Corupt a wish foundation.

[Souplex]

Granted, but they lock it shortly afterwards.
I wish for pie.

 

[Disaster Button]

Wish granted, except it contains my hair.

I wish I had some more ice cream.

 

[dmase]

Granted. Your house burns down and kills you and your entire family.

I wish for a giant dildo to rampage through Manhattan.

Granted.... guess where the dildo is

I wish everyone would quote the person they are corrupting on here.(and delete the excess quotes)

 

[gigastrike]

I still wish for the philosopher's stone.

Granted, but you'll be constantly haunted by the ghosts of the thousands of people used to create it.

I wish for a bicycle helmet that works.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

snip

Granted, but you are banned for reasons unspecified.

 

[Internet Kraken]

I wish for a bicycle helmet that works.

Granted, but it's so heavy that the extra weight throws you off balance. You tragically fall off your bike and roll over an edge. Every bone in your body breaks, except for your skull.

I wish I was in the Starcraft 2 beta.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Bloody hell, this thing has already derailed with people granting the wrong wishes. I think we can safely say this thread has failed...

Granted but... Wait, damnit!


Anyway, Granted, but the game ends up sucking.


I wish for awesome guitar skills

 

[Levitas1234]

Granted, but it's so heavy that the extra weight throws you off balance. You tragically fall off your bike and roll over an edge. Every bone in your body breaks, except for your skull.

I wish I was in the Starcraft 2 beta.

Granted, you are now living inside the starcraft 2 beta and have been eaten by a zergling. soz

I wish for the worlds most perfect sandwich

 

[Souplex]

Granted, but after trying it every other food ever tastes worse.
I wish for money.

 

[yoshimickster]

Granted, but it's conterfeit.

I wish for a thousand missles.

 

[Levitas1234]

granted but the weight of the missiles crush you and your home!

I wish for "love"


You people need subtlety you cannot just make up some random consequence! be clever with it.

 

[kalakashi]

Granted, but they're all extraordinarily tiny and aimed for various parts of your body, and will hit at random intervals which will give you the feeling that you've just been electrically shocked whenever they hit you, and as such you'll never be able to rest easy that you're not about to spaz out. Hell, it might turn you insane, trying to track how many have hit you so far, and how many are left, trying to figure out some sort of formula of when they hit and when you might be free.

DANGNABBIT! ABSOLUTELY NINJA'D! Teach me to do the crossed out writing thing. I don't want that paragraph wasted.

Granted, but the love comes only from squirrels, and in such vast amounts that wherever you are you will be constantly bombarded by insane attempts by squirrels trying to reach you and literally claw through to your heart. You will need some sort of kevlar or something to that effect.

I wish for MOAR WISHES!!

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

Granted, but they will all give you Cancer and nothing else

I wish for a Weasel

 

[bassdrum]

Instead you get a ferret.
I wish for an incorruptible wish.

 

[dmase]

granted but the weight of the missiles crush you and your home!

I wish for "love"


You people need subtlety you cannot just make up some random consequence! be clever with it.

Granted it comes in the form of a sex crazed male ape....have fun

I wish that i had KH 3 right now.

 

[kalakashi]

EDIT: Calling back to wish for Mass Effect 3.

Granted, but you get it RIGHT NOW. As in, it's not finished. There's a bit of concept art maybe and some ideas floating around. You get 2 drawings of 2 different hairstyles for Shephard.

I wish for my cancer (from my "MOAR WISHES!!") to be cured!!

 

[yoshimickster]

Granted, but Cancer also happens to be the name of your new sick ferret so.... I need explain no more.

I wish that my dad's pizza would be done soon.

 

[(whitty name here)]

Granted, but Cancer also happens to be the name of your new sick ferret so.... I need explain no more.

I wish that my dad's pizza would be done soon.

Granted, but its bad.

I wish I could kill every troll in existence.

 

[the1ultimate]

@Darkside360 Granted, but you find it's more or less a Mass Effect 2 expansion with a storyline blatantly ripped off from National Treasure.

@(whitty name here) Granted, but you also have to do it in Soviet Russia, where all trolls in existence kill YOU!

Sorry... I couldn't resist.

I wish for the power to always win.