Chinese Officials Prevent Suicide With Butter

[Booze Zombie]

Sometimes? Yes. Note that he said "Everytime someone threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy." I would take from this that they don't believe all suicide attempts are for attention, just the ones that threaten to do so.

Plus, if you're going to commit suicide and you're not doing it for attention, there are far better ways to do so than jumping off a bridge. I hear guns work pretty well.

Bridges are cheaper than guns.

 

[Aedes]

Hum...
Butter, the answer for all of life's questions. From a nice breakfast to saving people's lifes.

 

[Amnestic]

Sometimes? Yes. Note that he said "Everytime someone threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy." I would take from this that they don't believe all suicide attempts are for attention, just the ones that threaten to do so.

Plus, if you're going to commit suicide and you're not doing it for attention, there are far better ways to do so than jumping off a bridge. I hear guns work pretty well.

Bridges are cheaper than guns.

Why does money matter if you're going to be dead? You could probably hang yourself in most houses if you don't really want to splash out on a gun or have trouble acquiring one.

The point is: If they're going to commit suicide and really believe they have nothing to live for, they're far less likely to do it in a public place. If someone's just attention seeking on the other hand...

 

[randommaster]

@ topic: The irony is... Now diabetics can easily kill themselves by just licking the bridge to death....

...Sorry, had to.

You could probably kill yourself by licking that bridge even if you didn't have diabeties. I hate to think of what's going to be growing on that bridge in a few days.

 

[Sallix]

I'm worried about the guys who will put on the butter, what if they were to slip and fall?!

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

I'd bring a bag of bagels, choose my jumping spot, keep applying butter on the bagels until the spot is unslippery, and then good day.

But could you really bring yourself to end it all when you have a bag full of freshly-buttered bagels just waiting to be eaten?

[small]At least I know that, when my response to this thread sends me to Hell, I'll at least have lots of company.[/small]

 

[Link Kadeshi]

It says something about a country that they have to find a way to prevent their population from killing themselves.

 

[hansari]

I don't know whether to marvel at the resourcefulness of the Chinese people or at Man's incredibly callous statement.

Yeah...so which is it? (I honestly wanna know...cause you know how crazy China is)

"Everytime someone threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy." I would take from this that they don't believe all suicide attempts are for attention, just the ones that threaten to do so.

Is their an actual suicide epidemic on this bridge? If so, this man is callous.

Or does this bridge just get backed up with traffic cause the jumpers never actually jump...if so, has no one in China heard of Youtube? Millions of people go their and spam videos in the hopes of being noticed...would involve less butter don't you think?

 

[Amnestic]

It says something about a country that they have to find a way to prevent their population from killing themselves.

Because suicide help groups/hotlines don't exist anywhere else in the world.

Oh wait.

Pot, Kettle, Black.

 

[The Random One]

> use butter on bridge

 

[Zombie_King]

"The butter makes the bars and frames slippery and hard to climb on to, and we can easily catch them," said bridge guard Wong Man.

WONG MAN!

 

[mattttherman3]

And what happens when something on the top of the bridge needs to be fixed?

 

[Link Kadeshi]

It says something about a country that they have to find a way to prevent their population from killing themselves.

Because suicide help groups/hotlines don't exist anywhere else in the world.

Oh wait.

Pot, Kettle, Black.

Not saying no one outside commits suicide. I think Japan proves that whenever a stock market drop occurs. What I'm saying is this. I have not heard of other countries that needed to go to these lengths, and while I do not have the numbers in front of me, I know that China is one of the leaders of suicide rates. Seems like a bit of a rough divide between an 800 number, and what amounts to a crazy last ditch effort of putting butter on a bridge.
"What are we gonna do, what have we not yet tried?!"
"Duuurr... What 'bout some butter. It be cheap, a-he-uck!"(Ok, that was a bad attempt at a hick accent...)
"Genius! Call the fire department, we'll need their trucks!"
At least, that's how it goes in my head.... Then maybe a little Batman(Adam West version) music as they drive to the bridge...

And what happens when something on the top of the bridge needs to be fixed?

That's when they send the Communist Monkeys to get to work.

 

[IxionIndustries]

Oh my god... That guy's name.. Wong Man..

Anyways, wouldn't you think that the butter would increase suicide rates?

[small]Lol.. Wong Man[/small]

 

[theultimateend]

Man China sounds like such a shitty place to live.

When you have to butter your bridges to keep people alive...srsly.

It says something about a country that they have to find a way to prevent their population from killing themselves.

Because suicide help groups/hotlines don't exist anywhere else in the world.

Oh wait.

Pot, Kettle, Black.

Always blaming the Black people for Pots and Kettles. That is pretty cold blooded. What did they ever do to you?

Sometimes? Yes. Note that he said "Everytime someone threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy." I would take from this that they don't believe all suicide attempts are for attention, just the ones that threaten to do so.

Plus, if you're going to commit suicide and you're not doing it for attention, there are far better ways to do so than jumping off a bridge. I hear guns work pretty well.

Bridges are cheaper than guns.

Why does money matter if you're going to be dead? You could probably hang yourself in most houses if you don't really want to splash out on a gun or have trouble acquiring one.

The point is: If they're going to commit suicide and really believe they have nothing to live for, they're far less likely to do it in a public place. If someone's just attention seeking on the other hand...

Yes I'd love to hang myself and fail and end up a vegetable that gets stuck on life support.

OR I could take a pretty much certain route of terminal velocity into water or concrete.

I wonder...

 

[Superhyperactiveman]

"Each time somebody threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy over personal problems we end up with several hours of tailbacks and there were lots of complaints"

Yes... leave it to the Chinese government to try to stop potential suicide because it backs up traffic. Not to save the meat-sacks trying to leap to their doom.

And also... butter...?

 

[ae86gamer]

"The butter makes the bars and frames slippery and hard to climb on to, and we can easily catch them," said bridge guard Wong Man.

This raises one question though... What are they gonna do once they run out of butter?

[sup]Margarine perhaps?[/sup]

 

[dalek sec]

Communism is the very definition of failure!

Fixed for Liberty Prime.

Democracy is non-negotiable!

Democracy will never be defeated!

Man that's just odd though, butter of all things.

 

[Energylegzz]

Maybe the most delicious bridge in the world...