"Clinically proven" oxymorons and misnomers

[Abedeus]

Lots of pleonasms. Yay.

Look up high!

...Can you look UP low? Or look DOWN high?

Well, high is an adjective in this instance, so in actual fact, I think it qualifies (somewhat imprecisely, granted) that you aren't just looking up, you are looking up high. Or you could use it to reinforce the idea of looking up.

Same goes for this:

Flying high....


If you are flying arent you already technically high up in the sky?

High as a kite, agian, if its a kite and its up in the air, isnt that a given that its high?

Have you ever heard of low flying?

Well, as much as I agree with the low flying (close to ground/populated areas), looking up and looking high is basically the same thing. You might as well say:

What a fat load of grease.

 

[minarri]

Scientific law. There's no such thing people. Science does not deal in absolutes, only in evidence for or against a theory.

Agreed! Though it is funny to think of what might happen if you do somehow find a way to break one of the laws. Will you be fined, or arrested by nerds in lab coats, or...?

Haha you guys aren't engineers, then. We deal in many absolutes--absolute certainties that our facade of not letting liberal arts majors know the tricks of our trade.

My favorite oxymoron:
Black Light. If the light were actually black, it would be dark. Black is nowhere on the spectrum, so how is there black light?

As an ex-physics major who fled to humanities (the horror of it all!), I recall needing to treat many things as constants for the sake of equations, and while for many purposes this works it doesn't change the fact that there really aren't many (if any) true constants in our world.

 

[velcthulhu]

Also when people say "a whole 'nother"

It technically isn't wrong. The "whole" is used as an infix. It's the same as "fan-fucking-tastic" or constructs like that.

Well yeah but "nother" isn't a word. "Other" is, but I hear a lot of people use "nother."

It just separates two parts of a single word. In this case, "another" is separated into "a" and "nother" with a "whole" separating the two, creating "a-whole-nother".

it's called temesis (don't know how to spell it)

Is it? I've always just called it an infix. =\

It's spelled "Tmesis", and it dates back to Greek poetry, for example the Iliad. It comes from the Greek word for cutting.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Scientific law. There's no such thing people. Science does not deal in absolutes, only in evidence for or against a theory.

Agreed! Though it is funny to think of what might happen if you do somehow find a way to break one of the laws. Will you be fined, or arrested by nerds in lab coats, or...?

Haha you guys aren't engineers, then. We deal in many absolutes--absolute certainties that our facade of not letting liberal arts majors know the tricks of our trade.

My favorite oxymoron:
Black Light. If the light were actually black, it would be dark. Black is nowhere on the spectrum, so how is there black light?

As an ex-physics major who fled to humanities (the horror of it all!), I recall needing to treat many things as constants for the sake of equations, and while for many purposes this works it doesn't change the fact that there really aren't many (if any) true constants in our world.

Ah yes, the ever present "Just assume they're spheres, it's ok" problem. One of the most annoying flaws. Although, there are a few constants--atomic values, densities, factors affecting the rate at which science students switch to a liberal art major...(speaking of, how was the switch? Thinking of wandering that way myself, maybe...but I didn't say that)

This makes me think of another phrase that contradicts itself. 'Degrees Kelvin'. Kelvin is not measured in degrees, it's just Kelvin, as in 425K. Although, the whole Kelvin scale will only make sense if the values of Kelvin change as we move closer to 0--an arbitrary assignment of 273=0'C means that the concept of absolute 0 more likely than not will happen much lower than -273'C, in all likelyhood.

 

[Overlord_Dave]

Obviously, at the end of the day, there like aren't any phrases I don't like, you know?

EDIT: please see the irony in this

 

[minarri]

Ah yes, the ever present "Just assume they're spheres, it's ok" problem. One of the most annoying flaws. Although, there are a few constants--atomic values, densities, factors affecting the rate at which science students switch to a liberal art major...(speaking of, how was the switch? Thinking of wandering that way myself, maybe...but I didn't say that)

This makes me think of another phrase that contradicts itself. 'Degrees Kelvin'. Kelvin is not measured in degrees, it's just Kelvin, as in 425K. Although, the whole Kelvin scale will only make sense if the values of Kelvin change as we move closer to 0--an arbitrary assignment of 273=0'C means that the concept of absolute 0 more likely than not will happen much lower than -273'C, in all likelyhood.

It wasn't too bad, really! I switched to psychology, one of the so-called soft sciences, and also ended up studying a bit of linguistics. In true humanities major form, I chose what I wanted to study and now I don't know what I can do in the way of jobs.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Ah yes, the ever present "Just assume they're spheres, it's ok" problem. One of the most annoying flaws. Although, there are a few constants--atomic values, densities, factors affecting the rate at which science students switch to a liberal art major...(speaking of, how was the switch? Thinking of wandering that way myself, maybe...but I didn't say that)

This makes me think of another phrase that contradicts itself. 'Degrees Kelvin'. Kelvin is not measured in degrees, it's just Kelvin, as in 425K. Although, the whole Kelvin scale will only make sense if the values of Kelvin change as we move closer to 0--an arbitrary assignment of 273=0'C means that the concept of absolute 0 more likely than not will happen much lower than -273'C, in all likelyhood.

It wasn't too bad, really! I switched to psychology, one of the so-called soft sciences, and also ended up studying a bit of linguistics. In true humanities major form, I chose what I wanted to study and now I don't know what I can do in the way of jobs.

Damn, good to know, but slightly diappointing. Maybe I'll just minor...

 

[Nivag the Owl]

Sorry, this just cracks me up every time:

Microsoft Works

 

[messy]

Good or bad Energy. In new-agey medicine, Energy does not have a moral alignment.

Also any attempt by said things to define Energy

 

[minarri]

Damn, good to know, but slightly diappointing. Maybe I'll just minor...

Haha probably not a bad choice! I've spent the last year in a fellowship and still don't know what to do, and meanwhile all of my engineering-major friends are continuing their way toward the job paths they chose long ago.

 

[Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs]

Also when people say "a whole 'nother" or "all of the sudden"
Those aren't even remotely grammatically correct.

I call Family Guy plagiarism!
Also, "the excitement of fishing is..." I know it's not a real one but, excitement? fishing?
WHAT!
EDIT: Also, "Bro, I didn't do nothing!"
What, are you trying to admit you did something wrong? Or are you just a moron.

 

[BlueMage]

Working for a consulting firm as I do, I've come to hate the phrase "The customer is always right"

No. No no no. Frequently, not only is the customer DEAD WRONG, but they're morons who couldn't find their own arse with both hands, a torch, a manual, two assistants and a week to organise the whole expedition.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Damn, good to know, but slightly diappointing. Maybe I'll just minor...

Haha probably not a bad choice! I've spent the last year in a fellowship and still don't know what to do, and meanwhile all of my engineering-major friends are continuing their way toward the job paths they chose long ago.

Thanks for the tip. I'll take it into consideration.

 

[Annoying Turd]

FEV virus, Forced Evolutionary Virus virus.

Religious Science.

 

[minarri]

Also when people say "a whole 'nother" or "all of the sudden"
Those aren't even remotely grammatically correct.

I call Family Guy plagiarism!
Also, "the excitement of fishing." I know it's not a real one but, excitement? fishing?
WHAT!

Screw Family Guy, we folks of the Midwest have been saying "a-whole-nother" for ages. Plus it's an infix, dammit

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

...okay, I get the part about koala marsupials,

As an Aussie, I've never heard about that one.


oh, and the ATM one bothers me also.

 

[nerdsamwich]

Here goes:
Why is a "TV set" a single unit?
Why is it a pair of panties, but only one bra?
Why do shipments go by automobile and cargo by ship?
Why are apartments all stuck together?
Why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
And "slap-happy"? Who the fuck is happy about getting slapped?

 

[Arctic Fox]

"Bless his/her heart" is a southern way of saying "no offense".
example: "He's failed the seventh grade twice, bless his heart"
It's also a way to call someone an idiot while seeming pious.

 

[minarri]

"Bless his/her heart" is a southern way of saying "no offense".
example: "He's failed the seventh grade twice, bless his heart"
It's also a way to call someone an idiot while seeming pious.

It works so well, though. My family moved to the South a few years back, and quickly discovered that you can say whatever you want about a person so long as you follow it up with a "bless his/her heart." Convenient. Evil, but convenient.

 

[Trujkin]

I've got a ton of these, but "tuna fish" can make me reach for a weapon.

I also get a pretty solid chuckle when people are being so very dramatic about the time of day that they must be repetitive: "Do you realize it's 4:30 a.m. IN THE MORNING?!"