Biggest Douche in fiction.

[Evil Alpaca]

I'm gonna have to agree that Joffrey takes that award.

He is the perfect literary example of absolute power corrupting absolute.

I highly recommend watching season 2 of game of thrones to see this. I'm sure the actor is a nice guy, but if I were him, I would really be worried about random people punching me in the face given how well he pulls it off.

Spoiler: Major Spoiler for Book 3

His death was one of the few times reading a book has caused me to shout for joy

 

[timelordrick]

Captain Hammer. He only dated a girl to use her for sex and to make his enemy feel terrible about himself. Such a Douche

 

[timelordrick]

double post sorry

 

[lord canti]

Porky from mother 3. If you play the game you know why.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Fenton Mulley. I hate that guy.

QFT. A bigger wanker would be difficult to find.

My first thought was Bonzo Madrid from Ender's Game. For those unfamiliar with the book, change that. Like, now. But to sum up Bonzo as spoiler-free as possible, this is basically his thought process:

"You're better than me. People like you more than me. You could potentially save our species from complete and utter destruction and I can't. So I'm going to kill you."

Although, after reading through the thread...yeah, Joffrey Baratheon. He transcends the wanker spectrum to the fabled meta-****.

 

[Aris Khandr]

Gordon freeman. I mean people keep talking to him, they give him cool weapons like a gravity gun and he just doesn't give a shit.

Ignoring that you missed the obvious answer (Joffery Baratheon), I just have to say that I love your avatar.

That said, JOFFERY BARATHEON! My gods, that child is annoying. Everyone in that series is kind of a jackass, but he makes them all likable just by not being him.

 

[Quantum Star]

Shinji Mutou from Fate/Stay Night. Even the tiniest movement from him reeks of the foulest douche-baggery to ever pollute the earth.

 

[Daveman]

Zaphod Beeblebrox. The guy is a mahusive douchnozzle.

 

[Supertegwyn]

Fucking Kai Leng that piece of shit appears out of the fucking blue murders Thane and then cheats when you're about to kill him in a mission which pretty much dooms the galaxy.He's so unbelievably shit yet he also beats you I can't stand that bastard.

Spoilers please!

Not everybody has played ME3

OT: Probably the bastard in GoT (do I even need to say his name at this point?), maybe Evil Cole.

 

[Smeatza]

What's with all the hate for Dante?
Methinks jealousy, haters don't like winners.

And Erebus is a douche, such a douche.

 

[Fidelias]

I think the guys name was... Reaver? From Fable 3.

You know, the guy who represents evil.

Reaver: "I think we should burn all the women and children and use their ashes as a source of fuel for my death laser." *smiles*

King: "Can someone explain why this asshole is still alive? He's a murderer, and very obviously evil. Why exactly is he talking right now?!"

Advisor: "We thought that you might be too stupid to understand the difference between right and wrong. So we gave you someone you absolutely KNOW is evil to present you with the evil options! It's PERFECT!"

*Random drunk number 5,273 pukes on the royal court's floor*

King: God damn I hate you guys...

 

[brunothepig]

I'd say Joffrey Baratheon, but... well...

Spoiler: if you plan on reading through A Song of Ice and Fire, or even following the HBO series until they stop making it, don't click this. Big spoilers for A Storm of Swords, which will be season 3 of the HBO series

He was just a pawn for his mother's ambitions, raised (I'm convinced quite intentionally) to be her pawn on the throne (until Petyr had him poisoned... by an unwitting Sansa). The kid was a douche, alright... but his mother is still the most evil yet believable ***** in any fiction I've ever seen.

Spoiler free version: Cersei Lannister is the most evil yet believable ***** in any fiction I've ever seen. The nomenclature is different, but I think her actions qualify is douchebaggery.

I was thinking the same thing but it doesn't lessen Joffery's douchebaggery.

Spoiler

Even Cersei was going to spare Ned Stark, admittedly because she isn't a total spoiled retard, not for any moral reason. But still, if Joffery didn't kill Ned then things would likely have been far less depressing.

So it's a difficult decision, but having read the books I gotta say Cersei really is a really, really massive ****.

 

[Kungfu_Teddybear]

there was a thread here that said this women

was a douche because she cant do shit and always threatens you that she could kill you anytime, everytime shes hanging around with you.

i could not believe it and re installed skyrim and i must say.

the dude is right!

she is obnoxious and inconsistent.

you are our only hope but i could totally kill you right now.
you are lucky i just had my nails done or else.
watch your back. bla bla bla bla.

i cant even properly kill her. and this leads us to:

every goddamn kid in skyrim. every. fucking. time. i walk. past them.

The thing I found most annoying about Delphine and also Esbern is that late in the game

Spoiler: Do not click if you have not completed the main quest unless you don't care

Her and Esbern flat out tell you that they will stop aiding you unless you kill Paarthurnax. The Blades are sworn to serve the Dragonborn, you tell them what to do not the fucking other way around.

OT: Joffrey Baratheon, not only is his character a major douche but even the actor who plays him looks like a major douche.

 

[Redryhno]

Superman, ruining the world and apologizing since circa 1932... Joffrey may make girls beat each other and claim to be king, but this guy names himself king of the world at least once a year, then dies and is reborn into a different timeline where everyone loves him again.

 

[MintberryCrunch]

HAHA I REMEMBER THAT GUY!

Then you will understand the reason as to why I can never go in to Bowerstone Quay ever again.

 

[zefiris]

Bernkastel from Umineko.

She ruins a girls life with a minor plot (like, utterly ruin: She causes that the girl's parent figure despises her utterly, ruining both parent and child's live, the parent ending up dying in bitterness), which results in someone being turned to mincemeat alive.

She also feeds people to cats, likes drawing out guts, and absolutely loves revealing ugly truths to the world for all to see.

She's so douchy, she makes people mentioned in this threads look like nice people.

 

[MiriaJiyuu]

Since you guys already put just about everyone I would've put on this list already, I'm gonna add Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

Kratos. The guy has no redeemable qualities whatsoever. He goes way beyond revenge to just being a surly dick.

 

[Gatx]

Dante is a pretty big douche

Vergil is much more awesome.

Yeah, Dante is a smug prick. Especially in 4.
I know many game protagonists smarm one-liners to themselves, but for some reason Dante gets on my nerves specially.

You think he's bad now?!

Spoiler

*softly weeps*

I had been starting to lean towards the "give it a chance" camp in regards to the game, but wow. Being a cocky asshole (which can be loveable in some ways) is one thing but that is just...

 

[PsychicTaco115]

I dunno about fiction, but in reality? John Wayne Gacy. Dude was a fucked up pedo clown. That ate kids. Fiction needs to catch up to that guy

That leapfrogs "douchecanoe" and goes straight to "psychotic criminal".

OT: PsychicTaco115.

This amuses me

OT: I'd have to say Bigger from "Native Son." He kills two women, and we're supposed to feel bad about the racist circumstances of the courts? I'm sorry, but the man still KILLED.

*Rabble rabble rabble!*