Age gaps in relationships, how much is too much?

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sopherera

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Jan 16, 2011
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Below 18 and all age differences above 2 years seems weird. Just looking back at how you used to be at that age just makes it wrong. Ofc there are exceptions, but generally it appears pretty wrong.
 

Tyrant T100

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Aug 19, 2009
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Depends entirely on the age really. If one of them is still in their teens I would be totally against one being much older but a few years causes no harm if they're both over the age of consent.
That's why it's bad before then because the older male will typically try and force the girl to have sex.
However once the girls 18 and the male may be a few years older I really don't see any harm in it as she should be mentally mature enough then to make the right choices.
 

AgDr_ODST

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Oct 22, 2009
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Im 20 and I was/am interested in this girl who's 16 or 17 and according to most anyone I ask (including me when im thinking to myself) the idea of me and her dating would be abit of a stretch due to the age gap. That ontop of the fact that A) I don't think her mother is letting her date yet and B) im atleast halfway sure shes not interested in me the way I am into her.
 

Paksenarrion

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Mar 13, 2009
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It's weird. I'm 5 years older than my bf, but I look 5 years younger than him.

People mistake me for some kind of loli death machine...
 

hashinta

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Oct 18, 2008
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gellert1984 said:
Metalhandkerchief said:
(Age of consent in Japan is 12????)
Those maps are out of date, japan changed there legislation due to pressure from the US, you have to be married now.

Also I'd spoiler them pics if I were you.
They did have a change of legislation but I have no idea where you heard that you had to be married. It's been changed so that the age of consent is still varied between prefectures however both parties have to be within an age limit ie no 30yo's bonking 13yo's.
 

dbmountain

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Feb 24, 2010
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In my opinion, as long as both members of the relationship are above the age of 20, there are no age boundaries. At this age, the differences physical and mental maturity are negligible. In contrast, if you regard a relationship between say, a 16 year old girl and a 22 year old man, the maturity levels between the two are undeniably different.
 

AlexNora

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Mar 7, 2011
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in my opinion witch is extremely bias 99% of 18 year olds and under are not ready to date. everyone older can decide for themselves but id say 5-7 years at best
 

Torrasque

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Aug 6, 2010
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AccursedTheory said:
It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).
Personally, I think its creepy if the girl is under 18, and the guy is over 20.
It really depends on maturity though. I have met some really mature 16 year olds, and some very immature 26 year olds (of both sexes).
I still think a girl should only date kids her own age until she is 18 though, because no matter how mature a girl seems at 15, she doesn't have the world-knowledge she needs to deal with guys that are 3+ years older than her.

Call me old fashioned, but I can't stand girls that still think the world they live in is jr. high/high school.
Fuck that makes me feel old =|
 

Gudrests

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AccursedTheory said:
It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).
Yeahhh gotta agree here. The lack of graduating makes him the creeping senior who dated the freshman and never graduated and is probably dragging her down to herp derp land as well...and it looks quite bad for both of them and will skew her view of men for quite a while.
 

Gordon_4_v1legacy

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GrimTuesday said:
There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.
provided it isn't breaking the law, I have two questions:

1-Has he done anything genuinely strange or threatening to this girl?

2-If he hasn't, how the hell is it your business?


People are weird. Get used to that; sometimes a genuine loving relationship will crop up in the weirdest of scenarios. If what he was doing was illegal, or if you suspected foul play, I'd like to think you would have involved the cops by now.

If however the age difference is the only genuine red flag, I suggest you keep it yourself and leave them be.
 

GrimTuesday

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May 21, 2009
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Yosharian said:
GrimTuesday said:
There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.
Generalizations are fun and meaningful!

Maybe she's a particularly mature 16 year old?
I'm not making generalizations, I know both of them, therefore it is not a generalization, but an observation.

I would say that for a 16 year old, she is fairly mature, but he is by no means mature.
 

GrimTuesday

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Gordon_4 said:
GrimTuesday said:
There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.
provided it isn't breaking the law, I have two questions:

1-Has he done anything genuinely strange or threatening to this girl?

2-If he hasn't, how the hell is it your business?


People are weird. Get used to that; sometimes a genuine loving relationship will crop up in the weirdest of scenarios. If what he was doing was illegal, or if you suspected foul play, I'd like to think you would have involved the cops by now.

If however the age difference is the only genuine red flag, I suggest you keep it yourself and leave them be.
I don't know if they are having sex or not, but if they are, it is illegal as he is over 18. Its not so much things he has done with/to this girl, but more what I know of his last few relationships, he is incredibly immature.

And no, it's not my place to tell them what to do, which is why I keep it to myself, but it's still creepy to me.
 

Fightgarr

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Dec 3, 2008
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I don't find an age gap like that particularly creepy, but I wouldn't find it particularly appealing either. People still in high school are just so... in high school. You can tell from their attitude, their spending habits, their priorities, even their conversations. It's not a bad thing, it's just not something I'd ever be interested in.
 

Gordon_4_v1legacy

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Aug 22, 2010
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GrimTuesday said:
Gordon_4 said:
GrimTuesday said:
There's this guy in my DnD group who is a bit older than me (I'm 19 he's almost 20), his girlfriend just turned 16, which to me is really creepy. He doesn't seem to get it because he seems to think that because he is still in high school it's ok (He should have graduated two years ago, I graduated last year).

So do you think? is it creepy or am I just being a little oversensitive? Also, what do you see as an acceptable age difference in a relationship, keeping in minde that different age difference are appropriate at different age.
provided it isn't breaking the law, I have two questions:

1-Has he done anything genuinely strange or threatening to this girl?

2-If he hasn't, how the hell is it your business?


People are weird. Get used to that; sometimes a genuine loving relationship will crop up in the weirdest of scenarios. If what he was doing was illegal, or if you suspected foul play, I'd like to think you would have involved the cops by now.

If however the age difference is the only genuine red flag, I suggest you keep it yourself and leave them be.
I don't know if they are having sex or not, but if they are, it is illegal as he is over 18. Its not so much things he has done with/to this girl, but more what I know of his last few relationships, he is incredibly immature.

And no, it's not my place to tell them what to do, which is why I keep it to myself, but it's still creepy to me.
fair enough, think its creepy all you like, its your right as a free thinker. I just do not understand you wishing to consult the internet on the subject.
 

akfg666

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Dec 9, 2010
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I'd say that at that age, it's a little bit weird. As mature as she may think she is, she can be in no way sure as to if she really wants a relationship at this time. Also yes the lack of maturity and graduation skill from the guy is worrying, perhaps if they were both very mature then it would be ok. But I still find it kinda creepy seeing substantially older guys going out with very young girls. There's a couple in my school where the guy is 19 and the girl is 14...now THAT'S creepy
 

Cowabungaa

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Feb 10, 2008
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Yeah that's pretty weird I'd say. I'm 20 and I can't imagine dating someone under 18. Around this age, a person still has to develop a whole damned lot. 3 Or 4 years can matter a lot. Once you're past that stage, and well into your 20's, such an age gap matters less and less. I could imagine dating a 20 year old when I'm 24, for instance.
 

William Ossiss

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Apr 8, 2010
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AccursedTheory said:
It's creepy.

Made worse by his apparent lack of graduating skills.

17 and below are for people 17 and below.

Honestly don't even see the appeal of such a thing. Women who aren't old enough to buy booze usualy make my head hurt (no offense to that group, I guess I'm just too damn old).
apparently that's what he loves about high school girls. he keeps getting older while they stay the same age...

OT: id rather date someone my own age. in fact, my girlfriend is only 13 days younger than me.
 

njsykora

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Sep 11, 2007
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Surprised no-one had posted this yet. Outside of that though think of the gap rather than the ages. Its just a 4 year gap, nothing too difficult.