Can a teacher encourage/ignore bullying or even be a bully? Why?

[RustlessPotato]

I never got bullied by other kids in high school, but the teachers were on my back 24/7. It was fucking insane. I dont know how that school is still open.

I can go into more detail if you folks want me to but for know im just gonna say: yes, teachers can be bullies too, and the victim doesnt necessarily have to be some dolt who gets bullied by other kids too.

Please, give us more detail =D

 

[hawkeye52]

I remember getting bullied once. It ended fairly quickly for 3 reasons.

1) I got fed up at one point and unlike him could learn from mistakes quickly so when he tried charging me a second time in rugby PE I just sidestepped and floored him.

2) The entire class ostracised him because although I wasn't popular (had practically no social life outside of the internet from years 9-11) and didn't make friends with the people in school. It was an incredibly small school with 14 people in my year so people picked up on this and started ignoring him and telling him to stop following them.

3) He got expelled from our school 3 weeks in because he was a dick and apparently he had tried beating someone up out of hours from our school and had his ass kicked in or something.

 

[Elate]

The closest we ever had to a teacher who bullied anyone was one 11th grade English teacher who picked on everyone equally, and he didn't mind if we did the same to him. I think he just used that to get us to think quick. Really more like verbal sparring than bullying.

I've found that some of the best teachers I've ever had are like that. The kind that you can take a jab at because you know they won't blow up about it, since they do it themselves. They just understand the students better.

As for me, the closest I think I've had was a teacher that picked on me for sucking my thumb in primary (5-6 years old) because she deemed it childish for a boy to do such things, and tried using humiliation tactics but she was just a sub teacher, and I got the point where I didn't care. That was also the point where things like stickers and stamps no longer concerned me. So.. I guess I should thank her really, for helping me get above the simple "reward" system often employed by schools, helped me advance at my own pace through school, since I just didn't care.

I got bullied once or twice, hit the dude back, got a bit of a telling off from the teacher, but I think they knew, so nothing overly harsh, just the usual "you shouldn't hit people, go stand by the wall for 5 minutes"

 

[EPICGunner]

Can a teacher bully? Yes, my year 4 teacher did and I really don't like talking about it.
Can teachers help or encourage bullying? Yes, in my opinion the only reason the teachers at my primary school didn't put a stop to the bulling was because to them that's the way things were.

 

[Zeema]

My Teacher's didn't care even told me that 'your the Bully'

even thou i was the one thrown into a bin and thrown around like a ragdoll

 

[Scoffy89]

I must say, after reading these posts and hearing stories from friends about similar incidents I see myself as ridiculously lucky that this never happened to me.

I mean I was bullied quite a bit during primary school. I moved around quite a bit between 5 and 11 because my dad kept getting jobs in different places and I was bullied in several of the schools but the teachers in every school were always really supportive and helpful. When I first heard of instances like these I was quite appalled though now I just think, anyone can be an asshole.

Still it surprises me that teachers can be so stupid and blind in some cases. Though there probably are some shits that make up stories to get others into trouble and it might have made some teachers cynical. Still not an excuse when a genuine bullying case comes up.

 

[Dastardly]

In many cases when I hear of how to handle a bully telling a teacher is usually at the top of the list. But when I was growing up going to the teacher very often got me the lecture of being a 'tattletale' for saying so and so was saying hurtful things or even once getting a punishment for telling about a student who was flat out making me cry. Also some of my teachers have done things which I found out are not punishments that are looked upon favorably by many people and could even be considered illegal, such as one sticking me in the kindergarden classroom and bringing my classmates to laugh at me.

My point in mentioning this has made me wonder about the very question this is titled with: Can/Why will a teacher encourage/ignore or participate in bullying?

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I already know that some of what was done is wrong and I'm trying to get past it but this question had been bugging me as of late.

Captcha: Head case... Ow.

Sometimes, it's a matter of "What do you want me to do?" I was bullied during middle school, so I'm quite familiar with how it all happens. And now I'm a teacher. I take bullying very seriously myself, but very often it becomes a matter of not being able to do much.

Should I punish the kid? Well, you'd better be prepared to prove what they did or said. If we punish the kid, and the parent demands to know why, and we claim to have just taken the other kid's word for it, we've got a fight on our hands. Teachers don't win fights against parents, because parents can't get fired.

Should I give the bully a stern talking to? Okay, but he's going to ignore it, and he's going to know who told on him, so I don't imagine that helping a great deal.

If he called you names, and you called him something back, and he's just "better" at it or whatever, you've put me in an awkward position -- now it's just a fight you lost, not "bullying." If you're seeking out confrontations for the purposes of getting this guy in trouble, you're part of the problem to (more common than you might think). Basically, until one lays hands on the other, in the presence of witnesses, there's not much we can do about a specific bully.

All I can really do is try to watch closer, when the kids are under my supervision, and catch it while it happens. And, as much as possible, I can keep the kids separate. But, as you may have pieced together, most bullying doesn't happen during class.

But other than that, we can just make a note, watch closely, and inform the parents. Teachers aren't an enforcement agency when it comes to discipline. We want to stop bullying, but it's not as easy as people seem to think.

 

[Buleet]

meh I got bullied when I was very young.. know what I did? stood the fuck up for myself and ended it like a rational person... and now I'm a stronger person for it and have been able to deal and stop it from happening to me again...

god kids need to stop crying and grow a pair

Alright, explain how you "ended it like a rational person".

The "rational" option we get most of the time is tell the teachers. That doesn't work as you can see from all the things that have been said here already.

beat them up? You get punished and you get more trouble and they will bully you harder.

Tell them to fuck off? NEVER works and makes them laugh at you.

It is complete and utter bullshit that getting bullied makes you stronger. It mentally breaks you. There are people attacking and hating you for nothing but their own kicks. That does not give very beneficial ideas to the young mind leading to the bully-cide phenomenon .
You most likely never really got bullied. At most you were collateral damage once.

 

[Triple G]

In many cases when I hear of how to handle a bully telling a teacher is usually at the top of the list. But when I was growing up going to the teacher very often got me the lecture of being a 'tattletale' for saying so and so was saying hurtful things or even once getting a punishment for telling about a student who was flat out making me cry. Also some of my teachers have done things which I found out are not punishments that are looked upon favorably by many people and could even be considered illegal, such as one sticking me in the kindergarden classroom and bringing my classmates to laugh at me.

My point in mentioning this has made me wonder about the very question this is titled with: Can/Why will a teacher encourage/ignore or participate in bullying?

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I already know that some of what was done is wrong and I'm trying to get past it but this question had been bugging me as of late.

Captcha: Head case... Ow.

I think being bullied is not as bad as being tattletale. And I have been bullied. I mean it's hasn't been anything like getting my head stuck into a toilet because I could always put up enough of a fight to make others think that physically bullying me isn't profitable. So at school, it was only mass ridicule. But hey, shit always falls downward, and so I ridiculed other people to make up for it, but only if they REALLY deserved it.
Also one should note that if one is beaten up for fun, one should consider seeking revenge in other ways than telling.
Think about it: Bullying is a one-sided conflict started by the stronger party, or a group of the weaker against one stronger person. So if you get bullied, can you get revenge and win the conflict, or would you give up first?
If you're not strong enough to stand up to a bully, you have to tell because you're to weak. And then you aren't a tattletale. BUT if you tell on someone because he's been drawing boobs on the chalkboard when the teacher wasn't there, then you're a tattletale and should be thrown in a dumpster.

 

[Simonccx]

I would go with the whole teachers are human idea, also you gotta realise there is a fine line between bullying and tough love. Some kids do actually respond well to it as it shakes them out of being rude and lazy. I wont always condone it but I will see that no teacher will ever intentionally encourage it, if you feel bullied and confront the teacher they will apologise and explain their actions, even if they were wrong they will accept that. Remember though that teachers dont know everything and cant always come down on a bully just based on one persons word. I have know children who are very sensitive or even paranoid and see bullying when it isnt there, likewise I have known teachers who have so many demands on their time through govenment policy that they are unable to help (sad I know).

Remember as well, horrible though it sounds, bullying is a fact of life, life IS competative and some people WILL be assholes. I would hate to think children are completely wrapped up in cotton wool.

Lastly teachers do have limited power, they cant physically restrain and watch out for you every second of the day. When some people critcise teachers for ignoring it it is because most occurances dont last, what seems an eternity when you are at school really only lasts a few weeks in MOST cases. I accept not all, trust me Ive been there.

 

[nuba km]

meh I got bullied when I was very young.. know what I did? stood the fuck up for myself and ended it like a rational person... and now I'm a stronger person for it and have been able to deal and stop it from happening to me again...

god kids need to stop crying and grow a pair

Alright, explain how you "ended it like a rational person".

The "rational" option we get most of the time is tell the teachers. That doesn't work as you can see from all the things that have been said here already.

beat them up? You get punished and you get more trouble and they will bully you harder.

Tell them to fuck off? NEVER works and makes them laugh at you.

It is complete and utter bullshit that getting bullied makes you stronger. It mentally breaks you. There are people attacking and hating you for nothing but their own kicks. That does not give very beneficial ideas to the young mind leading to the bully-cide phenomenon .
You most likely never really got bullied. At most you were collateral damage once.

lol... need a tissue?

seriously grow up and stop playing the weeping victim

so some one brings up a very strong argument against what you said pointing out that what you said shows an utter lack of understanding the subject and then you simply insult them. so please share with us how you ended it rationally, because I think we would all like to know how you have solved the issue of bullying I mean verbal or physical confrontations don't work neither those getting a authority figure as far as I can tell the only way is to hope it just ends and try your best to ignore it. So what is this magic solution you have?

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Remember as well, horrible though it sounds, bullying is a fact of life, life IS competative and some people WILL be assholes. I would hate to think children are completely wrapped up in cotton wool.

The thing is, there's a difference between competition, teasing, name calling, etc (which I realize you can't stop, and I don't think is that big a deal)...and harassment.

If someone is calling you names or stuff, then you need to get over it. Otherwise the real world will eat you alive.

However, if you're being mocked and ostracized on a daily basis by the entire school, are getting your personal space violated (or beaten up), and your self esteem is being systematically broken down and turned into wood chips...Then it's harassment and it needs to be dealt with. That kind of shit isn't acceptable in the real world, so why do we allow kids to do it?

 

[Darthbawls77]

I remember getting bullied once. It ended fairly quickly for 3 reasons.

1) I got fed up at one point and unlike him could learn from mistakes quickly so when he tried charging me a second time in rugby PE I just sidestepped and floored him.

2) The entire class ostracised him because although I wasn't popular (had practically no social life outside of the internet from years 9-11) and didn't make friends with the people in school. It was an incredibly small school with 14 people in my year so people picked up on this and started ignoring him and telling him to stop following them.

3) He got expelled from our school 3 weeks in because he was a dick and apparently he had tried beating someone up out of hours from our school and had his ass kicked in or something.

I had the same thing happen to me when I was younger but we had around 700 kids in my class year, you had 14? Funny how things can work on small to large scales in the same way. But good for you man, way to step up to a jerk!

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Teachers are human. Not excusing anything, just stating a fact. Although they obviously should be above such things given their position of authority, especially teachers who are close in age to their students (fresh outta college high school teachers, for instance), can fall into this. When I was in school, the coaches were the worst offenders when it came to bullying students/allowing students to bully other students.

When I was in school.. eons ago.. bullying was a part of life. It was something you had to deal with at some level if you weren't one of the super popular students (read: jocks or cheerleaders). It just.. was. *shrug* We just lived with it. We didn't tell (tattling it was called then).. and if someone did tell, teachers basically told us to figure it out for ourselves. As such, I have a hard time understanding why it's such a big deal now.

Please note that I'm not saying it's NOT a big deal now.. just that I don't understand how it changed so radically in such a relatively short time.

If you want to know, it's summed up in three words: zero tolerance policies. They're supposed to end bullying by making it a serious offense to get into a fight, but what it really does is punish fighting back just as strongly starting a fight. Add that to some inconsistent enforcement and a situation where the bullies tend to throw in a thousand little, easily denied jabs while the victim, if they eventually snap, does so /hard/ and in a way that the teachers can't ignore, you have a recipe for institutionalized bullying.

 

[Simonccx]

Remember as well, horrible though it sounds, bullying is a fact of life, life IS competative and some people WILL be assholes. I would hate to think children are completely wrapped up in cotton wool.

The thing is, there's a difference between competition, teasing, name calling, etc (which I realize you can't stop, and I don't think is that big a deal)...and harassment.

If someone is calling you names or stuff, then you need to get over it. Otherwise the real world will eat you alive.

However, if you're being mocked and ostracized on a daily basis by the entire school, are getting your personal space violated (or beaten up), and your self esteem is being systematically broken down and turned into wood chips...Then it's harassment and it needs to be dealt with. That kind of shit isn't acceptable in the real world, so why do we allow kids to do it?

I completely agree, one problem though, proof. Horrible as it sounds the majority of this goes on when there are very few witnesses and even fewer who will actually drop names etc. If a child comes up to you caliming he is being bullied how do you trust his words over anothers? How can you be sure he isnt doing it out of spite cos the otehrs wouldnt let him join in? What do you do? Talk to the other kids, who (probably) will repsond even worse the the child in question and some actual bullying may occur if there wasnt any before. Do you move them out of the class? (lotta hassle there especially if there are multiple kids).

The difficulty again is that some children are FAR more sensitive to this than others, thats not me being ignorant, its true. And remember many of those Bullys may not even beleive they are being bullies or that the person is upset, many times they will say its 'just a bit of fun' and if you tell them otherwise then you are seen as out of touch. I dont agree with bullying but its hard to send a message and even harder to identify it from a thrid party perspective and do something which doesnt make things worse for the child.

 

[Aris Khandr]

Of course they can. Especially when they agree with the bullies.

I make no secret of who I am, or what I believe. A lesbian atheist growing up in the Bible Belt doesn't win friends easily. Especially when close to 75% of the school (teachers included) goes to the same church. A very, very pro-evangelist church. I was outright told by the vice principle that they would not stop the harassment I received, and that I deserved it for my godless ways. I had about five teachers on my side in that school, and the rest were pretty solidly against me. Pretty much as long as the bullies, teachers included, didn't do anything that could be proved, they had free reign to try to make my life as miserable as they liked. Because I was "the Devil's Daughter" (yes, some people at that school actually believed that), and the rules of school and society were on hold for me since the rules of the church came first.

 

[requisitename]

If you want to know, it's summed up in three words: zero tolerance policies. They're supposed to end bullying by making it a serious offense to get into a fight, but what it really does is punish fighting back just as strongly starting a fight. Add that to some inconsistent enforcement and a situation where the bullies tend to throw in a thousand little, easily denied jabs while the victim, if they eventually snap, does so /hard/ and in a way that the teachers can't ignore, you have a recipe for institutionalized bullying.

Actually, what I meant was that I don't understand why the "zero tolerance policies" and such exist. I don't understand why kids/teenagers kill themselves over bullying now. Bullying just doesn't seem worth all that to me. Kids are cruel to each other, teenagers are much worse. I don't see it ever being stopped.. just becoming more sneaky to circumvent rules about it.

I was bullied most of the way through school. I played it off, made jokes, laughed at myself, bided my time until I got out of school, and then got on with my life. It just wasn't a thing the way it seems to be now. It's as though bullying was an inconvenience for my generation, but is somehow something bigger and worse now. I'm not sure if bullying itself has changed so much or if kids are just less able to handle it now for whatever reason(s).

I know I probably sound callous and/or clueless.. but, as I said, I just don't understand the current mentality toward bullying. It's not that I feel it shouldn't be an issue, it just kind of boggles my mind why it is.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

If you want to know, it's summed up in three words: zero tolerance policies. They're supposed to end bullying by making it a serious offense to get into a fight, but what it really does is punish fighting back just as strongly starting a fight. Add that to some inconsistent enforcement and a situation where the bullies tend to throw in a thousand little, easily denied jabs while the victim, if they eventually snap, does so /hard/ and in a way that the teachers can't ignore, you have a recipe for institutionalized bullying.

Actually, what I meant was that I don't understand why the "zero tolerance policies" and such exist. I don't understand why kids/teenagers kill themselves over bullying now. Bullying just doesn't seem worth all that to me. Kids are cruel to each other, teenagers are much worse. I don't see it ever being stopped.. just becoming more sneaky to circumvent rules about it.

I was bullied most of the way through school. I played it off, made jokes, laughed at myself, bided my time until I got out of school, and then got on with my life. It just wasn't a thing the way it seems to be now. It's as though bullying was an inconvenience for my generation, but is somehow something bigger and worse now. I'm not sure if bullying itself has changed so much or if kids are just less able to handle it now for whatever reason(s).

I know I probably sound callous and/or clueless.. but, as I said, I just don't understand the current mentality toward bullying. It's not that I feel it shouldn't be an issue, it just kind of boggles my mind why it is.

Like I said, it's become worse because of those policies, and those policies were put in to pander to well meaning but very, very stupid parents and special interests. Your generation just had more options for dealing with it than mine did or the current generations of school kids do; the adults ignore it /unless/ you stand up for yourself, and then you get in serious trouble, so you're stuck in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. It's maddening, it can scar you for life, and if you're not lucky enough to have a good support network, you're at an understandably elevated risk of suicide.