Casual sex

[Divine Miss Bee]

i'll make out with anyone, and if i know someone's clean and i care about them, i'll do whatever sexual stuff they want me to. sex is about feeling good, for me, and if i can help someone else feel good i;m happy to do it. the risks with that, of course, are pretty high. i've been called a slut by a lot of people. but i've embraced the fact that if wanting to feel good and wanting others to feel good is slutty, that is exactly what i am and i have no shame about it. i've never cheated on anyone, or been the "other woman," so why be ashamed about my hookup count?

 

[Wheeleybird]

I'm personally more into monogamy but I really don't see why people are so judgmental. Casual sex if fine as long as you use protection and aren't spreading your own form of super-herpes to everyone.

 

[Darthbawls77]

I'm sorry, I had to.

Anyway, I think it has it's up and down. Who knows, maybe your friend has some diseases he/she never knew about. So having sex Willy-Nilly can be pretty messy.

Omg this made me spit my drink all over my keyboard! Bravo, bravo!

 

[Veroxx]

Me and one of my best friends had some serious sexual tension throughout high-school and into college, about 5 years. Eventually we did just end up sleeping with each other and I can honestly say we act no differently at all with each other and I would go as far as to say it's just made us better friends than we were before...
Oh and it was both of our first time...

EDIT: That Scott pilgrim post made me laugh. Lots.

 

[Legion IV]

I think its wrong and terrible all the other bad words. I wouldn't touch someone who openly said they do it with a ten inch pole and would just leave and not talk to them, could never be a friend with someone like that. I'd be hard holding back all my anger.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I think it's just logical thinking. Everyone(with few exceptions of course) likes sex, and if two people on good terms want to have sex but aren't looking for a serious or necessarily lasting relationship... what's the problem?

Though you'd need to establish certain rules before hand, like both of you getting tested for STDs (or are they called STIs now?) before you start anything and after sex with any third party, or what happens in the case of an accidental pregnancy, or what happens if one of you starts liking someone else (do you stop right then and there? Or do you continue until the relationship starts? Do you tell the third person and let them decide what happens?).

I think that as long as everyone consents and you go over these sorts of rules beforehand (and follow them of course) it's fine. I mean, sex only means as much as you want it to, so it is only an expression of love if that is why you are doing it, and likewise, if you are just being f***buddies then it's 'just sex', no harm, no foul.

 

[Treblaine]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits?

Serious fuckers only have hardcore sex



Man, I hate how casual sex is nowadays, it's all so easy yet so unrewarding. Back in the good old days sex was a real challenge but you came out of it with a sense of accomplishment.

(PS: I haven't read the thread, but I'd be seriously disappointed if I am the first to make this joke)

 

[Treeinthewoods]

I'm a big fan of casually having sex with my wife, does that count?

As a single male in college I wasn't an all out man whore but I did my thing, I even would have completed the entire ethnic rainbow if I could have found a Middle Eastern woman that wanted to put out. That's actually suprisingly hard to do...

So I don't judge, it's not like my wife and I were virgins when we met so what does it matter?

 

[Evidencebased]

I'm reminded of the 1989 study where several students, male and female, who were in on the study went around college campuses asking unknown students of the opposite gender if they wanted to have sex that night. It was billed as the epitome of casual sex.

75% of male respondents said yes. 0% of female respondents said yes.

These numbers are telling. I believe that most men are quite happy with such a proposal because they don't see the loose woman as a person; they merely see her as a collection of an ass, breasts and vagina to enjoy a night of friction with, then move on. They have zero respect for her because she has zero respect for herself. Why shouldn't they "fulfill the urge" if she's willing to indulge them?

I respect women who want to go beyond simply sleeping around. I think sex should only be in a committed relationship or in the bounds of marriage. The way I see it, if you're friendly with someone, you'd say you were "close" to them, right? Progressively, if you were very good frinds with someone, you'd say you were "very close". Well, what happens when the two of you are so close that you're literally overlapping each other? That, boys and girls, is sex. What kind of friend would you consider that other person to be whom you've overlapped with? Someone you must love a hell of a lot, if you ask me.

I love my close friends a hell of a lot, platonically. And plenty of women I know do need to love someone to have sex with them, and plenty don't.

And as for the survey, just because female college students weren't willing to drop trou for a random guy on campus doesn't mean no women enjoy casual sex. It might just mean that casual sex for a woman can be riskier than for a guy, or that the female students weren't offered as attractive a questioner as the male students were, or that the male students responded jokingly without intending to follow through (or felt pressured to say "yes" but didn't intend to follow through) while the female students didn't think it was a safe joke to make or felt pressured to say "no", etc etc. There are all sorts of explanations for why a woman might turn down an offer of casual sex without it meaning that women all hate casual sex.

 

[floobie]

I don't want a relationship like that. I realize that not everyone associates sex with love, but I do. As such, it would likely only end up hurting me in the end. I don't care if other people do it. I don't look down on it (provided both parties are thoroughly aware of what the relationship is). I just don't wish to partake.

 

[The Dr0w Ranger]

I really don't like the concept, I am not social as a rule, I have a few friends who have my exclusive attention, I don't switch people or do parties etc. So casual sex is an extension of the idea.

Also, in regards to safety, nearly zero chance of infection isn't much comfort to the people who fall in that last 1%, and since there's no way to be sure.... Also I trust no one, so claiming you are safe does me little good.


Now on to my favorite part, the part where my opinion is promptly hurled from the nearest window.

I'm a Christian, and as such I believe its for marriage, I am not gonna force people to do what I say, the acts and the results thereof are theirs. However, I would be seriously challenged if a girl I was interested in had been around. It would be a major issue to me. Also a relationship can be viewed as a claim on a person, I don't even share my games very happily, I won't share my Significant Other.

Few minor points that I wanted to shoot down.
"Why shouldn't we give in to our base urges?"
Because those include killing others(watch any group of territorial animals), which is still wrong I presume? Being natural doesn't make something right.
"All those high and mighty people who think...."
Because if you are on the Free Love side of this its just fussy fools blathering on, but if you are otherwise, it provokes disgust and it is WRONG.
"Ain't your business"
Is Too, She asked....

 

[BabyRaptor]

I don't see sex as some sacred thing. I don't feel the need to be in a relationship to have it.

I swear, we girls who think like this aren't as rare as we're made out to be.

 

[Helscreama]

Personally, I probably wouldn't be able to pull off having sex with a friend and then not being awkward with them later or initially being serious. I equate sex with romance and feelings and stuff, so I probably couldn't get away with it. It wouldn't feel right to me.

But, I don't see anyone who CAN do it as anything bad, they just look at it differently than I do. No big deal. I'd also be fine with dating someone with that view, so long as they didn't mess around with anyone.

I'm one of these people, I have to be romanticly involved otherwise it gets awkward, I know this from my own experiences so I decided not to do it agian.

 

[suicide samurai]

I just wish I could have casual sex with my GF. Been together for 6 years, and man... has THAT gone out the window.

 

[Blaster395]

People can have whatever meaning they want behind sex, and that includes it being just for fun. Just remember that there is a great invention called a condom. USE IT.

 

[Shuswah_Noir]

This is the sort of thing that bought me to explore polyamory. One of the wonderful things about it is that you don't find small minded anti intellectual types in the poly social circles.

 

[trooper6]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

First things first. I don't care what other people do with their lives as long as whatever they do, they don't hurt anybody else. I have friends who are virgins at 30 and I have friends who sleep around. I have friends in long term monogamous relationships and friends in long term polyamorous relationships. As long as you are honest about what you are in to, practice sexer sex, and don't hurt anybody, more power to you.

So that said, for me personally (again, this is only for me, I don't judge you). I'm cool with casual sex, but I'm not down with friends with benefits. Casual sex (with relative strangers or distant acquaintances) can be hot and fun, and then when you are done, there are no complications. Friends with Benefits is just begging for some kind of emotional drama from someone at some point down the road. And I hate emotional drama.

Would I date someone who has slept around in the past? Sure, I've slept around. It's all good.
Would I date someone who occasionally has one night stands? As long as they are honest and safe sure. Would I date someone who is having a protracted affair with someone else? Nope.

 

[rayen020]

I'm married and honestly we would like to have a casual sex friend to have a threesome with. All and all if works for you whatever. I won't throw in my lot against it but i would urge you to be careful because that kind of thing could end up biting you in the ass. and not in a good way.

 

[Blaster395]

practice sexer sex

This has to be the best typo ever. Kudos to you.

 

[Nieroshai]

Emotionally, psychologically, we are wired to mate for life. If you take a partner for any length of time, sex with that person becomes associated with the relationship itself. Sleeping around only muddles this and leads to urges conflicting with emotional ties. People often end up feeling cheated even when there was no verbal "you and only you" agreement.