Are you....?
- Thread starter EPIC_MAN_OF_BACON
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I'm not happy, and its my own doing. For most of my life I have focused on having a joyful life, not necessarily a happy one. Most people would ask how can I have one but not the other, and to that I say happiness is based on what happens to your life, joy is a long lasting peace that you make yourself. It's the whole a square is a rectangle thing.
But even though I have peace and joy, I have completely ignored my happiness, in which I have perilously missed opportunities to have things happen that would result in a happy moment. A memory that I can look back on and re live the happiness. Usually to mask this feeling I smoke pot, which gives me a sense of relaxation (duh) but when I come down It looms over me like a dark ominous cloud.
Now I'm not always such a downer, just every so often, usually I'm positive (not happy, but not a negative person) and that makes life a brighter. I still think joy is more important, but happiness is important, just wished I had more of it.
Woah what a rant. Thank goodness no one reads these things after the 3rd page and if you do. I apologize for such a long comment. Haha.
But even though I have peace and joy, I have completely ignored my happiness, in which I have perilously missed opportunities to have things happen that would result in a happy moment. A memory that I can look back on and re live the happiness. Usually to mask this feeling I smoke pot, which gives me a sense of relaxation (duh) but when I come down It looms over me like a dark ominous cloud.
Now I'm not always such a downer, just every so often, usually I'm positive (not happy, but not a negative person) and that makes life a brighter. I still think joy is more important, but happiness is important, just wished I had more of it.
Woah what a rant. Thank goodness no one reads these things after the 3rd page and if you do. I apologize for such a long comment. Haha.
Socially happy? No. Mentally happy? No. The slightest things ruin my day, paranoia and obsessive compulsive disorder don't help either.
Great quote that made my day .Captain_Fantastic said:
Happy? No . Why ? I don't know . I usually try to not think about it , but when i do boy is it depressing . Honestly the only reason i keep myself going is because of pride . I cannot let my mother outlive me , if she does then she was right and she wins . But i have no interest in anything . No dreams , no goals . I'm basically just coasting through life without doing anything. If i could i would give mine to someone more deserving , or someone who has their life cut short ( i.e children with a terminal illness ). My life is a life wasted .
No...I'm just not.
When I compare real life to the amazing things I can think up and dream about, then realizing that they'll never happen and that I'll have to stay in plain, boring reality it makes me incredibly depressed.
When I compare real life to the amazing things I can think up and dream about, then realizing that they'll never happen and that I'll have to stay in plain, boring reality it makes me incredibly depressed.
Right now? No. I'm depressed, self-hating, suicidal, tired, the works. Wednesday I get to see a doctor who I'm terrified of and I feel like I have to confess my deepest secrets to them, yay.
Give me a few weeks though, I'll perk up and feel absolutely awesome (one of the things the doctor is checking for is bipolar)
Give me a few weeks though, I'll perk up and feel absolutely awesome (one of the things the doctor is checking for is bipolar)
I could go either way. Useless but hey.
I started my new uni placement today, which went really well, but last night the girl who made me mess up my last placement called me at 2am after a near 2 month break in communications. Normally I'd pick up because apparently I'm completely masochistic, but I didn't. I love talking to her and I desperately want to call her, but shes not good for me at all. So I didn't.
Fuck I miss her. Working with her was not productive but hell it was fun.
I started my new uni placement today, which went really well, but last night the girl who made me mess up my last placement called me at 2am after a near 2 month break in communications. Normally I'd pick up because apparently I'm completely masochistic, but I didn't. I love talking to her and I desperately want to call her, but shes not good for me at all. So I didn't.
Fuck I miss her. Working with her was not productive but hell it was fun.
I've been depressed as long as I can remember I always thought it was normal until my fiancé decided to take me to a doctor for a diagnosis, it is actually impossible for me to feel happy ever. I try to be more realistic with my feelings however and just feeling 'normal' (y'know not feeling like I should off myself) is a massive achievement for me and keeps me going.
Not as happy as I would like. I can barely say I'm content, really. Just a lot of stress due to finances and trying to get my masters degree. I also live in an area where none of my friends are, so communication is limited to texts and skype. Due to this, I rarely go anywhere, so I'm stuck in my room more than I'd like to be.
im now feeling better then when i last posted in this thread, yay for lithium.
after reading this thread and seeing other people post about their lives all i can say is i hope things improve in my life. oh well at least i have borderlnds 2 too look forward to, so i wont be commiting suicide anytime soon.
but yeah, as with a few others ive seen in this thread my life sucks complete and utter dogballs.
after reading this thread and seeing other people post about their lives all i can say is i hope things improve in my life. oh well at least i have borderlnds 2 too look forward to, so i wont be commiting suicide anytime soon.
but yeah, as with a few others ive seen in this thread my life sucks complete and utter dogballs.
Vault101 said:
No, you can never fully achieve anything without at least some criticism as to how it could have been better. The least you can get with a successful life is "good enough." You can do better, but it's unlikely.
I'm a pretty basic fellow and I do okay by me, but I don't think everyone can achieve happiness. At least not in the manner of the OP.
I should clarify; I don't think everyone is capable of feeling happiness in the manner of the OP. Some of us are very driven and are forever condemned to a kind of Zeno's paradox with happiness. Some of us will always be anxious.
Basically most of us are crazy. You'd need to be pretty mentally stable to find happiness. I mean totally able to set your own goals and achieve them whilst existing as some sort of aristotelian ideal.
I should clarify; I don't think everyone is capable of feeling happiness in the manner of the OP. Some of us are very driven and are forever condemned to a kind of Zeno's paradox with happiness. Some of us will always be anxious.
Basically most of us are crazy. You'd need to be pretty mentally stable to find happiness. I mean totally able to set your own goals and achieve them whilst existing as some sort of aristotelian ideal.