Apple's Find My Friends App Catches Cheating Wife

[Zing]

I do hope she nails his ass for invasion of privacy.

Still, I do hope they both enjoy their divorce. **sigh** This is why people shouldn't get married unless they set ground rules they can both live with.

You can't be serious.

This guy did nothing wrong. The ***** cheated on him.

I can be serious. And, in fact, am.

I don't think she's free of wrongdoing, mind, but most of THAT wrongdoing goes down to stupidity and shortsightedness. She probably shouldn't have married him in the first place.

However, using an electronic device to spy on someone? That's illegal. Stupidity isn't.

It is not stupidity. It's a betrayal.

You are grossly overstating the illegality of the act all he did was install an app on her phone. It wouldn't have been hidden. What if he had followed her and found out she was lying anyway? It's basically the same thing except he doesn't have to follow her around.

 

[Princess Rose]

It is not stupidity. It's a betrayal of the greatest kind.

You are grossly overstating the illegality of the act all he did was install an app on her phone. It wouldn't have been hidden. What if he had followed her and found out she was lying anyway? It's basically the same thing except he doesn't have to follow her around.

Betrayal of the greatest kind? You make it sound like she sold military information to China.

It's a betrayal of his trust, and likely of her marriage vows - so basically, she broke a promise. Is that bad? Sure. If she wasn't willing to keep that promise, she shouldn't have made it in the first place. Or, if she knew, she should have arranged for it in the first place with an open marriage.

As for your other point, what if he had followed her around? Well, for one, he wouldn't have broken any laws. The same result by illegal methods is still illegal.

And anyway, there is another name for following someone and spying on them: stalking.

You and others seem to think that breaking marital vows is worse than breaking the law. It isn't. This man isn't a hero - he's worse. The fact that he was wronged doesn't give him the right to do something worse.

Two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.

 

[Princess Rose]

Honestly, I'm not sure who's more in the wrong here, since both parties violated each other's trust.

It's her. The one having sex with a third party. That is the person more in the wrong here. Cheating on your spouse is a worse thing than installing an app on someone's phone. This is not debatable.

It certainly is debatable.

Cheating is not illegal.

If the app breaks the wire-tapping law, then what he did was illegal.

You don't get to break the law because someone broke a promise.

Breaking the law is worse than cheating.

 

[Zing]

It is not stupidity. It's a betrayal of the greatest kind.

You are grossly overstating the illegality of the act all he did was install an app on her phone. It wouldn't have been hidden. What if he had followed her and found out she was lying anyway? It's basically the same thing except he doesn't have to follow her around.

Betrayal of the greatest kind? You make it sound like she sold military information to China.

It's a betrayal of his trust, and likely of her marriage vows - so basically, she broke a promise. Is that bad? Sure. If she wasn't willing to keep that promise, she shouldn't have made it in the first place. Or, if she knew, she should have arranged for it in the first place with an open marriage.

As for your other point, what if he had followed her around? Well, for one, he wouldn't have broken any laws. The same result by illegal methods is still illegal.

And anyway, there is another name for following someone and spying on them: stalking.

You and others seem to think that breaking marital vows is worse than breaking the law. It isn't. This man isn't a hero - he's worse. The fact that he was wronged doesn't give him the right to do something worse.

Two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.

I'm sure it's the greatest betrayal that he will ever be at the mercy of. And I'd consider a wife cheating on me a huge betrayal. As would anyone.

Why be an apologist for the woman? Is it just because the woman is the cheater? What if the roles were reversed?

You seem to be downplaying a woman cheating on her husband in favor of the method through which he found out. Who cares how he found it? How else should he have done it? PI? "Stalking"? Or just sit around like a fool while she lies and wait for the divorce?

 

[fenrizz]

Honestly, I'm not sure who's more in the wrong here, since both parties violated each other's trust.

It's her. The one having sex with a third party. That is the person more in the wrong here. Cheating on your spouse is a worse thing than installing an app on someone's phone. This is not debatable.

It certainly is debatable.

Cheating is not illegal.

If the app breaks the wire-tapping law, then what he did was illegal.

You don't get to break the law because someone broke a promise.

Breaking the law is worse than cheating.

Have you ever been cheated on?
If not, I'll have you know it really, really hurts.
Like a soul crushing pain.

All you care about is the legality of the actions.
Do you not see the issues of morality here?

 

[Kahnmir]

So...a wife cheats on her husband and everyone is attacking the husband?
You people are disgusting.

Seconded. Honestly, wtf is wrong with you people? I mean, its one thing to say
"well, good for him but its against the law to do that"

BUT YOU ARE SUPPORTING SOMEONE WHO WAS LYING AND TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS GUY FFS
and don't bring up "you can love someone and sleep with other people" because

A. even IF that were possible, lying should not be in that equation.
B. Love is fragile, and generally BS.

If the situation was reversed and the man was cheating I bet a lot of you morons would be singing a different tune.

 

[Keava]

Next there's going to be an app for snipers to tell them were to aim to get a hit.

Wait a sec...

Seriously, there's an app for EVERYTHING these days.

Following shortly, however, will be App that will tell connect snipers and sniper targets, linked to sniper rifles, so when someone is about to shoot You, You will get a nice melody and a pop-up "DarkShade59 is aiming at You from a window on 4th floor".

Technology.

Also, it was clearly set up by Apple. Yes. They made the guys wife cheat on him with a guy who was Apple's undercover agent and all this is iPhone promo. They. Are. Watching. Everything.

 

[Ghengis John]

It certainly is debatable.

Cheating is not illegal.

If the app breaks the wire-tapping law, then what he did was illegal.

You don't get to break the law because someone broke a promise.

Breaking the law is worse than cheating.

It certainly is not debatable. This is a moral issue for the people saying that cheating is worse. And from an emotional standpoint being cheated on most certainly is more painful to endure. To you who would simply hide behind the law as though the world were black and white I would ask if the law is always just. We both know the answer to that. "The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich and the poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."

For that matter, I don't know that anyone has, (as of yet) actually decided if a law WAS broken.

 

[mjc0961]

Picking up someone's phone, installing software without telling them

Read the article. It was his phone when he installed the app. Then he gave it to her as a gift. He can do whatever the hell he wants with the phone when it's still his.

I agree that if he didn't trust her anyway, the marriage was over regardless though. It's just nice that he has some good proof for the divorce.

 

[Princess Rose]

It certainly is debatable.

Cheating is not illegal.

If the app breaks the wire-tapping law, then what he did was illegal.

You don't get to break the law because someone broke a promise.

Breaking the law is worse than cheating.

It certainly is not debatable. This is a moral issue for the people saying that cheating is worse. And from an emotional standpoint being cheated on most certainly is more painful to endure. To you who would simply hide behind the law as though the world were black and white I would ask if the law is always just. We both know the answer to that. "The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich and the poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."

For that matter, I don't know that anyone has, (as of yet) actually decided if a law WAS broken.

Since you are debating it, it clearly IS debatable. If it weren't we couldn't be having this lovely talk.

I am not hiding behind the law. I am saying that the wife has not broken any laws, whereas the man has. The wife is not innocent, but neither is the husband.

Also, the wife's wrongdoing will not get her sent to prison.

The husband's might, depending on where this took place and what the laws are in that location.

My point is, he is not a hero. He could have done the same thing by hiring a PI, and not risked breaking the law.

And really, do YOU want people using apps to spy on you?

 

[Ghengis John]

Since you are debating it, it clearly IS debatable. If it weren't we couldn't be having this lovely talk.

You imagine that the law is the imprimatur of right and wrong. I don't know that it's a debate because I don't imagine we'll be convincing one another of anything.

I am not hiding behind the law. I am saying that the wife has not broken any laws, whereas the man has.

That has yet to be determined. You are making an assumption and running with it.

The wife is not innocent, but neither is the husband.

Well on that we can agree. I however don't hold the two wrong doings as equal. I think one is a greater misdeed and a greater betrayal of trust. I can't understand a person who has no barometer for the magnitude of an action. Then again, we have no scientific metric by which we can determine "wrongness", everyone's value judgements will be made on their own personal perspectives and understandings. You hold a marriage vow to be a simple promise. I think the schism here is that those of us who are on the husband's side would disagree.

However... You are "different" correct? I don't mean any offense and I don't mean it as an insult. I have no issues with it, but I think you've mentioned it a few times and I think I understand how it is coloring your psychology. I wouldn't be surprised if your experiences made you value marriage that much less and personal liberties that much more. Traditional morality has not always been your friend, but the law has protected you. I didn't think of that before. I don't think I could make you change your mind, nor should I try.

As an aside as a man of my word I think a promise is something you should never break, and I don't make them willy nilly. You say she "broke a promise" like it was nothing. Maybe people do all the time. They shouldn't. That's my thinking anyway.

My point is, he is not a hero. He could have done the same thing by hiring a PI, and not risked breaking the law.

Very true. I don't think I ever called him a hero though.

And really, do YOU want people using apps to spy on you?

Honestly, I don't know. You're asking a personal question and you can't bank on an answer to one of those. It depends on who's doing the spying. If it were my wife, I might actually be kind of touched. I'm not the type to two time a girl, and I think it's a bad idea to lie to a girlfriend. I wouldn't have anything to fear but I might be kind of hurt if she thought I was capable of betraying her or flattered if she thought I was just so irresistible. I couldn't tell you. It would depend on my mood and the girl and her reasons. I will say you should pick your partners a little more carefully if you don't want to worry about these sorts of things. (general "you", mind you.)

I grew up in a large family, (I have seven brothers) a family of snoops (my parents and twin brother being the worst of them. My sister in law Rosa just as snoopy but she means well.). I'm actually quite accustomed to not having any privacy. If we were talking about a governmental or corporate entity however... I'd probably be up in arms if they spied on me. But family? I don't know what your family is like but for me that's par for the course. Again, personal assessments. I think we're both guilty of not realizing we're making them. My apologies and take care. I will see you around, I'm certain.

 

[Sentox6]

Breaking the law is worse than cheating.

So exceeding the speed limit by 1 kph would be worse than cheating?

Right.

 

[SpaceBat]

Cheating isn't illegal. It's stupidity.

As noted above, invasion of privacy is illegal. Stupidity is not. Yes, the wife sucks, but she didn't break any laws. Should she get divorced and have to rethink her life? Sure.

But the husband broke actual laws.

I understand. I was just curious as your first post gave me the false impression that you somehow believed the cheating woman was not in the fault for anything, as the illegal tracking was the only subject you mentioned in your comment. Kind of used to seeing a lot of people concentrate more on the cheating subject, as that tends to hurt very badly.

Although my line of thinking was probably a bit foolish in this case. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[spartan231490]

Hilariously, this could actually be in violation of New York wiretapping laws.

It's not a wiretap, it's more of a trace. and as he gave her the phone as a gift, and she accepted it as is, then I'm pretty sure it's actually legal.

 

[Princess Rose]

You imagine that the law is the imprimatur of right and wrong. I don't know that it's a debate because I don't imagine we'll be convincing one another of anything.

No, actually, I don't (imagine that the law etc). However, the fact that everyone has a different take or morality means that this certainly is a debatable topic. You and I may not be willing to change our stands on the topic, but the topic certainly isn't foregone. I can make my points, you can make yours - it is up to the audience (ie other people reading the thread) to agree or disagree.

I however don't hold the two wrong doings as equal. I think one is a greater misdeed and a greater betrayal of trust. I can't understand a person who has no barometer for the magnitude of an action.

I do have a barometer of the magnitude of an action (and I never said they were equally wrong - just both wrong). And I find his use of a spy program more abhorrent than his wife's cheating. That's my opinion - if you hold another one, that's fine.

What I'm trying to get people to understand is the fact that they were BOTH wrong. Yes, she was wrong to cheat. But he was also wrong to use a (possibly illegal) spy program to track her.

However... You are "different" correct? I don't mean any offense and I don't mean it as an insult. I have no issues with it, but I think you've mentioned it a few times and I think I understand how it is coloring your psychology. I wouldn't be surprised if your experiences made you value marriage that much less and personal liberties that much more. Traditional morality has not always been your friend, but the law has protected you. I didn't think of that before. I don't think I could make you change your mind, nor should I try.

You could say that. Which is why I think that the wife is an idiot. She should have never gotten married in the first place if she couldn't handle it. Or, she should have made arrangements for this in the first place. If the husband was free to get some on the side as well, and it was all out in the open, then the lies and spying would never have been necessary.

However, that said, I do take marriage very seriously. My spouse and I arranged out vows so that we could have an open marriage because we took that promise seriously. We made sure our promise was one we could keep.

Very true. I don't think I ever called him a hero though.

You, personally, didn't call him that, but that has been the general impression of the thread I'd read when I first posted. Sentiments like "good for him!" prevailed - and that is something I take issue with.

He did wrong as well. We can disagree about which of them was more wrong, but I think you and I can agree that they were both at least somewhat wrong.

Honestly, I don't know. You're asking a personal question and you can't bank on an answer to one of those.

No, one can't, but I'm trying to demonstrate that one might find such a thing offensive and upsetting.

Again, personal assessments. I think we're both guilty of not realizing we're making them. My apologies and take care. I will see you around, I'm certain.

Indeed. And no offense intended. I never meant to imply that there wasn't a degree of personal feelings involved in this. On moral issues, there is always personal bias. Which of them was more or less wrong is rather a moot point, anyway - I just would like people to understand that the husband is at least partly in the wrong too.

 

[ShakenBake]

How the hell did this get posted here too? Apologies to everyone. And yes getting cheated on sucks.

 

[Princess Rose]

Breaking the law is worse than cheating.

So exceeding the speed limit by 1 kph would be worse than cheating?

Right.

**rolls eyes**

Yeah, cause that's clearly what I meant. /sarcasm

Using an illegal wiretap to spy on someone can get you sent to prison. If (and note the if) this qualifies, then he has committed a felony, and may end up in prison.

Speeding isn't a felony.

 

[Starke]

Hilariously, this could actually be in violation of New York wiretapping laws.

Privacy laws still exist?

...I'm genuingly surprised by this.

If you're not a cop or a corporation? Yeah, you better believe it.

Hilariously, this could actually be in violation of New York wiretapping laws.

It's not a wiretap, it's more of a trace. and as he gave her the phone as a gift, and she accepted it as is, then I'm pretty sure it's actually legal.

Honestly, maybe not. There are rulings, though none I'm aware of in New York, that say that a person has an expectation of privacy to the location data on their cell phone, and that cell phone tracking like this is illegal without a warrant. As I recall, inserting tracing devices usually gets lumped in under the wiretapping provisions, though New York could have separate surveillance statutes.

Remember Wiretapping laws have expanded over the years to include internet traffic, and, I think, in the case of New York, intercepting or redirecting any electronic transmission. If you really care, I can go look it up and confirm my hazy recollections.

 

[ShakenBake]

Sometimes, two wrongs do make a right.