An Ideal Apocalypse

[notsosavagemessiah]

Simple, humanity manages to stave off it's instinct to kill one another long enough for this statement to occur, "this just in, stocks are up, unemployment is down, and the UN has just declared global peace forever". All of course would be true. Then the sun explodes and kills us because we took so goddamned long to get along that we really should've been exploring space by then, but we didn't, and the sun punishes us for it.

you have being listening to 3 dog too much lately havent you??

not lately no, but the quote happened to fit the scenario i imagined in my head. Humanity finally gets it's head out of it's ass, just to get it's ass clean burned off.

 

[SnowCold]

How can an Apocalypse be ideal?

 

[SnowCold]

My perfect apocalypse would be an (un)intentionally fired nuclear ICBM at Moscow. The Russians start firing nukes back, the British, French, and Israelis start firing nuclear missiles toward Russia, China jumps the gun and starts firing them at the US and India, who then fire them at China and Pakistan. All of the other countries in the world who haven't joined in slowly die from a nuclear winter. Meanwhile Kim Jong-Il thinks "Damn, I was supposed to start this."
All living things sizzle and pop inside a radioactive fireball. I am rather scared to think that Russia might at this point may be able to put a warhead on the scale of the Czar Bomba on an ICBM.

Still, the all-out nuclear holocaust would be more exciting than the more probable anti-biotic resistant disease apocalpyse.

That's the backstory of Fallout except you swiched Russia's and China's rules And Israel exsists.

 

[J0k3r]

Exactly like Fallout 3.
I know not very original but i love that game =P

 

[Bealzibob]

Robbert Pattson (Whatever his name is... the Twilight guy) is making toast and all of a sudden the toast falls off the bench and lands buttered side down, thus proving gods perfect and unfallible plan wrong and unravelling the entire universe in an instant....

Not ideal but as far as these things go the other universes with be rolling on the floor laughing for billions of years...

 

[Cocal]

After I get all of the things I need, and it's when eveything is perfect we have a zombie apocalypse, Romero style.

 

[Walker100]

I'd make a disease that would only kill humans while leaving all animals and plants alive and as healthy as normal. I like nature.

 

[Mad Maniac with axe-firing chainsaw]

A giant war breaks out between the pirates and the ninjas, only for the robots to get sick of it all and fire the nukes.

Come on, what other apocalypse scenario has a showdown between pirates and ninjas?

 

[Julianking93]

All the stupid people die from spontaneous combustion.

That would effectively kill 70% of the population.

 

[Julianking93]

Twilight getting a second shot at the silver screen...wait, what? OH SHI-

TIS JUST THE BEGINNING! But seriously? Apparently, there's a theory by a bunch of scientists I read in my newspaper a couple months ago that it seems that there is a tear in space not too far away that is akin to a black hole that relates to the division of zero. I shit you not. I'll look for it later.

Oh shit.

 

[Hexenwolf]

All the stupid people die from spontaneous combustion.

That would effectively kill 70% of the population.

Possibly more. That's why it's the apocalypse, all us brilliant intellectuals wouldn't have greasy monkeys oiling the cogs of civilization anymore xP

 

[Julianking93]

All the stupid people die from spontaneous combustion.

That would effectively kill 70% of the population.

Possibly more. That's why it's the apocalypse, all us brilliant intellectuals wouldn't have greasy monkeys oiling the cogs of civilization anymore xP

Yeah, I like this one.

 

[Susano]

The USA, EU, China and Russia finally push each other too far and wipe each other out in a nuclear holocaust leaving us in the Southern Hemisphere (and maybe Canada) going "shit...." Nuclear winter would last a month but then it'd clear up and we'd have to start rebuilding.

Read On the Beach. No-one survives a nuclear holocaust, the radiation drifts down on the air currents. Antarctica MIGHT survive, but it's a big might.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

Any apocalyptic scenario will do as long as there is potential of survivors, so I will be king of them all.

Oh, and it must have zombies in some way. Lots of zombies

 

[AgentNein]

I would probably do something absolutely beautiful. End the world beautifully.

I want the last moments of everyone's existence to be basking in the most wonderful imagery and sound and power.

 

[The Shade]

How about a strange occurrence where everything with a Y chromosome, except me and my Capuchin monkey, spontaneously dies? That wouldn't be too awful, would it?

The USA, EU, China and Russia finally push each other too far and wipe each other out in a nuclear holocaust leaving us in the Southern Hemisphere (and maybe Canada) going "shit...." Nuclear winter would last a month but then it'd clear up and we'd have to start rebuilding.

Read On the Beach. No-one survives a nuclear holocaust, the radiation drifts down on the air currents. Antarctica MIGHT survive, but it's a big might.

But if it was a question of surviving a nuclear winter, my wager is on Canada. We're pretty used to extreme winters. It's like that awful "Day After Tomorrow" movie. While the insta-freeze tidal wave is burying the US, and the heroes are making a valiant attempt to cross the frozen wastes, we Canadians are sitting on our front porches thinking, "It's getting a tad nippy. I'm going to go put long pants on. Anyone want another beer?"

 

[AgentNein]

How about a strange occurrence where everything with a Y chromosome, except me and my Capuchin monkey, spontaneously dies? That wouldn't be too awful, would it?

You say that now, wait till you're an old man stuck in a room being used to continue the human race.

 

[The Shade]

You say that now, wait till you're an old man stuck in a room being used to continue the human race.

Can I at least have a legion of cloned monkeys to keep me company?

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

Probably the best one would be...

I don't know, some God-like figure (perhaps the big man himself?) comes down, scoops up all the good people (in theory, most of the world's population) and takes them to whatever version of Heaven they so desire.

The end of the world as we know it...but in a good way.

Most of the worlds population are a bunch of assholes. Nice people are a minority. And I don't think there are any "Good" people. Everyone's got issues.

 

[AgentNein]

You say that now, wait till you're an old man stuck in a room being used to continue the human race.

Can I at least have a legion of cloned monkeys to keep me company?

There's an old saying passed down through my family, let me see if I can recall the quote:

"If I can't enjoy a legion of clone monkeys during your apocalypse, I want no part of it".