Break-up question

[Tiroe]

So this is a bit of back-story, for those who are interested or bored enough, but feel free to skip to the questions at the end.

My best friend?s brother asked me out. I didn?t have any romantic feelings towards him, but I accepted, since I had never been in a serious relationship before and because I figured that I should give him a chance. So, about four months passed and I had slowly realized that I was never going to fall in love with him (our dates were absolutely boring, the ?making out? sessions were shallow and mechanical and we had very different tastes where it counted). On the other hand (I don?t know how), he somehow felt that we were meant to get married and live together for eternity or something like that. As a result, I broke up with him?via chat. I admit, that was cold of me and I felt kind of bad for him. But how he reacted made that feeling of guilt transform into the certainty that breaking up was the best decision I had made in my whole life.

I?ll explain: I wanted to apologize for the way I gave him ?the news?, but he acted like a jerk, which made me feel worse. And then, through chat, he outright told me that he couldn?t stop thinking about me, that he was crying and that he would kill himself. I felt kind of angry, but tried to cheer him up. This didn?t work, so I told his parents about his suicide threat and he reacted in a weird way. He has started stalking my sister at school and now, he has told me to stay away from his house, which, I remind you, is where my best friend lives. I don?t know whether he needs help or just needs to grow up, and I?m annoyed that I agreed to go out with this guy in the first place.

Now that I got that out of my system, I would like to ask, are all break-ups supposed to be bad? Have any of you just had a break-up where both people just went ?ok? and moved on?

 

[Yureina]

None of mine have been very dramatic at all. They basically have just kinda faded away into obscurity. No dramatic displays. Not even a real "It's over" sort of talk. Just a gradual parting of ways that simply happened. I guess I should be thankful that the only people I bothered to get together with were reasonable enough to figure out on their own that things were not going to turn out, and so nothing ever bad happened. I'm still friends with them, actually, though it is a bit awkward.

I guess that's a "yes" to your question.

 

[The_Healer]

Wow, that guy is a freak.
If someone started to stalk my sister i'd tear their arms off.

Mine personally have been pretty boring and tame.

 

[Soulgaunt]

That sounded....Horrible? I guess that must suck. I hope he calms down, I don't wanna hear another depressing story on the news.

 

[khaimera]

No they are not all bad. My first ex and I tried to be friends but after talking on the phone once she didn't return my second call and I got the hint. Then we never talked again. The breakup was for the best though.

I'm sorry to hear about how awful he is handling this. Yes he has issues and yes he does need to grow up. Plus what girl hasn't regretted dating someone, none I know.

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

Both of mine were pretty unemotional at the time.

My first just told me she was going back to her boyfriend prior to me, that she still 'loved' him. I told her I was there if she needed someone. He left her for a sixth grader(he was 7th grade, she and I were 8th grade)...

Other one was hardly a girlfriend. Only in name, were we a couple. She had begun to pursue someone else, and I told her we were through before she could tell me.

So, yeah... In both of my relationships, I was the one who had the most invested emotionally. I was hurt, yeah, but I got over it quickly enough.

 

[RouxBelle]

I've had something similar happen...minus the whole stalking my sister thing since i don't have a sister. My first bf was verbally and emotionally abusive. I finally decided to end it when he pushed me and called me a stupid *****. I broke up with him via AIM (this was about 4 years ago). He freaked out and tried to get all of our mutual friends to hate me, and he tried to start all of these rumors about me. Luckily, we worked it out though.

Sorry to hear this has happened to you, and I wish you the best.

 

[Sleekgiant]

All of mine have been felt with a feeling of meh, mostly because I didn't care for any of them.

I did have one girl stalk me for like a week though, creepy D:

 

[arsenicCatnip]

It all depends. I've run the gamut from "we haven't actually spoken in 3 months, I don't think we're dating anymore" to "he's screaming at me through the screen door and it looks like he's going to hit me, I'm getting the hell out of here" to "You're a creepy stalker, stay the hell away from me".

Breaking up sucks every time, but it sucks to different degrees.

 

[Tiroe]

I guess I shouldn't draw fast conclusions about break-ups being all bad (although it seems to be the case most of the time). But I do feel better with you guys sharing.

I've had something similar happen...minus the whole stalking my sister thing since i don't have a sister. My first bf was verbally and emotionally abusive. I finally decided to end it when he pushed me and called me a stupid *****. I broke up with him via AIM (this was about 4 years ago). He freaked out and tried to get all of our mutual friends to hate me, and he tried to start all of these rumors about me. Luckily, we worked it out though.

Sorry to hear this has happened to you, and I wish you the best.

Thank you! And I'm glad it worked out for you.

 

[child of lileth]

Have any of you just had a break-up where both people just went ?ok? and moved on?

I have. Most of the time it doesn't work that way (as far as my personal experience), but it's nice when both people in a relationship can be mature enough to understand it's not working out, and decide moving on is for the best.

 

[RouxBelle]

I guess I shouldn't draw fast conclusions about break-ups being all bad (although it seems to be the case most of the time). But I do feel better with you guys sharing.

I've had something similar happen...minus the whole stalking my sister thing since i don't have a sister. My first bf was verbally and emotionally abusive. I finally decided to end it when he pushed me and called me a stupid *****. I broke up with him via AIM (this was about 4 years ago). He freaked out and tried to get all of our mutual friends to hate me, and he tried to start all of these rumors about me. Luckily, we worked it out though.

Sorry to hear this has happened to you, and I wish you the best.

Thank you! And I'm glad it worked out for you.

NP. you'll have to let me know how it turns out! you'll be in my prayers =D

 

[thiosk]

Pro-tip: Almost every girl is "the one" to almost every teenage boy.

Hormones. Can't live with em, can't live without em. Dump him, move on, never EVER look back. Its the 21st century, dumping via electronica is par for the course.

 

[Halceon]

Now that I got that out of my system, I would like to ask, are all break-ups supposed to be bad? Have any of you just had a break-up where both people just went ?ok? and moved on?

Most of them. More precisely - whenever i'm left i move on. It sometimes pays off to be callous. I'm sure there are still a couple of girls out there seething with hatred at the mention of my name, but that is irrelephant.

 

[Enzeru92]

Not all break up are bad I still keep in touch with one my ex and we talk friendly to each other but then again I have an ex that bluntly lies to others that the reason we broke up was because I was crazy *sigh*
It all really depends on the person your dating when you get down to it.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

First Rule of breaking up, you don't talk about breaking up!
-Hugh, sorry. You always break up in person. Always!
-Yes, he needs to grow up and learn to move on. This may have been his first serious relationship and he may not know how to deal with his pain. He needs some closure, he didn't get when you broke up over Chat! Try talking to him, preferably with others around.

 

[Marter]

My one break up was pretty easy, as we didn't have a choice. She was moving provinces, so we just said our farewells to each other.

 

[Om Nom Nom]

Some break ups just won't go right, it happens. Though doing it face to face does help.
Avoid going out with someone you feel nothing for in future, though, as obvious as it probably sounds.

He has started stalking my sister at school and now, he has told me to stay away from his house, which, I remind you, is where my best friend lives.

You should really ask your parents for advice about that, if you haven't already. He may just be being childish, and you might just be a little paranoid (don't take that wrong, but it's well well within coincidence that you'd see him around at school), but don't leave it to chance.

If he starts following you/her around outside of school as well, though, something does need to be done. By either his parents or a teacher, talking to him yourself isn't a good idea in that case.

 

[Krion_Vark]

There are some people that go insane over relationships. Granted you probably should of done it face to face but he also probably shouldn't of asked you out in the first place seeing as how your his sister's best friend. If it gets any worse with the guy I would suggest calling the cops on him seeing as how hes stalking your sister.

Also isn't there an unwritten Brother Rule that states to not date your sister's friends unless its 100% mutual.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I was in a long distance thing a while back that ended surprisingly easily (for me) considering how much I cared about the person.

They went into some long thing about how they loved me but it was difficult and they needed to end it.

I think I responded with something along the lines of "k". I didn't respond that coldly, but when it came down to it, despite loving the person, I couldn't really care about "losing" someone who I never really got to see. I think they were a little sad at first, but got someone else really fast so it worked out easy for them to.