Absolutely Fed Up With The "Men only care about sex" ideology

[Muspelheim]

I agree, but welcome to feminized America, if women are offended by something then it's a big deal that needs to be dealt with, but if men are offended by it, they're told to just man up

Yes, and that's all the feminist's fault.

If only we did not deal with either scenario.

 

[Ratty]

http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/

Recently, I saw a video pertaining to the fact that 43% of young men say they suffer from having unwanted sex with women. Bill Maher made a parody of it, making fun of the idea that men would like it anyway because they're men. I'm sick and disgusted by this and frankly, I wish people like Bill would be put under fire for this. It's gross and the website that I have posted makes it even worse by saying "You know all those stories we hear about women teachers taking sexual advantage of some poor teenage boy? I have always wondered who it is that gets all upset and calls the police. One can pretty much cancel out the boy and his father. Come on Mom, lighten up."

If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.

BTW, I don't care if it's comedy. It's not right.

But I was just wondering your opinions on this because I'm a little peeved at the moment.

Bill Maher also said he was totally ok with piracy until it (supposedly) affected his work personally.[footnote]Really he was just blaming piracy for the poor performance of his shitty movie.[/footnote] And then he supported SOPA. But making victim-blaming jokes about child abuse? That's just beyond the pale. Fuck that guy.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

but if that stereotype gets taken away, how can i be a smug superior asshole when i prove it wrong?

joking aside, i've always disliked that about UK law, how women cannot commit rape. it is charged and sentenced the same (that is, if there is a conviction, but that's a whole different issue itself), but it still falls under sexual assault, not rape.

It's up there with stuff like assault and murder, more often than not a woman can attack a man with a deadly weapon almost succeed with killing him but be only charged with Assault With a Deadly Weapon, switch the genders it's Attempted Murder.
Punishment is more lenient for women. (Or just the "Justice" System in general)

 

[MrMixelPixel]

We can enjoy your (females) company but, we still want to shag you. The thought never really goes away.

I dunno, I don't really buy that.
You want to shag every single female you're friends with, regardless of her looks, personality, etc?
Not to mention, most of my friends are either in steady relationships or directly related to my boyfriend, so that would just be weird.

I made a generalization. You can't take a generalization and then apply it to the maxim and expect it to hold true. Do I want to have sex with EVERY female friend I have, not necessarily. But has the thought crossed my mind? If I were given the opportunity to have sex with such a friend would I take it? Those are the questions I'm referring to. Most guys would, if given the opportunity to, would have sex with their so called "friend". No matter how close we get, even if we are in other relationships the thought of having sex, with different women, doesn't go away.

I don't think you're painting an accurate picture here. Do most hetero-males have thoughts about bangin' their female friends? I'd guess that's true, it's a hard thought to avoid, though it doesn't rule their every decision (not saying you said or implied that). I'm sure many men, if they were offered a sex by a female friend (who was actually their friend) would decline for a variety of reasons. It's true that the thought of having sex with women doesn't go away for many of us, but the actual desire to make it a reality is far different.

 

[Someone Depressing]

It's when it's to justify abuse and sexual assault, when it becomes something worse than just a hit-and-a-miss and it missed joke that is very sensitive to some people.

Then it becomes a woman toying with a man or teenager's sexuality for her own pleasure.

 

[funnydude6556]

http://rackjite.com/bill-maher-psa-horror-women-using-men-sex/

Recently, I saw a video pertaining to the fact that 43% of young men say they suffer from having unwanted sex with women. Bill Maher made a parody of it, making fun of the idea that men would like it anyway because they're men. I'm sick and disgusted by this and frankly, I wish people like Bill would be put under fire for this. It's gross and the website that I have posted makes it even worse by saying "You know all those stories we hear about women teachers taking sexual advantage of some poor teenage boy? I have always wondered who it is that gets all upset and calls the police. One can pretty much cancel out the boy and his father. Come on Mom, lighten up."

If we are going to stop women abuse and sexualization the least we could do is stop telling the men that all they do is think of sex and that being sexually coerced isn't a bad thing for men.

BTW, I don't care if it's comedy. It's not right.

But I was just wondering your opinions on this because I'm a little peeved at the moment.

I just get annoyed that some women treat us men as if we're already guilty of all the bad things that a small minority of men are capable of. I personally feel like we're in this age where it's only ok for bad things to happen to men and if we speak up about it then we're being childish and lying in order to protect our own interests. Yes a lot of industries are still male dominated, what this all draws down to is I don't want to be treated like every other bad guy out there.

That men only care about sex crap is insulting to me. Why is it ok to paint all men under the same brush yet doing the very same thing to women is sexist? Why is it whenever we men point something out that seems unfair we're always made to feel like we have to explain how we're not doing so to be sexist towards women, I mean I can't be the only guy who points something out and is just terrified of being branded as a misogynist.

 

[Animyr]

Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

And who was doing the violating?

 

[V4Viewtiful]

Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

And who was doing the violating?

probably more men raping boys than women but then as demonstrated Women having sex with boys (with the physical capability) isn't considered such :/

 

[InsanityRequiem]

Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

And who was doing the violating?

Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

And who was doing the violating?

probably more men raping boys than women but then as demonstrated Women having sex with boys (with the physical capability) isn't considered such :/

Here's the report about men being victims: http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-a0035915.pdf

Reading it, I find the sample size too small to get real conclusions (If they interviewed at least 2,000 or more I'd be fine with it) but it's a small start. The report says 95% of the perpetrators were women, not men.

 

[wulfy42]

I have some pretty screwed up people in my family, and I can say that there are certainly women that abuse men and children, both sexually and otherwise. I would say it's worse for the men because there is far less support for them, if any...and in many cases the guys that are being abused are not the complaining type and just live with it.

Don't get me wrong, abuse in any form, by anyone to anyone else is horrible. As an example my grandmother abused all of her children when my grandfather left her (and them). She was used to be taken care of and took her anger out on them (and later me as well. Because of the way the world works even as young adults nobody ever stepped in for my mother/relatives, and the only reason it stopped for me is she eventually died when I was around 10 years old.

I do think there is a HUGE difference between having consenting sex with someone who has gone through puberty already, and doing things to them against their will or that they don't like or want...and I think that difference should be VERY apparent in the penalties that are applied for being caught. I also think there should be WAY more information out there for younger kids. I think there already is way more then when I was young (30 years ago or so)...with the internet, tv etc...so that is something..but perhaps even having some kind of school activities or have police come to the schools or something and inform (especially younger) children that it's not ok for anyone to hurt them or abuse them.

I think it also comes down to how children treat each other as well. Boys often deal with more physical abuse (at least they did when I was young) from other children...so getting abused at home....at least for me I was getting abused everywhere..both at home and at/after school etc. I didn't complain or tell and that seemed to be a green light for some children back then.

Anyway, I don't really think 30 year old women sleeping with an 18 year old is a horrible travesty, but I don't think it's something to ignore either, especially if the women is a teacher. If nothing else, I'd say any such teacher should not be allowed to teach anymore children (Although perhaps allowing them to go into administration instead might be a less harsh penalty). I don't really consider 18 year olds children though still, so if it's consental sex...then I think there are bigger things to worry about.

 

[Steve Waltz]

Wow, am I alone here? Man, this stereotype is so insignificant, flossing my teeth is more important.

It's a trivial stereotype and, in my eyes, anyone that gets offended by trivial stereotypes is way too sensitive. It reminds me of that old saying "Sticks and stones break my bones." There are some stereotypes *that* can affect your life negatively, such as that sickening 'all Muslims are terrorists' and other stereotypes that can lead to discrimination (e.g. airport security). But honestly, the stereotype 'men are horn dogs' has NEVER deterred a woman from being my friend, as far as I know (and anyone that lets that stupid stereotype deter them from getting a male friend isn't worth being friends IMO). Seriously, it's never once made an impact on my life in anyway, even in the slightest way imaginable. There are some serious stereotypes out there than can genuinely cause discrimination for people, but instead men are on the internet complaining about stereotypes as insignificant as 'Brits have bad teeth' or 'Americans are fat.' Some do, some don't; why on Earth are you letting it get to you?

As for a 30 year old teacher sleeping with an 18 year old boy: He's legal, she's legal -- What's the problem? As long as it's not illegal it's absolutely no one else's business. The police and the parents need to stay out of his sexual life if it's consensual and they're both legal age.

Oh, and I saw the video on that link in the OP and I thought it was absolutely hysterical. It's absolutely DEPRESSING that there are men in the world that get's upset by a video like that.

 

[InsanityRequiem]

Wow, am I alone here? Man, this stereotype is so insignificant, flossing my teeth is more important.

It's a trivial stereotype and, in my eyes, anyone that gets offended by trivial stereotypes is way too sensitive. It reminds me of that old saying "Sticks and stones break my bones." There are some stereotypes *that* can affect your life negatively, such as that sickening 'all Muslims are terrorists' and other stereotypes that can lead to discrimination (e.g. airport security). But honestly, the stereotype 'men are horn dogs' has NEVER deterred a woman from being my friend, as far as I know (and anyone that lets that stupid stereotype deter them from getting a male friend isn't worth being friends IMO). Seriously, it's never once made an impact on my life in anyway, even in the slightest way imaginable. There are some serious stereotypes out there than can genuinely cause discrimination for people, but instead men are on the internet complaining about stereotypes as insignificant as 'Brits have bad teeth' or 'Americans are fat.' Some do, some don't; why on Earth are you letting it get to you?

As for a 30 year old teacher sleeping with an 18 year old boy: He's legal, she's legal -- What's the problem? As long as it's not illegal it's absolutely no one else's business. The police and the parents need to stay out of his sexual life if it's consensual and they're both legal age.

You're reading the wrong thing about the stereotype for two reasons.

Reason 1: the stereotype is used to justify a crime and shame the victim. Would you say that a female rape victim deserves to be raped because she wore an outfit that showed maybe an inch too much skin? Would you say that a female sexual abuse victim deserved it because she's a woman and "Woman should not talk back"? That's the main issue. Men, victims of crimes such as rape and sexual abuse, are nigh constantly told that they wanted it/deserved it because they're men and as men "They wanted it, because men want sex".

Reason 2: the issue with a teacher and student having sex is an automatic abuse of power and will be seen as that. Age does not matter when a teacher and a student have sex in most cases (The only time is when its a teacher for elementary/middle/high school, ages 4-17). If the student wasn't in that school for two or more years (pre-college), then it doesn't matter. If the student was never in the teacher's class (college/university), then it doesn't matter. But the moment that the student and teacher are in the same class, power roles come into play and that is why it is wrong. Same if a high ranking officer in the military/police has a sexual relationship with someone in their unit. Same if a boss has a sexual relationship with an employee in their department. If they were in no contact prior to their sexual relationship, it would have no impact, but it is strictly because they broke the rules of conduct there is a problem.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

And who was doing the violating?

Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

And who was doing the violating?

probably more men raping boys than women but then as demonstrated Women having sex with boys (with the physical capability) isn't considered such :/

Here's the report about men being victims: http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-a0035915.pdf

Reading it, I find the sample size too small to get real conclusions (If they interviewed at least 2,000 or more I'd be fine with it) but it's a small start. The report says 95% of the perpetrators were women, not men.

rape by coercion seemed slantered towards women offenders it seems.

That seems... feasible.

I mean growing up I heard all the time about women getting boys to do many things like fight another bloke over lies (my dad and uncles and brother), so this-that type of rape I find understandable. I think you're right about the numbers though.

I know single parent homes are a breading ground for this stuff, not by the parent but by their latest lay and the parents turn a blind eye because they want that person more than they love the child

I have some pretty screwed up people in my family, and I can say that there are certainly women that abuse men and children, both sexually and otherwise. I would say it's worse for the men because there is far less support for them, if any...and in many cases the guys that are being abused are not the complaining type and just live with it.

Don't get me wrong, abuse in any form, by anyone to anyone else is horrible. As an example my grandmother abused all of her children when my grandfather left her (and them). She was used to be taken care of and took her anger out on them (and later me as well. Because of the way the world works even as young adults nobody ever stepped in for my mother/relatives, and the only reason it stopped for me is she eventually died when I was around 10 years old.

I hear a lot about the american justice systems approach to child abuse and child protection in general by relatives and some who know the law better. A man who misses child support once can go to prison for 3 months (or more) and are expected to pay and lose his visiting rights altogether while a mother who is abusive to her children can be arrested and be released on the same day and still keep her children.

It's a mad world we live in.

 

[shootthebandit]

What gets me is societie's double standards. Young men are encouraged to sleep with as many women as possible where as young women as seen as sluts if they do the same. Society still hasnt fully moved on from biblical times where women are pure.

Women if you want to sleep with a guy you met once on a drunken night then why not. Why should society put shame on you for enjoying yourself. The 'walk of shame' should be the 'stride of pride'. Guys if you dont want to sleep around and you want to wait then thats pretty noble and respectable.

Sure most guys think a lot about sex. Its a pretty primitive instinct thats hardwired into the brain but its how we act on it that counts. You dont go around raping people and to a lesser extent you dont use people or take advantage of people for sex. Provided both parties consent and know if its a one night stand or something more then its ok. If you promise someone a relationship then dont call them back you are a dick

 

[V4Viewtiful]

Reason 2: the issue with a teacher and student having sex is an automatic abuse of power and will be seen as that. Age does not matter when a teacher and a student have sex in most cases (The only time is when its a teacher for elementary/middle/high school, ages 4-17). If the student wasn't in that school for two or more years (pre-college), then it doesn't matter. If the student was never in the teacher's class (college/university), then it doesn't matter. But the moment that the student and teacher are in the same class, power roles come into play and that is why it is wrong. Same if a high ranking officer in the military/police has a sexual relationship with someone in their unit. Same if a boss has a sexual relationship with an employee in their department. If they were in no contact prior to their sexual relationship, it would have no impact, but it is strictly because they broke the rules of conduct there is a problem.

Actually I've heard of this case where a Teacher has sex with one of his girl (she was of age and it was consensual) and she committed suicide. He went to prison for 30 days but when he was sentence people they petitioned for a retrial to get a new sentence.

 

[Darth Rosenberg]

I... don't really get the controversy at all, and thought - up until the pejorative use of the word pussy - it was generally quite funny.

 

[Broderick]

What was the percentage for women?

I don't know if it's changed, but the reports and statistics say 1 in 4 young women are sexually assaulted. So roughly 25% of young women (Roughly 15-25 I guess) are violated. This statistic that Bill joke about points out that nearly 1 in 2 young men (15-25) are sexually assaulted. Twice as many young men are violated compared to young women.

Sorry to jump in here, but from what I understand, the 1/4 rape/sexual assault statistic is inaccurate, and the original "research" done to come to that conclusion was heavily biased if not outright lying. I will see if I can find one of my sources, but just researching "1 in 4 rape statistic debunked" results in a plethora of links. Of course sexual assault and rape is horrible, and I wish no one to go through such an experience, but I believe the 1/4 statistic is horribly inaccurate.

As for the topic at hand. Yeah, it is a little annoying that the ideology of men only wanting sex is so prevalent. I am lucky to be friends with a lot of women who know otherwise however. Granted, there are many men who think with their penis instead of their brain, but that is to be expected, especially in young, hormonal teens.

 

[Shocksplicer]

I definitely don't just care about sex.
Right now I'm trying to figure out how to break up with a girl who's crazy for me but for whom I realised a little too late that I don't have feelings.
This is gonna suck...

 

[Steve Waltz]

You're reading the wrong thing about the stereotype for two reasons.

Reason 1: the stereotype is used to justify a crime and shame the victim. Would you say that a female rape victim deserves to be raped because she wore an outfit that showed maybe an inch too much skin? Would you say that a female sexual abuse victim deserved it because she's a woman and "Woman should not talk back"? That's the main issue. Men, victims of crimes such as rape and sexual abuse, are nigh constantly told that they wanted it/deserved it because they're men and as men "They wanted it, because men want sex".

Reason 2: the issue with a teacher and student having sex is an automatic abuse of power and will be seen as that. Age does not matter when a teacher and a student have sex in most cases (The only time is when its a teacher for elementary/middle/high school, ages 4-17). If the student wasn't in that school for two or more years (pre-college), then it doesn't matter. If the student was never in the teacher's class (college/university), then it doesn't matter. But the moment that the student and teacher are in the same class, power roles come into play and that is why it is wrong. Same if a high ranking officer in the military/police has a sexual relationship with someone in their unit. Same if a boss has a sexual relationship with an employee in their department. If they were in no contact prior to their sexual relationship, it would have no impact, but it is strictly because they broke the rules of conduct there is a problem.

I wish I could post my response to Reason 1, but it's *borderline* on the "No Perverted Remarks" rules (talking about men getting rape) so I'd prefer to send my response to that point in a PM, if you don't mind. I did my best to keep it clean, but I can't be sure if it was enough to for it to be public and I'd rather safe than sorry. If you find it offensive I apologize in advance. Still I would like to respond to that civilly because I am curious.


But as for your second point, and this will most certainly make me sound like either a jerk or a sappy romantic weenie (or both), but I just don't care. I remember when I was 16 on my first job I would have done anything to be with my boss - Consequences be damned (I never say that anymore, but I was a teenager at the time so I didn't know better, [Oh yea, and 16 in the legal age for consent in the state I grew up]). I can see the point you're trying to make, but I really don't care. I wouldn't do it because it's probably more trouble than it's worth, but I say if a secretary wants to go with her boss, or a teacher wants to go with her student then I say go for it (as long as everyone's an adult). I say go for it as long as they're ready to face the consequences of their actions. I'm sorry if that's immature, meeting an argument with "I don't care," but I honestly don't think it's an issue as long as they take responsibilities for their reckless choices. It's tap-dancing on glass and I sure wouldn't do it, but they're into each other than go for it (as long as everyone's an adult).