Worgen said:
Sounds like a school that needs to be burned down to me. You couldn't record what was going on or anything and turn it into a shitstorm?
Not really, it wasn't the kind of bullying that you could do that with. It was the kind where a teacher would declare half the class for "studying", and then do nothing about how half of the class decided to come "share their personal relationship with Jesus" whether I wanted them to or not. I couldn't leave class, I couldn't concentrate on my work, I couldn't read a book and ignore them. But, since it was "a free period", they technically weren't doing anything wrong.
Or how they made it a point to tell me the sorts of things that I'd be expected to go over in sex ed class, knowing I was a lesbian and thus about as likely to need to know how to put a condom on a guy as a whale is to need rollerskates. Coincidentally, that bit them in the ass, as I simply didn't attend sex ed. At the time, even in high school permission slips were required for the class. I simply didn't give mine to my mother.
The school, and the teachers therein, were very careful to make sure that any complaints came down to "my word against theirs", and would obviously circle the wagons if I complained. Physical bullying was rare. I had books damaged, I got shoved around a bit, but no bruises, no injuries. It was mental. It was them going out of their way to make sure I knew and everyone else knew that I "didn't belong there". It was the way that people I'd never met before knew me by name. The way freshmen whispered and tried not to let me see them staring. The way I was forced to change in the bathroom for gym, instead of the locker room, and how whenever there was even a chance of physical contact I was paired with the boys. They were so afraid that I'd molest my classmates, but didn't care at all that the boys didn't care that I wasn't interested in them. "It's wrestling, Erin, they're going to touch you."
There were the unspoken threats. When three or four guys who were much bigger than me (at 110 lbs, everyone is bigger than me) would corner me and just start talking. It didn't matter what they talked about, but their body language made it clear that they had no intention of letting me leave until they were done. And, of course, they were "done" when the bell rang. So I was late to class, and in more trouble.
The funny thing was, they were scared of me. These weren't the "Eastern and Christmas" Christians who believe in the devil as a metaphor. These people were "twice a week, Lucifer is real and out to get us every moment of every day" Christians who legitimately believed that I was the daughter of Satan, send there to... damned if I know what. But they were scared of me. I was in high school when Columbine happened. Ironically, I'd been asking my parents for a trench coat for nearly a year, and my father was supposed to take me out shopping that afternoon to get one. I hadn't made a secret of it, and told the friends I did have how excited I was. When Columbine happened, the school called my mother specifically and told her that trench coats were now banned. I never did get to go shopping, and for a month after that I could feel the entire school watching me, as though just waiting for me to pull a gun out of my jacket, my backpack, something.
I'm not sure the last paragraph is even relevant. Just stream of consciousness. Anyway, the point is that the school made sure not to overtly do anything. Just subtly encourage it all.
