Alien asks you to prove humanity is worth saving

[joshuaayt]

I don't think I'd bother. What the hell do they care about our meagre accomplishments? They came here. From Space.


Me: Well, this is the Musée du Louvre, and we keep some of our very best art here...

Alien: Oh, you mean these colourful etchings? Wow, you mean you guys can even colour white surfaces? Oh, I am def. impressed

Me: And, uh, here is some of our classical music...

Alien: Well, this is amazing- you mean you guys can tighten pieces of string and make tubes with holes in them? Then make noise with them? Wow, that uses the basic science we teach to our infants as they are being pulled out of the birthing vats.

Alien's Friend: Ha ha, right on, dude. *High Five*

Even the greatest of our work is nothing to a race that has achieved interstellar travel.

 

[6_Qubed]

I'll point out to them that we invented popsicles. This is historically humanity's contribution to the civilized universe. That, and we are incredibly good at getting things done. And we're sneaky. They admire this.

 

[spartan231490]

I'd ask, "Who the fuck are you to judge?"

This. We are the race of balance. Capable of great good and great evil. some do each, most do nothing, but still we advance. You should spare us because of our potential, the risk of evil does not justify extinguishing the chance of good.

 

[LikeDustInTheWind]

Well, I'd punch that alien and declare war! We'll show them whose the superior beings!

And then we would all die because the aliens have interstellar travel and superior technology. At least we fought to the death!

 

[sharpsheppard]

i say to look at children at cause they have not been messed up by the world hoplfuly yet and to kill us would be to kill them the children which are pure

 

[floppylobster]

Because we understand for ourselves that we might not be worth saving. And that gives us hope to change into something that is worth saving.

 

[tomservo4prezident]

Fuck you, everyone who says "Let 'em die!".

Just because humanity's dregs haven't been particularly good to you, there's no reason to be a fucking sociopathic douchebag about this.


Also, optimists > pessimists, but I'm not brave or stupid enough to be one.

 

[lSHaDoW-FoXl]

Woops, look to me like humanity is fucked. We're not worth saving nor sparing. However, just because we're basically a cancer to this worl- And fuck you to anyone that lectures me on how using that overdone metaphor is tasteless. You're not the only person in the world with a family member affected by cancer so shut your trap, seriously. It's just a metaphor, nothing else.)

Woops, I lost track of my point completely.

A part of me yearns for the destruction of humanity, for a bit of soome poetic justice. All the time I hear humans justifying the terrible things we do to animals and I would love nothing more then for them to have a taste with it. People that test on animals being tested, people that hunt for entertainment being shot, and everyone else being sold as a slack of meat for five dollar. Men being neutered and having their dicks sold as food and women being used for only breeding.

But that's just the insane part of me, nothing else. Is humanity worth saving? No, but we're not worth destroying either. And just because we're not worth saving that doesn't make it justifiable to snuff the whole lot of us out. But you see, because I'm a crazed animal rights activist that doesn't go about shooting animals 'just because they're a problem' I can actually use this argument, meanwhile everyone else is fucked. Because if you start arguing to a superior being that 'using humans as animals is inhumane!' then you're only being a self righteous, hypocritical twat.

So yes, since a superior life form would probably see us as inferior, the best person to reason with one is an inferior life form that doesn't treat other life forms like shit.

 

[emclean]

I'd say something like "Hey guys! You don't have to worry about wiping us out! We've been doing it to our selves for years now! Just look at all of our pollution, war, greed, and religious zealots! WE work hard so you don't have to!"

 

[lSHaDoW-FoXl]

And this is your first post? Congratulations, you made an awesome first impression.

 

[dashiz94]

Argghh here comes the onslaught of people with "HERP DERP HUMANITY IS TEH SUXXORS!".

Being an optimist makes you intelligent.

Being a pessimist makes you an asshole.

 

[Particulate]

What do you say/do?

You've all probably seen movie/game (coughgreenlanterndaytheearthstoodstillcough) where aliens debate on whether they should commit to sparing/saving Earth.

I figure this is probably a difficult question for pessemistics.

I direct them towards Queen Rania of Jordan. Problem solved.

Look into her and everything she's done for children and people in need.

Plus she's really, really attractive.

 

[nyttyn]

Shout out HOLD IT!
Present Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Present Daft Punk
Shout TAKE THAT!
Enjoy reputation as savior of humanity.

 

[Nannernade]

I think we deserve a mercy killing, we had a good run. Maybe we'll get it right next time.

 

[Jubbert]

"I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions."

Then punch him.

 

[azurine]

"I've got nothing."

 

[The Heavy Metal Nerd]

Direct them to a little show called "My Little Pony"

 

[Blastinburn]

I would first ask them why they have the right to judge us? (I thank the other people who thought of this first.)

Then I would try and convince them that at least some of humanity is worth saving. Perhaps go with the idea of having them live on earth for some time to figure it out for themselves, though I would stick around them to casually drawing their attention to positive things people do.

 

[Faladorian]

It's not. Simple as that.

 

[HandsomeZer0]

"As long as you take me away, i want you to destroy this planet. I don't mind if you probe me a little..."