Anal probing - What's the point?

Subzerowings

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May 1, 2009
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Kaboose the Moose said:
Subzerowings said:
Let me anwer your question with another question: "If you saw a cow for the first time, what would be the point of pulling on her four long nipples?"
Perhaps our bums have mystical powers!
You are not suggesting that aliens are trying to milk us from our butts are you?

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Coz that's not milk...
Though here's the thing:
1. Eat a load of fiber-rich food.
2. Look at poo.
3. Pour that shit into a cup.
4. Put in microwave.
Looks to me like you've got yourself a nice hot cup of chocolate milk.
Add some marshmallows, whipped cream and you've got a drink that the whole family can enjoy come next christmas.
Worked out really well for me.
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
Legacy
Jul 18, 2009
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All that time alone in space probably builds up a lot of sexual tension.
 

shootthebandit

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May 20, 2009
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i was abducted by ET, he just used his finger. afterwards he didnt even phone me. said he had no battery :(
 

Dags90

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Oct 27, 2009
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They're obviously just checking for dangerous precancerous polyps. It's really a service they're doing, they don't even charge you. Plus, I doubt you could really beat the medical care intergalactic travelers are capable of.
 

emeraldrafael

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Jul 17, 2010
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I think its more such fear from our government. If you're captured by aliens, get ready for an anal rape and such.

Though I know medically you can get alot from the waste a person makes in their bowels. So maybe its something like that.
 

GWarface

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Jun 3, 2010
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Since i love the paranormal topic, i have been reading/hearing alot about abductions, and i have never heard of anyone who claimed to be anal probed...
Its just a movie thing.. Think about it, whats more scary than being abducted? Getting anal raped while abducted...

There has been found probes in other body parts, just not in the ass, as far as i know...
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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higgs20 said:
the point is presumably to see the inside of the anus.
You sir have one of the greatest avatars known to man.

Anyway, probably because it's the biggest 'hole' in the human body. After all, they probably have no idea about human biology.
 

My name is Fiction

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Sep 27, 2010
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"Um... JUST CAUSE!" :D

"Had too do that, maybe its to measure something like vitals, I don't know I'm not an alien."
:/
 

Kaboose the Moose

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Feb 15, 2009
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Subzerowings said:
Kaboose the Moose said:
Subzerowings said:
Let me anwer your question with another question: "If you saw a cow for the first time, what would be the point of pulling on her four long nipples?"
Perhaps our bums have mystical powers!
You are not suggesting that aliens are trying to milk us from our butts are you?

.
.
.

Coz that's not milk...
Though here's the thing:
1. Eat a load of fiber-rich food.
2. Look at poo.
3. Pour that shit into a cup.
4. Put in microwave.
Looks to me like you've got yourself a nice hot cup of chocolate milk.
Add some marshmallows, whipped cream and you've got a drink that the whole family can enjoy come next christmas.
Worked out really well for me.
You know..I am beginning to suspect if a certain porno involving a certain girl to cup ratio wasn't an alien intervention.
 

thethingthatlurks

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Feb 16, 2010
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Here's my theory:
The aliens breathe an atmosphere of nitrous oxide and various hallucinogens, which makes the abductees sing this:
Now, the aliens are rather polite creatures, who are only trying to understand our society. As they do not wish to upset their guests, they gladly obey their wishes. As soon as the abductee is returned, the effects wear off, and they are left feeling ashamed and humiliated.
 

DanDeFool

Elite Member
Aug 19, 2009
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Well, in principle the least invasive way to enter the human body is through a naturally-occurring orifice. It's possible that they use anal probes to introduce drugs, nanomachines, or other substances and technology into the human body without having to injure the human. Kind of like using a suppository.

It's also possible that they use this type of probing technology to obtain quick, accurate measurements of things like body temperature and pulse rate. It's also possible that they can obtain a reasonable measurement of the subject's overall health by examining the health of their digestive tract and the quality of their excrement.

They may also be using instruments to examine the human's dietary habits through the use of excrement samples.

It may also be that human excrement is considered an alien delicacy, and clearly the most efficient way to extract this delicious commodity is the direct approach.

It's also entirely possible that aliens have never visited Earth, but pathological liars concocting false tales of abduction use anal-probing to spice up their stories by combining fears of rape, dubious experimentation on humans, and homosexuality into a horrifying cocktail that makes these false accounts more impressive to potential listeners.
 

DanDeFool

Elite Member
Aug 19, 2009
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Sorry. Double-post. Looks like it's one of those nights on the Escapist for me.
 

Irony's Acolyte

Back from the Depths
Mar 9, 2010
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They're very worried about the state of human males' prostates. They're just giving free prostate exams.

Its very kind of them.