Craziest/ supidest theories you have ever heard

[Xan Krieger]

There are lot of atheists on these forums... All these comments about religion and not a single "But God is real!" comment. Love it. We need to get rid of all religions of the world. I want my children to grow up in a world that's not stupid.

Wow condescending much? You're as bad as the religious people who say atheists are immoral and evil.

OT: Time cube gets my vote.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Craziest non-game theory: Heavy metal will turn people into kitten eating baby sacrificing satanists...

That's just silly. I don't eat kittens.

- Omni ^_^

 

[Noala]

Craziest non-game theory: Heavy metal will turn people into kitten eating baby sacrificing satanists...

That's just silly. I don't eat kittens.

- Omni ^_^

Yes we all know puppies are much healthier

 

[Grospoliner]

Every moral panic that has ever occurred:

Witches
D&D Suicides
Child Porn (charging kids for sending pictures of themselves)
Communism
Terrorism
Fluoride
Video Game Violence
Harry Potter
Science (watch Jesus Camp and tell me you're not afraid)
Pornography (causes rape)
Pitbulls
Obamacare
Drugs Prohibition
Prostitution
Soldiers pissing on dead people (they're going to hang them out to dry)

 

[gyroscopeboy]

Personal I like conspiracy theories, there are so many to choose from. Let's go with the moon hoax as one.

the idea of an invisible man in the clouds that can see everything and everyone at all times, that created all that is. thats pretty batshit bonkers to me! ^_^

You know adding faces made out of text doesn't make you look any less the jerk for belittling peoples faith in the most childish manner you could come up with.

I am an athiest. I find simply saying that is more then enough to convay to people that I don't share their beliefs, and would you look at that I didn't act like an entitled child in the process.


Through on the subject of religion I find the 6000 year old earth, creationist ideas a little silly. Mostly because the ideas behind it, and arguments for it are so easily disproven, and there really isn't a problem rectifying a belief in the Abrahamic god and evolution. You could look at the big bang and creation of the universe by a divine deity as one and the same if you want. Nothing conflicts, especially not to the point you need to cling to something like that in the face of reason.

As a christian myself, im still not entirely sure where the 6000 year theory came from?
Maybe im a bit more open minded, but i could see the earth being millions of years old, and can see how the bible works with that...it doesn't specify how long Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden, could have easily been 10 million years. Besides, everything is evolving, that much is obvious to everyone except christians with their heads in the sand.

 

[kebab4you]

Do unreadable theories count? I would then suggest the timecube http://www.timecube.com/ You lose IQ from just trying to understand .

All I could think of:

Spoiler

And since when did -1 x -1 = -1?? I didn't make it much further then the first paragraph :<

 

[Johanthemonster666]

1)"Ancient Aliens" (seriously, there is no evidence to support the any of those stupid documentaries on History Channel, I don't even call it the history channel anymore).

And on that same note...

2)"Nostradamus, the Maya, ancient China, and the Judeo-Christian-Islamic holy books are all predicting the end of the world....at some point..maybe in the near future.... maybe not for a long time....maybe not in the sense we're interpreting it...probably not likely....BUT ITS COMING!! YOU CAN'T DENY IS BECAUSE IT'S NOT PROVABLE!!"

3)9-11 conspiracy theorist: some of the most idiotic people on the planet. They deny scientific/historical/highly documented evidence almost as badly as creationist do.


4)Any kind of conspiracy theory that claims that "everything is going according to the plan of A to control B and get people to think D " and that " A is an infallible entity that controls everything or plans to". These myths come from a mindset that is trying to make sense out of the world (though coming to some bizarre conclusions) and seems to think that shadowy governments and elites are infallible James Bond type villains that are good about hiding their tracks behind convincing cover-ups (which anyone living in the age of wikileaks, or even he Pentagon Papers knows is impossible to do).

I mean I'm huge on criticizing governments as far as human rights, in social and economic issues, but all of that is publicly documented and so well known that I don't have to make up some shadowy government(s) to place the blame on.

Things are almost always more complex and sometimes inconvenient to acknowledge than quick, convenient conspiracy theories like to let on.

 

[SD-Fiend]

Craziest non-game theory: Heavy metal will turn people into kitten eating baby sacrificing satanists...

That's just silly. I don't eat kittens.

- Omni ^_^

Yes we all know puppies are much healthier

actually MANswers said that cats are better for you

 

[Light 086]

Though it's posted twice already (that I have seen), the Mayan calender predicting the end of the world. It just lights a fire under my ass for some reason.

To put it bluntly:
They couldn't predict their own end and... that really should tell people everything they need to know about how accurate that prediction is (Go A-Team!). Yet several of my friends still believe it *sigh*

 

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

Once met someone who was CONVINCED that NYC, Vegas and LA took up 3/4 of the US and and were literally next to each other. He was out to PROVE that was the truth too. It was HILARIOUS

 

[Sylveria]

Though it's posted twice already (that I have seen), the Mayan calender predicting the end of the world. It just lights a fire under my ass for some reason.

To put it bluntly:
They couldn't predict their own end and... that really should tell people everything they need to know about how accurate that prediction is (Go A-Team!). Yet several of my friends still believe it *sigh*

I always make this argument: The calender does not predict anything, it merely ends. When your Hello Kitty calender ends, do you take that as a prophecy to?

 

[stinkyrobot]

The seemingly impossible theory that makes me sad in my pants that people just happen to have faith in something greater than themselves OMFG SO SCARY!! NOWZ I CANTZ DO ANYTHINGZ MUST TROLOLOLOLOL!
/sarcastic

I think the /sarcastic was a tad redundant when you already said trolololol.

As for crazy theories my favorite is the one where people claim Justin Biever actual exists and isn't just my incredibly sadistic brain trying to torture itself to death.

 

[gruggins]

I can't believe I just read that time cube theory thing all the way through. how can that guy have a phd when he cant even structure a sentance properly. also why are the words so large and colourful. damn thing nearly gave me a seziure.

my favorite line was: YOU CAN"T KILL ME, FOR I AM 82 + CANCER.

 

[zehydra]

Ancient Aliens.

JFK was brought down by the mafia.

Actually, there is credible-yet-inconclusive evidence to support this theory.

 

[bigmak93]

Probably that if a game happens to sell a lot, it can entitle itself as a king of a certain genre beating all other games within it because they didn't get featured on the news at least twice.

I.E. Call Of Duty: MW3

Say what you will, I am not a fan of CoD. It's fun every now and again, but it doesn't deserve a crown for box office sales. The amount of income it makes should not count towards someones opinion about a game. Activision, come back and talk to me when you get at least an Editor's Pick from IGN. Like SR:TT did. BAM!

 

[Klumpfot]

I present for your delectation: http://www.truthism.com/

A quotation: "Human beings were created (that is, invented) via genetic experiments that were conducted by reptilian aliens."

The site is made even funnier by the overall tone; you are an absolute moron for not realizing that reptilian aliens live inside the Earth. Which is hollow and has an internal sun. The crowning moment of funny is the section on women.

 

[Hal10k]

Though it's posted twice already (that I have seen), the Mayan calender predicting the end of the world. It just lights a fire under my ass for some reason.

To put it bluntly:
They couldn't predict their own end and... that really should tell people everything they need to know about how accurate that prediction is (Go A-Team!). Yet several of my friends still believe it *sigh*

I always make this argument: The calender does not predict anything, it merely ends. When your Hello Kitty calender ends, do you take that as a prophecy to?

"[8] Yea, and the skies shall darken as if covered by sackcloth, and the clouds shall consume the Earth like a horde of locusts. And the Earth itself shall be rent in two, and from the fiery pits where no sane creature dare dwell shall arise the beast! [9] And it shall stand as tall as countries are wide, and its glorious white fur shall glisten even in blackest night! With a head twice the size of its body, and whiskers and bows that shall send the bravest of men into convulsion, it shall speak the language of madness in a thunderous voice that does not need a mouth! [10] And standing bestride the world's oceans, it shall spread an endless plague of happiness across all lands, and kindness shall fall from the sky like a rain of blood!"

-The Book of Kitty, verses 5:8-10

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

The Big Bang theory gets me a lot. What kinda copout is a big boom then it was all here.

 

[Dango]

The "All rich people and politicians are secretly lizards" theory is pretty ridiculous.