holy_secret said:
The same works the other way around. Except this time, the heterosexuals say that "maybe you were just experimenting with homosexuality" and the homosexuals say that "you are in denial bladibibla".
While I agree with that being bullshit, maybe I can explain at least the female homosexual view on this. Please understand that I am speaking in general and not about my specific views, but views that I have heard told to me in some cases combined with my own personal experiences.
Straight women ruin it for bisexual women. I will tell you why: Straight men find two women kissing hot. So straight women will sometimes 'fake it' to impress guys at the bar. They are also quite likely to go home with you one night and tell you they were just 'experimenting' the next day.
Straight men on the other hand(generally the same ones who like to watch the girls kissing in the first place), have a tendency to not take gay relationships seriously and are most commonly of the two sexes(in my experience) to be brutally homophobic(It's sexy when a straight girl does it, but a girl who doesn't sleep with men? That's just a crime against nature.). Probably because they are used to straight women for whom being gay is just another way to attract a straight partner. No one wants to date someone who is likely to bring another person into it, especially one who doesn't see you as a real person in the first place and perhaps actively hates you for existing.
I'm sure both sexes have this problem, but I don't know a single gay women who has dated a bisexual woman who at some point wasn't faced with them asking to sleep with men(i said I don't
know one, not that they don't exist). This is disgusting in my opinion, those are the bisexuals who contribute to ruining it. If you make a commitment, you make a commitment in my eyes, period, full stop. Some people have a hard time believing that bisexual people can be monogamous with either sex though, for this reason.
After all straight people are straight all the time, gay people are gay all the time, but if a bisexual person has a three year relationship with either sex, they're bisexuality becomes invisible. I can see this being an issue for some who may want to continue with both so as not to 'lose' themselves. Its a long story, but invisibility is a big deal to some. 'Lipstick' lesbians have this problem, so do straight-acting or butchy gay guys. I'm a bit of a butch dyke myself so I don't have personal experience with this. Everyone knows I'm gay when I walk down the street, but personal identity is a big deal. Ask an albino black person.
No one likes to be somebodies experiment, or find themselves in a situation where someone they are dating is telling them they won't be happy unless they let them fuck strangers who probably hate them, so a lot of gay women refuse to date bisexual women or have anything to do with women who date men.
If all of your experiences with bisexuals are straight people trying to attract other straight people by using you as a 'lure', you tend to refuse to want to date this type and not take anyone seriously who tells you they are bisexual.
For the record, I don't know anyone who doesn't think bisexuality exists, just that you have to sift through so much 'fake' bullshit to get to a real upstanding one, that they might as well be leprechauns. If only one in 100 people who tell you they are bisexual are actually truthful, you will start to assume everyone who tells you they are bi is full of it.
Hell, 10% of the population is apparently gay, but you still have pretty much everyone everywhere assuming people are straight first and asking questions later.
Bah, this will be an interesting conversation! I will check back later, but I have to cut to go to a meeting. BOO!
