Aversion to Children

[Raggedstar]

I don't like children either (and a woman to boot). I wouldn't run one over with my car and if one was in danger I would help, but I don't tend to have as much patience with them. I feel no need to have sex and multiply (fuck, no world needs more of me) and I don't like to be left with them alone for an extended period of time. If the kid is respectful and clean despite the age (or if we have common interests like certain video games and movies) I can "lower my bar" and do things, but my usual limit is around 10 years. Newborns I want nothing to do with though, especially if smelly or crying. In short, pretty much all my emotions one would normally have towards children and babies I have more to baby animals.

Spoiler: And now an adorable picture of a baby tortoise trying to eat a strawberry

Speaking of which, I don't get the whole "well you were once a child too". You're right, I was. I hated kids my own age and younger too for the same reasons as I do today and there are a shitton of things I did as a kid that I don't like of myself. Though at the same time I was quiet, somewhat clean, respected animals, and never broke or stole anything. So maybe that doesn't count as being a child.

EDIT: Forgot to mention I'm also in my mid 20s. I doubt I'll "grow out of it" and I'm quite content how I am.

 

[ExtraDebit]

I hate kids too.....and adults.....and old people.

I don't discriminate on who I hate, I'm fair that way.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

I enjoy children, but only in moderation. I love spending time with kids, but only if it's a few hours once every couple of months or so. Any more than that and children start to bug me, the reason being that children seem to only be able to behave themselves for a couple of hours at a time, and the rest of the time tend to be noisy and cantankerous, and I just don't want to deal with them.

I don't want kids of my own either. I don't have a lot of patience for people, and I'm generally kind of a selfish person. I like having space and time to myself and I hate being bothered when I'm busy.

 

[MysticSlayer]

I don't really hate children, but I just don't know how to interact with them. This has gotten a little better over the years as I spend more time around young couples who are just starting to raise their own families, but I still can't seem to feel comfortable around them. It has a lot to do with how little self-awareness they often require of you, and I have a very hard time letting go of my self-awareness. Granted, kids always find a way to get someone to play with them, but it isn't like I go out of my way to do it. Of course, I'll probably get better at interacting with them over time, hopefully before I start having children of my own, which at this rate doesn't seem highly unlikely.

As for the more unpleasant side of children: Haven't experienced enough of it to really comment. Oddly, though, I rarely get annoyed by screaming children. Sometimes I even find it sort of humorous of how they always seem to manage to pick the wrong time to throw a temper tantrum.

 

[Nieroshai]

My only real issue is that I find adults to be as annoying and painful to be around as so many seem to find children. It's people who hate children that make children's lives miserable, and help them grow up to be bad, socially inept people, or at least so I find in my own personal experience with people I know.

 

[Coruptin]

its a case by case basis obviously but in general:
0-4 years old i find inoffensive and really more of a non presence.
5-11, i enjoy interacting with sometimes as the way their imagination works, their boundaries of fiction and reality, and their sense of narrative is honestly refreshing and fun.
12-15, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA no; i still remember being around this age, i was a contrarian dickhead who didnt show a modicum of respect for anything nor anybody. god bless middle school teachers you are all true heroes
16-18, it's a mixed bag. i am also only 20 so i feel perhaps i havent had enough time to reflect on these years

 

[-Ezio-]

you're not alone. i hate kids. too noisy, and they always seem to be in the way when i'm out during the day.
even being around my own niece and nephew makes me uncomfortable, mostly because i dont know how to deal with them (obviously i dont hate them).

 

[Yan007]

If it makes you feel any better OP, I like children, but I don't want any. I'm getting a vasectomy done soon to make sure it never happens and I'm 29. Not everyone has to have children and the happiest people I know don't have any tbh.

 

[thesilentman]

Nah, you're not alone OP. I don't mind children, but a good number of them exhibit what we older people call "being an ass". For me at least, it's only very rarely that a "playful action" from a child happens to be that way. It ends up just making me annoyed to all hell.

That said, there are some genuinely nice children out there and they are wonderful to talk to. But I can see why people have an aversion to children.

 

[FPLOON]

I think the reason why I can't really hate children, in general, is because, in my mind, I'm still a child myself, despite being a certified adult within the court of law... I would probably be both the best and worse babysitter because any sort of limits a child would normally have would barely exist because I would probably join in on their mayhem and shenanigans while simultaneously connecting with them to the point that they trust me almost to a fault...

Do I want kids of my own? I still have no idea at this point... because I would rather wonder about finding a mate to just spend some quality time together...

 

[Silverbeard]

Not unusual, OP. I'm not too up on the idea of children either- mostly because I don't really consider myself a paragon of the human race worthy of passing on my genes to a new generation. I'd just be better off without the headache.
The central fright I have comes from the idea of being responsible for a life. If I end up getting a lady to drop a mongrel into the world then it becomes mine. And... what if it comes out missing an eye? Or a leg? Or part of its brain?

Just the thought of caring for such a creature fills me with dread. I don't want to create a life if I'm not absolutely certain that I can preserve it. And as it stands now, that will never happen.

So I avoid intercourse too, OP, and that shouldn't be something you feel ashamed of either. Contraceptives are not absolutely foolproof and major surgical alteration makes me feel nervous so I avoid the whole thing entirely.

 

[TaboriHK]

I don't think it's weird to hate kids, but I do think it's weird to go into a heavily detailed list of all their 'shortcomings.' I'm no fan of kids myself but my explanation begins and ends at 'Maybe I'll like them more when they're older.'

 

[mrdude2010]

I sure as hell don't want kids. It's not weird to not want or like kids, and I'm guessing a lot of people feel the same way. Some eventually decide they do want kids, some don't.

 

[Yan007]

major surgical alteration makes me feel nervous so I avoid the whole thing entirely.

Although a vasectomy is major as in pretty much definitive, you shouldn't be nervous about the procedure. From what I read and saw online and through conversations I had with other men who had the procedure done, it has an extremely marginal rate of complications (my surgeon only had 2 cases who needed further treatments due to complications in his 14 years doing the procedure, 20 patients a day, 5 days per week). Also, most guys who had it done said it was either completely painless or not painful enough to bother them past a few days.

I personally can't wait for mine and finally be free. Yes, I'll still use condoms, but I'll be sure there won't be any "oopss, child support kekekeke^_^." My life is pretty cool right now and I don't want this to change.

 

[Bayushi_Kouya]

I don't like infants, babies, and toddlers. Once kids hit about 4 years old (varies by development, all kids are different on the maturation scales), when they can communicate and understand that other people exist, they get loads more tolerable.

I think a large part of it for me, is my current life. I'm just starting my career, and basically exist just a little bit above the ramen level for food and lodging. I think if I were more comfortable with my life, I'd be more tolerant of babies. Because I wouldn't be smoking hand-rolled super-stress cigars every two hours that I'm awake.

But enough about me, let's talk about you, OP. Do NOT be ashamed of who you are. Everyone has their own opinions and preferences, and yours are no less valid than anyone else's. Decide how you feel and stand your ground. The people who say stupid shit to you like 'You'll come around,' or whatever, they're trying to belittle and other you. Don't get sucked into their trap. Let their hate roll off you like water off a duck's back. Do not respond. Don't give them control of your self-esteem.

And I know it's corny, but you're not alone. There are loads of us not interested in reproducing. My recommendation is this: be awesome, whether you have reproduced or not. If you are awesome, other people's kids will want to be like you, and success is the best revenge.

 

[King Billi]

I personally love children and while I can certainly understand why so many people don't feel the same way I have absolutely no tolerance for adults who insult or are contemptuous of children, note that I said 'adult' there. Yes we were all children once but once you are an adult a certain degree of understanding and maturity is expected of you. Basically if you hurt or in anyway degrade a child because of your own selfish attitude towards them then you are a scumbag, simple as that.

 

[Brainpaint]

It depends on the child. Adults say "Why would you hate children?" because they think theirs are so damn amazing because they're "theirs". Forgetting what they themselves think about other people's kids. Children are individuals first but they're just trying to figure out who they're supposed to be.

I like kids in general. I miss having them around because when I was growing up there was a good few to talk to and get to know as developing people.
I visited my dad's relatives back home a while back and got to chat with the nine-year old daughter of a family friend about my pets and why I don't like spiders.

It doesn't take much to understand a child and learn to appreciate their individual take on the world as long as you haven't killed off the one in yourself.

It bother's me though when people clearly not ready for kids (still living with their parents, have no job, etc) are having them just because everybody else their age is. I'll have to deal with that at lot since I'm now 25 and have already been undergoing that experience for a while.
When I was 18 years old, a woman at my mum's work was perplexed as to why she wasn't a grandmother yet. When my mum told her, "my eldest is 18 and my youngest is 16", the woman's response was equivalent to "So?" and then went on to talk abotu how her 20 year old daughter was expecting her 3rd.

BTW a good number of my peers in my home town got pregnant at 13. Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD have a kid.

People that are wary about children and their future with them get a thumbs up in my book. It's means you're actually putting THOUGHT into it!

 

[KOMega]

I wouldn't like to have kids.

Building on your first two points:
1- they are expensive
2- they are expensive for medical reasons

3- my childhood was crap, and I'm confident I can at best maybe provide one only marginally better.
4- they take incredible amounts of patience and understanding to raise properly. Patience and understanding that I don't think is in me, neither is it in a majority of people.

As for "You were a child once you know" I hated myself as a child and looking back I hated the child that was me.

 

[persephone]

I used to like children, but now that I have serious health problems that aren't readily apparently upon meeting me, I generally avoid them. You can't explain to a kid "no, really I have X, Y, and Z invisible problems" and expect them to achieve any sort of understanding of what you mean by that. The end result is that they get confused when you're not like other adults, and it doesn't go well.

However, even when I still liked being around kids, I came to the conclusion that I didn't want any myself. I mentioned this to my ex once, and he had the most startling response: he said that it would be a shame if I was never a mother. I was rather put off by this idea -- that I should be a mother simply *because*. Never mind taking into account the circumstances under which I would undertake this journey, or with whom, or whether it was a good idea, or whether I *wanted to do it*. Or anything reasonable like that.

I think that my ex's reaction is in part a reflection of society as a whole's stance on parenthood -- that not achieving it is somehow a failure, and achieving it is somehow a good thing in and of itself. I'm all for parenthood in general, but I've seen too many fucked up families to believe that everyone should have children.

Anyway, no, it is not weird or wrong in any way to not like children or pregnancy, and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to expand their worldview and stop being a jerk.

It is a little odd that you don't like the idea of someone getting pregnant, though. If it's their choice, and they've made that choice in good circumstances with support and care and are ready as is possible for the consequences of their choice, then their suffering (because yes, pregnancy and childcare involve a lot of suffering) will one day yield a new adult in the world, and that can be a wonderful thing.

But, so long as it's just a private aversion sort of thing, as opposed to you turning into one of those people who think the human race should stop breeding and purposefully die out, then I wouldn't worry about it (or let others get you down about it). Sometimes people make a sacrifice for a cause they care about, and sometimes that cause is children.

To make a comparison: I'd never want to walk into a plague zone and dedicate months or years to treating sufferers, not least because I'd be risking my health or even my life to do it. I wouldn't want anyone to go through that, full stop. BUT, the end results are largely positive and the world is a better place if someone does make that sacrifice and spend time treating people in a plague zone. It'd be a good thing they did, just not a thing everyone's called to do. Now, pregnancy and childbirth aren't exactly a doctor walking into a plague zone, but like the plague zone thing, they can use someone's sacrifices to make the world a better place.

 

[shintakie10]

Words can not describe my contempt for children, for basically all the reasons the OP listed (minus the body thing, never really found pregnant women unattractive). Loud, smelly, annoying, self-centered, rude, loud, expensive, loud, did I mention loud?

Seriously, whats with the screaming? They scream when they're angry. They scream when they're happy. They whine while they're screaming which is quite possibly the most annoying sound in the world and everyone is supposed to just act like this is perfectly acceptable because that's how kids are. Nope, its not and it annoys the hell out of me that people think that way.

I know all the evidence that shows you really shouldn't hit kids, but every time I'm stuck in a checkout line behind some dimwitted parent who is tryin really hard to negotiate with friggin Timmy the 5 year old to not throw the groceries all over the floor (or worse I'm the guy behind the checkout counter tryin to ring up the stupid SoB) I always have the same reaction. Will someone please smack that child so we can get on with our live and I can just pay for my damn candy bar.