Being an Adult Sucks

[stroopwafel]

I absolutely hated adolescence, the flood of hormones and raw emotions and acne that comes with it(none of which I ever asked for). Desperate attempts to try and fit in, looking for an identity to cling onto, being dependent on decisions other people made for you, horny as a goat but no girlfriend to bang, being overly aware of other people's perceptions, trying to act cool while in reality you're just an anxious little shit, insecurity about the future, your (lack of) friends, relationships etc.

Turning 30 was actually one of the best things that ever happened to me. From that moment on I cared for none of those things anymore. Your hormones mellow out, you gained a sense of perspective and understanding(one that can only be accumulated through life experience), friends and relationships become less of a necessity(so you become less emotionally dependent), you have a firm grasp of who you are and other people's perceptions of you mean little to nothing anymore. Fuck, I even look better now that the oily face and acne is gone. People who say your teens and twenties are the best time of your life. BULLSHIT. It fucking sucks. Maybe not for everyone but for many. Probably the vast majority(similarly as the amount of people who actually make it in life). The fairy dust of Hollywood and popular culture even had me fooled but it's pretty obvious when you wake up that life isn't really like that. And even those 'best case' scenario people who now probably have all their finances drained by mortgages and kids and other family obligations with almost no possibility to change their shit 9-to-5 jobs(cause mortgages, kids etc.); are they really all that happy? If I see the grumpy faces of people living that lifestyle, its a resounding 'no'.

I have my own (very succesful)business so thank fuck I don't have to linger in that hell called 'the workplace'(or atleast not as an employee) but still, if I can make it anyone can(highschool drop-out and all). The 'never again' of adolescence was definitely a strong motivator though. Thinking about my tweens still gives me the shivers. My adolescence also left me with my life philosophy that you have to make your own fun and fuck what everyone else thinks.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

I understand now why the Bible left out Jesus's Teen years. Adolescence suck.

Christopher Moore didn't. http://www.chrismoore.com/books/lamb/

So what your saying is, we've finally found Jesus?

At the very least, we've come closer to understanding where he learned kung fu.

Good god, the 90s comics where correct! [img=here]http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/3/38919/1926607-godyssey.jpg[/img]

We should have known.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Just going to leave this here.

Then you get kicked out of your apartment for making a mess and causing a ruckus ;_;.

 

[Belaam]

Being an adult is awesome. Being single was awesome - I got to decide what I did every day: go kayaking? Play video games? Hang out along reading? Whatever. Change jobs and get an education until I find a career I want to stay in? Awesome. Dating and lovers and heartbreak and going on adventures? Even the bad ones ended up being great life experiences in time. Being the sole decider of how and where I spent my time was fantastic. I lived in several states, did many things on more or less a whim (including a one-way plane ticket to Alaska to work in the fishing industry one summer), drove across USA's highway 10 coast to coast, etc. in addition to the fishing, I spent four years in the Air Force, worked a variety of jobs that each paid better than the last, and while I was never rolling around in money, was always able to save up for what I really wanted to do.

Being married is just as awesome. Always have a Player Two ready to go, someone who was out having their own single adventures with tons of stuff to now show and share with me, all great. We still pick great adventures together. They took a bit of a dip for a while she we had kids, but the youngest is out of diapers now and the exploration and adventure has been ramping back up. We still are the primary decision makers when it comes to where we live, how/where we vacation or spend extra money/time, and are generally not beholden to anyone.

Pre-adulthood, you only have as much ability to dictate your life as given to you by your parents and even then, whatever you have is almost solely as a gift from an adult. True, you don't have the responsibilities, but if you plan well, the responsibilities can be managed without too much bother and the freedoms more than make up for it. It's a little odd that I'm so focused on having the ability to dictate your own life as growing up, my parents were not strict and I worked from High School on and had access to my own income to do things, but perhaps having more freedom than many of my classmates gave me a taste for it.

TL;DR the benefit of adulthood over childhood is that if your life sucks, you have more options to change it yourself.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Pffff, no. Having my own apartment rocks.

 

[Zipzip the Penguin]

Recognizing myself somewhat in OP's post and haven taken in everyone's advice to basically not care what anyone else thinks, I have but one question..

How do I not care?

Stop caring about your relationships with other people outside of friends. That's how I do it.
Then again, I'm not an adult.

 

[Callate]

Yeah, sometimes it does.

But it does have its own rewards. Like not having to obey a lot of rules unless they're codified into law. Being able to choose whether or not you want people to be part of your life (assuming, of course, that they choose to make you part of theirs.) Being free, or at least considerably less burdened, of a lot of ongoing expectations of teachers and family.

I'll grant that I have a lot less free time than I did in college, and God knows I view sleep and its necessity in an entirely different light. But I wouldn't choose what I had over what I have. (Unless, y'know, I could take advantage of what I know now about the tech bubble, then go back and make mostly the same choices again anyway. Having gratuitous amounts of cash does make some things easier.)

 

[Belaam]

Recognizing myself somewhat in OP's post and haven taken in everyone's advice to basically not care what anyone else thinks, I have but one question..

How do I not care?

Stop caring about your relationships with other people outside of friends. That's how I do it.
Then again, I'm not an adult.

Nope that's pretty much it. Do what you love. Find a career/boss that will allow you to either do it they way you want or figure out a way to keep said boss/company happy enough with you that they want you to do it again tomorrow. This is much easier to do if you are in a field you enjoy. I am a far better teacher than I was a telemarketer because I give a shit about my students, but not whether or not you want a home improvement loan (I'm sorry, I was paying off a credit card and it had a very flexible schedule).

Doing what you love and occasionally saying "hi" to people around you doing the same thing is a far better way to meet friend than trying to change yourself or another's views of you. It is impossible to please everyone, so don't waste time trying. My view is that pretty much everyone is in the closet one way or another, if only in an effort to not have to deal with that crazy uncle's rants at Thanksgiving. But really, it's far easier to come out of the closet, just be whoever you are and let your pool of friends self-select itself away or closer.

And that, is another benefit of being an adult - you don't need to worry about being grounded/kicked out of the house for speaking your mind. Just try to ensure that the people leaving you are leaving you because of your beliefs and not because you're being an ass about them.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I don?t know if it?s any better than being a teenager, but? I?m simultaneously excited and scared shitless for when I have to go to university later this year. I barely know how to iron my own fucking clothes, let alone actually sustain myself in a new city and not, y?know, die. And if I find it difficult to find enjoyment out of most things as a teenager, then how the fuck will I be able to stop myself from going mad from boredom when I go out in the real world?

But my mum tells me these are just normal worries, there?s always help available, and I?ll pick up these things as I go along. I am pretty proud of myself that I can cook a decent meal of pasta without burning the house down, because it?s less that I can?t do these things and more that I unintentionally create a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure for myself. And, being 19 now, it sure is nice that my mum basically doesn?t give a shit whenever I return home in the small hours, and she?s pretty much given up on telling me what time I should get off the computer, to the point that some days I?m the one who ends up apologizing to her unprompted for only logging off at, like, quarter to 1am.

Regarding growing up, I?ve passed the point of caring too much about what other people think of me. It?s just that, as a child, if you fuck up, it?s still legally your parents? or your teacher?s or whoever?s fault, because you?re too young and ignorant to know any better. As an adult, regardless of how ignorant you may still be, you?re royally ass-fucked if you fuck up because it will be entirely your responsibility if you fail to pay your bills, or miss a week of work, etc. Essentially, all the shit that you saw your parents somehow manage to do without their brains and hands exploding is what you?ll have to do ? and triple that if you end up having children too. Money isn?t just something you get given anymore; well, I mean, it is, but a chunk of that gets taken away in tax to pay for shit you probably don?t even agree with anyway.

Anyway, if you?ll excuse me, I?m going to go off and read my sci-fi books while I can.

Oh, one last thing. If adulthood sucks, that?s more than likely because life itself sucks, generally. Sometimes, even having too much freedom can be bad. Like, if you?re an adult but you still have the mentality of a child to just want to eat all the unhealthy junk food and chocolate and whatnot you like without anyone to stop you until it?s too late and you?re a fat bastard who can?t lose the pounds without even more hard work. Oh, and you?ve got an assignment to hand in or else you?re fired, but don?t relax after that, ?cos you?ve got to go to the doctor about that string of illnesses you?ve been getting because your body starts breaking down with age. And you want to go out on the weekend and have a drink, but all your friends from secondary school and university have all but drifted away from you and now you only have a few fuckers that you keep company with and THEY are always busy TOO! WTF?!

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I don?t know if it?s any better than being a teenager, but? I?m simultaneously excited and scared shitless for when I have to go to university later this year. I barely know how to iron my own fucking clothes, let alone actually sustain myself in a new city and not, y?know, die. And if I find it difficult to find enjoyment out of most things as a teenager, then how the fuck will I be able to stop myself from going mad from boredom when I go out in the real world?

But my mum tells me these are just normal worries, there?s always help available, and I?ll pick up these things as I go along. I am pretty proud of myself that I can cook a decent meal of pasta without burning the house down, because it?s less that I can?t do these things and more that I unintentionally create a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure for myself. And, being 19 now, it sure is nice that my mum basically doesn?t give a shit whenever I return home in the small hours, and she?s pretty much given up on telling me what time I should get off the computer, to the point that some days I?m the one who ends up apologizing to her unprompted for only logging off at, like, quarter to 1am.

Regarding growing up, I?ve passed the point of caring too much about what other people think of me. It?s just that, as a child, if you fuck up, it?s still legally your parents? or your teacher?s or whoever?s fault, because you?re too young and ignorant to know any better. As an adult, regardless of how ignorant you may still be, you?re royally ass-fucked if you fuck up because it will be entirely your responsibility if you fail to pay your bills, or miss a week of work, etc. Essentially, all the shit that you saw your parents somehow manage to do without their brains and hands exploding is what you?ll have to do ? and triple that if you end up having children too. Money isn?t just something you get given anymore; well, I mean, it is, but a chunk of that gets taken away in tax to pay for shit you probably don?t even agree with anyway.

Anyway, if you?ll excuse me, I?m going to go off and read my sci-fi books while I can.

Oh, one last thing. If adulthood sucks, that?s more than likely because life itself sucks, generally. Sometimes, even having too much freedom can be bad. Like, if you?re an adult but you still have the mentality of a child to just want to eat all the unhealthy junk food and chocolate and whatnot you like without anyone to stop you until it?s too late and you?re a fat bastard who can?t lose the pounds without even more hard work. Oh, and you?ve got an assignment to hand in or else you?re fired, but don?t relax after that, ?cos you?ve got to go to the doctor about that string of illnesses you?ve been getting because your body starts breaking down with age. And you want to go out on the weekend and have a drink, but all your friends from secondary school and university have all but drifted away from you and now you only have a few fuckers that you keep company with and THEY are always busy TOO! WTF?!

Things come in time from experience. As long as you don't end up killing yourself with a fuck up, nothing you screw up is irreparable. Its only a life-lesson (and maybe a week without power, or scrambling to find rent money) that ends up making you a better human. Parents can arm you with some knowledge, but ultimately its experience (and sometimes being sick of eating only ramen) that ends up putting you in a mindset to make life not suck.
Life is what you make it, and is a job in itself when you become an adult. But its like anything else, once you've done it enough its not as hard or daunting as it seemed at the outset.

 

[Godhead]

That's why adults get things like booze, smoking, porn, sex and all the other stuff kids aren't allowed to do. It's to make up for the fact that you become an adult.

 

[lacktheknack]

I cottoned on to this well before becoming an adult. So I'm screwing around with the growing up process a bit.

I'm currently staying at an orphanage where my job is to act like a big kid. I regret nothing.

 

[Ikasury]

my biggest problem with being an adult is the utter lack of motivation or desire to do anything but sit around and watch old shows because i'm now old enough to watch them by myself and all the new stuff kinda sucks... also political bs and paperwork, and no one to do that stuff for you...

i'm fine with bills, when it makes sense, they're easy to just put aside... its just that lack of wanting to do anything cause you're old enough to realize no one cares, nothing you do will do anything, and no you can't do all the fun things you watched in shows as a kid because mediocrity... woo~

once you realize how pointless it all is, you kinda stop giving a fuck what other people say about you spending all your free time watching old anime from the 90s and playing video games... killing god in a digital medium while watching all of uncut DBZ feels like i'm accomplishing something today :3

 

[Ikasury]

Just going to leave this here.

love it, just have to say, made me happy :3

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I don?t know if it?s any better than being a teenager, but? I?m simultaneously excited and scared shitless for when I have to go to university later this year. I barely know how to iron my own fucking clothes, let alone actually sustain myself in a new city and not, y?know, die. And if I find it difficult to find enjoyment out of most things as a teenager, then how the fuck will I be able to stop myself from going mad from boredom when I go out in the real world?

But my mum tells me these are just normal worries, there?s always help available, and I?ll pick up these things as I go along. I am pretty proud of myself that I can cook a decent meal of pasta without burning the house down, because it?s less that I can?t do these things and more that I unintentionally create a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure for myself. And, being 19 now, it sure is nice that my mum basically doesn?t give a shit whenever I return home in the small hours, and she?s pretty much given up on telling me what time I should get off the computer, to the point that some days I?m the one who ends up apologizing to her unprompted for only logging off at, like, quarter to 1am.

Regarding growing up, I?ve passed the point of caring too much about what other people think of me. It?s just that, as a child, if you fuck up, it?s still legally your parents? or your teacher?s or whoever?s fault, because you?re too young and ignorant to know any better. As an adult, regardless of how ignorant you may still be, you?re royally ass-fucked if you fuck up because it will be entirely your responsibility if you fail to pay your bills, or miss a week of work, etc. Essentially, all the shit that you saw your parents somehow manage to do without their brains and hands exploding is what you?ll have to do ? and triple that if you end up having children too. Money isn?t just something you get given anymore; well, I mean, it is, but a chunk of that gets taken away in tax to pay for shit you probably don?t even agree with anyway.

Anyway, if you?ll excuse me, I?m going to go off and read my sci-fi books while I can.

Oh, one last thing. If adulthood sucks, that?s more than likely because life itself sucks, generally. Sometimes, even having too much freedom can be bad. Like, if you?re an adult but you still have the mentality of a child to just want to eat all the unhealthy junk food and chocolate and whatnot you like without anyone to stop you until it?s too late and you?re a fat bastard who can?t lose the pounds without even more hard work. Oh, and you?ve got an assignment to hand in or else you?re fired, but don?t relax after that, ?cos you?ve got to go to the doctor about that string of illnesses you?ve been getting because your body starts breaking down with age. And you want to go out on the weekend and have a drink, but all your friends from secondary school and university have all but drifted away from you and now you only have a few fuckers that you keep company with and THEY are always busy TOO! WTF?!

Things come in time from experience. As long as you don't end up killing yourself with a fuck up, nothing you screw up is irreparable. Its only a life-lesson (and maybe a week without power, or scrambling to find rent money) that ends up making you a better human. Parents can arm you with some knowledge, but ultimately its experience (and sometimes being sick of eating only ramen) that ends up putting you in a mindset to make life not suck.
Life is what you make it, and is a job in itself when you become an adult. But its like anything else, once you've done it enough its not as hard or daunting as it seemed at the outset.

Yeah, I suppose. I do hope things don't turn out as terrifying as I tend to predict, and my family and friends indeed tell me that one of my bad habits is that I criticize myself too much and undersell my positives (that's probably down to the depression, I guess).

But yeah, thanks. I need an objective reminder about stuff like this every now and then.

 

[lechat]

Starting to see a trend here.

you can't eat what you want because you get fat and/or die young.
You can't buy what you want because you need to pay bills or have financial goals.
You can't go to bed when you want because you will be a zombie at work the next day.
You can't wear what you want because others will judge you.

You can't do what you want because that will affect the way others see you, your resources or your life span and that will have an effect on your quality of life and your future.
every day i have to weigh up whether to do some more overtime or stay at home and play some video games, stay up late or get some rest to make it through the next day, wear a pink tutu or my uniform, eat a bowl of icecream or a salad.

The choices we make establish us as responsible adults or man child fuck ups and i like to think my parents tried their best to set me on the right path to achieve that even if it did take me a decade or two too long to realize.

 

[Diaconu Cristian]

I seem to be in the minority here but being an adult is awesome for me...
Why? Cuz I'm not actually an adult as most see it. I'm basically a kid with a paycheck and nobody telling me to not do X or Y.
When I was a kid my life was dull: go to class-> go home and do homework-> maybe have some fun with friends after.
All in all class and homework meant more time for me than 8 hours of work per day.
Now after work I'm free to do anything I please. I don't bother with work either. Learned as a kid that it's best to just ignore most things (including people). I just try to have a fresh and creative mind. This has served me well at work(raises/changing jobs/etc) and I never did any after hours (I decided even before starting to work that I will never do that seeing how it worked out for other people).
One other thing to consider is health: as a kid I was most of the times sick, nobody told me that doing sports might actually help me with this... than I joined a gym when I began working (I have a desk job so I considered this to be a good idea).
Turns out my health improved majorly... So I have more free time and I'm healthier as an adult than as I was a kid...
So what's left? PAYCHECK! You know when you wondered if your parents will ever buy that 60$ Lego for you? Well f*** that, you can grab the 200$ one now, and a GTX780 and a 60" plasma screen and... you get my point...
IF you try to be like all the other "adults" and don't like it than that's your fault. You should be yourself and happy with that. Just think of adulthood as more of a way to achieve your childhood dreams (or at least the achievable ones... I still dream of getting a Porsche 911 but that would probably take me some more time ). Honestly the only drawback is the summer vacation.
People tend to be focused to much on a pattern when they are adults... ooooh I need a house, a wife, a child bla bla.
A bloody list of things that you are "supposed" to do. Well guess what some people don't care about that list and as long as you can sustain yourself on the level that you wish nobody should tell you how to live your life and what responsibilities to take or not.
I see a lot of unhappy people that just grew up as their parents wanted instead of trying to figure stuff on their own.
Figuring out what you want or need is key to your own happiness. If you assume someone else's wishes don't be surprised when you won't be happy.

 

[CaitSeith]

I could throw these kind of questions at you all day but I won't waste more of your time. =P

It's kind of hilarious how you can get through 20+ years of education without anybody teaching you the very basics of cars, houses, bills, debt, and so on.

As far as I know, public schools in USA don't cover any of that (not even in colleges and universities). It isn't even funny. It's sad to see people not prepared with real world basics.

 

[Chris Moses]

Growing old does suck. Just wait until your body starts breaking down and you have to stop enjoying things for physical reasons and not because of responsibilities and societal pressure...

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

Also, never forget, kiddies, High School never stops. They tell you "high school ends, you will never see these people again, it will all be over soon." LIES! It just becomes the workplace. It doesn't matter how old your co-workers are either. Don't believe me? Watch how mature someone is when their schedule gets changed or when someone else leaves their workstation a mess. The popularity contest never ends and no one wins forever. Gossip never stops. Sometimes, all it takes is a missing stapler to make you the Satan or Wherever Co. It's all petty. It never gets better. Maturity is when you stop saying "it's not fair" and you start saying "I will survive".

The difference is that when you're young, your viewpoint usually tends to rest on High School being more important than the homelife, where as an adult you (hopefully) learn to separate work stress from the rest of your life. Sure one can dread going into work but one can also realize those people don't have to exist when you clock out and go home.
Also not every job has those adults that never got over high school, I've worked in a lot of places where that doesn't happen but its kind of a luck o' the draw situation. Usually the smaller a company is, the better the workforce tends to be (and its also highly dependent on how management deals with childish people, and if management itself is childish).
It does get better but you have to keep looking and not give up. Adults can be petty, but there's a lot of more mature ones out there too.
Maturity honestly is realizing that not everyone will fit your experiences, and while there's nothing new under the sun, you aren't the sun and haven't experienced it all quite yet (and probably never will). Maturity is patience an perseverance.