VanQ said:
Wait, please forgive my ignorance but... what debate over the word "lady?" What the hell is wrong with that word?
It's a big, messy subject, and plenty of women have no problem with it at all. I don't like it for the following reasons:
1. It carries all the baggage of what it means (or used to mean) to be a "lady" - quiet, obliging, unobjectionable, always polite, never outspoken, plus all the connotations of being delicate and dainty and needing to be handled with kid gloves. Those things sound outdated, but bear in mind that many,
many women were chastised during their childhood for not acting "ladylike." That happened to me a lot, and as someone who continues to act in an apparently "masculine" way I really can't stand the idea of gendering behaviour like that. I am not a "lady" in any way. I do not recognise myself in that word, and I resent the implication that I'll consider it a compliment just because of my gender. I don't
want to be ladylike or to be portrayed as such.
2. Unless the person using it would use "gentleman" if they were talking to/about a man, it implies either that there's something wrong with describing someone as a "woman" or that they're going in for the whole chivalrous kid gloves thing mentioned in number 1, or that for some reason this person feels the need to be more polite around women than men. Contrary to popular belief, special treatment based purely on gender is not something most feminists welcome.
3. There's an infantilising element to it - "young lady" is usually used to address children or adolescents, so if that's how someone's encountered it and someone then addresses them as "(young) lady" later in life for no apparent reason, it can feel like they're being treated like a child.
There are other reasons why people dislike it, and as I said, not everyone has a problem with it. However, it has been a hotly debated word for a very long time now, and women who
do dislike it are also pretty common. This isn't some new thing someone on tumblr just dreamed up.
I don't feel like I've explained it very well, but I hope that's helped give you an idea of the issue
EDIT: I should also clarify that in most cases people who do dislike it aren't going to go crazy at you or be genuinely offended, but they will probably feel uncomfortable and/or think you're a bit silly. I can't help but cringe every time I see it used casually, but I'm unlikely to make a big scene about it.