British Engineers Design Anti-Pirate Laser

[Evilsanta]

Non lethal?

And here i thought it was a ship cutting laser of doom.

Oh well...A laser is a laser.

 

[RA92]

And there I thought this was another stab at DRM through the development of a new optical drive... (Whew!)

Also, if your a damn fisherman, and start paddling up towards the deck of a huge ship while inside pirate infested waters, you deserve to be blown to hell. Your stupid might be contagious.

Wow. People being fired on by foreigners for fishing in their own national waters...? Sure, that's not gonna come back to bite you in the arse.

Also, if the world went by your rules, the excellent film 'Triangle' (the one with Melissa George) would've been cut rather short.

 

[2xDouble]

In an attempt to stave off piratical attacks, engineers in the UK have designed ships with fricken laser beams attached to their heads.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? Shouldn't the laser be attached to, you know, the front or side of the ship instead of mounted in the bathroom? (get it? nautical joke!)

 

[Mechsoap]

Wait? their trying to get hardy, brutal pirates by shooting a gigantic laser pointer at them?

 

[dsmops2003]

Why aren't shipping companies just using javelins? $75,000 is peanuts to them.

How cool would it be to see a tiny ship pull one of those bad boys out?

It would be very cool...

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Why aren't shipping companies just using javelins? $75,000 is peanuts to them.

Because you'd also have to train the crew to use them properly and deal with the occasional mishap inherent in their use.

Better solutions would be lighter armaments. A few medium machine guns, a handful of shotguns, rifles and other personal weapons and you'd have a boat that is better defended against a pirate attack and it would be cheaper to acquire and train the crew in their use.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

So let me get this straight... you're aiming a weapon at the pirates that can't stop them but will really piss them off? This seems like a bad combination of factors.

Well, it isn't the worst idea ever given one attempted hijacking was foiled by a Geriatric hurling deck chairs at them.

 

[SwagLordYoloson]

I hope this pirate repellent is as effective as mole rat repellent

 

[AWC Viper]

Invest in a Naval PMC...

 

[Thyunda]

Snip

Or they'll get close to a ship, receive a few warning shots, get pissed and sink the ship. You'd think with the war on terror going on, fewer people would want to become terrorists. In fact, with the promise of certain death, you'd think fewer people would strap themselves up and explode. You start hunting pirates, you give people a bigger reason to hunt you, quite simply. Because they won't see it as self-defence, they'll see it as militarisation and call it wrong.

And remember that the laser could quite easily deter more than one skiff at a time. It won't break their eyes, but it will certainly fuck with them. It will fuck with them enough to give the cargo boat a chance at gaining some distance.

And a tear-gas grenade launcher wouldn't hit anything. It'd just splash in the water. And that'll be it. Gas the fish. You bastard.

 

[Firehound]

Snip

Or they'll get close to a ship, receive a few warning shots, get pissed and sink the ship. You'd think with the war on terror going on, fewer people would want to become terrorists. In fact, with the promise of certain death, you'd think fewer people would strap themselves up and explode. You start hunting pirates, you give people a bigger reason to hunt you, quite simply. Because they won't see it as self-defence, they'll see it as militarisation and call it wrong.

And remember that the laser could quite easily deter more than one skiff at a time. It won't break their eyes, but it will certainly fuck with them. It will fuck with them enough to give the cargo boat a chance at gaining some distance.

And a tear-gas grenade launcher wouldn't hit anything. It'd just splash in the water. And that'll be it. Gas the fish. You bastard.

Except that lazers are directional weapons, and only affect a small area. I mean, if you have two or three skiffs in a tight Delta Formation, yes. If they have a slightly intelligent leader, which mosto fthem have, they won't come in all from the same side.

Also- their wasting thousands on a useless laser, they can't invest in researching attaching floaties to gas nades?

 

[Thyunda]

Snip

Or they'll get close to a ship, receive a few warning shots, get pissed and sink the ship. You'd think with the war on terror going on, fewer people would want to become terrorists. In fact, with the promise of certain death, you'd think fewer people would strap themselves up and explode. You start hunting pirates, you give people a bigger reason to hunt you, quite simply. Because they won't see it as self-defence, they'll see it as militarisation and call it wrong.

And remember that the laser could quite easily deter more than one skiff at a time. It won't break their eyes, but it will certainly fuck with them. It will fuck with them enough to give the cargo boat a chance at gaining some distance.

And a tear-gas grenade launcher wouldn't hit anything. It'd just splash in the water. And that'll be it. Gas the fish. You bastard.

Except that lazers are directional weapons, and only affect a small area. I mean, if you have two or three skiffs in a tight Delta Formation, yes. If they have a slightly intelligent leader, which mosto fthem have, they won't come in all from the same side.

Also- their wasting thousands on a useless laser, they can't invest in researching attaching floaties to gas nades?

The laser would be easy to turn and face other skiffs. Piloting a boat isn't as easy as it looks, particularly in the wake of a much larger boat. Shine the laser into the eyes of one skiff, it'll peel off, or risk colliding with the cargo ship, or hitting a bad wave and capsizing. While it peels off, you can turn the laser to the other skiff. Eventually, they'll work out they're not getting anywhere, and go off and harass somebody else. Whereas, if you start shooting gas grenades into skiffs, even on the off-chance it'll hit, what stops them wearing gas masks? And just looking at the colour of the laser won't help them tell what colour goggles would help. So far, I only know of clear goggles and snow goggles. Never seen any coloured ones.

And the laser doesn't have an immediate dissipation. Look straight at the Sun. For a short time, you won't see much of anything else at all. No damage, it just fucks with your eyes. That's what the laser is designed to do. It's a deterrent, not a weapon.

 

[Firehound]

Snip

Or they'll get close to a ship, receive a few warning shots, get pissed and sink the ship. You'd think with the war on terror going on, fewer people would want to become terrorists. In fact, with the promise of certain death, you'd think fewer people would strap themselves up and explode. You start hunting pirates, you give people a bigger reason to hunt you, quite simply. Because they won't see it as self-defence, they'll see it as militarisation and call it wrong.

And remember that the laser could quite easily deter more than one skiff at a time. It won't break their eyes, but it will certainly fuck with them. It will fuck with them enough to give the cargo boat a chance at gaining some distance.

And a tear-gas grenade launcher wouldn't hit anything. It'd just splash in the water. And that'll be it. Gas the fish. You bastard.

Except that lazers are directional weapons, and only affect a small area. I mean, if you have two or three skiffs in a tight Delta Formation, yes. If they have a slightly intelligent leader, which mosto fthem have, they won't come in all from the same side.

Also- their wasting thousands on a useless laser, they can't invest in researching attaching floaties to gas nades?

The laser would be easy to turn and face other skiffs. Piloting a boat isn't as easy as it looks, particularly in the wake of a much larger boat. Shine the laser into the eyes of one skiff, it'll peel off, or risk colliding with the cargo ship, or hitting a bad wave and capsizing. While it peels off, you can turn the laser to the other skiff. Eventually, they'll work out they're not getting anywhere, and go off and harass somebody else. Whereas, if you start shooting gas grenades into skiffs, even on the off-chance it'll hit, what stops them wearing gas masks? And just looking at the colour of the laser won't help them tell what colour goggles would help. So far, I only know of clear goggles and snow goggles. Never seen any coloured ones.

And the laser doesn't have an immediate dissipation. Look straight at the Sun. For a short That's what the laser is designed to do. It's a deterrent, not a weapon.

And gas is a bigger detterent then you are assuming. Chemical weapons, even 'nice' ones like tear gas, require you to have a mask over your entire face, which if you get gassed before you have it on is worthless. In addition, these masks are incredibly uncomfortable, especially the cheap models a pirate baron is most likely to buy. And your eyes do adapt pretty quick, unless they are going to be flickering the laser on and off while doing this, I assume so, and even then, pretty quickly they'll just move back in, faster then the laser can be maneuvered, and once within a certain range, it'll be completely useless, since it won't be able to hit the ships.

Not to mention the psychological effects of being involved with a gas attack. Imagine your a pirate, and you and your closest buddies are wearing gas masks as you approach a ship. Suddenly, something hits your ship with a thud, and you see the canister. Your buddy reaches for the canister- then starts coughing, his mask was put on incorrectly! eyes welling with tears as he coughs and sputters, your other buddy starts to cough and sputter too, and the thought crosses your mind that you might not of done it well, and then you start feeling short of breath.

The gas only need hit one man to panic the others into suffering the same effects, hell, fake chemical warfare drills that cought soldiers by surprise has almost killed people from the resulting panic.

The only way the laser weapon is even useful is if there are multiple of it on the ship, whereas the Teargas nade launcher will screw with most people a lot more then a short blinding that isn't much more then a laser pointer in someone's eye, and their need be fewer cheap systems as opposed to the expensive cost of the laser.

 

[Dogstile]

It takes examples to make deterrents. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the terribly devastating examples to the devastation of Nuclear warfare.

Russia apparently has a very unorthodox method of countering abduction of their nationals: go on a killing spree. That is to hunt down anyone with the most tangential links the the kidnappers and kill them horribly, it forces the Terrorists to come to the negotiating table as their confederates, friends and even family are picked off. Israel also did much the same in retrograde with avenging the Munich massacre, it forces only the suicidal to attempt terrorist action and contrary to what the prevalence of suicide bombers suggest, only a minority are willing to give up their lives (and even then only after much "grooming" and manipulation).

Yep, that's the answer. "Hey, your brothers a terrorist, therefore you should die! -BANG-"

 

[Thyunda]

Snip

Or they'll get close to a ship, receive a few warning shots, get pissed and sink the ship. You'd think with the war on terror going on, fewer people would want to become terrorists. In fact, with the promise of certain death, you'd think fewer people would strap themselves up and explode. You start hunting pirates, you give people a bigger reason to hunt you, quite simply. Because they won't see it as self-defence, they'll see it as militarisation and call it wrong.

And remember that the laser could quite easily deter more than one skiff at a time. It won't break their eyes, but it will certainly fuck with them. It will fuck with them enough to give the cargo boat a chance at gaining some distance.

And a tear-gas grenade launcher wouldn't hit anything. It'd just splash in the water. And that'll be it. Gas the fish. You bastard.

Except that lazers are directional weapons, and only affect a small area. I mean, if you have two or three skiffs in a tight Delta Formation, yes. If they have a slightly intelligent leader, which mosto fthem have, they won't come in all from the same side.

Also- their wasting thousands on a useless laser, they can't invest in researching attaching floaties to gas nades?

The laser would be easy to turn and face other skiffs. Piloting a boat isn't as easy as it looks, particularly in the wake of a much larger boat. Shine the laser into the eyes of one skiff, it'll peel off, or risk colliding with the cargo ship, or hitting a bad wave and capsizing. While it peels off, you can turn the laser to the other skiff. Eventually, they'll work out they're not getting anywhere, and go off and harass somebody else. Whereas, if you start shooting gas grenades into skiffs, even on the off-chance it'll hit, what stops them wearing gas masks? And just looking at the colour of the laser won't help them tell what colour goggles would help. So far, I only know of clear goggles and snow goggles. Never seen any coloured ones.

And the laser doesn't have an immediate dissipation. Look straight at the Sun. For a short That's what the laser is designed to do. It's a deterrent, not a weapon.

And gas is a bigger detterent then you are assuming. Chemical weapons, even 'nice' ones like tear gas, require you to have a mask over your entire face, which if you get gassed before you have it on is worthless. In addition, these masks are incredibly uncomfortable, especially the cheap models a pirate baron is most likely to buy. And your eyes do adapt pretty quick, unless they are going to be flickering the laser on and off while doing this, I assume so, and even then, pretty quickly they'll just move back in, faster then the laser can be maneuvered, and once within a certain range, it'll be completely useless, since it won't be able to hit the ships.

Not to mention the psychological effects of being involved with a gas attack. Imagine your a pirate, and you and your closest buddies are wearing gas masks as you approach a ship. Suddenly, something hits your ship with a thud, and you see the canister. Your buddy reaches for the canister- then starts coughing, his mask was put on incorrectly! eyes welling with tears as he coughs and sputters, your other buddy starts to cough and sputter too, and the thought crosses your mind that you might not of done it well, and then you start feeling short of breath.

The gas only need hit one man to panic the others into suffering the same effects, hell, fake chemical warfare drills that cought soldiers by surprise has almost killed people from the resulting panic.

The only way the laser weapon is even useful is if there are multiple of it on the ship, whereas the Teargas nade launcher will screw with most people a lot more then a short blinding that isn't much more then a laser pointer in someone's eye, and their need be fewer cheap systems as opposed to the expensive cost of the laser.

Unless, possibly, bear with me on this, the pirates get a hold of the tear gas launchers by successfully capturing a ship. Why would the cargo crew wear gas masks so often? The psychological effects of tear gas aren't even that daunting. They cough and splutter. They're in pain. It passes. They're free to carry on. Besides, all that needs to happen is that the captain of the skiff wears a gasmask. The skiff carries on, they get the canister overboard and the gas eventually clears. They're still as pissed as they were before. They won't panic or be severely traumatised.

 

[w00tage]

Up the wattage a bit and let them cut the boats in half. That would discourage the pirates pretty well too...

Why aren't shipping companies just using javelins? $75,000 is peanuts to them.

Because firing lethal ordinance at specs on the horizon is a great idea in a intensively used fishing zone with some busy trade lanes between them!

The reason the pirates get withing boarding range so often is because there's no way to differentiate between somebody selling fresh fish because foreign ships generally have no warlords on them to take your catch and murder you for not giving it freely and somebody after your random until they either point a trout* or a gun in your face.

*example because I don't know what they actually catch off the Horn of Africa.

Hey, once the other boat starts opening fire or throwing grappling hooks, then they can cut the boat in half.. That way they don't accidently hurt any innocents...

The problem is that by the time they're close enough to see the guns and RPGs they have pointed at you - they have guns and RPGs pointed at you. And RPGs are anti-TANK weapons. One hit and all of your passengers and crew are heading for the lifeboats, which is not an improvement over the "hostage on your own ship with all the passengers locked in the cabins" situation.

Well you forget, if the Pirate use their weapons and start killing people, then the Militaries of the world get involved again, and the last time that happened it didn't turn out well for the pirates. Pirates are using the threat of violence rather than violence because there are people with much bigger guns out there, who don't bother asking for ransom, they just kill you.

Besides if one side uses the RPG and the other uses the laser, at least you can all go down together. Also depending on the type of ship being attacked, most of them can stay afloat and keep moving with a big hole in them, while the skiffs tend to become aquarium decoration.

Sorry, but I think you forget that the civilian ship crews' first and only duty is to ensure the safety of their passengers. So my point was that they are not going to engage in any conflict whatsoever, because by the time they can do so, they've already lost the battle to keep their passengers safe.

 

[Monshroud]

Sorry, but I think you forget that the civilian ship crews' first and only duty is to ensure the safety of their passengers. So my point was that they are not going to engage in any conflict whatsoever, because by the time they can do so, they've already lost the battle to keep their passengers safe.

I think you need to re-read the article mate. They aren't talking about using these on Royal Carribean cruise liners. These could be used on trade cargo ships. While those people I guess are civilians, we are not talking the general public. No reason trade ships couldn't have a "Sea Marshall" that could be onboard to handle such threats. Which overall would probably be cheaper than the ransoms.

Quote from OP:

They go out in little skiffs with AK-47s and RPGs (no, not that kind, as amusing as it would be to see someone try to hijack a ship with a copy of Dragon Age), board trade ships, and don't even have the common courtesy to be Johnny Depp or Keira Knightley.

 

[Retosa]

Snip

Or they'll get close to a ship, receive a few warning shots, get pissed and sink the ship. You'd think with the war on terror going on, fewer people would want to become terrorists. In fact, with the promise of certain death, you'd think fewer people would strap themselves up and explode. You start hunting pirates, you give people a bigger reason to hunt you, quite simply. Because they won't see it as self-defence, they'll see it as militarisation and call it wrong.

And remember that the laser could quite easily deter more than one skiff at a time. It won't break their eyes, but it will certainly fuck with them. It will fuck with them enough to give the cargo boat a chance at gaining some distance.

And a tear-gas grenade launcher wouldn't hit anything. It'd just splash in the water. And that'll be it. Gas the fish. You bastard.

Except that lazers are directional weapons, and only affect a small area. I mean, if you have two or three skiffs in a tight Delta Formation, yes. If they have a slightly intelligent leader, which mosto fthem have, they won't come in all from the same side.

Also- their wasting thousands on a useless laser, they can't invest in researching attaching floaties to gas nades?

The laser would be easy to turn and face other skiffs. Piloting a boat isn't as easy as it looks, particularly in the wake of a much larger boat. Shine the laser into the eyes of one skiff, it'll peel off, or risk colliding with the cargo ship, or hitting a bad wave and capsizing. While it peels off, you can turn the laser to the other skiff. Eventually, they'll work out they're not getting anywhere, and go off and harass somebody else. Whereas, if you start shooting gas grenades into skiffs, even on the off-chance it'll hit, what stops them wearing gas masks? And just looking at the colour of the laser won't help them tell what colour goggles would help. So far, I only know of clear goggles and snow goggles. Never seen any coloured ones.

And the laser doesn't have an immediate dissipation. Look straight at the Sun. For a short That's what the laser is designed to do. It's a deterrent, not a weapon.

And gas is a bigger detterent then you are assuming. Chemical weapons, even 'nice' ones like tear gas, require you to have a mask over your entire face, which if you get gassed before you have it on is worthless. In addition, these masks are incredibly uncomfortable, especially the cheap models a pirate baron is most likely to buy. And your eyes do adapt pretty quick, unless they are going to be flickering the laser on and off while doing this, I assume so, and even then, pretty quickly they'll just move back in, faster then the laser can be maneuvered, and once within a certain range, it'll be completely useless, since it won't be able to hit the ships.

Not to mention the psychological effects of being involved with a gas attack. Imagine your a pirate, and you and your closest buddies are wearing gas masks as you approach a ship. Suddenly, something hits your ship with a thud, and you see the canister. Your buddy reaches for the canister- then starts coughing, his mask was put on incorrectly! eyes welling with tears as he coughs and sputters, your other buddy starts to cough and sputter too, and the thought crosses your mind that you might not of done it well, and then you start feeling short of breath.

The gas only need hit one man to panic the others into suffering the same effects, hell, fake chemical warfare drills that cought soldiers by surprise has almost killed people from the resulting panic.

The only way the laser weapon is even useful is if there are multiple of it on the ship, whereas the Teargas nade launcher will screw with most people a lot more then a short blinding that isn't much more then a laser pointer in someone's eye, and their need be fewer cheap systems as opposed to the expensive cost of the laser.

Unless, possibly, bear with me on this, the pirates get a hold of the tear gas launchers by successfully capturing a ship. Why would the cargo crew wear gas masks so often? The psychological effects of tear gas aren't even that daunting. They cough and splutter. They're in pain. It passes. They're free to carry on. Besides, all that needs to happen is that the captain of the skiff wears a gasmask. The skiff carries on, they get the canister overboard and the gas eventually clears. They're still as pissed as they were before. They won't panic or be severely traumatised.

I see you've never been hit with tear gas! You can't see because your eyes sting horribly, you can barely breathe because it hurts. Your skin gets itchy. It's not fun. It's definitely a deterrent. Your crew aren't going to properly work under that, especially if one or two of them actually gets hit full on in the face with it.

Yeah, it's an extremely mild chemical warfare agent, but it's certainly not fun, and it is very useful as a deterrent. Would just suck if you hit a pirate ship that had a couple of those guys that happen to be immune to it. I think it's something like 1 in 100 or 1 in 1000 people who don't really feel the effects of tear gas.

 

[Thyunda]

snip

But for the tear gas to actually work, you'd need to land it on the deck of the ship. If you're close enough to get a decent tear gas canister shot in, they're close enough to get a rocket-propelled grenade shot in retaliation. Gas is gas, even if it's as bad as tear gas. Balaclavas and goggles might not keep the effects away permanently, but it can delay it long enough to throw the canister overboard, and with the wind as bad as winds get out at sea, the gas won't remain for long.

Hell, you'd be lucky if the gas actually spread enough to affect anyone without the wind taking it straight over the side of the ship.

 

[RoBi3.0]

and this is why pirates are better then ninjas, do you see anyone making an anti ninja laser?

You would have to find a Ninja before you could worrying about firing a laser at it, and you don't find Ninjas they find you.