Could You Date A Transexual?
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Yeah it probably wouldn't bother me, gender is a fluid thing as it is.
I thought I might be trans for a while, then I realised that I just don't give a shit about gender, so I'm bi, (or pan, but I don't like the term, it's fairly pretentious).
Yeah, no reason not to.
I thought I might be trans for a while, then I realised that I just don't give a shit about gender, so I'm bi, (or pan, but I don't like the term, it's fairly pretentious).
Yeah, no reason not to.
Most definitely not. You can be the prettiest Tran in the entire world but if you were born a guy, I am sorry, I really am, but I wouldn't....no I couldn't be able to look past that. Why? It could be the background I was raised in, but I think the simplest reason to chock it all down to is that medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE, and I don't date or have romantic relationships with males. I would hang out with you as a friend but there would be no chance for any courtship of any sort.
I would, if they completely look like a woman. I won't be attracted if they have a woman's body, but a male-ish face. I haven't thought about FtM, but perhaps I would if he looked completely like a man. Kind of shallow, but there you go ;P
Hey! I remember doing this exact same thread like a year ago. It went to like twenty pages and got really, really ugly by page four. This is one of those seemingly benign subjects that holds boundless potential for flame wars.
Would I date a transsexual? Am I attracted to them? Then I suppose yes, right? I mean, that's why I don't date men. Not because I hate men, but because I am not attracted to men. Try as I might, the best I can do is objectively recognize a man is attractive, whilst feeling no sexual attraction whatsoever. If I found this hypothetical transsexual attractive, that would be one pretty big stumbling block out of the way, now wouldn't it?
Now, it needs to be said, I have broken up with/stopped seeing people for some pretty stupid reasons. I am no paragon of open-mindedness. But these open ended questions can be kind of misleading, because we can substitute in anyone we please. I can imagine the most attractive, convincing transsexual of all time. Of course I'd date that. I'd be silly not to. Would I date the AVERAGE transsexual? One who retained a number of masculine features? Say a strong jaw and some 5 o' clock shadow? Or big line backer shoulders? Or man hands? Eh...probably not. But I'm a shallow prick.
Would I date a transsexual? Am I attracted to them? Then I suppose yes, right? I mean, that's why I don't date men. Not because I hate men, but because I am not attracted to men. Try as I might, the best I can do is objectively recognize a man is attractive, whilst feeling no sexual attraction whatsoever. If I found this hypothetical transsexual attractive, that would be one pretty big stumbling block out of the way, now wouldn't it?
Now, it needs to be said, I have broken up with/stopped seeing people for some pretty stupid reasons. I am no paragon of open-mindedness. But these open ended questions can be kind of misleading, because we can substitute in anyone we please. I can imagine the most attractive, convincing transsexual of all time. Of course I'd date that. I'd be silly not to. Would I date the AVERAGE transsexual? One who retained a number of masculine features? Say a strong jaw and some 5 o' clock shadow? Or big line backer shoulders? Or man hands? Eh...probably not. But I'm a shallow prick.
....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.lechat said:
Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.Smolderin said:
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.
I could, and am. Bits don't matter to me. The thing that bothers me most about it is that she's not comfortable in her own skin, partially because douchebags insist on seeing her as her body, not her.
If you're not attracted to people who are transsexual, then fine, you're not attracted to them. Don't be a douche about it, though, and mess all over yourself and each other to try to 'justify' it.
If you're not attracted to people who are transsexual, then fine, you're not attracted to them. Don't be a douche about it, though, and mess all over yourself and each other to try to 'justify' it.
This has actually been on my mind of late as someone I know is planning the operation and I find him very attractive as a man, even more so when he "ladies" it up, and have been considering trying for some dates or whatever.
But I'm not sure in the long term, I want kids one day, preferable my own biological kids with my partner so I'm not sure whether I'd be able to stay with someone that couldn't give me this.
But I'm not sure in the long term, I want kids one day, preferable my own biological kids with my partner so I'm not sure whether I'd be able to stay with someone that couldn't give me this.
Afraid not. I genuinely believe they have psychological issues that I don't really want to have to deal with. Also, I want the option of having children.
I don't even like cosmetic surgery (excepting to restore those injured, for example), let alone such a drastic thing. I think doctors are irresponsible for even offering such a service, demand or not.
I don't even like cosmetic surgery (excepting to restore those injured, for example), let alone such a drastic thing. I think doctors are irresponsible for even offering such a service, demand or not.
Most modern trans-surgery is pretty hard to spot. It's not like they're getting a third arm or anything. I expect if no one told you, you'd be none the wiser.Shinsei-J said:
Unless you just have a straight up surgery phobia, and wouldn't date a woman who'd had her spleen removed or something.
What you've described there is pretty much what the paragon of a poor transition looks like. The jaw and face are taken care of by a combination of Hormones and Facial Feminization Surgery, body hair is usually taken off by laser treatment or electrolysis, and the shoulders are taken care of surgically or hormonally(depending on the age during transition). Hand size is genetic, so if you've got big hands, you're unfortunately kinda stuck with them (I got lucky in this department though). Now I'm going to set the record straight: the average Transwoman is nowhere near what you've described. Maybe 20, 30 years ago it wold be true, but not today.BloatedGuppy said:
I'll agree with you on one thing though: I don't see this thread ending well.
OP: I am a Transsexual woman. Would I date one of my own? Well, since my sexual preference is women and I share something of a deep, visceral bond with anyone that identifies as such, yeah, I could and would. You know how in The Avengers Tony Stark and Bruce Banner get along quite well due to knowing each other on that deeper sort of level? It's kinda like that. We generally know each-others' pain.
Well i'm married so it's not something that's likely to come up (unless me and the missus split but I doubt that's likely plus i'm so far out of touch with "the dating scene" I wouldn't know where to begin if we did).
As a self confessed "manly man" it's one subject I should be able to stamp my foot down on but I can't.
I've known a few trans women in my time and i've found a few of them attractive and got on quite well with them.
As a self confessed "manly man" it's one subject I should be able to stamp my foot down on but I can't.
I've known a few trans women in my time and i've found a few of them attractive and got on quite well with them.
A lot depends on when you transition and how much money you put into that transition. Girls who transition in their early or late teens and can afford facial feminization (or who have naturally feminine features to begin with) can make completely convincing women. Girls who transition in their 30's or 40's once they've developed a complete set of masculine secondary sexual characteristics are going to make stocky, masculine looking women. And due to a persistent bigotry towards transsexuals (it's still very much "acceptable" to openly discriminate against them, even in the LBG community) a lot of people will put that transition off for a great many years. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, though, I feel like I'm getting into a bible quoting competition with the Pope.an annoyed writer said:
It'd be nice if we just a pill that you could scarf down that would let you seamlessly transition to your gender of choice, but we don't, so c'est la vie. While we're at it, it's a shame that I am not Iron Man, and that I don't have a billion dollars.
And in this thread, we learn why life is difficult for transgender people.
Personally, I have to say that it would be a bit weird, and it would be an issue we would have to deal with, but if there's genuine attraction and affection there, it doesn't need to be a stumbling block. Relationships consist of people, and people are different, and there are always going to be issues that need resolution. Love is a pretty powerful tool for that.
I think it's a bit weird how adamant people are to not allow other people to define their own identity when gender is involved. Gender identity isn't as rigid as people at large seem to want it to be, and even biological sex is not binary. Just look at all the various intersex conditions that exist.
Personally, I have to say that it would be a bit weird, and it would be an issue we would have to deal with, but if there's genuine attraction and affection there, it doesn't need to be a stumbling block. Relationships consist of people, and people are different, and there are always going to be issues that need resolution. Love is a pretty powerful tool for that.
I think it's a bit weird how adamant people are to not allow other people to define their own identity when gender is involved. Gender identity isn't as rigid as people at large seem to want it to be, and even biological sex is not binary. Just look at all the various intersex conditions that exist.
