Any Other LGBT Gamers Here?

[Miss Layton]

There is something I'd like to say... I know the Escapist is also home to all sorts of nasty people. I've seen it first hand, I know. But I like to take to the good with the bad, and so far... I'm honestly convinced there just might be more good than there is bad, here.

I've openly called myself the TransgenderedGamer. So far, no threats, no insults, no jabs, no mud-slinging. Even this thread has been - relatively - conflict free. From this thread, I've made friends with both heterosexual and every other person on the spectrum on this site. On other sites, when I tried something similar, I wasn't given the warmest of receptions, and I was once attacked by the entire community for defending transsexual rights. Wasn't a fun night.

Here... again, yes, such people exist here too. The Escapist might not be a bastion of progressive social relations or politics, and it most definitely has the same sort of whiny, self-important, entitled geeks and nerds who love to throw temper tantrums over little things like Mass Effect 3's ending or the intense prejudice against the "dreaded" casual gamer. That being the case, I've seen and met such wonderful people here that I'm happy to call friends. I've seen a good deal of perfectly rational people.

I posted a thread earlier about my love for a Britcom called League of Gentlemen. Some people commented they didn't like it. Did I argue about it? No. Instead, we discussed why they didn't like it, and they made a series of perfectly valid points.

I'm seeing something quite similar in this thread, and in others.

Yes, not a bastion of progressiveness or anything like that. But even a site that's "relatively" nicer or friendlier than others of its kind on the internet is still something.

Just wanted to chime in.

 

[Raikas]

]

Yeah, I've heard some intersex arguments before (prior to me hearing hearing about QUILTBAG, actually, so a couple of years ago at least).

I've heard a lot of arguments about intersex inclusion (for and against) as part of LGBT issues, but here's the thing - I have never once heard FROM anyone intersex (that I know of). I was under the impression that intersex individuals are extremely rare, and that most were surgically modified while very young (babies) to be one or the other (usually due to parental wishes) so that the number of adult intersex individuals was insanely small and thus very difficult to actually gauge on matters of how they wish to be represented.

I personally pretty much avoid getting into arguments either way. If an actual intersex individual wishes to speak to me on the matter, I would welcome it, but until such a person does so, I'm staying FAR out of that one.

Yeah, I have some personal experience there and I'm not hugely comfortable talking about it, even mostly annonomously online, so yeah, it's complicated. I lean towards avoiding the topic and using really specific medical terms if forced. But that's not ideal either, I know.

That said, in general, disorders of sexual development aren't actually all that uncommon (as a group, there are a lot of uncommon specifics under the umbrella) but even aside from the social stigma involved in saying that you have deformed genitals (or chromosomal differences or whatever), a lot of people really hate the term, and don't want to use "intersex" at all either becuase it's not useful (the tiny handful of times I've "come out" to people they pretty much say "uh, so you had a sex change?" and that's not a fun conversation - and apparently answering "fuck, no!" makes people think you're transphobic, but anyway). I understand the people who use use "hermaphrodite", becuase at least people know what that means.

I mean, in an ideal world visibility and whatever would be good, but we're not there, so I'm always more than a little uncomfortable when people through the "I" into the alphabet soup. But I know plenty of people disagree with me, so hey, it's all good, I guess.

 

[bananafishtoday]

When I'm speaking aloud, I only say it "quiltbag" rather than the words. Whereas LGBT I say "Ell, Gee, Bee, Tee" which takes twice as long as quiltbag, but says half as much.

Also, I had no idea that Jeep stood for GP. That's really neat! I knew about Laser, but not Scuba. So yay for random word knowledge!

Edit: Speaking of which - what does Scuba stand for? I know I could just google it, but I'm doing other things at the moment.

Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus! And as for jeep, humvee had a similar origin (HMMWV--High-Mobility Multi-Purpose Wheeled Vehicle.) Obv people in think-fast talk-fast environments evolve language faster and toward efficiency, and the military is certainly up there in that regard. I swear, when my Army friends talk about their service/job/etc, it's practically a cant! (And as a New Yorker who slurs all their words together to maximize... density I guess, it's something I respect a lot, haha.)

And yeah, I don't know anyone who's masochistic enough to say "Kew you eye ell..." etc aloud. It's more a written thing, especially with stylebooks (super tangent,) like how AP style still demands capital-I Internet even though I and others I know immediately judge anyone who capitalizes "internet" as seriously out of touch with tech and modern culture.

 

[Miss Layton]

Lesbian here! And welcome to The Escapist!

Thanks!

 

[TheDoctor455]

.>
Can an asexual join the party here?
I was mistaken for gay once, and bullied for it. I try not to dwell on it.

Sure! You're the A in QUILTBAG after all.

... oh right, the thread title says LGBT. See, this is why I prefer QUILTBAG. It handles far more groups.

Thank you. Hmm... I think I can guess what some of 'QUILTBAG' stands for, would you mind clarifying it for me, and others who might be confused by the term?

Thank you.

OT:

I'd love to see games depicting more LGBT characters. Love to see more races depicted in games... and not in stereotypical roles. Love to see more women in games... I'd just love to see more diversity in games, period.

But... given how media has handled, or completely failed to handle depicting asexuals... at all...

I'd suspect that by the time videogames (and most modern media in general, really) start depicting asexuals... just about everything else will have been covered by then... and gone over and explored more thoroughly by the time asexuals get even... a passing reference.

Seriously. Check out the tiny list of examples on the TV Tropes page for asexuals. Its like we don't exist as far as the media is concerned.

And... as I said... I was mistaken for gay once, years ago. I got a taste of the bigotry that the LGBT community is faced with all too often. Still, I'd say even that is better than the greeting most asexuals get: complete denial of our existence.

Let's put it this way... the bigotry, at the very least, is an acknowledgement of your existence. Asexuals like me though? To the 'mainstream'... we'd as well be ghosts from what I can see.


Sorry... didn't meant to go into a somewhat angsty, somewhat repetitive ramble there.

Anyway...

Well... I'm around. My Steam account is the same as my Escapist one. Mostly. If you're playing with someone calling themselves 'Doc' on L4D 1, Killing Floor, Civ 5, Endless Space... etc. that's probably me.

Oh, honey...

*Hugs sympathetically*

Thank you. Hmm... if you'd like to chat with me, feel free to PM me. Fair warning though: I'm an aspiring writer. Just about everything anyone ever says to me has the potential to turn up somewhere in my work.

Honey, all writers do that. Myself included.

I know. Didn't know if you were a writer. Felt the warning needed to be there, just in case.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Yeah, I have some personal experience there and I'm not hugely comfortable talking about it, even mostly annonomously online, so yeah, it's complicated. I lean towards avoiding the topic and using really specific medical terms if forced. But that's not ideal either, I know.

Yeah. Unlike an actual sexual identity, which is mental, intersex is entirely physical (as far as I know). Which probably explains why even being identified as intersex is unpleasant for some - it isn't something they feel inside.

Still, like with asexuals (see discussion on page 4), it isn't right to pretend that intersex individuals don't exist. Which is why I still prefer to use QUILTBAG, even if it some intersex individuals would rather be ignored.

 

[Tyler Trahan]

I call myself "Bisexual" to those who I disclose that information to (the number is very small), but I guess it's more like pansexual. I certainly prefer femininity to masculinity and have only "dated" women but I have my experiences. For simplicity's sake I say bisexual but pansexual probably fits my bill better.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I call myself "Bisexual" to those who I disclose that information to (the number is very small), but I guess it's more like pansexual. I certainly prefer femininity to masculinity and have only "dated" women but I have my experiences. For simplicity's sake I say bisexual but pansexual probably fits my bill better.

Well, bisexuality covers the entire center of the Kinsey scale (3-5), so yeah. Pansexuality is more like one of those terms that narrows the focus down, like androsexual or gynosexual. It's useful for describing what kind of bisexual you are, but it's mostly useful because bisexual is a huge range of people and often describes people who fall into other categories (such as trans) as well.

Edit: Let me clarify, since my post might be misconstrued.

Bisexual ONLY means "the middle of the Kinsey scale". It was a term invented by Kinsey to describe the middle of his scale. That is all.

Many people want to attribute other meanings or subtly to the word. They make a big deal out of the "bi" in bisexual. However, all those meanings that they add to the word aren't really there - it only means the middle of the Kinsey Scale. Not the exact center (4) but that number and those around it, the 'leaning' numbers.

Edit 2: Also, if you prefer femininity, then I believe that actually makes you gynosexual (rather than pansexual). A gynosexual is a bisexual who prefers feminine people regardless of their actual sex.

On page 4 I liked to another thread discussing this where one of the participants (the OP I believe) identified as a gynosexual. Which is where I first heard the term used, actually.

A pansexual wouldn't prefer feminine people over masculine people; a pansexual would be attracted to both equally often. Hence "pan" meaning all.

For example, I like masculine men, masculine women, feminine men, and feminine women (and a few other variations beside). I'm pretty much an archetypical pansexual style bisexual.

Edit 3: Here's a link to that other thread I keep mentioning:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.402977-Gender-is-not-a-social-construct?page=1

Enjoy the "Genderbread Man" image. I did.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

That... that is very convincing. I am almost swayed into changing acronym use. My only concern is that the word is too cute. I fear it might undermine serious conversations about LGBT+ rights, hate crimes and other similar topics out of sheer, jarring tonal whiplash.

I use 'GLBTIQ' out of practical necessity; it's the only accepted term in both the Schools of Psychology and Social Sciences at my Uni.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I use 'GLBTIQ' out of practical necessity; it's the only accepted term in both the Schools of Psychology and Social Sciences at my Uni.

Yikes. Have you tried them on Quiltbag? It includes all of those and then some, plus it is way easier to say. I bet if you start, it will catch on. ^^

Okay, I'm getting manic. I was about to make a joke about quilting. Time for bed.

 

[Darken12]

I use 'GLBTIQ' out of practical necessity; it's the only accepted term in both the Schools of Psychology and Social Sciences at my Uni.

Interesting, I am currently using LGBT+, but it's a bit dismissive to reduce the rest of the umbrella to a plus sign.

 

[Simon Pettersson]

Well I am Bisexual and try to do my part in getting out information about my brothers and sisters in LGBT.
Thou i'm not that active.
And welcome to the Escapist

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I use 'GLBTIQ' out of practical necessity; it's the only accepted term in both the Schools of Psychology and Social Sciences at my Uni.

Yikes. Have you tried them on Quiltbag? It includes all of those and then some, plus it is way easier to say. I bet if you start, it will catch on. ^^

If I tried I'd get marked the same as I would if I'd used a nonsense or offensive term, which is bad enough but with Social Sciences I'd probably get an appointment with my professor for a stern talking to on appropriate and acceptable language and terms for academic discourse as well, which would a pain in the arse for both of us.

 

[vallorn]

Im bisexual with a steady but open relationship with the man of my life. Im also somewhat genderqueer and can happily fit into any gender at the time... which can be quite odd sometimes.

 

[Silly Hats]

Even though I haven't been here for that long, these sort of threads have helped me understand my own perspective on these sort of things. But anyway...

I have been relatively asexual for a while now, I don't have a preference especially if I genuinely like the person that I would be with, regardless of who they are. Whether or not that would be considered Pansexual - I don't exactly care. I've just had some shitty things happen the past few years and understanding 'that aspect' has eased up some pressure on myself.

I have grown up with a lot of introspective and emotional elements in my life and I seem to be drawn more towards an honest relationship rather than shallow and meaningless relations. Though it's just not considered to be "Alpha-Male", there is a lack of understanding about what makes a person who they are not fitting the stereotyped gender that they are.

Unfortunately in the society that we live in, everything and everyone needs to be sorted and organized so we know how to treat people once we know what they are like.

I admire people that have themselves figured out and are happy enough.

 

[Raspbryl]

Even though I haven't been here for that long, these sort of threads have helped me understand my own perspective on these sort of things. But anyway...

I have been relatively asexual for a while now, I don't have a preference especially if I genuinely like the person that I would be with, regardless of who they are. Whether or not that would be considered Pansexual - I don't exactly care. I've just had some shitty things happen the past few years and understanding 'that aspect' has eased up some pressure on myself.

I have grown up with a lot of introspective and emotional elements in my life and I seem to be drawn more towards an honest relationship rather than shallow and meaningless relations. Though it's just not considered to be "Alpha-Male", there is a lack of understanding about what makes a person who they are not fitting the stereotyped gender that they are.

Unfortunately in the society that we live in, everything and everyone needs to be sorted and organized so we know how to treat people once we know what they are like.

I admire people that have themselves figured out and are happy enough.

I can pretty much agree with all of that.
I spent quite a while trying to figure out my place in things..
but ultimately never found an answer, deciding hey, I just roll with whatever, no need to lock myself into a restrictive system.

I honestly used to care a lot about it but I'd be hard pressed to tell you why..

 

[Something Amyss]

Pansexuality is more like one of those terms that narrows the focus down, like androsexual or gynosexual.

No.

If anything, pansexuality broadens the term. In fact, the big controversy there is that many bisexuals argue that the term "pansexuality" is unnecessary, as bisexual covers it all. Others say, well...They say "no."

Pansexuality also does NOT mean "all things equally."

Finally, use of the word "bisexual" goes back to the 19th century at least, so no. Kinsey did not invent the word. Nor does it exclusively mean ANYTHING related to the Kinsey scale. Of course, even if he did...Words evolve. It's funny how language changes. The current use would be valid even if Kinsey had intended it only one way.

Hell, Shakespeare made up words we use in a different context today.

Please. Know what you're talking about.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

If I tried I'd get marked the same as I would if I'd used a nonsense or offensive term, which is bad enough but with Social Sciences I'd probably get an appointment with my professor for a stern talking to on appropriate and acceptable language and terms for academic discourse as well, which would a pain in the arse for both of us.

....???

What kind of college doesn't allow for discourse? I don't even know what to say about that. Isn't the point of college to examine new and emergent trends and add them to the discourse?

That they would be unwilling to even examine a new term is bizarre.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

straight, white, male and bland, but still support you guys.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

If anything, pansexuality broadens the term. In fact, the big controversy there is that many bisexuals argue that the term "pansexuality" is unnecessary, as bisexual covers it all. Others say, well...They say "no."

You kinda missed my point. I said it was a necessary term.

Please. Know what you're talking about.

Bisexuality was first defined in a meaningful way by Kinsey. You are technically correct in that it was used in the VERY late 1800s. However, it was often confused with hermaphroditic. So yeah, not very useful. Kinsey gave the term meaning.

It would be very nice if you knew what you were talking about, but I am trying very hard not to have an argument about this. Again. This has been such a nice thread so far.

I find it very upsetting when people misrepresent bisexuality.

If you would like to provide an alternative description of what pansexuality means, go ahead. I have yet to have more than three self-identified pansexuals provide the same description, hence my confusion. It is a very broad term that encompasses many people.

And if you begin stating that bisexuals are limited to only male and female individuals, not intersex or transexual individuals, then I will call you out on bullshit. Because that has nothing at all to do with the definition of bisexual.

Words can evolve all they want - defined terms are defined terms.

Here... have a genderbread person. Isn't this a cute image?

Edit: As much as I tried not to, this post came off as angry. Look, this is not the place to do this. If you want to discuss this, PM me, okay? We can talk privately, discuss terms, and hopefully come to a mutual understanding.