I play the race card, like a boss.
If I'm destroying the planet, then... you're destroying civil rights..... You Nazi.
If I'm destroying the planet, then... you're destroying civil rights..... You Nazi.
Alien asks you to prove humanity is worth saving
- Thread starter Saxm13
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My first instinct would be to offer them chocolate, but seeing as it probably wouldn't release the stream of endorphins it does in humans, or, even if it did, it would probably affect them in a completely different way to us, that'd be a bit pointless.
Thereby, my second instinct would be to show them the massive variety of different cultures, ideas, religions, music, art, scientific theories etc. that humanity has come up with over it's entire lifespan, and pray they're not a Borg-like race that is against variety and potential. If they can appreciate all the different stuff we have made in the past, they would be fairly likely to let us continue onwards to fulfil the potential we still have.
Thereby, my second instinct would be to show them the massive variety of different cultures, ideas, religions, music, art, scientific theories etc. that humanity has come up with over it's entire lifespan, and pray they're not a Borg-like race that is against variety and potential. If they can appreciate all the different stuff we have made in the past, they would be fairly likely to let us continue onwards to fulfil the potential we still have.
Here's how the conversation would go down with me:
"YOUR RACE STANDS ON TRIAL FOR IT'S SURVIVAL. MAKE YOUR CASE."
"Oh man, I guess we really had this coming, huh? Yeah I guess all the wars and suffering we've put ourselves through is really biting us in the ass now. But I don't need to tell you this, it must of had been pretty rough when this happened to you."
"WHEN WHAT HAPPENED TO US?"
"Well I assume at some point in your past an alien inquisitor appeared and put your race on trial, right?"
". . . . ."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Hey, gimme a fist-bump of hypocrisy."
"DO NOT TOY WITH US HUMAN! WHY SHOULD YOU BE ALLOWED TO LIVE?"
"Well, when faced with an unknown threat, we're really good at finding its weakness and exploiting the hell out of it."
"WE SHALL RAZE YOUR PLANET WITH OUR DEATH RAY."
"Woah, woah, take it easy. Have you browsed our internet?"
"WE HAVE SEARCHED YOU GLOBAL NETWORK. IT IS FILLED WITH SICK FETISH PORNOGRAPHY AND DEGENERATES WHO USE ANONYMITY TO SAY THE MOST VILE THINGS."
"Ho boy, don't I know it. Hey, I'm not going to lie, there's a lot of dickholes on the web, but there's also a lot of good there too. We get to share our knowledge. Here, I want you to take a look at this particular website. [http://www.tvtropes.org] That's right, just settle down and read this one little website for a while. [http://www.tvtropes.org] Okay? Cool."
They'd be distracted for years. In that time we'd be able to disassemble their death ray, reverse engineer it, and reconfigure it to overload and blow up their spaceship the second they hit the "fire" button.
"YOUR RACE STANDS ON TRIAL FOR IT'S SURVIVAL. MAKE YOUR CASE."
"Oh man, I guess we really had this coming, huh? Yeah I guess all the wars and suffering we've put ourselves through is really biting us in the ass now. But I don't need to tell you this, it must of had been pretty rough when this happened to you."
"WHEN WHAT HAPPENED TO US?"
"Well I assume at some point in your past an alien inquisitor appeared and put your race on trial, right?"
". . . . ."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Hey, gimme a fist-bump of hypocrisy."
"DO NOT TOY WITH US HUMAN! WHY SHOULD YOU BE ALLOWED TO LIVE?"
"Well, when faced with an unknown threat, we're really good at finding its weakness and exploiting the hell out of it."
"WE SHALL RAZE YOUR PLANET WITH OUR DEATH RAY."
"Woah, woah, take it easy. Have you browsed our internet?"
"WE HAVE SEARCHED YOU GLOBAL NETWORK. IT IS FILLED WITH SICK FETISH PORNOGRAPHY AND DEGENERATES WHO USE ANONYMITY TO SAY THE MOST VILE THINGS."
"Ho boy, don't I know it. Hey, I'm not going to lie, there's a lot of dickholes on the web, but there's also a lot of good there too. We get to share our knowledge. Here, I want you to take a look at this particular website. [http://www.tvtropes.org] That's right, just settle down and read this one little website for a while. [http://www.tvtropes.org] Okay? Cool."
They'd be distracted for years. In that time we'd be able to disassemble their death ray, reverse engineer it, and reconfigure it to overload and blow up their spaceship the second they hit the "fire" button.
Two things come to mind.
1) Mr. Rogers. We show them that despite all we are, that we can get someone like him.
2) Tell them that Ctulhu, Nyharlhotep and their ilk find us tasty and fun and will be pissed if they eliminate their favorite snacks and toys.
1) Mr. Rogers. We show them that despite all we are, that we can get someone like him.
2) Tell them that Ctulhu, Nyharlhotep and their ilk find us tasty and fun and will be pissed if they eliminate their favorite snacks and toys.
I'd probably say: cause you can't kill us, we find our way out of the worst situations always. Try it I dare you. Combat is our speciality who gives a damn about your superior tech? we will kick your ass. As a species that grew up on self destruction we specialize in all forms of destruction. So if you wanna kill us I suggest you think again cause we will give you a fight you wont forget, but if you're smart I suggest an alliance cause any amount of us in any conflict (war, invasions etc) will easily turn the tide in your favour. So think long and hard about what you do next. It'll dictate how long you have to live.
You, sir, have just made my day. So true, I bet they'd spare us immediately.70R4N said:
I'd tell him we are intellectual beings, just like them. And that we could cooperate for the good of our people.
I'd take them to the local pool. At least that's where I go whenever I need a reminder that parent still care about and play with their children and that we as a society are still doing something right.
^ Why are so many people saying this? In the next century humanity will have to choose freedom or the same old autocracy crap that we've always had and to be honest, for the first time in history, Choosing freedom, seems a whole hell of a lot closer to being the choice over the same old dictators. Of course the greatest example of freedom places tyrants in power in foreign countries and is bankrupt because we suddenly believe we must "HELP EVERYBODY!" I know Illegal immigrants that got full ride scholarships BECAUSE they were illegal. As well as II that got their medical bills payed for, foreign couples who are going to college because my nation is paying them to do so. And then theres friggin Obamacare that wants me to pay for EVERYBODY ELSE. And our military. I have a question, since we 'technically' occupy all of the world can we just make it official and begin to tax them if we arent going to pull some of them out?Byere said:
Anyways I'd go with showing them some stuff from Da Vinci, Thomas Paine, A little Arthur C. Clarke, and lets see... Lets throw ol' George Washington's Biography in there for good measure.
If they don't kill us all... I guess... we could probably become an expendable solider race? Aside from that, at the moment all we could offer is music. And I think most of us would agree, if that's true, we're done for.
I'd look them straight in the eye... or... whatever they have and tell them to prove that their species is worth keeping alive. Because if there's something we humans know how to do, it's kill stuff.
But If I had to answer the question properly, I'd probably tell them to speak to somebody else, because I am a pessimist and that is a hard question for me to answer.
But If I had to answer the question properly, I'd probably tell them to speak to somebody else, because I am a pessimist and that is a hard question for me to answer.
Show them all the movies and games and books, etc, about aliens invading and say: We have got a plan to counter any possible attack you could make just from entertainment. Imagine what a military force with the firepower to destroy the world has come up with.
Kinda like this
Kinda like this
The Serpent said:I would sit down and show them a "documentary" called Doctor Who. The wait for them to pee their pants and leave.
There mightn't even be a debate. This thread is going on the assumption that this Alien has seen and interacted with other alien races enough to take this kind of contact for granted. We could be their first sophisticated extra-terrestrial species. The real question is whether we are a good example of other civilized life forms, etc.