Bisexuals: The Outcasts of Outcasts.

[jboking]

I attended a few GSA(Gay Straight Alliance) and LGBT(Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual) meetings over the years, and I've observed one truly baffling thing: Bisexuals seem to be complete outsiders. Often times they are looked down upon or treated poorly by other members of these groups (or, simply, by the gay community in general). They are told that they "Are actually just gay/straight" or "Are just bi for the attention"(one of the worst stereotypes in the bunch). I can understand some of the criticisms homosexual members give about bisexuals who are currently dating someone of the opposite sex. Those bisexuals are viewed by most as straight and get the benefit of not having to deal with the horseshit that homosexual couples get. However, when bisexuals are in this situation, they can (and often do) identify themselves to strangers as bisexuals. If they do so, they will get shunned by a lot of the straight community and they will be shunned or looked down upon by a large amount of the gay community. It seems that, for those groups, there isn't a safe place unless they want to lie about who they are to either community, which seems contrary to acknowledging their bisexuality.

How do my fellow escapists feel about this issue? If you are gay, how do you feel about bisexuals who date straight? Personally, I feel it is a bit hypocritical for homosexual community to grow into bigots against bisexuals, when they themselves know what it is like to have to deal with bigots on a regular basis.

Side note: It reminds me of a scene from Maus II where Vladek, a holocaust survivor, displays blatant racism against a black character. It just seems wrong.

 

[Doitpow]

snippedy

I see this behaviour quite a bit at university, where there are several groups for people to discuss/share/politicize about sexuality issues. Nine times of of ten it is innocuous but it can get quite nasty. In my opinion it is always wrong to exclude people from these groups, but it often helps if you are utterly explicit about the purpose of every meeting.

Discussing gay rights seems fine with any audience, including straight.
Discussing experiences of male on female rape is often utterly inappropriate with men present, and sometimes straight-dating bisexuals.

 

[jboking]

I see this behaviour quite a bit at university, where there are several groups for people to discuss/share/politicize about sexuality issues. Nine times of of ten it is innocuous but it can get quite nasty. In my opinion it is always wrong to exclude people from these groups, but it often helps if you are utterly explicit about the purpose of every meeting.

Discussing gay rights seems fine with any audience, including straight.
Discussing experiences of male on female rape is often utterly inappropriate with men present, and sometimes straight-dating bisexuals.

I will say that at most of the meetings, the discussion is very benign and is more of a "here here!" festival. But I've witnessed discussions about male on female rape and I've seen it explode into a fist fight. I feel that those discussions are too emotionally invested. not that it is bad to be invested in your speech, just that it does have a whole cavalcade of potential problems.


side note: It doesn't seem their is much interest in my topic, but at least I got to write it down so I could examine it myself more

 

[jboking]

It just goes to show there are stupid fucks in communities that are usually hated on by stupid fucks too.

I could understand if it was just a few stupid fucks that stereotyped and treated bisexuals poorly, but it is a pretty prevalent issue. When it is not explicitly stated that straight-dating bisexuals aren't welcome, it is implied heavily. I find that to be among the worst, most hypocritical things I've ever seen.

 

[JoJo]

I think the truth is that every single of one of us is prejudiced against something or some group of people for unjustifiable reasons, even those of us who are already part of an "outcast" minority. Maybe you automatically assume anyone who believes XXX is idiot, maybe you think that anyone who claims to be YYY is faking it, maybe you just feel that ZZZ is wrong in your gut, even if there's no logical reason why. It's human nature to make judgements without all the full facts, a necessary evil as such so we don't spend our entire lives making one decision.

 

[Crosshead]

People in minorities are people just like the rest of us. That is to say, that a lot of them will be closed minded petty bigots. The fact that they may have been on the receiving end of bigotry won't stop them handing it out.
I've heard this before about bisexual treatment from LGBT groups, and I really don't get it. An article I read suggested that it was because bisexuals "get all the advantages and a lot less hassle" then gay people, and that makes them easy to resent. Either that or they're seen as "fencesitters", which is even more ridiculous. Perhaps it is that bisexual people find it so easy to "play it straight" that the LGBT groups feel that they don't have enough invested in the LGBT community.
It's probably for a mix of these reasons and others, but it doesn't stop it being every bit as pathetic as gay-bashing or referring to straight people as "breeders".

 

[jboking]

It's human nature to make judgements without all the full facts, a necessary evil as such so we don't spend our entire lives making one decision.

But having been the victim of people not making judgements on the complete facts, shouldn't the gay community be more sensitive to this issue? At the least, shouldn't they know to contain themselves and consider things from the others perspective?

It just burns of ignorance.

 

[jboking]

It's probably for a mix of these reasons and others, but it doesn't stop it being every bit as pathetic as gay-bashing or referring to straight people as "breeders".

Which is exactly my problem. I just hate that contradiction. Also, I've never enjoyed the term "breeders" as a reference for straight people. I know plenty of homosexual couples that have gotten surrogates/artificial insemination. Wouldn't that make them breeders as well?

Edit: I really wish there was someone in here that agrees with/could better defend the treatment of bisexuals in gay communities. I really want to better understand that side of this issue more.

 

[Qitz]

It probably has a lot to do with the whole "Bisexual only in college" cliche that's so prevalent. Many people just see it as a passing fad, and for some it is, as well as the whole social joke that it's just the wild college years.

The same isn't as prevalent for being Gay. The most they get is the whole limp-wrist, lisp talking and being a fashion diva / drama queen. No one really questions how "devoted" they are to their sexuality but it's common place for Bisexuals. 'Course, it doesn't help that there are reality tv "stars" who play that angle as well.

Also that there isn't a lot of known adult bisexuals (at least that I know of,) there are for gays and straights so the whole "It's just a faze" thing carries more justification to them.

 

[jboking]

It probably has a lot to do with the whole "Bisexual only in college" cliche that's so prevalent. Many people just see it as a passing fad, and for some it is, as well as the whole social joke that it's just the wild college years.

It is such a damaging stereotype for those people who are legitimately bisexual. It's like those parents who view their high school students homosexuality as a 'phase'. That kind of thinking has lead to suicides before, and I'd hope we would understand that it is something we have to get away from.

The same isn't as prevalent for being Gay. The most they get is the whole limp-wrist, lisp talking and being a fashion diva / drama queen. No one really questions how "devoted" they are to their sexuality but it's common place for Bisexuals. 'Course, it doesn't help that there are reality tv "stars" who play that angle as well.

I think the reality tv 'stars' argument helps really define the issue better. While I'm sure there are some that are legitimately bisexual out there, those that are playing it up seriously hurt the bisexual community.

Thanks for the input!

 

[Nimcha]

I've observed this too. I've also observed some bisexual people being obnoxious with their claims that everybody is 'a little bisexual'.

In short: people can be close-minded whatever their sexuality.

 

[JoJo]

It's human nature to make judgements without all the full facts, a necessary evil as such so we don't spend our entire lives making one decision.

But having been the victim of people not making judgements on the complete facts, shouldn't the gay community be more sensitive to this issue? At the least, shouldn't they know to contain themselves and consider things from the others perspective?

It just burns of ignorance.

That's what you'd think but sadly historically that hasn't happened. Other examples include the Christian Church, oppressed on the pain of death at first in Rome but when it eventually got on top and became the state religion, did they decide to live and let live? Nope, burn the heretic! Also see the rampant homophobia in Jamaica.

 

[latiasracer]

The way i see it, isn't everyone one?

I Mean, ive no idea who im going to fall in love with. Nobody does. Nobody can (Unless you can travel into the future!)
I know for a fact right now i love the ladies, but who knows what the future will hold.

OT: I Agree with the OP. It's a bit hypocritical to be doing that.

 

[jboking]

The way i see it, isn't everyone one?

I Mean, ive no idea who im going to fall in love with. Nobody does. Nobody can (Unless you can travel into the future!)
I know for a fact right now i love the ladies, but who knows what the future will hold.

OT: I Agree with the OP. It's a bit hypocritical to be doing that.

You. Observe:

I've observed this too. I've also observed some bisexual people being obnoxious with their claims that everybody is 'a little bisexual'.

In short: people can be close-minded whatever their sexuality.

I can understand that the claim that everyone is 'a little bisexual' might get grating at a certain point, but is it really all that wrong? The Kinsey scale insists that very few people are perfectly straight or gay. On the other hand, it is possible to simply have zero attraction to one sex.

 

[him over there]

I think it probably stems a belief that there is no such thing as bisexuality, making them either posers that say they're part of a minority for attention but capable of having heterosexual relationships to be "normal" and avoid discrimination. Essentially other LGBT lifestyles, a group that is a minority that is often discriminated against so they're sceptical of people who're like "We're totally a part of the LGBT community but we can choose to lead a heterosexual lifestyle so why does it matter?"

Of course this is just theory based on what I've observed. So I really wouldn't be sure.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I've heard about this kind of thing, but haven't seen it in practice so I can't really comment. Sad to hear nonetheless, as a closeted bisexual it makes me worry about the kinda shit I'll run into. >.>