Anal probing - What's the point?

[Kaboose the Moose]

Why do you think aliens would anally probe anyone? What would be the point of such an act? What could they possibly gain by doing so?

Ok, I'll bite!

Perhaps they are doing an intergalactic survey to see which inhabitants of which star-systems have the lowest (or highest..depends on motive really) cases of anal fissure or polyp formations. It could also be that we are a niche demographic for hemorrhoid cream testing for an alien species. Oooh, or maybe they have an incontinence fetish and want to test us to choose the best bowel unstable sex-puppets?

Alternatively, they may just want to collect and catalog stool samples from everyone they encounter..for shits![footnote]Bah-Dum-Tish!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou..I'll be here all week folks! Try the veal...[/footnote]

 

[Subzerowings]

Let me anwer your question with another question: "If you saw a cow for the first time, what would be the point of pulling on her four long nipples?"
Perhaps our bums have mystical powers!

 

[Kakashi on crack]

G'day Escapists!
Why do you think aliens would anally probe anyone? What would be the point of such an act? What could they possibly gain by doing so?

I'm surprised they aren't probing our oceans since that would be the most scientifically decent thing they could probably do...

Right, back to the topic. I beleive that certain technology is desgined to maybe collect bacteria, or possibly to find certain information. Perhaps its like south park and they are installing a television device in their behind. Maybe it's just for kicks =D

Weeeellll... For those who have played Destroy All Humans, the anal probe was a special weapon that litterally made people's heads explode and gave extra DNA samples!

In all actuality, I'm sure they had a good reason, testing, gathering information, a one night stand..

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

Let me anwer your question with another question: "If you saw a cow for the first time, what would be the point of pulling on her four long nipples?"
Perhaps our bums have mystical powers!

You are not suggesting that aliens are trying to milk us from our butts are you?

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.
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Coz that's not milk...

 

[chiefohara]

Well Vets take the temperature of Animals that way so i guess they feel its only fair.

 

[gellert1984]

Well since aliens inevitably seem to visit southern USA I'd guess they scanned the head thinking the brains there, but found so little function they're having to look elsewhere. Since you're ass is at the other end of your spine it logically follows as a possible position for a secondary brain.

 

[Doomsday11]

Always thought it was to do with the Victorians views of sexuality and probing someones arse(especially a man's)was seen as evil and alien.

 

[GonzoGamer]

So this begs the question;

Why do you think aliens would anally probe anyone? What would be the point of such an act?

You've obviously never raped anyone.

 

[Fraught]

Deep space is cold, man. Peoples' asses are warm.

Why else do they stick thermometers up there?

 

[higgs20]

the point is presumably to see the inside of the anus.

 

[LoonShia]

The point of anal probing? Use enough lube.

As has been suggested, the aliens probably don't know enough about human biology, and would presume that the (structurally) most central (and best hidden away) orifice would be the most important.

 

[WhamBamSam]

This Cracked article gives as good an explanation as any as to why the myth exists.

If aliens actually were abducting people and engaging in this sort of behavior, I'd guess that they did it for fun. Should humanity discover the warp drive, you can bet that there will be a couple of deviants doing the same thing to the inhabitants of less advanced planets.

 

[Wolfenbarg]

The prostate bears a striking resemblance to their alien gods.

 

[Jeffro Tull]

Perhaps this could give some insight...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7sBTHtcLU

 

[higgs20]

Its fun...??...

I don't see the point in it but i'm sure they do it to implant some device that causes your poop (I can't spell faeses apparently) to mutate when in contact with water and releases chemicals that slowly terraform the planet they poached you from to favour alien life forms...

Too Far..?

dear god...has someone alerted the government?

 

[Mr.Napier]

They want to get to the bottom of things.

 

[fwlzdxil]

(not funny answer Because it's easier to make viewers feel uncomfortable. Same reason why Aliens (I mean THE Aliens) reproduce through oral rape of human males.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

To check if the abductee has any prostate issues.

 

[Doclector]

Probabally that at some point, fiction writers decided they wanted to make alien abduction not only seem terrifying and mysterious, but also humiliating.

Maybe aliens would be able to take some readings from there that they couldn't get from anywhere else. God knows what kind of readings, though...

 

[Daverson]

Determining Anal Temperature? Finding out what people eat without opening them up? Intergalactic free prostate exams? Poop burglary?

I'm not sure why Aliens would want to steal our poop, but whatever the reason, we shouldn't allow it! Global poop reserves, while renewable, are not infinite! If Greyliens want our poop, they should be considerate enough to trade for it, I mean, it's not like they'd have nothing to give us in return.