Be a douche!

[Broken Orange]

Here, I'll remove it.

My mom is on her death bed, I meed someone to drive me to the hospital.

 

[RockyH]

I booked a taxi... Then gave it wrong directions.

I want cash so I can go to uni.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Go prostitute yourself. Easy.

I need my cough syrup.

 

[Shotzey]

Steal it from the crippled lady in 1-A.

Not enough money to ride the bus.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Shit in a bowl and add milk. If you're cooking, it'll taste like that no matter what you use.

I'm making macaroni and cheese. Who wants some?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

Your sister. Oh, wait, no she doesn't, she's dead.

I have a bad habit of being a douche.

 

[SPCF]

So does yer mother.
I need a better computer.

 

[Safe in the Dark]

And poor people need basic living needs you Twat.

I just finished Stalking your mom.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

We have the same mother, jackass.

I work as a waiter.

 

[Heart of Darkness]

Good. Now stop yakking and get me my goddamn soup!

There's a fly in my soup. What's he doing in there?

 

[Lepre-Khan]

He's just a bomb I made for you to accidentally ingest so I can control your bowels and give you the gift of explosive diareah for the rest of your life because I hated you after just looking at you five minutes ago.

Theirs soup on my fly! Whats it doing there?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

We were out of garbage. So I used the second worst thing in this restaurant to season your entree.

I think I broke my scouter.

 

[GodofDisaster]

Here let me fix it for you.

Smashes computer with a sledge hammer.

I'm lost in a forest and can't find my way home.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Burn it down and die in the subsequent fire. No one wants you here anyway.

I just ran out of laundry detergent...

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Use the damn river, jackass!

This water if contaminated.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

Drink it! People in Africa would kill for it.

I dropped my shoe

 

[Alexeduardo]

Better make sure you don't step on it, or you'll overflow the doofus sink.

I just made "doofus sink" up and it sucks ass.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Of course. Anything you do sucks ass.

I can't find my car keys.

 

[SoloStoffe]

You won't need them anyways, I stole your car.

I got lifetime in jail for a crime I didn't do.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Wanna put the pink bow I sent you on? How are you meant to be everyone's ***** with a face like that?

I'm locked out of my house.