Critical Miss: #31

[Bevvie]

My girlfriend, for better or worse, has somewhat of a thing for slimes. Much like her thing for Cows (our bedroom is some kind of terrifying Bovine boudoir) does little prevent her from eating steak or wearing leather, her love of the slime does not prevent her from murdering those little bastards en masse. The fact that it was established in the awesome Rocket Slime that slimes are self aware, form complex social groups and that they're capable of feeling great pain and loss does not stop her from wearing their hollowed out carcasses as a fashion statement in the new Dragon Quest game.

With her slime dress, slime hat, slime earings and Slime shield she is a terrifying sight to behold in Dragon Quest. When she shambles out of the darkness looking like some kind of giant walking Slime orgy monsters have been known to flee outright.

Sweetie, you must provide me with a REAL Slime hat and earrings. Instead of a DS XL for my birthday I demand them... Please? I don't know how the slime clothes would work, but I am sure we could make something work. I'll even trade in all the cows for said merchandise! Slimes are greater than cows, indeed.

Also thinking about it, I would seriously look like Erin did in some of those panels if I didn't get the slime hat. I'd be so pissed off I'd storm Square Enix headquarters demanding one for myself.

And to be fair, I did have a slime pet in Dragon Quest 5. I only had to kill a few (twenty or so) before I caught it.

 

[The Wooster]

My girlfriend, for better or worse, has somewhat of a thing for slimes. Much like her thing for Cows (our bedroom is some kind of terrifying Bovine boudoir) does little prevent her from eating steak or wearing leather, her love of the slime does not prevent her from murdering those little bastards en masse. The fact that it was established in the awesome Rocket Slime that slimes are self aware, form complex social groups and that they're capable of feeling great pain and loss does not stop her from wearing their hollowed out carcasses as a fashion statement in the new Dragon Quest game.

With her slime dress, slime hat, slime earings and Slime shield she is a terrifying sight to behold in Dragon Quest. When she shambles out of the darkness looking like some kind of giant walking Slime orgy monsters have been known to flee outright.

Sweetie, you must provide me with a REAL Slime hat and earrings. Instead of a DS XL for my birthday I demand them... Please? I don't know how the slime clothes would work, but I am sure we could make something work. I'll even trade in all the cows for said merchandise! Slimes are greater than cows, indeed.

Also thinking about it, I would seriously look like Erin did in some of those panels if I didn't get the slime hat. I'd be so pissed off I'd storm Square Enix headquarters demanding one for myself.

And to be fair, I did have a slime pet in Dragon Quest 5. I only had to kill a few (twenty or so) before I caught it.

No. I bought you that stupid slime controller which you have never used.

Also, be a dear and pick up Metroid on your way home tonight plz.

 

[Dora]

Oh God. It's true. I do that. But I like to think of it more as my fee for being the one to write up all the articles with deadlines looming when nobody else steps forward rather than piracy.

Nobody has ever sent us a scepter, unfortunately.

Yet.

 

[Canadian Briton]

Now I want a slime hat. *Grumble Grumble*

 

[DTWolfwood]

lol nice punchline XD

 

[CloggedDonkey]

What's with the Scott Pilgrim style black boxes explaining things? Is that common for web-comics, 'cause I haven't seen it much before the movie came out.

OT: Pretty funny, actually. I don't get the needless riff on Kain and Lynch, but whatever.

 

[TLatshaw]

As a writer-editor for a small newspaper, I can tell you this is all completely true.

...If anyone ever sent us anything.

 

[SMOKEMNHALO2001]

was kane and lynch that bad?

No it's a good game, I loved it, although I despise that shit ending.

 

[Eri]

Dongclown? I'll have to start using it.

 

[Bealzibob]

Critical Miss #31
...When she shambles out of the darkness looking like some kind of giant walking Slime orgy monsters have been known to flee outright...

...like some kind of giant walking Slime orgy monsters have been known to flee...

...giant walking Slime orgy monsters have been known...

...orgy monsters...

I'VE GOT TO PLAY THIS GAME!!!

Really like your comics btw, been a supporter for a while.

Edit: After vaguely concentrationing on the above sentence I have deciphered it and I'm a little dissappointed. Only a little.

 

[The Wooster]

Dupe

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Ha, so true....it is too easy to win over a review

 

[ThaBenMan]

Heheheh... dongclown. I'm definitely calling someone that at the next opportunity.

 

[Cxizent]

So, they've given up on drawing in that little gerbil thing? Also: didn't the lead chick have a triforce tattoo on her left forearm? It wasn't present last comic.

 

[Moriarty70]

was kane and lynch that bad?

No it's a good game, I loved it, although I despise that shit ending.

It's not about whether the game is good or bad, it's about the inherited danger reviewing it poses to any journalists career.

 

[WrcklessIntent]

So, they started ripping off Scott Pilgrim with those little info-bits?

Hell anything that takes cues form Scott Pilgrim is awesome in my book.
I mean this comic was already great now with info boxes its great+1000

 

[Kermi]

This reminds me of when I was working at EB Games and the manager got a bunch of sweet games at a conference that were supposed to be handed out to the staff.

He kept a bunch for himself, gave a few more to friends, and put the rest into the store's inventory to make his sales figures look better.

Rage... building...

 

[Guest_Star]

Would you mind not doing the Scott Pilgrimesque text boxes please? It puts me off reading this.

I forgot how text boxes were only invented by that film.

I wasn't talking about the film, but they actually are a reference to Scott Pilgrim.

Actually it's an old manga trick that SP borrowed from. I personally got it from some weird-as-shit transgender manga.

Which explains lots...

Info boxes has at least been around since the first political comics (to make the jokes more obvious for the semi-illiterate/slow-witted public*) in Le Charivari and Punch (ca 1830-40). But it's prolly even older in manga (kanji pictograms makes it easy to insert succint, but meaningfull info).

*) As illustrated here [http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=277].


[sup]Hmm...
My work here is done.
Useless Trivia-man away! *voosh*[/sup]

*edit* added link

 

[Vortigar]

As a fan of Virtua Fighter I'm feeling more than a little annoyed by this comic.

"Virtua" is trademarked by SEGA-AM2 and the only game that uses it is VF (there used to be a Virtua Racer and a few others). No other publisher/developer can use that nomer as it'd be an infringement.

Reminding us VF fans that we'll probably never play the latest two installments of our favorite game is rather harsh.

I'm sure you didn't intend it but this comic was just really unfortunate.