Bisexuality doesn't exist
- Thread starter holy_secret
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What he said.Vegosiux said:
Also, do you find genitalia attractive?
I don't, but I find big eyes attractive, among many other irrelevant things, and I've seen big eyes I like on both men and women.
For me, and I think for everyone else, it is a combination of such attributes, round hips, big boobs etc, alongside personality, be it sexy or shy etc, that combine to make an individual attractive or otherwise.
Penises and vaginas very rarely factor into this. Therefore, gender is not that important.
I think Freud's view of innate bisexuality has a lot of merit. Many shift to monosexuality because of their upbringing (I was fairly certain I was straight when being raised in a Catholic household. It wasn't till I got to college and started being accepted for who I am that I realized I was attracted to girls as well) and psychological development. However, the APA's view of the fluidity of sexuality has a lot of facts behind it as well. Maybe they're both true. Maybe I was born bi, flowed straight, then flowed back to bi. Who knows?
OP: Are you sexually attracted to both boys and girls? Then you're bisexual. Simple as that. People who tell you that you have to be one or the other don't have an accurate understanding of human sexuality. It's the same with people who say you're "in denial." In fact, they may be in denial themselves. Be who you are. Screw those who don't get it. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but you've got support from this girl, at least.
OP: Are you sexually attracted to both boys and girls? Then you're bisexual. Simple as that. People who tell you that you have to be one or the other don't have an accurate understanding of human sexuality. It's the same with people who say you're "in denial." In fact, they may be in denial themselves. Be who you are. Screw those who don't get it. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but you've got support from this girl, at least.
Sexuality is almost always shades of grey, and this is coming from someone who identifies as straight. There are those who pretend for attention sure, but personally people who pretend to be asexual because they suck at relationships bother me more. There are plenty of real bisexuals out there.
Sexuality just doesn't work in a way that always 100% one or the other. That makes no sense at all. Firstly theres both emotional and physical attraction, emotional attraction is essentially genderless and your physical attraction ties it into one gender, but these bindings arent solid, they can be broken. Unless your attraction is always entirely shallowly physical its silly to say that you could never in a million years get with someone of the same sex. Even if we're just focusing on physical looks though, people of one gender can look like the opposite gender to what they are. I've seen men that look pretty, and women that look handsome. and thats not even taking into account trans people.
Personally, I believe most of us have a gender that the vast majority of our attraction is aimed towards, to the point where either we don't see the possibilities of a relationship with the same sex, or we see it but they are nowhere near strong enough to act upon. So we pick the label closest to what we are, straight or gay. Bisexuals simply have prominent attractions for both genders so they are somewhere in the middle of that scale.
To strenghten my point, I have never met a bisexual who i've discussed it with and they have had total 50/50 attraction to both genders. Usually it seems to be 40/60 or sometimes goes as far as 10/90. Another way of seeing how sexuality just doesn't work in black and white.
Sexuality just doesn't work in a way that always 100% one or the other. That makes no sense at all. Firstly theres both emotional and physical attraction, emotional attraction is essentially genderless and your physical attraction ties it into one gender, but these bindings arent solid, they can be broken. Unless your attraction is always entirely shallowly physical its silly to say that you could never in a million years get with someone of the same sex. Even if we're just focusing on physical looks though, people of one gender can look like the opposite gender to what they are. I've seen men that look pretty, and women that look handsome. and thats not even taking into account trans people.
Personally, I believe most of us have a gender that the vast majority of our attraction is aimed towards, to the point where either we don't see the possibilities of a relationship with the same sex, or we see it but they are nowhere near strong enough to act upon. So we pick the label closest to what we are, straight or gay. Bisexuals simply have prominent attractions for both genders so they are somewhere in the middle of that scale.
To strenghten my point, I have never met a bisexual who i've discussed it with and they have had total 50/50 attraction to both genders. Usually it seems to be 40/60 or sometimes goes as far as 10/90. Another way of seeing how sexuality just doesn't work in black and white.
So... I'm just tricking myself into liking vaginas? Or maybe I don't really like penises, but rather I just love bananas so much that it spills over into anything shaped like them?
I admit to thinking it would be strange to be in a relationship with a man, but that's just because I've never been in one before and the vast majority of "love" I see in life and the media is heterosexual. So it's only natural it would seem strange to me.
I admit to thinking it would be strange to be in a relationship with a man, but that's just because I've never been in one before and the vast majority of "love" I see in life and the media is heterosexual. So it's only natural it would seem strange to me.
That's the thing. If you are willing to kiss a guy, regardless of your attraction to women, you're a little gay.Grabbin Keelz said:
I think it's perfectly natural for someone to be attracted to both genders but as a heterosexual, it still seems gay. And so what if it is.
I think Andrew Dice Clay (of all people) said the most profound thing on the subject:
"you either suck dick, or you do not suck dick."
I can't explain why I'm only attracted to women, so I don't expect other people to explain why they are only attracted to men, or only women, or both.
I find it really weird when someone gets really distraught or haughty over someone else's sexuality. Yes, I'm attracted to men, yes I'm attracted to women. And yes, I'm attracted to transgendered people too - but why should YOU care?
It completly boggles me why someone should have to feel the need to pass judgement or be confrontaional on something that really shouldn't effect them.
It completly boggles me why someone should have to feel the need to pass judgement or be confrontaional on something that really shouldn't effect them.
Most people want to be able to settle down into a relationship, and I'm guessing your talking to people you know who are probably interested in you, or at least potentially so. Bi-sexuality is hard to deal with because it means one person is not going to be able to satisfy a bi-sexuals needs, no matter what they are always going to want to be with the gender opposite the person they are with at least occasionally. Unlike the media, three-way relationships are very, very hard to make work, if not impossible.holy_secret said:
So basically I think a lot of people just want you to settle on a single gender for their own reasons, even if they aren't liable to articulate it.
If you look at some of the rumors going around about Demi Moore's recent breakup, that pretty much points to the problem if they are true. Her husband couldn't deal with her needing to have sex with other girls periodically to be happy. As much as an "open relationship" seems like it could work on paper, it rarely functions that way in reality.
Fixed!Not G. Ivingname said:D:Jack and Calumon said:
Your not bisexual!
YOU NEED TO REFIND JESUS! DX
REPENT AND MAY THE MAN IN THE SKY HAVE MERCY ON YOURSOULinvisible but totally existent body part which is the seat of humanity and selfhood!
OT: Oh god have I offended so many people
Me and my boyfriend are ace with libido and bi respectively. We have a fairly open relationship, and we're experiencing a combination of failed attempts at getting extra partners and a loss of taste for most anyone else. I doubt our sexuality is going to cause us any relationship strain any time soon, because at least concerning that, we're very open and honest concerning our feelings. Yeah he gets the craving for another man's company sometimes, but he's not in a position to have any because there aren't currently guys in our group of friends who are interested in him in that way. Yeah, sometimes I want to snuggle up with another chick, but the same deal is happening with me. I guess we could look harder for other partners, but we're both lazy as fuck and wary about trying to explain to someone new that we're "in an open relationship and looking for casual sex."Therumancer said:
He would certainly be more comfortable explaining it than me, but the kicker is he is a misanthrope in addition to being incredibly charming and persuasive.
It is what you think of it that matters methinks. I can't understand the attraction to men because I don't feel anything in that way when I'm around attractive men. Just because I don't understand doesn't mean I will condemnarc1991 said:Being Bisexual myself i can easily say it isn't bullshit xD
It really doesn't matter what people think, i get it a lot to, some people just don't understand
[sub]I understand the attraction to girls very easily XD[/sub]
as a strait male i have to say that being bi isn't bullshit and you can have sexual feelings for both genders hell, im a chef and i work in an industry where there is every sexual orient ever conceived, its your call in the end bro, i hope you make yourself happy with your conclusion
Your telling me you wouldn't go gay for any male celeb?Redlin5 said:It is what you think of it that matters methinks. I can't understand the attraction to men because I don't feel anything in that way when I'm around attractive men. Just because I don't understand doesn't mean I will condemnarc1991 said:Being Bisexual myself i can easily say it isn't bullshit xD
It really doesn't matter what people think, i get it a lot to, some people just don't understand
[sub]I understand the attraction to girls very easily XD[/sub]
Cause it doesn't matter, straight or not, there is always one! xD
Then I haven't found that piece of mancandy yet.arc1991 said:Your telling me you wouldn't go gay for any male celeb?Redlin5 said:It is what you think of it that matters methinks. I can't understand the attraction to men because I don't feel anything in that way when I'm around attractive men. Just because I don't understand doesn't mean I will condemnarc1991 said:Being Bisexual myself i can easily say it isn't bullshit xD
It really doesn't matter what people think, i get it a lot to, some people just don't understand
[sub]I understand the attraction to girls very easily XD[/sub]
Cause it doesn't matter, straight or not, there is always one! xD