Choo choo! All aboard the Complain Train!

hanselthecaretaker

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Swamp ass. But not just any swamp ass. The kind you get when the shit doesn’t break off clean, and all the wiping only goes so far (*edit* as in, you can just *feel* something unsavory still knocking at the door even after the TP shows all clear). Ideally I’ve gotten to a kind of zen state more often lately where the logs are complete and leave no trace residue, but at least one a week or so it’s a half assed constipated kinda shit, and I hate it.

Of course, I should be thankful it doesn’t happen more often with how meaty and cheesy my diet usually is.
 
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Xprimentyl

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Swamp ass. But not just any swamp ass. The kind you get when the shit doesn’t break off clean, and all the wiping only goes so far. Ideally I’ve gotten to a kind of zen state more often lately where the logs are complete and leave no trace residue, but at least one a week or so it’s a half assed constipated kinda shit, and I hate it.

Of course, I should be thankful it doesn’t happen more often with how meaty and cheesy my diet usually is.
 
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Gordon_4

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Swamp ass. But not just any swamp ass. The kind you get when the shit doesn’t break off clean, and all the wiping only goes so far. Ideally I’ve gotten to a kind of zen state more often lately where the logs are complete and leave no trace residue, but at least one a week or so it’s a half assed constipated kinda shit, and I hate it.

Of course, I should be thankful it doesn’t happen more often with how meaty and cheesy my diet usually is.
Get a bidet installed, that is the only solution to such a thing.
 

Bob_McMillan

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Get a bidet installed, that is the only solution to such a thing.
Are bidets popular in Australia? I've always seen them as an Asian-y thing. Although apparently they're more predominant in Christian countries.
 

Gordon_4

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Are bidets popular in Australia? I've always seen them as an Asian-y thing. Although apparently they're more predominant in Christian countries.
They exist here and you can get them. They aren’t popular by any measure but I’ve been considering getting one since I had some surgery a while back.
 

Bob_McMillan

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They exist here and you can get them. They aren’t popular by any measure but I’ve been considering getting one since I had some surgery a while back.
Well, I can endorse them. I guess for some getting more wet while cleaning your ass is counter-intuitive, but its a much better experience than trying to mop up a messy shit with just basically your hand covered in paper. Although since you'd be getting one due to your surgery, I'd imagine you're getting the fixed kind that's attached to your toilet. Never used one of those.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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They exist here and you can get them. They aren’t popular by any measure but I’ve been considering getting one since I had some surgery a while back.
Just run the hose into the toilet and shout for one of the kids to turn it on - the Bogan Bidet.

Or learn The Jog of Shame.
 

hanselthecaretaker

My flask is half full
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Get a bidet installed, that is the only solution to such a thing.
I edited the post to add clarification lol.

Anyways, wouldn’t that just splash everywhere though? It seems doubtful one could rely on it to get the job fully done. There’d at least need to be a wipe for inspection I’d think.
 

Drathnoxis

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Well, I can endorse them. I guess for some getting more wet while cleaning your ass is counter-intuitive, but its a much better experience than trying to mop up a messy shit with just basically your hand covered in paper. Although since you'd be getting one due to your surgery, I'd imagine you're getting the fixed kind that's attached to your toilet. Never used one of those.
I got one about half a year ago. One of the best ideas in the world as far as I'm concerned. Super easy to install too, just fits right under the toilet seat. Was not very expensive either. Gets things much cleaner than TP ever did for way less effort.
 

Bob_McMillan

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I've spent the last two days trying to get a stain out of a brand new white shirt. Sigh. I haven't bought a white shirt in years because I feared this very problem, but I let down my guard once and now this stupid little orange spot is driving me crazy.
 
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Xprimentyl

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Found out this morning that a good friend of mine passed away yesterday from diabetic complications. He was a good dude, and I'm going to miss him. Pool shark who left me with a losing record against him; I'm sure he's hustling the angels in heaven for beers and shots as we speak. RIP. Another rematch when I get there.
 

Dalisclock

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View attachment 7108

In the past year, the stock market went from about 36K to a new low of 28K today. My wife is going to kill me and it isn't even my fault!

View attachment 7117
Fun Fact: In the Declaration of Independence, "Calling Oreos Chocolate Sandwich Biscuits" is cited as one of the intolerable acts of the British Crown and King George in particular. It's followed up with the statement "Georgie Boy is a Fat Flatulent Git who wouldn't know a proper Sandwich Biscuit if he choked on one".

Obviously /s.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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They exist here and you can get them. They aren’t popular by any measure but I’ve been considering getting one since I had some surgery a while back.

You'd want to get an extremely good water softener if you were on bore water... can't imagine calcium build up would be good for the ol' ringpiece.
 

Xprimentyl

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In the early 2000s, I discovered a musical artist by the name of Somniae. Recently, I went looking for their work, and have discovered for all intents and purposes that they've disappeared off the face of the planet. I've got proof of their existence in the form of a couple of MP3s I've had on my phone for years, but every search I'm capable of yields absolutely no reference to the artist. The only album I'm aware of is called A Seattle Story (EP), and the two tracks I have are "Sleepless In San Francisco" and "A Distant Blue Glow," but the one I've been trying to track down is called "Concepcion." No combination of search terms brings me anywhere remotely close, and i's infuriating.
 

XsjadoBlayde

Intersectional Multidimensional Pansexual Alliance
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In the early 2000s, I discovered a musical artist by the name of Somniae. Recently, I went looking for their work, and have discovered for all intents and purposes that they've disappeared off the face of the planet. I've got proof of their existence in the form of a couple of MP3s I've had on my phone for years, but every search I'm capable of yields absolutely no reference to the artist. The only album I'm aware of is called A Seattle Story (EP), and the two tracks I have are "Sleepless In San Francisco" and "A Distant Blue Glow," but the one I've been trying to track down is called "Concepcion." No combination of search terms brings me anywhere remotely close, and i's infuriating.
No worries fam, got your back 👌😉


And the artist's main page;

 

Xprimentyl

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No worries fam, got your back 👌😉


And the artist's main page;

OMFG, I think I love you. Seriously. How in the hell did you find this??? Thank you so god damned much; you're a fucking legend, and I would die/kill for you.
 

Piscian

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Lost about 25k since I smartly gave my bank my savings to put in stocks in Sept last year. Idk, I just figured when you use a wealth management service they would be smart enough to pull out with a clearly declining stock trend. Not really sure if I should make them pull my money out and take my losses as it doesn't seems like the market is bouncing back any time soon or if this is how savings are supposed to work and I just leave it alone.