing is a mess and I dunno about anyone else but personally I'd appreciate less condemnation and confusion.

 

[OtherSideofSky]

I despise that stereotype. It's caused me a great deal of personal annoyance because I am a man with fairly low libido and find myself sexually attracted to very few people, women or otherwise. I have also seen it used to belittle and deny help to male victims of sexual assault or harassment I have known.

Additionally, I find the piece in question to be lacking both in creative humor and in artistic merit.

 

[Haukur Isleifsson]

This is f***ing disgusting and Mr. Maher should be ashamed of himself. He is basically laughing at the rape of young boys and the f***ing audience is bursting with laughter to. What the f*** is wrong with this f***ing society. F***!!!

I'm sorry, I really am. It's just... this is so damn sad and infuriating.

But can we please, for the love of all that is good, not pretend like this is somehow a result of feminism.

 

[Lynx]

See, the sad part here is that it's not just confusing, it does major fucking damage in some cases. I can't count the amount of times I've been ashamed, or made to feel ashamed, that I am in my late 20s and still a virgin. The media loves shaming me, my friends give me a hard time about it, and it's generally hanging over my head quite a bit. Right up there with being a very large geek.

[...]

The whole thing is a mess and I dunno about anyone else but personally I'd appreciate less condemnation and confusion.

I can relate a little to what you're saying. I had severe anxiety about losing my virginity as a teenager, even though I'm a girl and according to societal standards it's more "okay" for me to wait a little longer. Still, I often felt like people were looking down on me for it. In the end, I think I was the more mature one, because I waited until I found someone I was comfortable with instead of sacrificing my own standards for the sake of people who don't know shit anyway.


Here's all I really want to say: so long as you're not hurting anyone, the rest of the world has absolutely NOTHING to do with your sex life. It is nobody's business except yours, and your potential partners. People who think they have a right to butt in on the most intimate aspects of your privacy are nothing but ignorant and rude. It's called "privacy of the bedroom" for a reason. The only one who knows anything about what is right for you is you. Anyone who tries to convince you differently can respectfully f*** off.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Thread not about sex so don't care.

No in all seriousness, I don't get the stereotype either. I don't know of anyone whom this actually applies to.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

I fucking hate this sexist stereotype. Even more so because I'm bisexual and apparently all we do is have sex with everyone all day. That or not exist. It's isn't 'men' think about sex more or 'women' think about sex more, it is just some people think of sex more than others regardless of sex or gender. I have friends I'm not sexually attracted to and I like being with my girlfriend for far more reasons than being sexually attracted to her, being sexually attracted to her isn't the most important reason. Don't even get me started on people who say men can't be raped or that they would like it. I hate that shit.

There is sexism against males and females, both need to be tackled and neither should be ignored.

 

[Amaror]

I think you have it confused. The stereotype isn't necessarily all men think about IS sex. But that we think about sex A LOT. A significant degree more that our female counterparts. Maher made a generalization and the thing about a generalization is that you don't need everyone to adhere to it. Perhaps some men don't like unwanted sex. But I'm pretty sure MOST would and that's all a generalization needs in order to be right.

I don't want to offend you, but that sentence sounds kindof stupid.
No, most men wouldn't want UNWANTED sex. The very definition of UNWANTED Sex is that it's sex the person does NOT want.
Many men wouldn't mind being used for sex, but that's not unwanted sex.

 

[Signa]

I despise that stereotype. It's caused me a great deal of personal annoyance because I am a man with fairly low libido and find myself sexually attracted to very few people, women or otherwise. I have also seen it used to belittle and deny help to male victims of sexual assault or harassment I have known.

Additionally, I find the piece in question to be lacking both in creative humor and in artistic merit.

Oddly, I'm much like you, but I find the stereotype comical. I know it doesn't apply to me, but I accept it as a comical truth for many.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

When you think about all the teenage pregnancies that go about you'd assume boys DO want sex but then you realise the the girls have sex with older men at a higher percentage. That assumption leads to things like rape ad being pressured into sex.

 

[SoulkeeperX]

I agree, but welcome to feminized America, if women are offended by something then it's a big deal that needs to be dealt with, but if men are offended by it, they're told to just man up

 

[Animyr]

What was the percentage for women?

 

[InsanityRequiem]

What was the percentage for women?

I don't know if it's changed, but the reports and statistics say 1 in 4 young women are sexually assaulted. So roughly 25% of young women (Roughly 15-25 I guess) are violated. This statistic that Bill joke about points out that nearly 1 in 2 young men (15-25) are sexually assaulted. Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

 

[Uhura]

I'm pretty sure it was here on the Escapist that someone posted a link to an article where new anchors laughed at a video of a man being raped in (I think) China. If I remember rightly, somebody filmed a drunk woman overpowering a drunk man and raping him, despite pleas to stop. The clip wasn't graphic, as it was part of a news broadcast. But it was presented as one of those final joke stories, and the anchors took the piss and giggled and such. I'm probably exaggerating, but I don't think so. The comments in the link (not the Escapist thread) were as you'd expect; "I bet he enjoyed it."

I think the Escapist thread also had some of those "he got an erection so he must have wanted it" comments. Ughh. People need better sex-ed.

 

[mecegirl]

Exactly this.
This stereotype has always frustrated me. As someone with a lot of male friends, you wouldn't believe how many times I've heard `LOL they're only your friends cause they want to shag you!`. Yeah, cause men can't actually enjoy a woman's company at all, they're just ruled by the downstairs brain.

I'm not even going to TALK about the disgusting comments that get left on articles about male victims of sexual assault.

Sadly, I think this stupid stereotype just gets repeated all too often that it has pretty much everyone buying into it, even men when talking about themselves.

High school was so messed up. I made a lot of male friends because of my interests and shortly after each new friend I made someone had to ask if we were dating... It was so awkward, and like I could see it on their faces so I know they saw it on mine, that "I like you but not in a romantic way and I don't want to hurt your feelings by objecting to the idea of us dating too strongly." At least that stopped happening in college.

Really it's a toss up, no one is romantically interested in everyone they hang out with. Through out my life some of my guy friends were interested in me, but the majority of them wasn't.

http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/

Recently, I saw a video pertaining to the fact that 43% of young men say they suffer from having unwanted sex with women. Bill Maher made a parody of it, making fun of the idea that men would like it anyway because they're men. I'm sick and disgusted by this and frankly, I wish people like Bill would be put under fire for this. It's gross and the website that I have posted makes it even worse by saying "You know all those stories we hear about women teachers taking sexual advantage of some poor teenage boy? I have always wondered who it is that gets all upset and calls the police. One can pretty much cancel out the boy and his father. Come on Mom, lighten up."

If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.

BTW, I don't care if it's comedy. It's not right.

But I was just wondering your opinions on this because I'm a little peeved at the moment.

I feel like the whole "guys only think about sex" thing is an excuse for misogynistic men. They have issues controlling themselves and their urges, or they just don't want too. And so they spread the lie that it's a guy problem in order to cover their asses. Some of them are probably unaware that they do it. It just pops out whenever they want to justify certain behaviors.

Anyway, your post reminded me of this old rant.
http://www.thetalentshow.org/2005/06/17/i-am-not-my-cock/

 

[suitepee7]

but if that stereotype gets taken away, how can i be a smug superior asshole when i prove it wrong?

joking aside, i've always disliked that about UK law, how women cannot commit rape. it is charged and sentenced the same (that is, if there is a conviction, but that's a whole different issue itself), but it still falls under sexual assault, not rape.

-snip-

no idea when it was, but i do remember seeing something very similar a couple of years back. i'd advise you to stay away from mmo champion, every single time a rape or underage sex story comes up, well over half just quote south park 'niceeeee' every time...

 

[Brian Tams]

"You know all those stories we hear about women teachers taking sexual advantage of some poor teenage boy? I have always wondered who it is that gets all upset and calls the police. One can pretty much cancel out the boy and his father. Come on Mom, lighten up."

That is fucked up. Bill Maher did this? Wow, I thought that guy was out of touch after his "not black enough" fiasco, sure, but this is way more serious than I thought. Is he going senile?

 

[Erttheking]

Yup, no argument from this end. Got royally pissed off when someone argued to me that laws against female teachers having sex with make students only existed to prevent double standards.