Apologize on behalf of your country
- Thread starter OldAccount
- Start date
On behalf of Sweden, I hereby apologize for IKEA. I also apologize for Basshunter. I also apologize for IKEA again.
Dear World,
On behalf of the United States of America, I would like to apologize for making all other nations feel inferior. I am sorry that we have the best restaurants, like McDonald's and Taco Bell. I feel guilty for making you jealous of our Hollywood cinema which creates superior movies such as Twilight and Deuce Bigelow. And I fall on my knees and cry knowing how I have made you yearn for the deep wisdom and insight maintained by our past and future heads of state: George W. Bush and Sarah Palin; the likes of which your governmental representatives will never possess.
So please, dear World, accept my apology. And know that in this New Year, we, the Americans, resolve to screw up more. To make more mistakes. To act more rashly and insensitively. In short, to be more like the rest of you. So that you will resent us less. You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Uncle Sam
On behalf of the United States of America, I would like to apologize for making all other nations feel inferior. I am sorry that we have the best restaurants, like McDonald's and Taco Bell. I feel guilty for making you jealous of our Hollywood cinema which creates superior movies such as Twilight and Deuce Bigelow. And I fall on my knees and cry knowing how I have made you yearn for the deep wisdom and insight maintained by our past and future heads of state: George W. Bush and Sarah Palin; the likes of which your governmental representatives will never possess.
So please, dear World, accept my apology. And know that in this New Year, we, the Americans, resolve to screw up more. To make more mistakes. To act more rashly and insensitively. In short, to be more like the rest of you. So that you will resent us less. You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Uncle Sam
On behalf of Australia, I'd like to apologise about the country between 1901 and 1973. That policy was on long lasting fuck up after another.
On behalf of Sweden I apologize profusely for all the run-of-the-mill detective stories we seem to be polluting the world with these days. Maybe this should go out especially to the UK and the US, since I'm pretty sure they had a monopoly on dysfunctional binge drinking coppers before we got into it.
Also for not being able to decide if we wanted to be neutral or not during the cold war. That was some seriously weak stuff we pulled back then.
Also for not being able to decide if we wanted to be neutral or not during the cold war. That was some seriously weak stuff we pulled back then.
On behalf of Australia, I'd like to apologise about the country between 1901 and 1973. That policy was on long lasting fuck up after another.
On behalf of the United States of America. I appologize that our general populace is fooled by the charade of party politics and waste our time arguing over things Fox and CNN make up while we allow the crooks who hold office to exploit us and other nations for narrow agendas and personal greed.
I would like to extend an appology to the Earth itself for being the country that decided the Hummer needed 2,000 more pounds slapped on it to better devour gasoline, so that 5ft tall 100lb women could climb a ladder into thier truck to traverse the exotic asphault between thier suburban home and the mall.
I would like to extend an appology to the Earth itself for being the country that decided the Hummer needed 2,000 more pounds slapped on it to better devour gasoline, so that 5ft tall 100lb women could climb a ladder into thier truck to traverse the exotic asphault between thier suburban home and the mall.
