Broken heart, any suggestions on what to do?

[White_Lama]

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?
And do any of you people have any suggestion on what I can do to ease the sadness I feel when I see them posting about their "eternal love" all over the place?

Thank you for letting me vent my shit all over your screen.

 

[Firstmark_Bannor]

Warning! The method I'm about to describe is the method I use. Results may vary.
A few years ago I dealt with a very similar situation, my answer was isolation. I just quit bothering with relationships. I've had one night stands since then, but no real relationships. Solitude goes a long way to teach the value of company. I've spent 2 (maybe 3) years like this now and I've forgotten the pain of relationships to be replaced by the pain Solitude, a much easier weight to bear.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I don't know if you're trying to keep in touch with her, but don't. Avoid all contact with her, try and forget about the whole business. At least for a while, or you'll find it impossible to get over.

 

[Ubermetalhed]

Be with your good friends as much as you can and never ever talk to her again.

The latter is the most important. You start speaking again and you gonna get hurt more.

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

Muscular douchey guys have better bodies.
It's why I decided to become a muscular douchey guy.

I've also dealt with a similar problem, long distance relationship, girl suddenly decides she doesn't want that, shacks up with another guy a little while after she tells you, or in my case, before she tells you.

I haven't had a relationship past playful flirting since, and broke contact with her after responding to 'I think I made a mistake' with 'You think?'

Works for me.

 

[White_Lama]

The solitude one will probably be my best bet for a while, and not talking to her for a few months or such.

Because, I don't want her back as a girlfriend, but I want to keep her as a friend, the issue is well, since it went on for a while and the breakup was so recent, it keeps gnawing in the back of my head that she at least deserves better then that guy.

I appreciate the help people <3

 

[iLazy]

You're still going to have feelings for her for a while, so the best bet is to avoid her for a bit. If she asks, just say that you still want to be friends, but you need some time for yourself or else both of you are going to get hurt by the emotions that are still up in the air.

Don't spend the entire time alone though. When you're up to it, go hang out with some of your friends. Get a few laughs in and have a good time. Or if your buds are busy, then go do something you enjoy. Paint, hike, swim etc.

And if you see the "enternal love" stuff, try avoiding that site or block their posts.

I can't answer for the douchey guys, but as for the muscular... well as I girl, I do prefer guys with muscle tone. It just looks so nice. Then again I have a weakness for abs and nice arms.

I'm not too sure why girls go for douchey guys but in my experience, it seems the toned guys are the biggest assholes. Which saddens me because I can't deal with that attitude D:<

 

[Mallefunction]

"Why do they want the muscly douches instead of nice guys"

That phrase right there killed any motivation I had to help you.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Be an uncaring bastard like myself and just stop caring about 90% of the things in the world.

*Warning* side-effects may include, but are not limited to, being anti-social, low patience levels for idiots, blood shot eyes from reading too many books and playing too many games. *Warning*

 

[PeePantz]

This kind of girl should be easier to get over, so don't worry. Sure it stings, but remember that she was probably cheating on you and, obviously, not "girlfriend material". The only way real hurt will happen if things are going well and/or you still really want to be with her (you shouldn't and her actions speak volumes why).

As someone has said, isolation from the opposite sex is what is needed. You'd be amazed that when not dwelling on females, how many will appear in your life. Just have fun and get involved in activities to keep your mind occupied.

 

[Rathcoole]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--1LBnOcHhQ


Follow their advice. It will solve everything.

 

[smithy_2045]

Any attempts to convince her that she's dating a douchebag will probably result in her accusing you of jealousy, which would probably be accurate.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Okie Dokie. A little over a year ago my girlfriend (of 4 years) and I parted ways, and (like you) she had a new boyfriend within a few months (even though one of our reasons was that she didn't want a relationship while pursuing her studies or some crap like that). At about the stage you're at now, I was doing the same thing, trying to stay 'friends'. Don't do it champ, it won't work, and you'll stay hung up on her for longer than you should. Endeavour not to see her or speak to her ever again. Let her know you don't want to be friends or stay in touch (This will be easier for you than it was for me anyway, because mine lives one street away, so, small miracles?). Otherwise, you'll have to keep hearing about how happy she is, how many new boyfriends she gets, all that crap, you don't need or want it.

Now is the time to do shit for YOU, and get your messed up little head completely off her. Hang out heaps with the friends you already have, and join a sports club or something, you don't even have to be any good. Just rock up to indoor beach volleyball or netball or something. Whatever, not even sports, just some interest group (But many cute girls play sports, just sayin...). Anyway, play your cards right and you won't have too much trouble, and you'll be happy, confident and awesome, just like me.

Huh, I think I've said enough. PM me if you really want, but this'll do. Don't listen to sad songs. Chin up laddy.

 

[MetalDooley]

Because, I don't want her back as a girlfriend, but I want to keep her as a friend,

My advice..Don't bother.From my experience staying friends with an ex is something that only works when the breakup is completely mutual and amicable.It seems clear that you're still affected by the dumping and the fact that she moved on so quickly so the best thing to do is cut her out of your life.Plus it pretty much seems obvious that she dumped you for this other guy and didn't even have the fucking decency to tell you this instead using some bullshit reason that previously wasn't a problem.Does that sound like the kind of person you want to be friends with?On top of that the act that she hooked up with the other guy so quick would lead me to have doubts over her fidelity

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Buy a gun. Preferably a revolver that doesn't actually work. Even if you don't need it after all, it might still come in handy in case Ze Germans come for you.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Prepare for wall of text containing whining.

So about two months back my girlfriend for 3 years dumped me because she "couldn't handle" the same distance we had between our homes for those 3 years and she hadn't complained one bit before. We had started planning our future aswell, and out of the blue she didn't want me anymore. Coincidentally she also got a new boyfriend about a week after dumping me, a guy I introduced her to aswell. A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either.

We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died.

Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?
And do any of you people have any suggestion on what I can do to ease the sadness I feel when I see them posting about their "eternal love" all over the place?

Thank you for letting me vent my shit all over your screen.

This sounds familiar. I bloke I'm familiar with had his girlfriend dump him and a week later she found herself a new one. I know both of them, but I'm much more familiar with the girl.
She told me that she had been seeing her new boyfriend while she was still with her old boyfriend. She dumped him with some excuse, something about his pessimistic attitude, and got herself a new army-boy hunk, which is two years older than her and can legally drink and do... naughty things to others in his age.
.
It's tough, especially since you were with her for three years, but if she ditched you because of something so minor, maybe it was because she was too moronic to realize how awesome you are.
Stay strong.

 

[PeePantz]

Why does girls always go for the muscular douchy guys when they say they want a nice guy?

Muscular guys are more aesthetically pleasing to most girls. It's like saying, "Why do guys like girls with large, round boobs?" As far as the douche sentiment, while guys might see a person as a douche, girls probably won't. They're probably more interesting and less shy which leads to better conversation. At least, less boring conversation.

In short, "douchey guys" tend to be more attractive and more fun. Also, attraction is a very strong thing for one to look past a lot of flaws. "He's kind of a dick, but damn does he look good in those jeans" kind of thing.

 

[holy_secret]

I dump people before they get a chance to, so I have no idea what to do.

Not all girl go for the douches. I've met a lot of girl that enjoy the cute and homey guy.
My suggestion would be to end the friendship. Tell her you need a break from her, and that she has to understand why you need it. You should also say you'd like to go back to the friendship once you're ready.

If she has no interest, you know it's not even worth having a friendship with her anymore. If she doesn't want to or even makes the slightest effort, why should you?

 

[thiosk]

Its ok, all the chicks dig archeology.

Or at least, you'll dig them up.

Don't worry about it!

 

[Woodsey]

"A guy with muscles and a guy that's a douche. They don't have anything in common either."

... is that a joke? I can't tell.

Anyway:

"We're stil trying to stay friends, and I don't think she can really shut me out since I was there for her when her dad and both her grandmas died."

Correction: you're still trying to stay friends with her, justifying it in your head by pulling whatever you can out of your arse.

She's done with you, leave her behind.