B&E with 1 item

[wildpeaks]

The saddest part about this thread is that I don't have most things mentionned in this thread, not even a left testicle

Best anti-theft protection: having nothing valuable

 

[the.gill123]

A copy of the PSX game "Hogs of War".

I say this, because many, many years ago my copy of that game went missing. I searched through my entire house to no avail, and for the next few weeks I would randomly stop whatever I was doing just to search for it again. Eventually, I stopped doing that but approximately every year or so I would turn my entire house inside out yet again just looking for that game. I finally lost all hope of finding it when I moved, and even when the house had been completely emptied it just didn't turn up.

To whoever stole my Hogs of War disc, I would just like to say: FUCK YOU.

That's funny, last night I was going through some old PS2 games, that I'm trying to get rid of, and stumbled across one PS1 game, it was Hogs of War. I have no idea where the hell it came from, it's just appeared in my bag of games.


OT I'd take a cow, and leave it upstairs

 

[DigitalSushi]

I'm crying with laughter at this thread, shine on you crazy fucking diamonds.

A copy of the PSX game "Hogs of War".

I say this, because many, many years ago my copy of that game went missing. I searched through my entire house to no avail, and for the next few weeks I would randomly stop whatever I was doing just to search for it again. Eventually, I stopped doing that but approximately every year or so I would turn my entire house inside out yet again just looking for that game. I finally lost all hope of finding it when I moved, and even when the house had been completely emptied it just didn't turn up.

To whoever stole my Hogs of War disc, I would just like to say: FUCK YOU.

I do that with Monsters Inc. and Batman, not the Nolan Batman but the Tim Burton film from 1989 in VHS format, now I've moved houses several times and I've actually moved into a different country since but I will still randomly search for my VHS of Batman, its a fun game, I have no idea what's going through my head at the time but I'm like "FUCK IT, WHERE'S BATMAN?" and I will search high and low for it.

OT: I wouldn't take anything, but I would rearrange things, like take the TV casing off flip the screen and put the TV casing back on, so when they try to watch tele its upside down, this is a feat I have successfully managed on my ex GF because she wouldn't stop banging on about how awesome her TV was.

 

[dfcrackhead]

A single leg from their dining room table and then prop it up with a bunch of phonebooks, but not enough phonebooks so it's ever so slightly wobbly and off balance

 

[Jaime_Wolf]

Their house.
You all stand defeated.

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

 

[Rednog]

I'm taking the toilet, seriously imagine the annoyance, the owners would have to either go to a gas station or to a neighbor's house every time until they get a new one installed...and who in the blue hell steals the toilet?!

 

[FernandoV]

Their child. I'd leave a finger though.

 

[Crusader1089]

Their wall.

 

[JaceArveduin]

I'd learn how to discreetly disable remotes, then I'd disable all of the remotes in the house.

 

[Captain-Giggles]

Replace all their photos with Bill Cosby, each with a recording to sound "Zip zop zoobidy Bop!" at random intervals in the day.

 

[Berenzen]

I'd take out the front door, then I can come back and take out all other doors from the house, then leave everything else.

 

[Berenzen]

I'd take out the breaker/fuse box, imagine trying to live without electricity until you had an electrician come in and reinstall said box

 

[Berenzen]

EDIT: sorry, delayed post resulted in a double post

 

[Berenzen]

EDIT: sorry, delayed post resulted in a double post

 

[theheroofaction]

In: music player, max volume, playing cricket chirps on infinite loop.
Out: The kitchen sink.

 

[Malgan]

Great thread, lots of the responses here made me chuckle.

OT: I'd take out an essential part of the freezer, rendering all their food reserves rotten and smelly. Or I'd take out chair resulting in the family having one too little chair in the house for all of them too sit down on.

If it's what I would take in, I would take in gum. Lots and lots of gum, and stick it everywhere.

 

[-Samurai-]

A single dinner plate. Then every time they'd get plates for food, they'd be like "I could have sworn we had another plate...".

 

[v3n0mat3]

The Chimney. The hearth, flue, and all.

*EDIT* Spray paint "HO HO HO", and leave a little note in their children's bedroom that says "I KNOW."

 

[chadachada123]

Scissors. All of them.

 

[ZeroMachine]

I would...

First, I shit in the middle of their living room.

Just leave a nice, perfect turd right there.

And then I take the TV remote.

Disgusting, yet... elegant. Fuck it, I'd take this guy's idea.